Call me Lucy: An Enemies to Lovers romance

by Rania Battany

  ‘You’re not the only one I have. Give me my mum’s number. You must have it.’

  He blew out a mocking laugh, shaking his head. ‘When will you stop wasting your time on her?’

  ‘Never. Now, please give it to me.’

  Tyler took out his phone and sent me her number. I stared at his message containing her details, knowing he was right. Mum hadn’t even realized I’d disappeared.

  Not even Mama Bear had noticed I was missing.

  He really was all I had.

  But I could never return to him.

  ‘It doesn’t matter that you’re all I have. I left because I didn’t want the life we had anymore. What made you think I’d ever go back to you?’

  His lips tightened into a thin line. ‘Because you’re mine, Meg. You promised me that, and I’m not going to let you go.’

  Promised?

  I remembered the ring in my back pocket and pulled it out. In the bright spring sun, the ring glistened. I twirled it in my fingers, seeing the tiny letters inscribed inside.

  T M

  Tyler. Meg.

  He’d bought the ring for me. Inscribed it for me. Had given it to me, making me promise I’d be his forever. Told me he wanted people to know I was his.

  I didn’t want it then, and I didn’t want it now.

  I held it out for him to take. ‘This was not a promise. This was your last attempt to keep me. But I was gone long before I left.’

  Tyler wouldn’t take it. ‘That’s your ring, not mine. You’re mine.’

  ‘I’m not yours, Tyler.’

  He narrowed his eyes at me and stepped closer, his lips rising into a smug smile. ‘Have you fucked him, Meg?’

  Thump.Thump.Thump.Thump.

  ‘I don’t need to tell you anything,’ I whispered.

  ‘Did you scream for him, Meg? Did you let him see you?’

  His words felt like ice on my skin.

  My lip twitched, and I knew he saw it, knew he could feel how fiercely my heart pounded.

  He smirked, his gaze slicing mine. ‘Of course you didn’t let him see you. Look at you. You’re so thin, just fucking bones. No tits. What are you thinking, Meg? Don’t you know he’ll get bored with you? No guy will stick around for long, not if they can’t ever see you. But I stuck around, Meg.’

  I couldn’t catch my breath. I couldn’t stop my shoulders from curling inwards. I crumbled every time he said my name like that. M.E.G. Pronouncing every damn letter.

  ‘And does he know about your mum, Meg? Does he know how pathetic your story really is? About the homes? About how you hid everywhere you went? I know everything there is to know about you, and still, I chose to stay. You see, Meg? No one will ever love you like I do.’

  I forced myself to meet his gaze. ‘You don’t love me, Tyler. You were just scared of being alone, so you found someone to disappear with.’

  The look in his eyes hardened. He stepped back, but I reached for his hand. Peeling open his closed fist, I dropped the ring in the center of his palm.

  ‘But I don’t want to disappear with you anymore.’

  My name is Meg.

  Billy wasn’t home when I got back to his apartment. I sat on my bed, the door closed, staring at my blank drawing pad.

  My name is Meg.

  I reached for my phone and studied the blank screen before dialing her number, trying to steady my breath with every ring.

  My name is Meg.

  ‘Hello?’

  I swallowed. ‘Hey, Mum.’

  She released a pleased sigh. ‘Hey, Baby Bear. How are you, my darling?’ From the way her words slurred, I knew she was out of it.

  For a career alcoholic, she wasn’t very functional.

  ‘I’ve been all right. You?’

  Telling her lies was easier than revealing the truth. She wouldn’t have remembered either way.

  ‘Oh, you know. I could really use some milk. Would you mind popping past this afternoon and dropping some off?’

  My heart sank, and I shut my eyes. I’d been gone for nearly two months, and she was asking for milk. Why was I surprised? Why was I even hurt by that?

  ‘I’m in Sydney, Mum.’

  ‘Sydney! Oh, Baby Bear, you hate crowded places. What are you doing all the way down there?’

  I heard a lighter click, then heard her suck deeply on a cigarette.

  ‘I came for a holiday.’

  She laughed, which turned into a full-blown coughing fit. ‘Well, hurry home. I’d like to see you. You know how much I love you.’

