His fingers roam my midriff, brushing the swell of my breast as he talks. “Your ribs?”
“I’m good.”
“Good, baby.”
He keeps drawing circles on the skin of my stomach for long minutes and I finally relax into him. Just when I think I’m off the hook and I just might fall asleep, ending this long day, he puts his lips below my ear and surprises me.
“I told you I was a SEAL before I left the Navy to work for Crew.”
My eyes fly open and the rain that was lulling me into a relaxed state just moments ago, now sounds loud and harsh. “I remember.”
“I worked my way up, became a leader on my team. We’d been together a while. When you work twenty-four-seven with a team like that, you have their backs and trust them to have yours. As a result, they become your family.”
I try to turn to him but his hold on me is iron, his hips pressing into my ass to hold me where I am. I realize he’s naked like he always is when we’re in bed and I settle into him farther.
“Our last mission as a team went south. I won’t go into detail because it was ugly and it haunts me. You’ve had to deal with enough shit in your life even before what happened last week, I’ll never lay more on you. But it was as bad as it could be and we lost half our team. Men who’d become my brothers. I knew their wives, their kids, spent time in their homes. One bad day and they were gone. They were my responsibility. I was supposed to have their backs and make sure they came home. I failed my family.”
This time I don’t let him stop me. I pull his hand away and shift, rolling in his arms until we’re face to face. His dark hair is drying in a beautiful mess of waves and his eyes are black from the darkened room. And even though we’re halfway around the world from where we were when we woke up this morning, it almost feels the same when he drags his hand down my back, to my ass, and hitches my knee up and over his hip where I discover I was right—he’s very much naked.
“I’m sure it wasn’t your fault.” I have no idea if it’s true or not but I have to say it. Because just like with me, I don’t want him to shoulder that burden.
“Fault and responsibility are two very different things, Gracie, and I take my responsibilities very fucking seriously.”
I can’t argue. He has a point but I’m not going to admit it because I don’t like where he’s going with this. But he’s finally telling me something about himself. As much as I want to stop him, I’m selfish and want to know everything, so I keep quiet.
“I still don’t know why you were so damn set on making me into a memory—I’ll figure that out eventually. But the second you told me who you were and left me standing almost naked and completely stunned in the doorway to Crew’s compound, I made the decision to chase you. That single decision made you my responsibility.”
I open my mouth to say something but he shuts me up with a kiss—his lips searing and possessive and, yes, even desperate. Tasting desperation on Noah Jarvis is new and unfamiliar. During the times we’ve been together, it’s been nothing but lustful hunger and desire, and after he rescued me, his touch came only with tenderness.
He rolls me to my back, pushing my panties down. I kick them off one leg and they’re still tangled on the other ankle when I willingly part my legs for him because this is different. Every muscle in his body hovers over me, taut and heavy with burdens I want to take from him.
I pull his mouth to mine and I feel him on my thigh, long and erect, as solid as the rest of him. As much as I’ve needed him in the last week, right now, he needs me.
When I thrust my tongue in his mouth, wanting to take it all from him, he sinks into me, taking me like he has every other time, but this is different. I feel it in every recess of my heart. Even though we’re as close as two humans can be, this is more.
He pulls out and presses back in, murmuring against my lips, “I’ll never let anything happen to you again. I swear it. My guard will never come down when it comes to you.”
I wrap my legs around his waist and press my feet into his rock-hard ass, holding him to me. “Noah.”
“Fucking never,” he reiterates. “I’ll never stop.”
I should argue. I should make him agree to let himself off the hook. Take away the guilt that’s plaguing him because I can’t handle him blaming himself over me.
But I don’t.
Because the thought of being his responsibility warms me in ways I’ve never felt—being his when I’ve never been anyone’s.
His movements are slow and painstakingly disciplined as his eyes burn into mine and it hits me. For the first time since we’ve been together, he’s making love to me. Every stroke is a promise that settles into my soul. I don’t try to stop it and I don’t argue because I want it all.
