by P. K. Tyler
He returned his gaze to Zeph in his arms but instead of Zeph’s dark and handsome face, a corpse come to life greeted him. Zeph’s eyes were blacker than the darkest night, all hint of his earthy green irises gone. His smile mocking, full of malice, more of a sneer.
Nik dropped Zeph, but the priest twisted like a cat and landed in a crouch. He slammed a shoulder into Nik’s stomach, throwing him against the subway wall before he could blink.
Nik woke with a start. The train stopped with a jerk. He’d meant to transfer to an F-Train and head toward Brooklyn, but when he looked outside the car, he’d ended up in the financial district. He missed his station. Damn. Nik disembarked and made his way through the tunnel to the up-town track. This time, there was no way in hell he’d fall asleep again.
He pulled out his cell phone and called Zeph. He’d meant to call right after he met with Vai, like he promised. Better late than never, he dialed the number and waited. Zeph picked up on the fourth ring, totally out of character. Usually, Zeph seemed to have a sixth sense about when Nik called and answered before the first ring even finished.
“Hello?” Music pounded in the background as Nik strained to hear Zeph’s voice.
“Hey. It’s me. How’s things at the church?”
“Everything’s fine, Nikolai.”
Nik’s eye twitched at the sound of Zeph’s voice. It was low and husky. He longed to hear his voice like that, whispering secrets in his ear. “I was on my way home to get some rest, but I just wanted to check in. Is Adel still there?”
A brief pause where Nik could swear he heard the murmurs of male voices, and then, “She’s sleeping All is well.”
“Maybe I should come by.”
“No, don’t come,” Zeph almost shouted into the phone. “We’re both fine.”
It made him feel completely ridiculous, but Nik couldn’t help the pang of jealousy that stabbed him in the gut. He wondered if someone else was there or if Zeph had gone out somewhere, but couldn’t figure out how to ask without sounding like a complete ass. Zeph’s abruptness rubbed him wrong as did the fact that he didn’t seem even the slightest bit curious about what Vai said. That and the blaring music in the background. “Well, okay, I’m gonna go home and clean up. I can come by the church tomorrow morning and fill you in on the plan if you want.”
“Sounds good. See you tomorrow.” Zeph didn’t wait for an answer, he hung up.
Nik lowered the phone and stared at it, now nearly convinced there had been an alien invasion. It wasn’t like Zeph to be nonchalant about this kind of thing. Nik had expected to get into an argument about not going back to the church to give Zeph the blow-by-blow of his conversations with Father Losado and Vai. Normally, Zeph would want to know everything from what kind of shoes she’d worn to the inflection in her voice.
He couldn’t help but think Zeph had someone else with him. Why else would he have been so abrupt and vague? And the music in the background, it sounded like what they played at clubs, the kind of place where Zeph would never go. He felt like a jealous girlfriend, angry and annoyed that Zeph might be out with someone other than him.
Frustrated, Nik decided to hit up Fubar instead of going straight home. All these thoughts about Zeph with someone else had him keyed up and he could use a distraction.
He hated feeling like he was somehow betraying Zeph when he went out. He’d never managed to have a real boyfriend, or even someone he bothered with for more than a few nights. His thoughts always returned to Zeph. But he wasn’t the one who had chosen a life of celibacy, so, for tonight anyway, he wasn’t going to feel bad about needing a little human comfort.
After hearing Zeph’s deep, raspy voice sounding like he was getting ready to fuck someone else, Nik was horny as hell.
Chapter Ten
Nik nursed a half-pitched tent as he made his way to his favorite nightclub.
He moved inside, past the press of grinding bodies, and found a seat at the bar overlooking the dance floor.
A stacked guy with thin hips and a dark shadow of hair across his chest caught his attention almost immediately. Nik licked his lips. Fuck if this man wasn’t exactly his type. To further the masturbatory fantasy he wore a black collar atop his shirt. A black collar with one square of white showing in the front. Like a priest. Like, Zeph.
