by Kendall Ryan
I shook my head and grinned. “Just the company of this beautiful woman.”
As he scurried away, I realized with a start that this was a celebration of sorts, even if Corinne didn’t realize it. We’d made huge strides in our relationship. I was starting to feel like she was actually opening up to me, and it only fed my hunger to know more about her. Share more of myself.
“So, I was thinking the other night about how alike our childhoods were in some ways, and then about the adults we grew up to be,” I said, pausing to catch her eye in the candlelight. Damn, was she gorgeous. “I would never wish any of that stuff on a kid, but I wonder who we would be if things had been different.”
A busboy dropped off a steaming basket of rolls and filled our water glasses. When he left, Corinne nodded.
“Yeah, I’ve thought a lot about that myself,” she said. “There are definitely parts I would change, but at the same time, I like who I am most times. And I feel like a lot of my drive and determination comes from not having . . . if that makes sense. Like, instead of saying, ‘I guess this is the way it’s going to be,’ I took it as a challenge. Most kids in my situation would wind up repeating the cycle, but I refused to accept that fate.”
I picked up a roll and set it on her plate, then took one for myself. The waiter came back and poured our champagne, and when he left, she cupped her glass with a shy smile.
“Thank you for this, for tonight. I don’t normally go to places like this.”
“Anything for you,” I murmured.
Her eyes were bright with curiosity as she watched me. “Have you always been a romantic?”
I considered her question. “In a way, I guess I have. I had my first girlfriend at age eight.”
“Eight?” Corinne’s tone was one of shock.
“Yeah.” I chuckled, remembering it. “There was this girl I liked, one of our neighbors. She was ten. Anyway, I told my brothers, and they helped me. They dressed me in a spiffy secondhand suit, bought a heart-shaped box of chocolates, and picked flowers for me to give her. They even helped me write her a poem.”
“Oh my.” Corinne chuckled. “I would love to hear it.”
“Lucky for you, it’s etched in my memory for all eternity, so grab hold of your panties so you don’t wind up throwing them at me out of pure, unadulterated lust,” I warned before clearing my throat. “Roses are red, violets are blue, last night I had a dream, that I was kissing you.”
Corinne tossed her head back and let out a belly laugh as I took a sip of my champagne.
“Are you done?” I asked, feigning insult. “Because I thought it was pretty brilliant myself. And it worked, I’ll have you know.”
“She kissed you for that?” Corinne asked, her eyes widening incredulously.
“Well, no. She kissed me for the chocolates, but still.”
For the next two hours, we talked and shared more stories, no encouragement needed. Some were funny, some were sad. But when our luxurious dinner was over, I felt like we’d made even more strides toward becoming . . . something else. Something different. Something amazing and life-altering.
I couldn’t help but hope tonight would be the night that she came back to my place and stayed. But when I suggested it, Corinne shut down completely, telling me she had to get going and how tired she was.
Once I dropped her off back at the office to pick up her car, I found myself watching her go, feeling lonelier than ever.
Being with Corinne was like a drug. The more I had, the more I craved. The only thing I needed to know was how to make her as addicted to me as I was to her. It was no easy task, considering how hard she was fighting it, but after tonight I was more certain than ever.
She wanted me.
She cared about me.
She might even love me.
But if I wanted her for more than just sex and companionship, I was going to have to be patient.
As she climbed into her car and gave me a little wave, I waved back, a sense of determination settling over me.
It wasn’t good-bye. It was see you tomorrow. Which meant, lucky for me, I had nothing but time on my hands. Time at work, time after work, weekend functions . . . all opportunities to get her to see how good we were together.
And I was going to milk them for all they were worth.
Chapter Nineteen
Corinne
Saturday was supposed to be an easy day, and it probably was for most people. Unfortunately, my life wasn’t like most people’s. The entire day had been a shit show. I felt like I’d been running errands for the past six days—it was more like three hours, but still—and I was tired and cranky.
First, there was dry cleaning to drop off, and then prescriptions to pick up and groceries to buy, and now I was running late. I needed to get home and get Aaron loaded up so I could take him to his doctor’s appointment. I hadn’t run any red lights yet, but I was speeding a good ten miles an hour over every posted speed limit. I hated being late, so I was mumbling silent prayers to myself as I weaved in and out of traffic. Worst of all? I had to pee. That pit stop through the Starbucks drive-through had been my undoing. Hey, a girl had needs.
What had gotten me through my stressful morning? Thoughts of Cooper. I still couldn’t believe he’d planned such a romantic date earlier this week. We weren’t dating, I mean, we were fucking. There was a difference, right?
But no matter how many times I’d tried to convince Cooper—and myself—that we couldn’t be anything more, I always found myself wanting to give him more.
Like his offer for a sleepover. God, I wanted to. The rational part of me knew it wasn’t a good idea, but that didn’t stop me from wanting it.
After I picked up Aaron, we made it just in time to the doctor’s office where he’d get a checkup, and then we’d cover his physical therapy progress. As we stepped into the waiting room, I was surprised to be greeted by four feet, eleven inches of gray-haired sass.