And more than anything, I want to be his.
I beg him for more because it’s building—I feel it low in my stomach and need him to move. “Harder, please.”
He shakes his head and kisses me, torturing me, leaving me teetering on the cliff. I try to move but he slides his thick arm under me, gripping my ass, holding me where he wants me.
I can’t even return his kiss because I’m searching for a breath. He looks down at me as he gives me his weight where I need it most, grinding his hips into me, hitting my clit and reaching all the places inside that matter.
When I finally slip over the edge, my orgasm takes over. I feel it in every nerve ending, all the way down to my toes. Gasping, I say something unintelligible even to my own ears, seeing nothing but bright lights and Noah Jarvis.
I guess he can only take the torture for so long, too, because he moves ruthlessly, all his desperation shining through. Watching him take me like this, with everything he has, is beautiful and something I’ll never forget. Something I hope I can return in every way.
When he finally comes, he groans, and I feel it inside and out. He doesn’t give me his weight though, he rolls without losing our connection, taking me with him. I lie on his chest straddling him, spent and relaxed, knowing without a doubt, I’ll be able to sleep.
His heartbeat settles, slowing as it strums to a normal pace in my ear. He runs his hands up my back and kisses the top of my head. “It’s not black and white. It’s as gray as the storm swirling out there. I’m responsible and you need to be okay with that. If I felt any other way, then you should run because no man like that deserves you.”
I nod and press my lips to his pec.
“And just to finish my story, Gracie, I left the Navy because my head was fucked up after what happened to my team. I couldn’t take being responsible for anyone else—I had to work alone. When Grady came to me with an offer, I didn’t look back. CIA cleared me from my commitment with the Navy—it was my way out and I needed it. But I had to work through it and that didn’t happen fast. You were taken because you were seen with me. You can spin it however you want—I didn’t hurt you but what happened is my responsibility.”
I lift my head to look up at him and slide off his cock so I can reach his mouth. After I kiss him, I whisper, “Okay.”
“Okay?” he frowns. “That easy?”
“I want all the memories with you, Noah Jarvis. Soul-reaching and life-changing memories. I’m desperate for them.”
We’ve been through a lot in a very short time and the thought of walking away from him to go back to whatever normal I had before we met is painful. Right now, I see all my feelings mirrored back at me. I’ll never forget this moment.
He leans up to seal the passion and emotion passing between us. I don’t even need words because I can feel it down to my bones.
We stay like this, his heartbeat lulling me to sleep where I’m lying on his chest, his hands resting on my ass, and him leaking out of me. My eyes are closed and I’m drifting off. His tone is heavy and raspy with exhaustion from our day. “Don’t keep anything from me ever again, baby.”
My eyes fly open but I don’t answer. Shit.
All of a sudden, I’m not tired at all.
&
nbsp; Chapter 26
My World Shifted
Jarvis
I roll away from her to reach over to the nightstand. She tossed and turned, more restless than I thought she’d be. I’m used to time changes and can sleep or stay awake whenever I need to, but she’s not. The jet lag is screwing with her system and she finally fell asleep a couple of hours ago.
When I pick up my phone and read the message that just came through, I have no problem waking up.
Crew – Get your ass to the main barn. Gracie will be fine. I’ll send Wyatt to sit outside so you and Grady don’t lose your minds.
I don’t answer and roll back into Gracie who’s still in her tee but didn’t bother to put her panties back on. I kiss her temple next to her fading black eye and whisper, “I’ve got to meet Crew next door. He’s sending a recruit to sit outside, you’ll be fine. I’ll be back before you wake up.”
Her lashes flutter and I see nothing but tired blue eyes. “What’s wrong?”
I tell her the truth, because from now on, I’m not hiding anything from her. She knows enough that she needs to know it all, even though right now there’s not much to tell. “I don’t know. I’ll be at the barn. Stay put and don’t leave.”
