In the center of the table sat a beautiful lightly-frosted strawberry cake, with two candles—a one and a seven—placed in the center. I gaped at them, with a smile stitched between my cheeks. “Oh my god… How did you know?”
Theo marched over and yanked me into a firm and warm hug. Zed followed, and then Mr. and Mrs. Everton. Tears threatened to fall in line, but I forced them back.
“You didn’t think you could sneak it past us, did you?” Mrs. Everton asked. She patted the seat at the head of the table. “Mr. Everton was in speaking to Mr. Piper and told him that you were coming to our place for Christmas, and the secretary happened to mention that you were one of the Christmas break birthdays. She just happened to see it on the calendar.”
“Oh, wow.” I whipped my black hair behind my shoulders. I was so unaccustomed to any attention on my birthday. “This is so nice. I don’t know how to thank you.”
But before I could finish, everyone burst into the song. My eyes flashed with the memory of little Zach and Tyler at the foster home, singing it to me for my sixteenth birthday. They had fumbled the words, and I’d had to help them along. After, we had all eaten Twinkies and watched their favorite cartoon. I’d met Jeanine for practice and hadn’t told her it was my birthday.
Mrs. Everton sliced the cake and everyone had a hearty piece. Zed ate his twice as quickly as everyone else, and Mrs. Everton gave him a second. “Runners…” she sighed. “Not as bad as swimmers, I suppose. They would eat the whole house if you let them.”
I giggled and thought of Chloe, who I already missed dearly. As I snuck my fork back into my birthday cake, Mr. Everton placed an envelope in front of me. I blinked at it and tilted my head, looking up at him completely puzzled. “What is this?”
“A birthday card.” Mr. Everton shrugged.
Inside, I found a silly Hallmark-style birthday card, with a phrase that could have applied to literally anyone on the planet. But also, there was 150 dollars inside. I gaped at it and protested. “I can’t accept this.”
But the Evertons wouldn’t hear of it. My cheeks burned. I glanced through the doorway that led out of the breakfast nook and into the living area, where an enormous Christmas tree stood. It was a real evergreen that was chopped down from the forest and stood at least fifteen feet tall. It was beautiful, and beneath the tree were countless presents. Seemingly one hundred, all wrapped in beautifully designed paper. My heart thumped again and I almost felt like I had to pinch myself. I felt this strange desolation, this sadness, despite being surrounded by what seemed like love, and what seemed like honor and family.
Zach. Tyler. Heather and Hannah. Why did I suddenly deserve a Christmas, when they’d never had a real one?
The conversation tilted toward something Mr. Everton had read in the newspaper. Everybody shifted to listen and placed a half-listening expression on their faces. The maid came to lift up our plates from the table and scrub the wood beneath. When enough time had passed, I glanced toward Theo and Zed and said, “I don’t suppose you guys would mind taking me down to Denver for the afternoon? I have some errands I really need to run.”
The Evertons said they didn’t have anything planned. Zed admitted he wouldn’t mind stretching his legs downtown, and Theo shrugged and added, “I’m just glad we don’t have practice today. I’ll do anything except practice. My body is thanking me.”
Chapter Fifteen
Denver had a bit more snow than we did up at school. Parking lots dripped with grey-tinged white mounds, and icicles hung from storefronts. Theo parked the car near a department store downtown and gestured toward the large Christmas tree, where onlookers and tourists stopped and took selfies and gazed up with wide-eyed youthful faces. “I’ve never really been down here at Christmas. It’s really pretty,” Theo said.
I had always made it my Christmas and birthday mission to take some kind of walk through the downtown lights. Now, Zed and Theo and I walked along the streets, our fingers thrust into our pockets. We winced at the sharp wind, which seemed to cut at our cheeks and whip at our hair. Regardless, the sun was almost too bright, and it reflected against the snow in a way that seemed like magic.
When we reached the department store, I headed straight for the toy section. I spread out my hands and said, “Boys. If you were eight and nine years old, what would you want?”
