“I’m sorry about your saucepan.” Standing, Carly threw the sticky paper towels away and set the dented pan in the sink. She stared out through the window, her hands resting inside the basin. “I’ll pack my things and leave first thing in the morning.” She closed her eyes and sighed, then cleared her throat. “I wouldn’t blame you a bit if you wanted me to leave tonight.”
Bastien stepped up behind Carly, aching to wrap his arms around her and pull her to him. He didn’t blame her a bit for wanting to leave. She had come here needing protection, and he’d failed to provide it.
Yet, what gave her the impression that he wanted her to go? He frowned. What kind of strange human female thinking was that?
“Why would I ask you to leave tonight when I don’t want you to leave at all?” He fisted his hands behind his back, wanting to go after her ex-husband and wring his worthless neck. His wolf snarled inside him, practically begged for it. “Why didn’t you tell me you’d just left an abusive relationship? We could have planned for such an eventuality.”
Her whole body began to shake. Whether it was from shock or from trying to hold her emotions in check, Bastien wasn’t sure. Hell, maybe she was just cold. He cursed himself for neglecting his ability to change. He had never once thought of the consequences, how it could affect him or weaken his physical strength and telepathic powers. The thought had never crossed his mind.
“I was—” Carly’s voice broke. “I was ashamed.” Turning to face him, she leaned back against the counter. She wrapped her arms around her middle and stared at her feet.
Bastien stepped closer. Inhaling deeply, he took in Carly’s unique scent, and every muscle in his body hardened. A part of him still longed to take her in his arms, to comfort her, to convince her he wanted and needed her to stay—to feel the warmth of his mate pressing against him as he stilled her fears.
Another, more cautious part of him was afraid of scaring her away. He was her employer. What if she didn’t welcome his comfort or, worse yet, took it as a threat or sexual harassment?
Closing his eyes, Bastien took a deep breath and prayed for the patience he knew she would need.
“Ashamed of what, Carly? What reason would you have to be ashamed? Is it because you fell in love with someone who was not who nor what he seemed? Hell, most of us aren’t as we seem to others. Every one of us has something, some secret they’re afraid the world will find out.”
Goodness knew he had more secrets than most.
Carly shook her head. “No, that’s not it. I’m ashamed of driving him to do it.”
He scowled and paced away from her, cursing under his breath. “Is that what he told you, that you drove him to it?”
She nodded, her gaze lowered. She couldn’t, or wouldn’t, look Bastien in the eyes.
Leaning forward, so his face was level with hers, Bastien rested his hands on her shoulders and, as gently as he could, brought her chin up with his thumbs.
“You did nothing wrong, Carly,” he said, looking deeply into her eyes. “Your ex-husband is more of an animal than Bosco could ever be. Don’t you see that?”
Licking her swollen lips, Carly tried to look away. His hands held her face immobile in his gentlest grip. The only way to avoid looking at him was to close her eyes.
“Your ex is not right in the head. You’re lucky you left him before he killed you. You know that, don’t you? Some women in relationships like that aren’t as lucky or as brave as you are.”
There was no doubt in Bastien’s mind that given enough time, her ex-husband would have killed her, whether or not he meant to do so.
Bastien examined her black eye, swollen cheek and split lip, wanting nothing more than to hunt down that worthless piece of shit and beat him to within an inch of his life. The bastard needed to know what it felt like to have someone stronger than he was beat the crap out of him.
Regardless of that fact, nothing could lure him from her side tonight. Bastien would stay here in the same house, hell, in the same room with her if she allowed it.
Tonight, Carly needed to feel safe, and he would provide that for her if he could.
“Why don’t you go upstairs and take a nice long bath? You can relax and soak the dirt out of those scrapes.” He backed away, giving her room to pass. “I’ll finish cleaning up down here,” he said when he saw her eyeing the dirty dishes. He gave her a stern look. “And no more talk about leaving. Be assured, if I want you gone, you’ll know it. That piece of shit will never get into this house again. Not as long as I’m here.”