She rolls into me and kisses the underside of my jaw before her eyes close again. “Hmm-kay. Lemme know.”
Even though I have no fucking clue what’s waiting for me at the barn, I can’t help but smile. “Sure, Lover. I’ll let you know.”
I’m dressed and out the door in under two minutes. I pass Wyatt as I’m pulling out of the vineyard property and roll my window down. “She’s locked in and asleep. You can sit outside.”
Wyatt is not that new and has been training for a couple months. He’ll be ready to go long before the rest of us were because he came in speaking four languages. He lifts his chin and stifles a yawn. “No problem, man.”
It stopped storming but the rain is still coming down, making the gravel road to the barn a trail of muck. Ducking through the rain, I hear the men before I see them and pick up the pace.
“You can’t make me do shit.”
“The longer you sit there, you’ll change your mind about that. We are not a patient group of men tonight and no one is leaving this barn until we get the information we need,” Crew threatens.
Ozzie is standing to the side, his stance wide and his arms crossed. I only see Crew, Grady, and Asa from the back. “What the hell’s going on?”
When they turn to look at me, it’s like the parting of the Red Sea. For the first time, I see him in the flesh.
Calvin Prosk.
The journalist who has created havoc for me has blood all over his shirt and smeared across his face. It’s just now drying at his nose and black eyes must be the latest trend, because he’s sporting one to match mine and Gracie’s.
But if I didn’t know better, I’d think he’d just seen a ghost when our eyes meet. His expression turns from one of frustration mixed with anger and fear to nothing but pure and utter astonishment.
What the hell?
“Got your guy. It was a piece of cake—he was coming out of a bar in Georgetown. I just had to hang out all night and wait for him to walk to his car. Checked his DL, too.” Ozzie explains.
But I hardly hear anything and ignore Ozzie as I watch Prosk become alert in a way I like just about as much as I would a prostate exam. Prosk lifts his chin. “Jarvis? Noah Jarvis?”
No one confirms this and I look to Crew and ask, “What do you know?”
“Nothing.” He throws a glance to the man sitting tied to a chair. “We were just getting started.”
Prosk isn’t paying attention to anyone but me—not just staring, but I swear if his eyes were lasers, they’d chisel a hole through me as he seems to be talking to himself. “The only pictures I could find of you were from the Academy over ten years ago. You’ve changed but I could still pick you out of a lineup if I had to.”
Fuck.
Instead of giving him the satisfaction of speaking to him, I ask, “He’s bleeding. Who started without me?”
“Sorry. He put up a bit of a fight before I could get him restrained.” Ozzie actually sounds remorseful and I’m not sure what to do with that.
“The eye was me,” Asa adds and looks back at Prosk. “If you ever see me roaming this earth again, you’d better high-tail your ass the other way without so much as a glance. Got it?”
Fair enough. Asa was with Saylor when this guy approached them. I don’t blame him for not wanting to interact with strangers around her. That girl could talk the head off of a chicken without giving it extra effort—she knows no strangers.
I glance at Grady. “You haven’t gotten a shot in yet?”
Prosk doesn’t answer Asa or flinch at my comment to Grady. His intense eyes never move from me.
Grady shakes his head. “If I start, I won’t stop and I need information before I kill him.”
That gets his attention. His mangled gaze darts to my friend who, if I have anything to say about it, will be my brother-in-law sooner rather than later. I decided this while I was waiting for Gracie to fall asleep in my arms. I even started to make a list of shit I need to think about eventually.
I need to get this taken care of with Prosk, make sure the other guy who actually touched Gracie dies a brutal and painful death, get her to quit her job and move here, figure out how I can work less so I can be with her more, and find some property close by where I can build a house and still have enough room for a massive garage.
Lots of shit to do.
But this guy is at the top of that list.
His eyes never waver as I approach, walking through my friends and stopping in front of him.