Nik watched as his fantasy priest gripped the hips of the man he danced with and bent his knees to grind hard against his ass. Nik lost his breath and nausea welled up in his gut. Not the kind he felt after a possession, no, this was the kind that ate away at his heart from the inside out. Love turned sour, septic. It rotted in the pit of his stomach as he watched Zeph-a-like run a hand down the man’s bare back in a possessive caress.
A jealous fury swallowed up his pain. His heart wasn’t going to break like this. He’d accepted it when Zeph told them they couldn’t be together. He’d taken that news and regretted it every day since, telling himself that if he’d fought harder he’d have the man of his dreams. Tonight, Nik was going to fucking fight for what was, by all accounts, his. If Zeph was going to be with anyone, it was going to be him.
He left the bar and made his way across the room, undecided exactly on what he would do. He was torn between wanting to hit Zeph right in his stupid fucking face and wanted to give in and take him, right there in front of everyone, like he’d been longing to do for years.
The night they’d gotten caught remained unfinished. It hung in the air between them like a breath inhaled but never released. He’d held Zeph’s trembling body as he came, but then they’d been ripped apart.
Something nagged Nik about Zeph being here, a feeling that something was off. It just wasn’t like the priest, if he was going to break all those years of self-denial, his first discretion wouldn’t be at a public club. Why was he here? His thoughts burned into insignificance and Nik’s rage flared at the sight of Zeph turning the man around in his arms and leaning in for a kiss.
Before he could think, before Zeph even realized he was there, Nik charged toward the couple and pulled him off the guy. He shoved him toward the curtains lining the walls.
“What the…” Zeph’s voice caught as he recognized who had assaulted him.
Nik couldn’t be sure in the dim lighting of the club, but he would have sworn Zeph winked at him. That fucking fucker. He kept pushing until Zeph stumbled through an opening in the curtain and into a small room, furnished with nothing but a loveseat.
Nik pushed Zeph once more and he fell back onto the small sofa. Zeph quirked his lips in a sly smile and Nik balled his hands up into fists, doing everything he could not to just shove his cock right into the bastard’s smug mouth. As Nik stared, unable to believe what he saw, Zeph raised his hands and laced his fingers behind his head, reclining back like he was enjoying himself. His shirt hung open, accentuating the cut of each abdominal muscle and the sharp hipbone showing above the black slacks.
Nik lurched forward and straddled the priest, one knee to either side of his legs. “What the fuck are you doing here?”
“Same as you, I’d imagine.” Zeph’s hands remained calmly linked behind his head.
All those years he’d been kept at arm’s length because of Zeph’s stupid vows, and here he was, about to hook up with a stranger?
“Is that what you want, a fuck in a back room with no names?” Nik spat the words and reached between them to grab at Zeph’s crotch. When he found him hard, Nik’s mind stopped working and he stopped thinking about all the reasons not to. He squeezed Zeph’s cock and leaned forward so their lips almost touched. Fuck if he was going to kiss him though. That would mean something. And Nik was too pissed off to do anything other than hurt.
Nik unzipped Zeph’s pants and shuddered at the feeling of Zeph’s skin in his hand again. It had been so long. Pleasure wound itself around him and his cock grew so hard it hurt, but it wasn’t the same. Even so many years later, he remembered how euphoric touching Zeph had felt, how much passion had shown in his lover’s eyes when he came.
Something was wrong, but Nik was way past caring.
He shoved Zeph’s pants down below his ass so his full erection bobbed in the air between them. Nik wrapped his fingers around the cock of his best friend and Zeph moaned, his eyes darkening with lust.
It was like Zeph was taunting him, challenging him to give in to exactly what he wanted. He laid there before Nik like a willing participant, but this wasn’t what Nik wanted. He wanted to feel the joy he remembered from their first kiss. He wanted to know that Zeph needed him, loved him, that he felt the same way Nik did. He wanted to come, wrapped in his lover’s arms, sweaty and screaming. But this wasn’t that, this had nothing to do with the love between them.
Zeph spoke, his voice dark and thick with lust. “What are you waiting for, Nikolai?”
The words chilled Nik to the core. Zeph wouldn’t do this. Nik met his eyes for the first time and really searched their depths for something, anything, that would help him understand what was going on.