“Mauve?” I squinted, confusion washing over me. “What are you doing here?”
She shrugged. “Got one of the nurses to drop me off on her way home, and promised her that you’d give me a lift back. I’m not an invalid, kiddo. Stop gaping at me like that.”
She was right, but still, an outing was a big deal for her. I couldn’t quite believe she was here.
“I don’t understand. Why did you come?”
She leaned in to give me a one-armed hug. “Because you shouldn’t have to do all of this alone.”
She was wrong, but I didn’t correct her. I was Aaron’s legal guardian. The responsibility of his care did fall on me, but it was nice to have someone notice and understand that sometimes responsibility took a toll.
“Thanks for coming.”
Seconds later, Aaron’s name was called, and off we went through the wide door and into the doctor’s office. We waited in the small interior office, just us three. Aaron looked out at the aquarium that sat against one wall.
As unexpected as her visit was, it was nice to see Mauve outside the walls of the retirement community where she now lived. She’d been a part of my life, and Aaron’s, for as long as I could remember, and there was something comforting about the three of us together again, in the same room.
She’d raised Aaron and me as brother and sister, and as close as we all were, she made no qualms about disagreeing with my decisions now that we were older. She saw my relationship with Aaron as a refusal to move on with my life. I saw it as a testament to my loyalty, as a commitment to him.
“What’s going on with that man-friend of yours?” Mauve winked.
Ah, there it was. The real reason for her visit today. She wanted to grill me about Cooper.
For just a moment, I imagined telling her everything—every lovely detail about Cooper Kingsley—if only to let myself fantasize that I was a normal twenty-something woman with a normal love life. But reality came crashing down on me as the harsh fluorescent lights reminded me of our
surroundings. Best not to encourage her.
“There’s nothing to tell. It’s nothing, Mauve. I made an oath to Aaron. End of story.”
She squared her shoulders. “Yes, you did. And I know you’ll never break it, that you’ll never toss him to the wayside. But he’d want you to move on with your life. It doesn’t mean Aaron won’t be a part of it, but he shouldn’t be the only part. He’d want you to have a husband, children, big family Christmases, all the things you two dreamed about.”
I swallowed hard, blinking back tears.
“You know why that’s so hard to hear?”
I glared at her. “No, but I bet you’re going to tell me.”
A coy smile graced her lips. “It’s because I’m right, kiddo.”
The medical assistant chose that moment to enter the room, thank God, and I stole away for a few moments while she checked Aaron’s vitals. I needed to get away from Mauve’s judging eyes, and I seriously still needed to pee.
After locating the restroom, I relieved myself and washed my hands.
When my eyes met my reflection, the woman looking back at me was unfamiliar. She was more confident, for one. I couldn’t quite put my finger on what it was. The set of my shoulders, the tilt of my chin, maybe.
As much as I didn’t want to admit it to myself, this affair with Cooper had been good for me. I never did things like this, things that were just for me. My cheeks were flushed pink, and my eyes glistened with anticipation.
An idea struck me, and feeling almost giddy, I quickly pulled my phone from my purse. I punched in Cooper’s name and began a new text.
Is that offer for a sleepover still good?
I didn’t expect his reply so quickly, and was about to shove my phone back into my purse when three little dots appeared, letting me know he was composing his message.
Of course it is. But it’s not nice to tease a man, dove.
I wasn’t nervous—not really. This was Cooper. I knew he’d be careful, knew he’d take control so I didn’t have to think, and that was what I craved.
I was tired of being in charge. My personal life was chaotic, and I craved his complete domination. I wanted to shut off my brain and just enjoy myself for once, without having to rush home after. I knew I could pay Tabitha extra to spend the night with Aaron, and so really nothing was standing in my way.
Me + you . . . all night long. Think you can handle that?
I could almost see him smirking down at his phone with that trademark half smile he had. That playful side to him that I loved.
Fuck yes, I can. Tell me when.
I have to work out the best night, but soon.
Cooper had begged me to stay over so many times, and I loved how happy I knew this would make him.
And, Coop? I swallowed down a wave of nerves and typed out the rest of my message. I promise I’ll tell you everything very soon.
I trust you.
His reply stung deep in my chest.
I hadn’t earned his trust, not with the colossal secret I’d been keeping from him. But we were growing closer than ever, and the hard truth I’d kept from him this entire time was going to come out. And when it did, I had a feeling it would ruin everything.
Trying not to think about that just yet, I shoved my phone in my purse and headed back to the exam room.
Chapter Twenty
Cooper
“I think that’s every blanket in the place,” I said as I set the pile onto the cushioned outdoor sofa before pulling the sliding glass door shut.
“You really didn’t have to do that,” Corinne replied, but even as she spoke, I could see snuggling in closer against the cool air.
“Nope, you wanted to spend some time on the balcony. We’re going to do it right.” I flicked on the outdoor fireplace and waited as the flame sprang to life, then grabbed the nearest blanket and tucked Corinne into the flannel, wrapping her tight like a burrito.