He’s bigger than he looked in any of his pictures online—probably just shy of six feet. He’s no gym rat but not a slouch either. His eyes aren’t dark or light in the muted, old lights of the barn and his hair is clipped short, looking like he keeps every perfect strand in line, as opposed to me, who’s enjoyed not giving a fuck since I got out of the Navy.
“You’ve proven to be a pain in my ass.” I nudge his feet that are taped together at the ankles as he sits in an old office chair. “Where should we start, huh?”
He swallows over the speed bump in his throat and I can even hear his breath pick up its pace.
“You see, there’s this other guy—he’s an even bigger asshole than you. He’s all over the place … Washington, DC,” I kick his feet harder this time and he spins in a circle, “and fucking Istanbul, of all places.” I spin him again. “He’s bald.” Another revolution, this time faster and he almost topples sideways but I put a firm hand to his shoulder to steady him. “And Irish. But do you know what really gets me?”
His chest is rising and falling double-time, and I wouldn’t be surprised if all the blood in his body hasn’t risen to his face, he’s so red.
I shrug a shoulder. “He knows you. And that asshole did all kinds of assholeish things because you were the one who pointed him in my direction.”
I swear, he starts to tremble.
“You have two choices, Calvin. You can tell us what you know about this guy on your own and we can move on from there, or we can torture it out of you. Either way, you’re going to tell us if you ever want to see the outside of this barn again.”
He shakes his head in minute movements and stumbles over his words. “I … I don’t know much. Not enough to tell you anything.”
Even though I don’t give it my all, my fist connects with the side of his face before he could get the last word out. “Wrong answer. Try again.”
He stutters and coughs, trying to stay upright in his chair. “I mean it, I don’t know—”
This time I backhand him from the other side. No reason not to spread the love around. “Nope. That’s not it either.”
“Fuck,” he hisses.
“I’m doing my best to be chill with you, but I’ve got to be honest, I am one pissed-off motherfucker right now. You want me to l
ose my shit? I will. Then, you see this guy?” I point to Grady who cracks his knuckles. “He shares my beef. I’m surprised he’s allowed us to chat this long because if I’m a pissed-off motherfucker, he’s a scary-ass motherfucker. You might just get us both if you don’t start telling us everything you know about the Irish asshole—”
“Aengus O'Dowd,” he spurts, practically spitting out the name, dripping in fear. “He goes by Gus.”
Shit. The O’Dowd’s. How did that happen?
“Fuck,” Crew hisses and takes two steps back as he pulls out his phone.
“How do you know him?” I demand.
Prosk hisses out a breath but doesn’t answer and I fucking lose it.
I grab him by his shirt above where his arms are duct taped to his sides and literally shake the piss out of him, growling in his face so loud it echoes off the walls of this enormous barn. “How the fuck do you know him?!”
“I-I …” I give him one more shake. “I traced your flight plan to Ireland a couple months back and started making some calls. Someone pointed me to him and he wanted to know as much about you as I did. I told him what I knew because I wanted his help. Then he actually made a trip to the US. I swear, he scared the shit out of me, I got out of there, and have been watching my back ever since.”
I throw him back toward his chair and he falls to the ground on his side where I hear him groan. Grady walks up beside me and reaches down to roll the guy to his back, demanding his attention. “That doesn’t explain your interest in Jarvis or how you know him.”
Prosk shakes his head as I hear Crew say from behind me, “I’ve got a location on O’Dowd. He’s in Dublin. His passport checked into the country three days ago. I’m working on an eyewitness to confirm.”
“Shit, it would’ve taken me days to figure that out but at least he isn’t here.” Prosk almost sighs a breath of relief.
“You look pretty relieved for someone still lying there taped up after you just pissed your pants. Don’t assume we’re going to let you go yet.” Grady puts a boot to his chest and presses down. “How do you know Jarvis?”
Veils: A Killers Novel, Book 4 Page 22