He wasn’t possessed, Nik knew that, but something felt wrong. The irrational anger he felt wasn’t unlike the power that flowed through his veins when fighting a demon, but this was different. Nik studied Zeph’s face for some sign of the love that he knew existed between them, but even as he gripped his cock and stroked, all he felt was cold.
Zeph’s features softened and he blinked at Nik as if trying to figure out where he was. His entire body relaxed and his posture completely changed from one of challenge to one of confusion. Whatever had overcome him left without an exorcism or physical manifestation.
Shit, this is bad.
Zeph’s softened green eyes cast down and stared at his cock, still in Nik’s hand.
“What are you-” Zeph scooted away from Nik’s touch and a strangled sob broke from his beautiful lips. Zeph lowered his arms to cover himself, his fingertips grazing Nik’s thighs on the way down.
He was sure it had been an accident, but Nik felt it even through his jeans. Now that it was really Zeph with him, the simple touch blazed a trail of longing along his skin. When Zeph looked up at him, miserable and lost, Nik’s heart broke into a thousand pieces.
Everything Nik had just participated in had been done to Zeph, not something he wanted. Nik had very nearly finished the complete destruction of this man he loved more than anyone else in the world.
He wanted to pull Zeph close to him, wrap him in a warm embrace, but he didn’t know if that would make things better or worse. Especially with his own, still hard cock begging for release and Zeph’s exposed erection.
“What happened to you, Zeph? What the hell is going on?”
Nik climbed off Zeph’s lap and backed away, hands held up to show he presented no threat. Would Zeph remember what happened or would he think Nik had taken advantage of him somehow? He turned around so his friend could pull his pants up with some privacy.
Heat still burned inside him and the desire to touch Zeph blazed stronger than ever. The distance between them caused Nik actual, physical pain, and the memory of the soft skin in his hand almost broke his resolve. If he was ever going to be the responsible one between them, it had to be now. So, he fought the urge to reach out and gather the broken man up in his arms and kiss away all the pain.
Zeph’s eyes, in that moment when whatever had possessed him left his body, had been full of shame and abject misery. Nik felt responsible. Instead of knowing something was wrong, and he damn well should have, he assumed the worst of his best friend.
Worse, he was quick to want to punish him for it.
Everything he’d felt for Zeph all those years had turned into a seething monster; a jealous, hateful thing, the opposite of love. He wouldn’t blame Zeph if he never wanted to see him again.
Zeph cleared his throat and Nik wiped at his eyes before turning around. His friend had always been patient and kind, but he’d pushed too far this time. He swore he’d never behave so abhorrently again, but he knew it wasn’t true. Nik would take any chance offered to be with Zeph and damn the consequences.
Zeph stood awkwardly in front of the small couch, his shirt buttoned all the way up to his neck. He didn’t meet Nik’s eyes as he spoke. “We should go back to the church and regroup. I think I understand what’s going on, but I need to talk to Adel.”
Nik desperately wanted to ask what had happened. Did Zeph completely hate him? Did he even remember what had happened between them? He needed to know how Zeph felt but for right now, it wasn’t about him, and if Zeph was willing to even talk to him it was more than he figured he deserved. He’d wait and listen and do everything he can think of to fix what had broken between them tonight.
Zeph didn’t wait for any kind of acknowledgment. He just walked out of the room, and Nik followed.
Chapter Eleven
When Nik and Zeph arrived at the church, Adel was still there, laying on the sofa with a washcloth draped across her forehead. Her body stiffened when they walked in, but she didn’t remove the rag or open her eyes. “Zeph, we need to talk.”
Flashes of what happened, in this very room, sent a wave of nausea through Zeph’s body. He said a silent prayer of gratitude to whatever stopped them.
Adel opened her eyes a crack and pushed herself up. She shot a look at Nik, avoiding Zeph’s eyes completely. When Zeph approached the sofa to sit next to her, she stiffened and cringed.
With a wince, he backed away from her and pulled out his office chair.
