“What a sweet way to go,” I said, repeating the words he once told me back to him.
His smile widened. He moved off of me and stood at the edge of the bed, his eyes roaming over my body as they darkened with desire.
“I love how much you trust me with your body.”
I nodded. “Yes, I trust you. I know you’ll take care of me.”
“I’ll always take care of you,” he vowed.
“And I’ll take care of you, too,” I told him.
“Is that so?”
“Yes. You are mine. And I’ll take care of you.”
His gaze softened. “I know you will.”
He bent down so that we were eye to eye, and with one hand on the back of my neck, pulled me forward, but I resisted. I softly traced his lips. “Your lips.” I touched the cut there from when Jude clipped him in the fight the night before.
He pulled me forward until his lips met mine. “I don’t even feel it,” he said, and he kissed me. And I didn’t stop him.
This kiss.
It was poison and cure all rolled up in one. I submitted to this kiss, to him. Surrendering more than just my heart and sanity.
I surrendered everything to him, because of his kiss.
Without waiting for his encouragement, I opened my mouth and invited him in. I wanted him as close to me as possible.
My hands moved across his back, from his shoulders, down to the expanse of skin of the small of his back. I pulled him in until there wasn’t an inch of space between us.
I moaned into his mouth when his kiss grew wild, when his tongue glided against mine while his hand roamed all over my body as if he owned me. He did.
Jackson gently pushed me down to the bed, and then he laid himself on top of me. I spread my legs out as far as they would go to accommodate his large size.
And when he moved his hips against mine, I gasped. My legs wrapped around his waist, I urged him to keep moving with my nails ranking down his bare back.
Jackson moved again, pressing into me each time. The only thing separating him from being complete inside of me was his boxers and my panties, and even then, they didn’t feel like much.
They couldn’t protect me from feeling everything, couldn’t protect me from feeling assaulted by the sensation he brought out as he imitated exactly what he would do were we to join in the only way that mattered.
“Jackson,” I whispered out his name, my voice sounding foreign even to my own ears.
I knew I could come just from this alone. In fact, I could feel myself building up, as my legs shook from where they wrapped around him.
He moved faster, moved harder from the pleading in my voice, and then…
Then…
Everything sort of blacked out for a moment and I was unable to tell what was real and what wasn’t.
When I came back, I held onto Jackson and tried to catch my breath. It was as if I had just run a marathon.
I looked up and met his eyes, soft amber eyes. “Let’s get you naked,” he muttered, kissing me briefly on my forehead.
He swiftly disposed me of my shirt.
I sat there on the bed, in nothing but my panties. What did he saw when he looked at me like this?
Could he see how fast my heart was beating?
Could he hear it?
“You’re so beautiful, Emily.”
I never thought of myself as anything more than plain. But if my looks were what had captured his attention in the first place, I would let him believe whatever he wanted. Just as long as he kept looking at me the way he was.
“Get on your knees for me, baby.”
“On the bed?” I asked.
He nodded. “On the bed.”
I hesitated, but only for a second, before I moved up to my knees. Like this, I was even more exposed to him. He cupped my shoulders and brought me in close.
So close, his lips were only a hairline away from mine.
I tried to kiss him, but he turned his face sideways, and all I got was his cheek.
“Not yet. You kiss me, and I’ll get distracted.”
“Okay.”
I watched as one hand move down to my breast, and he fondled it, playing with it, tweaking my nipple with his thumb and forefinger.
My breathing grew heavier and heavier, and I couldn’t look away. I kept my eyes on his hand, watched as he played with me. He lowered his head to my ears. “I love the way you feel in my hands.” He kissed the skin there. “But I love the way you taste even more.”
My breath hitched.
He smiled.
He kissed his way down, from my jaw to my collarbones, to the top of my breast, before finally, finally, he took an aching peak into his mouth and sucked.
My knees grew weak, and I could no longer hold myself up. I would have fallen had Jackson not been there, holding me up while he continued to torture me with those lips of his.
“Jackson, God!”
He smiled, the imprint of his smile could be felt against my skin as his hands moved down to the hem of my panties. He tugged them down until they couldn’t go any further, stuck at my knees.
Cold air hit me, and my heart stuttered, knowing his hands were only a few inches away from where I wanted him most. I tensed, anticipating his touch as he glided the palm of his hand up the inside of my thigh, and higher still…
“Oh!”
I whimpered when he moved his fingers around in circles.
It was too much.
I was feeling too much.
I moved my hips along the rhythm of his hand, hoping to find more friction, and Jackson never slowed. He kept moving until I reached an all-time high, right before I fell, and fell, and fell.
I leaned forward and let him hold onto me because I didn’t know how I was supposed to get up after this.
My limbs felt useless.
He laid me down on the bed and did quick work to remove my panties before he laid himself on top of me.
He was still hard.
I turned my head and begged for a kiss. He complied, taking my lips in his sweetly. I boldly moved my hands down and cupped him through his boxers. He groaned, and I felt him grow more excited.
“God, Emily.”
I smiled against his lips, my touch growing more confident. “I want to see you lose control,” I whispered against his lips. I didn’t wait for his reply. I sat up and straddled one of his thighs.
