But it felt nothing like what I’d had with Hilary.
I reached forward and grabbed the shot glass again. I filled it and lifted it to my lips. I threw the liquor back and slammed the glass down.
Love, hate, lust, need—so many emotions raged within me.
I fucking loved her. The weight of that realization hit me harder than the Jack. A semi plowing over me would have been gentler. I loved Amber, but I could never have her. I couldn’t suffer through another bout of love. There would be nothing left of me. Besides, I was pretty sure she’d never look at me again after what I said to her.
Everything was so fucked-up.
I shook my head. Whoa, bad idea.
The whole bar wobbled. The Jack had finally hit me and just in time. If there were ever a time to feel numb, it was right fucking now. I couldn’t handle thinking about Amber for another minute.
I reached forward to grab the bottle. It took me a moment to get my hand on it, but I finally did. I didn’t bother with the shot glass this time. There was no point. The bottle was almost empty. I put it to my lips and tipped it up, draining what was left at the bottom, which wasn’t much. Thank fuck the bartender hadn’t given me a full bottle. I’d probably be dying from alcohol poisoning.
I rested my head on the bar as the alcohol surged through my veins. I hoped to God that I would just pass out. That would be welcomed. Eric knew where I was. If I couldn’t make it back to Drake’s, Eric would find me and haul my ass home. Eric was good for shit like that.
I fell asleep—or at least I thought I had. I wasn’t entirely sure. It seemed like only a moment later, I felt a hand resting on my shoulder. I slowly raised my head to see who it was. I squinted at the woman standing next to me with a coy smile on her face. She looked familiar, but I couldn’t place her.
“Hey, big guy. Need some help?” she asked.
“Mmhmm…” I mumbled.
She smacked my cheek.
It wasn’t a slap, but it caught my attention. “What the fuck?”
“You with me?”
“Yeah,” I said as I tried to focus on her face. I wasn’t one hundred percent sure, but I thought I’d fucked her once before.
“Come on.” She tugged on my arm until I stood.
She smiled up at me. “Let’s find someplace private.”
I nodded, still unsure of who the fuck she was or why she was with me. She rested her hand on my arm as she led me toward the back of the bar. She paused outside a door for a moment and looked around. She nodded to herself before pushing it open. She tugged on me again until I followed her.
I looked around. It was a restroom.
“Why are we in here?” I slurred.
She ignored me until we were in the back stall. My brain finally clicked a second before she attacked me. Her lips pressed against mine as she clawed at my T-shirt. My body responded instantly. Even drunk, it knew what it wanted.
The girl moaned as her hands worked on the button and zipper of my jeans. Before I could push her away, my pants and boxers were at my knees, and her hands were all over my cock. I groaned and closed my eyes as she worked me over.
“I didn’t think I would get this chance,” she mumbled, “after you left earlier with that other girl.”
“You’re getting it now,” I said as my hips thrust forward.
“I am. My friend called me and said that you and Eric were at the bar tonight, so I came prepared.”
I had no idea what she was talking about, and I didn’t really care. My only thought was about how much I wanted to get off.
She pulled away. Before I could open my eyes, I heard the sound of a wrapper being ripped open. My eyes shot open as she sheathed my cock in a condom. Her hands moved to her jeans and quickly unbuttoned them.
“Fuck me,” she demanded.
I lurched forward and grabbed her thighs before lifting her into the air. I pushed her back against the stall wall and pressed against her. One thrust later, and I was in. I groaned as I slowly fucked her. I wanted to savor this. I needed to.
A voice in the back of my head promised that there would be hell to pay for this.
Amber’s face flashed through my mind, but I pushed her away. We were done. There was nothing left. She needed to move on, and I needed to do what I did best—fuck. That and playing guitar were the only two things I was good at.
The girl moaned as her hands gripped my T-shirt, urging me on. I started fucking her harder, desperate to find release. When a toilet flushed a few stalls over, I tensed for a moment before continuing. Whoever the fuck was in the restroom with us could get out.