Theo and Zed gave one another confused glances. I tugged at Theo’s hand and said, “Please. Play along.”
Finally, they did. They dropped legos and a train set into the shopping cart. I busied myself with the girl-stuff, adding two Barbie dolls, some Barbie clothes, and a little tea set. When we checked out, there was a large stack of boxes of Christmas cookies, and I added that, too. It wasn’t like Karla had suddenly taken on a love of baking since I’d left. I spent nearly seventy dollars of my birthday money, which felt like too little. I cast a glance back at the rest of the store, and Theo grabbed my elbow and said, “You did more than enough. Keep some of that money for yourself. It’s what my parents wanted it for.”
I gave a tentative nod. Even if I didn’t use the money on myself, at least I would have it for something in the future—something necessary.
Theo and Zed didn’t ask any questions on the way to Karla’s, and I was grateful for this. When we pulled up in front of the house, I felt the anxiety well up within my stomach, because I had now opened up the door to my previous life and let the boys take a peek in. The place looked even more rundown than normal. The porch swing had clunked down and hung from only one chain on one side. The screen door that was busted since summer still hadn’t been fixed, and a few stray toys lingered across the boards. I grabbed the bags of toys from the trunk and glanced back at the guys.
“Do you want to come to meet them?” I asked although I hadn’t expected them to want to.
Zed and Theo nodded. They cut out of the car and walked up behind me. One of them—maybe it was Zed?—put his hand on my lower back, a note of support. When I reached the door, I rapped loud enough that I heard it echo against the thin walls in the back. Somebody—Hannah, surely—shrieked. Then, somebody else scampered up to the door and flung it open.
“Zach!” I cried.
“Rooney! Guys, it’s Rooney!”
The other three rushed up behind Zach. I beamed down at them, and yanked the broken screen door open and dropped to hug each of them. The smell of macaroni and cheese wafted through the air. Hannah’s cheeks were red, as though she had gotten into Karla’s makeup, but all of their eyes were bright and they seemed healthy, which was the most important thing. None of them remembered my birthday, but I had never expected them to. Seeing them again was all I needed.
“Where is Karla?” I asked.
“I’m in here.” The voice was gruff and heavy with cigarette smoke.
Every single cell in my body froze with fear. I hadn’t known Karla could still have any power over me. The four children separated to create a path between them so that me and Zed and Theo could enter. When I reached the belly of the house, I found Karla on the busted couch, the final nub of a cigarette between her third and second fingers. She coughed and gave me a half-smile.
“There she is. Our Olympic star,” she scoffed. The sarcasm was palpable.
“Hey Karla,” I tried. “It’s um. Good to see you.”
“Lying was never your strong suit, was it?” she pointed out. “But you look good.” She sniffed. “Who are these guys?”
Theo, to his credit, raised a hand and said, “I’m Theo Everton, Mrs….”
“Call me Karla,” she barked.
“Karla. And this is Zed Winford. We go to school with Rooney,” he said.
“Wow. I have some of the top athletes in the country right here in my living room. What did I do to deserve such an honor?” Karla added.
The boys shifted around uneasily. I lifted the bags of presents and said, “I just want to give these to the kids and then I’ll be on my way out. We won’t bother you.”
Karla clicked the re
mote control and changed the station. This seemed to be her answer. Her eyes glazed and turned back to the television. I surged toward the kitchen, which was cluttered with dishes, and began to draw out the presents. The kids had shuffled toward the door, frightened, but I beckoned them back toward me. The bright and flashy items brought them fast.
Their smiles were zealous. Their laughter was wild, which made Karla turn up the volume as loud as it could go in the other room. But nothing could tear down the beautiful feel in that kitchen that afternoon. I was seventeen years old, and for the first time in my life, I felt like I really had given people something, something that mattered to them. Foster kids lived with the memories they could string together. I hoped that a long time from now when they managed to fight their ways out of the system and become whatever they wanted to be—they would look back on this day as a light in the darkness.