  I knew how much she loved me, even if she hadn’t noticed I’d stopped dropping into her place to tidy and stock her fridge for two months.

  ‘I’ll call you, okay.’

  She inhaled a lungful of smoke. ‘Okay, my darling. Love you.’

  ‘Love you, Mama Bear.’

  My name is Meg.

  It was all I could think, over and over and over again. My name was Meg. I was twenty-two. Up until a couple of months ago, I’d lived with Tyler. He sold records. He was really good at it—it was a niche market, and he knew how to use that to make a lot of money. So much, in fact, I’d become his unofficial bookkeeper. His accountant. His housemaid.

  His.

  I stared at my left wrist, gliding my fingers over each scar, and exhaled with relief. I hadn’t done this to myself.

  The storyboard of my life began taking shape, a gigantic jigsaw with thousands of missing pieces. I pictured snippets of a larger image—my life with Bear, how I’d met Tyler. And as the image became clearer, the hole in my heart grew bigger. Deep down, I’d always known there had to be a reason why I’d lost my memory. And now, I finally knew with certainty.

  It was a life worth forgetting.

  It was a past that needed to be forgotten.

  Now, I was no longer Lucy. But I didn’t want to be Meg.

  I heard the front door open and close. I heard Billy’s footsteps cut across the living room to the kitchen. I waited, thinking he would knock on my door to see me. But he didn’t.

  Afternoon faded into evening. I sat on my bed, my blank drawing pad still resting on my lap. Earlier, I’d heard Billy pottering around the apartment, but now, it was completely quiet.

  It was close to ten p.m., and he still hadn’t come in to see me.

  My name is Meg.

  I repeated my name over and over in my head, practicing how to tell him, preparing to reveal my identity. At close to eleven p.m., I slipped out of my black jeans and tee and slid into my sleeping tank and a pair of black underwear.

  Then I walked out of my room to his.

  16

  Her

  This time I knocked before barging in.

  ‘Come in.’ Billy’s voice called out softly, and I opened his bedroom door.

  He sat on the edge of his bed in nothing but his boxers, phone in his hand, looking surprised to see me. I walked and stood in front of him, but not so close that he could easily reach out and touch me.

  ‘You didn’t come in to say hi,’ I said.

  Billy placed his phone down. ‘I thought you were still out with Tyler.’

  ‘I’ve been here for hours. I was in my room when you got home.’

  Relief flickered in his beautiful brown eyes, and he locked his gaze with mine. My pulse raced. I was going to tell him—I’d recited it enough times.

  My name is Meg. My name is Meg. My name is Meg.

  But there was something I needed to do first.

  Thump.Thump.Thump.Thump.

  Grabbing the bottom of my tank top, I pulled it over my head and threw it to the ground so I was in nothing but my black underwear. Billy’s eyes dropped to my bare breasts. Small, rounded tits. Pink nipples against my pale skin.

  He inhaled deeply, then flicked his gaze to mine.

  ‘This is it,’ I said.

  ‘This is what?’

  ‘This is it. Me.’

  He shook his head, seeming confused, obviously finding it difficult to keep his eyes on mi
ne and not on my boobs. ‘I don’t understand what you’re getting at.’

  Wasn’t he seeing me? My curveless hips and skinny, long legs? My small breasts and skin that looked like it had never been touched by the sun?

  ‘It’s not going to get any better than this,’ I said.

  I saw the exact moment he understood what I was trying to explain.

  Standing, he took the few steps toward me. He cupped my shoulders, straightening them, and gave me a tender kiss. His touch melted the fear that kept my pulse thumping, making my heart drum with a whole different kind of beat.

  ‘It doesn’t need to get better than this. You’re perfect.’

  My lip quivered, making my words drift out with my shaky breath. ‘You don’t need to lie to me.’

  He shook his head, smiling in a way that made his eyes twinkle. ‘You don’t see it, do you? You, Lucy, are just as beautiful as all those people you draw.’

  He walked to the bed, guiding me with him, and sat on the edge, lifting me until I straddled him, and pressed a deep kiss against my lips. His fingers caressed my back in long, gentle strokes that sent goosebumps exploding across my skin.