I groaned as the girl’s pussy tightened around me. She was close, and so was I. I started moving faster, my thrusts becoming harder the closer I got. The stall walls started shaking with the force of my movements. If I wasn’t so drunk, I would be proud of that.
“Fuck yes. Your pussy is so tight, baby,” I groaned. I was going to come at any second.
The stall door swung open right as I was about to explode. I glanced over, but my vision was still fuzzy. I registered the fact that Amber was standing there a split second before I started to come. I looked away, suddenly feeling sick to my stomach, as I came.
When I looked up again, Amber was gone.
I almost went after her, but I stopped myself. We were done. If there had been even a sliver of hope before, it sure as fuck was gone now. It was for the best.
We were finished.
For the first time in my life, I truly wished death on myself.
Present
August
“You nervous?” Amber asked.
I pulled up to Chloe and Drake’s house. “Nah. You know they’re going to be happy,” I said before shutting off the car.
“I hope,” Amber mumbled before opening her door.
“Hey.” I grabbed her arm and pulled her back. “They’re our friends. They want us to be happy.”
“I know,” she said softly before giving me a tiny smile. “You’re right. I’m being silly.”
“You are,” I said before climbing out of my car.
Amber was already out of her seat and in the backseat, pulling Gabby’s car seat off of its base, before I shut my door. I opened the other rear door and grabbed the diaper bag.
It’d been just over a month since I asked Amber to marry me. I wanted to let the whole fucking world know that we were engaged, but she’d made me promise not to tell anyone until she was ready. I didn’t really understand why, but I had agreed to keep her happy.
Tonight, the whole band plus Chloe and Logan would find out at dinner. They’d planned the dinner to celebrate the birth of Gabriella. They had no idea that they’d given Amber the perfect place to make the announcement.
I’d wanted to take Amber to the courthouse the moment she said yes, but she’d refused. She wanted a wedding. She didn’t want anything big, but she was adamant about having an actual wedding—with a dress and flowers. With anyone else, I would have gone running toward the nearest exit at the mention of those words, but with her, I’d just nodded and agreed like the pussy-whipped fuck I was.
We walked up to the front door and rang the doorbell. Seconds later, it opened. Chloe didn’t even greet us before she grabbed Gabriella’s car seat out of Amber’s hands. Then, Chloe turned and walked back into the house.
I glanced at Amber, who was trying to hide her grin. “I assume the open door means that we’re allowed to come in, too?”
She laughed. “I think so.”
Since Gabriella had come home, Chloe had spent nearly every day at my place. It seemed that she’d grown rather attached to Gabby. When I’d mentioned it to Drake, he had rolled his eyes. If Chloe had anything to say about it, I saw a baby in their future very soon.
We walked in and closed the door behind us. I followed Amber into the living room where Chloe was already unstrapping Gabby from her car seat. Eric, Jade, Logan, and Bethaney—Jade’s sister—were all sitting in chairs or on the floor. Drake stood
a few feet away from the doorway. I snickered when I saw him warily watching Chloe and Gabriella. He glanced over and flipped me off when he saw me watching him.
“Don’t say a word,” he grumbled.
“You know, it’s really easy to have a baby of your very own. All you have to do is—”
“No!” Drake cut me off. “I’m well aware of how babies are made. I just don’t want one. Yours will do.”
Chloe frowned at him. “Eventually, I want one.”
“Sure, we can have one when Gabriella’s old enough to babysit.”
Amber grinned as she sat down next to Chloe on the couch. “I’m going to start charging a holding fee.”
“All of you, shut up. Gabriella and I are bonding,” Chloe snapped before turning her attention back to Gabby. “Aren’t we, pretty girl? Yes. Yes, we are.”
I caught Drake’s eye and grinned as Chloe continued to baby talk. It was amazing how infants could strip adults of their dignity. I wouldn’t dare say that out loud. Chloe would probably throw the car seat at me.