After I gave my last hugs and kisses to each of the kids, I gave a solid wave to Karla in her shitty living room and we headed out the front door. I could feel the tug in my chest and felt a tear roll down my cheek. We reached the car and Zed had noticed I was crying. He immediately pulled me into his embrace and murmured, “They’re going to be okay, Rooney and what you did today was awesome!” He kissed my forehead before we got back into the vehicle.
On our way out of town, Theo stopped at a gas station. Zed and I popped out to grab a snack and a drink. I slept-walked through the aisles as my mind wandered elsewhere. And when I heard her voice, that bright and shiny, horrible voice, I thought maybe I was dreaming.
“Look who’s here? You aren’t going to eat that Milky Way, are you? It’s going to go straight to your thighs.”
I blinked up to find Poppy in the water section. She wore a thick ski coat and Ugg boots and she hadn’t bothered with her makeup, which made her look strangely tired and washed-out.
“Poppy. What are you doing here?” I still felt far underwater. My heart thudded strangely like it could give out any moment.
She blinked over my shoulder to spot Zed near the nuts and beef jerky. Theo sauntered in, and the gas station bell jangled. Poppy’s face shifted from one of confusion to one of complete anger and understanding.
“I see.” Her eyes burned back toward mine. “You’ve worked your way in, haven’t you? In with the Evertons. Holy Shit. You little conniving bitch.”
I gripped my Milky Way with white, tense fingers. “Merry Christmas to you, too, Poppy.”
Suddenly, Coach Jeremy charged into the gas station. His eyes pegged toward both Poppy and me, and he grimaced and forced his eyebrows over his eyes. “What the fuck is taking so long, Poppy?”
Was she training today? Two days before Christmas?
Poppy flipped her hair over her shoulder and she knew exactly what I was thinking. “Some people don’t take days off,” she told me. She grabbed a Fiji water and thrust forward so that her shoulder popped against mine and I fell to the side. A few bags of chips crumbled down from the shelf, and my shoulder stung.
I whipped around and watched as she sped to the register. Coach Jeremy paid for her water and muttered something under his breath. Theo and Zed stood near the door and gestured for me to hurry up. I froze until Coach Jeremy and Poppy left the register and headed back into the chilly air. Then, I paid quickly. My body shook strangely as I passed a few bills to the guy at the register.
“What’s got her panties in a knot?” the guy asked. His nose ring glinted. “Thought we were supposed to have Christmas cheer or some shit.”
I gave a small chuckle and thanked him. When I reached Theo, I had this ache in my stomach. Poppy had seen me out with them, and I knew she would craft some other scheme, some other way to ruin my life. With each passing day, I felt a bit stronger in my belief that I belonged without anyone’s approval, but there was always that sneaking suspicion in the back of my head that I didn’t belong. Poppy would never stop.
“You okay?” Theo asked.
“Sure. Let’s go back.”
Theo led me back to the car, and we made our way back to the house. My brain simmered with nostalgia as I dropped my head back and listened to the boy's talk. By the time we reached the mansion, I had allowed myself to let thoughts of Poppy disappear. It was after all Christmas—time to relax and enjoy the holidays without any kind of drama.
Chapter Sixteen
On the night of Christmas, a bit groggy from two glasses of wine, I excused myself to my guest bedroom and fell flat on my back on the king-sized mattress, still in my black v-neck Christmas dress. It had been a gorgeous and cozy day, and big cotton-ball-sized snowflakes had fallen to the ground to cover everything in a thick white blanket. At one point, Theo, Zed and I had stood out in it with our eyes to the grey clouds, with the snowflakes dotting us with tender wet kisses.
Minutes after my body caved onto the guest mattress; there was a light knock at the door. I lifted on my elbows and gazed through the orange lamplight toward the door. Had I imagined it? But a second later, there was another knock, and Theo appeared at the crack in the door. His blue eyes glowed like two twin oceans, and his smile was secretive. “Can I come in?”