Though I should feel self-conscious, the way he looked at me only made me feel sensuous.
The seduced became the seducer.
I tugged his boxer down past his hips, enough to reveal him to me. I licked my lips. Hesitantly, I grabbed him, loving the feel of him.
The confidence I felt just seconds ago dwindled as I thought about what I wanted to do. I had only done it one other time, and it was with Ethan. I didn’t like it very much, and neither did he. What if I had done it wrong in the past, and that was why I couldn’t please Ethan?
Before I didn’t care. I was just glad Ethan never made me do it again.
But I wanted to please Jackson.
Jackson hand on my cheek brought me out of my thoughts. He was frowning. “What’s wrong?”
I shook my head and focus my attention back on him, only he wasn’t hard anymore. And that made my position that much more awkward. I wanted to cry. I thought I might be when my eyes started to burn.
“Hey, what’s this?” Jackson sat up, and then I was on his lap with his arms wrapped tightly around me.
I buried my face in his chest, refusing to meet his eyes, all the while, he soothed me, running his fingers through my hair, and when I started to sniff slightly in the quiet room, his hold on me tightened.
And he didn’t let me hide. He gently tilted my face up until I was forced to meet his eyes. I was sure they were red and tearstained. He flinched. “Sweetheart, tell me what’s wrong, and I’ll fix it.”
“I want to please you,” I said, my voice breaking at the end. I hated this. I hated how unemotional I
was with Ethan and how emotional I was with Jackson.
There was no in-between, and at this point, I wasn’t sure which was worse. Though I was a little surprised Jackson wasn’t tired of my tears by now.
“What are you talking about? You do please me.”
“I-I wanted to do something, but I didn’t want to do it wrong.”
“How could you do it wrong. You have to know, all you have to do was look at me and I would be turned on.”
“You weren’t just now,” I said quietly.
Jackson made this noise in the back of his throat, as he brought me in closer to him. “Sweetheart, how could I be turned on when you looked like you were about to cry?”
I bit my lips, my cheeks flushed. I didn’t know what to say to that.
“I can’t ignore the fact that you seemed upset, and I don’t know why. Am I the reason why you’re upset?” he asked, his eyebrows pinched together in concern. “Are we moving too fast?”
I shook my head quickly. At this point, I would probably kill him if he made us slow down more than we already had.
His lips twitched, as he tried to suppress his humor. Though it didn’t last very long. His face turned serious once again, as he looked over my face carefully. “What is it?”
I played with the few chest hairs he had, my focus on them so I didn’t have to meet his eyes. “You know I’ve done things with Ethan before,” I said. “Um, when I did, well, you know, when I did that for him, he didn’t…” I shook my head.
Jackson was quiet. And when the silence became too much, I looked and found his eyes widened in disbelief. “Are you serious?”
I nodded, my shame bearing me down. It was obvious I did it wrong. No man couldn’t finish in Ethan’s position, and he didn’t.
“Did you want to do that for him?” Jackson asked suddenly, and I stuttered. I wasn’t prepared for his question, and now I didn’t know how to answer him.
Jackson’s jaw clenched. “He manipulated you into doing something for him when he knew you didn’t want to, and then he got mad when you were too nervous to do it the way he wanted, isn’t it?”
My lips trembled, and I couldn’t speak. I was sure my voice would break.
“Emily, you have to know I’m not him.” I nodded. I knew that. “And whatever we do is entirely up to you. We can do whatever you want to do. You seem to like it when I touch you, so I know that’s okay.”
I blushed, and he smiled gently.
“I do,” I admitted. In fact, I was addicted to it… to him.
“We can do just that. When I pleasure you, it’s not because I want you to reciprocate.”
“That hardly seems fair.”
He shrugged. “I don’t care about fair. In this relationship, you’re the boss. I follow your lead. You tell me how far you want to take it, and that’s how far we’ll take it.”
“I want to,” I said. “I’m just afraid I’ll do it wrong.”
Jackson made this low rumbled growl at the back of his throat. I thought he might be frustrated with me, but then his next words told me that wasn’t the case. “I can kill him for making you think there is something wrong with you.” Eyes gentle again, he took in my face in both of his hands. “You can’t do anything wrong. Ever. Do you understand?”
I paused for a second. Then I nodded. “Yes, I understand.”
“Good.” And then he kissed me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him in close. His hands moved down to my waist. He didn’t take it any further, even though it would have been so easy considering I was still naked on his lap.
But his kiss was surprisingly chaste, and I didn’t know how to initiate anything more with him. Not after I just cried in his arms. He pulled away from the kiss but kept me close. “How about breakfast?” he asked softly.
“Will you stay with me while I get ready?” I didn’t want to be far away from him. Not yet. “And then we can cook breakfast together? I mean, I probably won’t be much help, but I can crack the eggs or something.”
He smiled. “Of course, sweetheart. Why don’t I dress us and then we can go downstairs?”
“Yes.”
25
Past: Emily
I stayed close to him.
I didn’t want him away from me for more than a minute. And that was insane. But Jackson didn’t seem to mind, in fact, he welcomed my clinging, and we didn’t spend even a second apart.