She sat with a happy sigh and grinned up at me. “Why do you have so many blankets? I thought guys didn’t really, you know, get into throws and decorative stuff like that.” She snuggled deeper against the cushions before sticking a hand out to snatch a second blanket and layer it over herself.
Seeing her face lit with happiness warmed me, and I took one of the throws for myself and settled in beside her.
“Well, to me, they’re sort of sentimental. When my mom was home, she had one specific fake-fur blanket she always used, even in the summertime. It was like her comfort object. When she was stressed, she’d sit on the couch and burrow in. It always seemed to help. Sometimes, when we’d had a rough day, she would lift the corner up in an invitation to climb in next to her. Brings back some rare good memories.”
“That’s sweet,” Corinne murmured.
I nodded. “Hers wore out, got all patchy and full of holes before she finally got rid of it. I got her a new one for Christmas a few years later, and she cried.” I let out a little chuckle, remembering the way she’d hugged the blanket close to her before kissing my forehead.
Mom wasn’t perfect. Far from it, but who was? She was a good woman deep down, and in a very bad situation. It had taken me years to come to terms with that.
“Anyway,” I said, shaking myself of the memory, “I keep them around because I like to have little reminders of what life was like back then. It keeps me from taking the here and now for granted.”
“It must have been hard. Growing up like that.”
Corinne said the words simply enough, but I could feel the weight of her gaze as she surveyed me from beneath her thick lashes.
I nodded. “It was.” There was no point in sugarcoating it. I wanted to know her, and in turn, I wanted her to know me. “There are a lot of things I wish I could change. But in some ways, it’s helped me learn what’s important. What I want for my life.”
She turned to face me now, her face washed in the flickering orange firelight. “And what is it that you want?”
“You don’t already know the answer?” I raised my eyebrows as she shook her head.
“I want love,” I said, shrugging. “Balls to the wall, totally uninhibited love. I want all of it. I think you do too, even if you won’t admit it.”
She stared at me for a long moment as my heart thudded in my chest. This wasn’t part of our agreement; I knew that. Just like I knew she could get up and walk out the door at any moment.
But I was through being careful. I’d handed my heart over more than once because I wanted to believe I’d been in that kind of love. No fucking way was I going to hold back now that I’d actually found it. Not anymore.
The breath was suspended in my lungs as I waited to see if she would run. But she sat there regarding me, her expressive eyes filled with fear mixed with something else, and it made my heart thrum.
“I know that wasn’t our arrangement.” I pressed on, my heartbeat thundering in my ears. “But I want you to know where I stand. I want all of you, Corinne.”
Slowly, she wet her lips with the tip of her tongue, a sadness shadowing her face.
“I can’t give that to you, and someday I’ll explain why. But . . .” Her voice quavered and she started again. “But I want to. Does that count for anything, Cooper? I want to so badly.”
I hadn’t scaled her walls yet, but damn it, I’d knocked them down a few stories. For now, I’d take it.
The time for talking was done. I needed to claim her, to take her to my bed and show her what she meant to me. Taking her by the hand, I led her inside. Wordlessly, she followed me to my bedroom.
In the pale moonlight streaming through the windows, we fell onto the bed together, kissing and groping. My cock rutted uselessly against her belly until she finally drew it out, stroking me with her delicate hands.
“That feels so nice, sweetheart.” I peppered her lush mouth with kisses as she stroked me.
Pushing my fingers under the elastic of her panties, I brought her to orgasm while we kissed.
By then, my cock was so hard and achy, I couldn’t wait any longer.
“Come here, baby.” I urged Corinne into my lap.
She smiled shyly and leaned down to kiss me, her mouth moving from my lips down to my neck. The thought of fucking her from behind had been on my mind since I first caught sight of all her luscious curves.
“Turn around.”
I wanted to push her, wanted to continue to watch her grow and blossom under my instruction. And so far, we’d only made love in the missionary position. It was time to change things up.
Corinne hesitated for a moment, but then she moved to straddle me.
I shook my head. “Facing my feet.”
The technical term was reverse cowgirl, but I had a feeling that might scare her off. I was sure that despite her growing confidence in the bedroom, those words might conjure images of a cowgirl riding a rodeo bull, and I wanted her to feel relaxed, not under the spotlight, like she was expected to perform for me. And truly, she wasn’t. She could have laid like a log under me during sex and it still would have been amazing, but this was about growth, about pushing her ever so subtly outside her comfort zone.
She paused, kneeling beside me on the bed. “I—I won’t know what I’m doing.”
I touched her shoulder. “That’s my job to worry about. I’ll show you what I like, what will feel good for both of us.”
“I don’t know.”
If it weren’t for the spark of curiosity in her eyes, I wouldn’t have pushed for this at all. I would have just let it drop and gone back to missionary, which we both enjoyed. Immensely.
“It’s a shame to be blessed with an ass like that and not let me see you work it.” My voice was gruff, raw, but it was the challenge in my words that must have undone her resolve.
Corinne smiled and climbed into my lap, facing away from me like I’d instructed. “Show me how to make you lose your mind, Cooper,” she whispered, her voice low and sultry.
My cock jumped as it made contact with the lush curves of her ass. “Gladly, dove.”