“Of course,” I whispered.
He clipped the door behind him and stood before me in just a white t-shirt and a pair of boxers. I couldn’t help it: I grinned widely, seeing him like that—so vulnerable, so muscular beneath that shirt, his skin seeming to glow in the soft light from the lamp. Desire stirred in my belly, and already I could feel the juncture between my legs growing wet and warm. I lifted higher on my elbows and said, “Are you going to just stand there?”
He shrugged like he wanted to play with me. “Maybe.”
“That’s too bad,” I said. I stuck out my bottom lip and shrugged. “Guess we’ll just spend the night alone.”
“Would you prefer something else?” he asked.
“Hmm. I’m not sure. It is Christmas. And I feel a bit sad not to have celebrated my birthday without a little something else. You know?”
“Not sure I get what you mean,” he said, playing stupid and flashing me a playful grin.
I shifted up and reached for the buttons on my dress. One by one, I undid them until I splayed the fabric on either side of my body. My breasts spilled from my bra, my belly was flat and I only had on my G-string underwear. I lifted a knee to spread my legs, and I slowly eased my hand across my own pussy. Theo looked like he might lose his mind.
He took a few more steps and dropped to his knees at the edge of the bed. His hands traced over my milky thighs, and his eyes dropped from my eyes, down my breasts, my belly, all the way to my panties.
Theo drew his fingers to the floss-like string and slowly yanked them down my thighs and off my feet. He then pushed my thighs apart and moaned. He pressed forward so that his tongue traced my pink slit and then formed little circles around my clit. It was so gentle, so warm, and I thought I would lose my mind. I dropped my head back and my heart thudded. His tongue pressed harder and he stroked me faster. My eyelashes fluttered across my cheeks. “Oh my god…” I whispered.
I felt myself start to crest, and I reached for his blonde curls and held onto them as I gyrated against his mouth. I forgot everything—where I was or what I had ever done before that moment. I knew only the complete and almost torturous pleasure of his tongue on my pussy.
Just after I orgasmed, he lifted slowly from my thighs and his lips glistened with my wetness. He crawled on top of me and kissed me tenderly, with his mouth open. The bulge beneath his boxer was rock-hard.
I realized it then. Maybe, just maybe, I was ready.
I broke the kiss and gazed up at him. I bit down on my lower lip.
“What is it?” he whispered. He tugged down his boxers, and I lifted his t-shirt over his head. My fingers traced his abs. “You’re so quiet. What are you thinking?”
I brought my cheek against his and I spoke so softly, I hardly heard myself. “I want you to fuck me. Really fuck me.”
Theo remained so soft over me.
His thick muscular arms wrapped around mine, and I felt safe the way a woman should when she’s about to give her virginity to someone. I hadn’t been ready on the rooftop with Clinton, but here I was, on a king-sized bed in a mansion in the mountains, and I wanted nothing more than this.
“You’re sure?” He asked. His eyes never left mine as he waited for my answer.
I nodded and reached up to bite at the bottom part of his ear.
“Okay. I’ll get a condom,” he murmured. He disappeared for just two minutes and returned and ripped the thing open. In seconds, he had wrapped himself up, and he was on top of me again. It had been so cold without him there.
Slowly, he inched up and used his knees to bring my thighs apart again. I stared at the ceiling and dipped my nails into his back. The tip of his cock pressed against my opening and then found its way inside me, filling me slowly and completely. I gasped, feeling a little pain at first, but then the overwhelming feeling of pleasure as he started to thrust. He was tender with me at first, and he eased in and out with soft thrusts. But in time, I wanted more, I wanted all of him and he pumped faster. Sweat pooled down his spine and I arched my back as I moved in time with him. The bed creaked beneath us, but I didn’t think about anyone else, didn’t even care if anyone heard. In some ways, we were the only two creatures on the planet.
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