I sat down on the arm of the couch next to Amber. She looked up at me and smiled briefly before turning her attention back to Gabby and Chloe. Jade and Bethaney stood and walked over to where Gabby was. I rolled my eyes before moving out of the way so that they could all ooh and aah over my kid. Women and babies were like magnets to each other.
Eric, Logan, Drake, and I settled in on the other side of the room. The women completely ignored us.
“We’ve all been replaced,” Logan said as he shook his head.
“Baby versus Men, Round One, goes to the infant in the pink onesie,” Drake mumbled.
I cleared my throat, and the men all looked at me. “I have some news. Actually, Amber and I have some news.”
Eric groaned. “Please tell me you’re not already expecting another one.”
I flipped him off. “No, we’re not.”
“Then, what is it?” Drake asked.
“Amber?” I called loud enough for her to hear me.
She looked up. “What?”
“Do you want to tell them, or should I?” I asked.
“Oh!” She glanced over at the girls before standing and walking over to me. “Adam and I have an announcement.”
“Are you pregnant again?” Jade asked.
Eric laughed.
“No!” Amber’s eyes widened in horror. “I couldn’t handle another one yet.”
“That’s the damn truth,” I mumbled.
She hit me on the shoulder.
I grinned. “What? It’s the truth. Having a kid is like the ultimate form of birth control.”
She rolled her eyes before reaching into her jeans pocket and pulling out her engagement ring. She slipped it onto her finger and held up her hand. “Adam and I are getting married!”
The shrieks from the girls were enough to bust my eardrums. I winced and rubbed my ears.
“Congrats!” everyone said at once.
The girls ran to Amber and tightly hugged her as the guys clapped me on the back.
“He asked me to marry him when we brought Gabriella home,” Amber told everyone.
“What? Why are you guys just now telling us?” Chloe demanded.
“I wanted to wait until we adjusted to having Gabriella,” Amber explained.
“I never thought you’d be the first,” Eric said as he grinned at me.
“What do you mean?”
“To settle down.”
I shook my head. “Drake and Jade beat me to it.”
“Chloe and Drake got married first, but you’re the one with the kid, and you’re getting married now. You’ve officially settled down.”
A year ago, those words would have made me cringe. Now, I just grinned. The thought of spending the rest of my life with Amber and Gabby made me feel…alive, happy, and at peace. It was more than I’d ever hoped for.
“Next, you’ll get a puppy,” Logan piped up.
I looked over to see him grinning at me. Logan and I had never been close, and he generally kept to himself when the band was around. The fact that he was tormenting me was practically monumental.
“I’m a cat person actually,” I told him. “I’ve always been drawn to pussy.”
Drake snorted, but he wisely kept his mouth shut.
“So, have you guys set a date yet?” Chloe asked.
Amber nodded. “We want a Christmas wedding.”
“Aw, that’ll be perfect, and it gives you time to plan,” Jade said.
Amber grinned. “We want all of you guys to be in the wedding. We’re going to keep it really small. It’ll just be our group and my parents.”
“Of course we’ll be in it!” Chloe said as if the thought of not being a part of the wedding was beyond her comprehension.
“Good.” Amber looked over at the guys. “That means you assholes as well. You in?”
The guys nodded.
Drake spoke up, “Will I have to wear a suit?”
Amber shrugged. “That’s up to Adam. I’m in charge of the girls. He gets you idiots.”
Drake looked at me. “Oh, goody.”
I smirked. “Better start kissing ass now unless you want to wear a red-and-green suit. After all, it is a Christmas wedding.”
Past
September
I glared at the brunette who was sitting next to Chloe and Drake in the sand. After noticing her only a few minutes before, I had been watching the back of her head, hoping that I was wrong. It couldn’t be her. There was no fucking way that she would show up at my party. She was supposed to be clear across the goddamn country, not relaxing in the sand fifteen feet away from me.