  His hand edged toward my breast. As he got closer, I tensed, and he pulled away.

  He lowered his voice. ‘Do you want me to stop?’

  I shook my head. That was the last thing I wanted him to do.

  He swung me around to the center of the bed and laid me on my back. I held my breath as his gaze slid over my body, fighting the urge to roll onto my stomach and hide. He planted tender kisses along my neck and collarbone until, finally, he pressed the softest kiss on the top of my breast. Throbbing intensified between my legs, and I was torn between letting him ravish me and wanting to hide.

  I closed my eyes, my body tingling with anticipation.

  His tongue stroked my nipple, and I released a sound I’d never made before as a sensation I couldn’t describe swept over me. I kept my eyes shut as he slowly worked his way around my breast until my entire nipple was in his mouth. He groaned with a pleasure that matched mine, and I opened my eyes, watching as he devoured it, stroking and sucking as if he’d never get enough.

  ‘Oh, God. I’ve dreamt of having your tits in my mouth,’ he breathed out.

  I arched my back, giving him unrestricted access to my breasts, moaning as he worked his mouth down to my stomach and toward my open legs. He slipped his fingers inside the hem of my underwear, trying to pull them off, and I froze.

  He eased off.

  ‘I’ll take care of you, Lucy,’ he whispered in my ear.

  Lucy.

  Here, I was his Lucy. I was someone. I was seen.

  My body weakened with his words, and I allowed him to slip off my underwear. His eyes grew wide as he pulled them away from me.

  The tattoo.

  Fuck. I’d forgotten.

  I waited for him to say it was repulsive, to change his mind about being with me. Instead, he gave me a peculiar smile.

  ‘That must’ve hurt,’ he said.

  I smiled back at him. ‘It hurt like fucking hell.’

  I could say that now I remembered.

  He kissed every curve and line of my tattoo the way I had kissed his until I felt a single stroke of his tongue against my clit. Sucking in a sharp breath, I arched my back, instinctively pushing my pussy into his face.

  He ate me like a starved man, desperate and needy, and my clit throbbed under his tongue. He wrapped his arms under my legs, pushing his face deeper into me, flicking and sucking. I clutched onto the bedsheet. Tingles shot through me, starting from my toes, intensifying in my clit, and I screamed when he finally took me over the edge.

  I’d hardly caught my breath when I saw Billy had a condom on. I’d never wanted anyone inside me the way I wanted him. I began to roll onto my stomach, so he could enter from behind, but he stopped me with a kiss.

  ‘I want to see you, Lucy. When we have sex, I want to see your face.’

  I stared at him, conflicted between craving his touch and fearing something I’d never done before.

  How did I explain it to him? I couldn’t explain it to him. How, even though I’d slept with Tyler a million times, he’d never lain between my naked legs. That no man had.

  ‘It’s just that … I’ve never had the guy on top before.’

  His forehead creased, and I waited for the questions. How could you know that? I thought you’d lost your memory? How can you be sure?

  But the questions didn’t come.

  ‘We don’t have to do this,’ he said softly, his tone matching the tenderness of his kisses. ‘If you tell me to stop, I’ll stop. But if you let me, I’d love to be the first.’

  I swallowed, not realizing how much I wanted the same thing.

  ‘I want you on top of me, Billy.’

  He bit his bottom lip as I opened my legs, inviting him in. He slid inside me, and the growl that came from him made me wild. He started with slow, deliberate thrusts, kissing and caressing me the entire time. Every time I cried out for him, he pushed harder and deeper until I felt every inch of him inside me.

  I clutched on to his back to keep him close, to keep his weight against me, knowing that nothing had ever felt so right. He claimed my lips, demanding my tongue keep up, whispering between each frantic kiss, ‘You feel so good, Lucy. You’re so beautiful, Lucy. You make me crazy, Lucy.’

  Every time he said my name, I cried out louder, kissed him harder, clutched him tighter.

  I lifted my pelvis, and he thrust into me one last time, releasing a primal groan as he came.