Nik looked between the two of them and rolled his eyes. “Well, you two are being weird as shit, so clearly I’m not the only one who’s had some kind of fucking insane night.”
Zeph sighed and sat in the office chair, leaning forward so his elbows sat on his thighs. “Could you at least pretend to remember that we’re in a church?”
“Could you at least pretend to remember you’re a priest?” Nik shot back.
Zeph recoiled from the barb. It wasn’t that he didn’t deserve it. He felt physically ill and mortified by his behavior. God forgive him for everything he’d done.
“Don’t you start that. I can see you praying in your head. Don’t you dare hide after whatever the fuck is going on here.” Nik shook as he spoke and Zeph knew he must be in so much pain. It was his fault, he’d done this to them.
“I don’t know what happened between you two, but I know I wasn’t… I wasn’t me earlier, I wasn’t in my right mind.” Adel said, keeping her eyes on the carpet. Her skin glistened with sweat.
“I know.” Zeph finally said, looking up at Nik. “I think Adel and I were possessed.”
“Possessed? No. No way. First of all, priests can’t be possessed, and even if you could, I would have known it as soon as I saw you.” Nik protested, but doubt tinged his words. “I would have noticed. I would never have...” he whispered.
“I know, Nik. This was different. Normally, demons can’t get anywhere near me.” Zeph tapped the collar still around his neck. “My soul’s supposed to be off limits. But if we’ve learned anything lately, it’s that evil isn’t following the rules anymore. Earlier, it was like I was trapped in a dream. I could see and feel everything, but I wasn’t in control of my body.”
Nik and Adel made simultaneous groans.
“Look, none of us did anything wrong.”
Two more groans from two red faces.
“Will you listen to me?” Zeph stood up and eyed them both down. “Adel, I know you weren’t you earlier. You seemed weird and then…well, I felt it too. It was like I was there, but I wasn’t. Something took control of us and wanted us to do―that…” He shuffled his feet and looked down at the carpet, shame flooding his cheeks with red.
“What happened?” Nik asked.
“Nothing,” Adel muttered, inspecting the dust on the office floor. She wrapped her arms around her middle and shook her head, back and forth, again and again.
“We aren’t going to get anywhere hiding from it. Besides, I’m the one who looks the worst in all of this.” He turned to Nik and took a deep breath, feeling like an
absolute idiot. “So, ah … Adel and I―were somewhat intimate. Not completely, but...I kinda made out with my sister.”
Nik stared at him with huge eyes for a moment and then burst out laughing.
“I’m serious,” Zeph said, but Nik just kept on laughing as if it were the biggest joke he’d ever heard in his life. “Nik!”
“So you made out with your sister? I’m sorry, there’s just no way that happened. I mean there are like 29 different kinds of ways that’s wrong plus the fact that she has tits. It’s just completely inconceivable.”
“I know. But it wasn't us, Nik. It's like something was guiding our actions. And then later, when I went to the bar and…” Zeph let his words trail off. Funny how he could talk about being possessed and forced into incest, but he couldn’t talk about what happened with Nik. About how it felt to be touched, to be close to him.
“How could we both be possessed?” Adel asked, pulling Zeph’s thoughts back from the ledge. Her voice uncharacteristically soft.
“I don’t know. I don’t have any idea.”
“You weren’t possessed,” Nik insisted, “At least not any kind of normal possession.”
“Then what happened? You tell me. You explain to me what made all this happen.” Zeph gestured between the three of him.
“What I was going to say before you yelled at me was that you weren’t possessed, but there was definitely something off about you. I didn’t notice at first and I should have known that wasn’t you, but anyway... at the end when you came back, your eyes changed, it was like you woke up and then…”
“Jesus, you two speaking in riddles like teenage girls is going to drive me fucking nuts!” Adel spat.
“We’re in a Church!”
Adel rolled her eyes and rose from the sofa. “I don’t know what any of this is. But I do know, I don’t want anything to do with it. I’m done, that's it. You two can run around the city chasing demons and doing exorcisms or hunting werewolves for all I care, but I’m going home to get some rest.” She appeared close to tears.