It had to be her though. She was sitting with Chloe and Drake.
I took a deep breath as I started walking toward them. I needed to know. As I approached, I caught the end of whatever Drake was saying.
“Keep your orgasms to yourself.”
“Who’s orgasming?” I asked as I stopped behind the brunette.
Her entire body locked up at the sound of my voice. It was Amber.
“I am. All these hot guys are sending my ovaries into overdrive,” Chloe said.
I started to respond, but the brunette slowly turned toward me. I froze when I saw her face for the first time in two years.
Amber.
God, she was more beautiful now than she had been then.
But one look at her, and I knew it wasn’t only her looks that had changed. Her eyes were full of weariness and even hate. The carefree woman I’d left behind was nowhere to be seen.
I wanted to step forward and touch her. I wanted to tell her how sorry I was for the things I’d said and done to her, but I couldn’t. We were past that. Trying to apologize would do neither of us good. She thought I hated her, and I needed her to continue to think that.
“What the fuck is she doing here?” I shot a glare in her direction.
“I invited her. Is that going to be a problem?” Drake said.
My eyes flickered to him. I was surprised at the coldness in his voice.
“No,” I bit out. “It’s no problem at all. Just keep the whore away from me.”
“Hey!” Chloe yelled at me. “Stop being a fucking asshole.”
I ignored her as I turned and walked away from them. I didn’t dare look back. I knew Amber was watching me. I could feel her eyes boring holes into my back. I kept walking, my eyes moving over the crowd around me. I needed a distraction—pronto.
My eyes found a blonde in a barely there bikini. She was standing only a few feet away, watching me. I smirked as I made my way over to her. Without saying a word, I grabbed her and pulled her to me. Her lips parted in surprise a split second before my lips crashed down on hers. I kissed her deeply, desperate to forget about Amber. I didn’t want her here. She had no right to come here and ruin my good time. I hated that I still wanted her, even after two years.
I kissed the girl, but my mind was on Amber. I thought of the way she’d looked in her bikini, the rich
chocolate color of her hair, and the coldness of her expression as she’d turned toward me.
I pulled away from the blonde. Obviously, kissing wasn’t working.
“Come with me,” I said.
She dropped her cup onto the sand and followed me without a word. I led her up the path to my house. Without a word, I opened my patio door and walked inside. The moment she stepped in, I pinned her against the wall.
One way or another, I was going to forget about Amber tonight.
***
Sunset turned to darkness quickly. I spent my evening mingling with other musicians and a few of the girls, not daring to get close to my bandmates and Amber. I watched her though, constantly aware of where Amber was and what she was doing. She seemed to have the same idea as me—get completely trashed and pretend that the other one didn’t exist. As far as I was concerned, it was a good plan.
I’d had a few too many though. The beach wobbled around me, and my words were coming out jumbled as I talked to a few of the guys. They laughed, but most of them were as bad off as I was. I hoped none of them planned on leaving the beach tonight because none of us could walk right, let alone drive.
I looked over to my bandmates. I froze when I saw Amber walking away—or rather, she was stumbling away from them. Without thinking, I took a step forward to follow her.
I stopped. No. I didn’t need to go after her. Nothing good would come of it.
Still, I found my feet moving in her direction. When I passed Drake, he looked up. His eyes traveled from me to where Amber was stumbling along. He shook his head and turned away. I had no fucking clue what that was about.
I weaved my way across the beach. I lost sight of her in the darkness. I could hear the party going on behind me, but I paid no attention to it. My focus was on her. I had to find her. I had no idea what I would say or do, but I just needed to see her for a moment. Maybe with the darkness surrounding us, I wouldn’t be able to see the hate in her eyes.
I finally spotted her again as she made her way toward me. She didn’t even see me. I waited until she was only a few feet away from me before stepping into her path. She obviously wasn’t paying attention, or maybe she was as drunk as I was.
Adam Page 6