We stayed in all morning, doing absolutely nothing. It was the best lazy day I ever had. Some of the books and movies Jackson brought with him a while back was still at the house, so that was what we did. Jackson brought out two mystery books for us to read, and when I grew bored, he put on a comedy movie, and we watched it on the couch, our bodies so close to one and another, I might as well become a part of him.
Early afternoon, he took me out to to the park nearby, and Aiden and Grant showed up shortly after, and the four of us had a picnic. I couldn’t remember laughing so much, and when it was time to leave, I almost didn’t.
I didn’t want to go to work and meet all the people there, since most of them, I was sure, was at the fight last night. But I had to. My only consolation was that Grant would be there as well.
And I was sure Jackson and Aiden would hang out at the diner.
Jackson seemed even more protective of me than usual, and even though the notion seemed silly, I reveled in it.
As much as I clung to him, it was reassuring to know he clung onto me just as tightly.
He drove us back to my house a little after four so that I could change into my work uniform. By the time he pulled up into my driveway, another distinguishable blue truck was already parked on my driveway.
Jackson and I shared a look. We hadn’t talked about Jerimiah since he first brought it up with me. And now he was in my house. Jackson already didn’t trust the man. And he still thinks Jerimiah had done something to me to make me so skittish around him, even though I told Jackson that Jerimiah hadn’t done anything to me.
“I’ll be quick,” I told Jackson when he opened the door for me. He grunted in an answer but didn’t say more. I didn’t expect him to.
When we got in, the kitchen light was on, and I could see two figure sitting at the dining table, beer cans, both empty and full between them.
My dad was laughing at something Jerimiah said, so they hadn’t notice Jackson and me. But as I tried to make my way to the stairs without being seen, Jerimiah turned, and even though he had a few cans of beer, his eyes still seemed sharp as they pierced right through me.
I stopped and looked at him, and I could see his lips tilting upwards in a small smile, which quickly disappeared when Jackson wrapped his arms around me from behind, his body tensed.
I wasn’t looking at him, but I was sure Jackson was scowling.
My dad finally noticed Jerimiah wasn’t paying attention to him and he turned, too. My dad’s eyes weren’t sharp. I couldn’t remember a time when they were clear from alcohol.
Perhaps before, when my mom was still alive. But he was just so goddamn miserable without her, he didn’t know what to do with himself sober.
“Emily,” he said, his voice slurring a little.
“Hi, dad. I just came home to get ready for work.”
He seemed surprised. “Since when did you have a job?”
“Oh, um, last month.”
“Right,” he said after a moment of silence.
I coughed. “You remember Jackson, right? My boyfriend.”
“Yeah.”
Jerimiah fidgeted on his seat, bringing my attention back to him. His eyes were trained on me, but before, when he always seemed so confident, he looked uncomfortable then. I could only imagine it was because of the formidable wall that was Jackson standing behind me.
I turned back to my dad, who seemed to have lost interest in the conversation. “Okay, we’ll be in my room.” I waved at them awkwardly, and holding onto Jackson’s hand, led him up to my room.
I closed the door behin
d us and kept my back to him. Perhaps this was why he didn’t want to talk about his family.
I could feel shame coloring my cheeks.
My dad and I, we were more like strangers who happened to live in the same house. Did he even know that I had been spending more time at Jackson’s house than I did in my own home?
I heard Jackson’s footsteps as he moved toward me, and then I was in his arms. We didn’t say anything for a while. I didn’t know what I could say anyway.
“Go change, and I’ll drive you to work.”
“Okay.”
Pulling away, I moved to my closet, but instead of grabbing my work clothes, I grabbed the duffle bag on the floor.
Jackson looked at me questioningly.
“We can go back to your house after?” I asked.
“Yes. And if there’s something you forget to pack, we can always go to the store and buy it.”
I shot him a small smile and proceeded to pack the bag for the weekend.
After, I grabbed my work clothes and looked back at Jackson.
“What?” he asked when I didn’t say anything.
“Turn around.”
He smirked. “Sweetheart, I’ve seen you naked before. In fact, just this morning, I had you squirming in my arms without a stitch of clothing on.”
I didn’t say anything. He grumbled something under his breath, though there was humor in his eyes when he did as I asked.
I quickly change and walked over to him. “Okay, you can drive me to work.”
He laughed. “So I take it I am only allowed to see you naked when we fool around?”
I shrugged. “I’ve never changed in front of anyone before.”
He bit his lips, and my eyes zeroed in on it. “Soon enough, I’ll get you to be comfortable in your own skin.”
I smiled but didn’t say anything.
Jackson grabbed my hand and walked me out of there. My dad didn’t notice us leaving, but Jerimiah did. He didn’t say anything, but I felt his eyes on me during our walk to the front door.
I moved in closer to Jackson, who shot a glare Jerimiah’s way before ushering me outside.
“I don’t like the way he looks at you,” Jackson said after I closed the door behind us. I didn’t either, but he was hardly ever around, it didn’t even matter.
Jackson's Girl: Being His Duology Page 22