  Breathless and sweaty, he remained between my legs. I gazed up at him, surprised to see he was looking down at me. The intensity of his stare sent a new flush of heat through me, and I begged my pulse to steady. He kissed me, our tongues gliding gently over each other.

  His body molded to mine perfectly. We just … fit.

  Eventually, he rolled off. I craved him instantly, and as if understanding, he extended his arm, allowing me to nestle my head on the space above his heart.

  ‘Billy …’ I broke our extended silence.

  ‘Hmm?’

  ‘Were you jealous of Tyler?’

  ‘Like a green-eyed fuckin’ monster.’

  ‘Why?’

  He tilted his head so he could look at me. ‘Do you really need to ask?’

  I turned away, unable to look him in the eyes when I knew the truth.

  Tyler has fucked me a million times before.

  I needed to tell Billy. It didn’t matter how much I didn’t want to—he needed to know.

  I opened my mouth, mumbling his name a second time. ‘Billy …’

  My name is Meg.

  Meg.

  Meg.

  ‘Lucy?’ he said, bringing me back, drawing me into his warm eyes. ‘What’s wrong, Lucy? You keep drifting off.’

  Every time he called me Lucy in his low, raspy voice, my stomach somersaulted, and my will to tell him weakened.

  ‘What if we find out my identity and you don’t like who I am?’

  He brushed a fallen strand of hair off my eye and kissed my forehead. ‘You’d still be you, just with a different name.’

  He held me tighter, and I decided I didn’t want to ruin the moment by becoming Meg.

  I smiled suddenly. ‘Have you really dreamt of having my tits in your mouth?’

  ‘You have no idea,’ he said, trying to hold back a grin.

  ‘They’re so small.’

  ‘They’re perfect.’

  ‘They’re nothing like Gabby’s or Leila’s.’

  His nose scrunched. ‘Leila is my cousin. I don’t want to think of her tits.’

  I laughed, relieved I hadn’t brought up Lillian’s busty chest.

  Oh, God. Lillian.

  My stomach sank. ‘Will Lillian be okay with this?’

  The humor left his eyes. ‘I’ll need to tell her. Just give me a bit of time to think of the best way to do it.’

  ‘I love how much
you care about her.’

  He shrugged it off. ‘She needs a little more love these days.’

  I shuffled up so I could sit against the bedhead. A cheeky grin crept across Billy’s face when he saw my naked body so exposed.

  The way he looked at me—like he had never seen anything so tantalizing in all his life—filled me with a confidence I’d never had.

  He reached for my tattoo and grazed his finger over the outline.

  ‘What’s the story with your dad?’ I asked, killing the moment.

  His jaw clenched. He pulled his hand away from me, and his body stiffened. ‘Nothing else to tell. He left.’

  ‘What happened?’

  He snapped. ‘Why do you wanna know?’

  I jerked back, shocked by his response.

  He palmed his eyes, then inhaled deeply. ‘I’m sorry, Lucy,’ he said softly. ‘Talking about him makes me insane.’

  ‘I understand, Billy. I know how hard it is to talk about the people who’ve hurt us.’

  His shoulders relaxed slightly. ‘I was ten when he left, and he didn’t contact any of us for a long time. When I was seventeen, he tried to suddenly become Dad again. I told him to fuck off.’

  That was the difference with Bear. She’d never stopped trying.

  ‘Does Lillian talk to him?’

  ‘Yep. She is much more forgiving than me. That’s what worries me.’

  ‘Being forgiving is a good thing.’

  ‘That asshole does not deserve to be forgiven.’

  ‘Don’t you think it’s a good thing he’s trying?’ I asked. ‘People don’t plan to be bad parents.’

  His expression hardened. I edged closer so I could caress his chest, weaving my fingers gently through his hair, hoping to calm the fire I sensed raging in his belly. But he jolted up, and my hand slipped off him.

  ‘You’ve said that before. And I don’t understand it. I don’t understand how you can be so dismissive. He left us. He left his children.’

  ‘I just see things differently,’ I said. ‘And he may have been an asshole for leaving. But he would’ve been an even bigger asshole if he’d never come back.’

  From his short, rapid breath, I knew anger still raged through him. But it wasn’t directed at me. It was directed at a man he could never bring himself to understand.