“He could hurt you, Bastien.”
Bastien shook his head and grinned. “Darlin’, I’m a lot stronger than I look. Don’t worry about me. I can take care of myself.”
He watched as Carly limped from the room, clenching his jaw as he thought about the abuse he’d just witnessed. He couldn’t bear to think of what other atrocities the asshole who’d called himself her husband had committed against her.
Why hadn’t he felt the man’s presence sooner? Were the rumors he heard about those who refused to shift true? The other shifters had felt her ex-husband’s presence. They’d sensed the man was on the property long before he had even thought there was any danger.
Did Carly distract him that much, or did he subconsciously want her out of his life? God knew the implications of having a human mate alarmed him. What if she turned out to be just like his mother?
Could he live with the guilt if she killed herself because of his shifter heritage? Bastien knew what his protective feelings for Carly meant. For the first time in his life, he felt protective of someone outside of his immediate family. She was his mate, or at least a potential mate.
Although he knew what that meant, it didn’t mean he had to like it. He had wanted no part of it. Not until Carly had screamed, at least. Then, it had been all he could do to keep himself from ripping out the other man’s throat.
His heart had leaped to his throat when he ran from the back of the barn to see his mate face down on the walkway with a strange man sitting on her back, ruthlessly slamming her head into the concrete.
Every fiber of Bastien’s being had wanted to let the wolf take over and tear the man limb from limb. However, the logical part of him, the part of him that was still human, knew he could never let Carly see an animal do such a thing. She’d just begun to trust those living in the barn. He didn’t want to undo all of that.
It had taken several weeks for her fears to dissipate and to overcome her fear of the wildlife that lingered around his home. Carly had even smiled at a few of Bosco’s antics the other day. That and that alone was the only reason the bastard still lived.
Chapter Nine
“Are there any wolves around here?” Carly set her fork and knife on her plate and studied Bastien’s reaction.
“Pausing with his fork halfway to his mouth, he glanced up to meet Carly’s eyes. After a moment, he lowered his hand back to the table, resting the utensil on his plate.
“There were several brought here and dropped off in the woods illegally about a year ago by an amateur wildlife group trying to repopulate the species. Why?”
“There was a wolf here the other day.” Carly’s face reddened, and she looked down at her plate. “The day my ex-husband... visited. At least I think it was a wolf. It was so big. It might have been something else.” She glanced toward the window. “It came out of nowhere and saved me from Robert. Since I haven’t seen it since that day, I’m kind of... I’m kind of worried about him.” Licking her lips, Carly placed her hands flat on the table before tilting her head to the side to meet his curious look. “Do you think he was one of your friends?”
“He could have been,” Bastien replied with a shrug. “I wouldn’t know if it was one of my friends or not, unless I saw it.”
“You’d let me know if a wolf showed up here injured, wouldn’t you?”
“Of course. If you want me to do so, I will.”
There would be no doubt she’d see one if something injure
d him while in wolf form. He’d have no way of keeping it from her since she’d be the one taking care of his sorry ass. She’d have to, or he and the others would probably die.
His little mate would get a crash course in Learning to Trust Your Lupine Friend that she most likely wouldn’t appreciate a bit.
“As long as you’re sure that’s what you want. If one shows up and you want to see it, I’ll come to get you.”
Bastien realized she’d just given him the perfect opportunity to get her out into the barn to see the animals. He had a wolf out there. It wasn’t her wolf, but she didn’t have to know that until she saw him.
His gut clenched at the thought that she might mistake Kyle for him. Gritting his teeth, he suppressed a growl at the thought. Who knew he could be so jealous?
“Now that you mention it, I have a wolf in the barn now. I didn’t bother to tell you before because I didn’t think you’d be interested.” Turning his attention to his plate, he tried to act nonchalant as he pushed his food around with his fork. “Someone dropped him off a few days ago.”
The day your ex-husband attacked you. He wanted to say those words out loud, to get her used to talking to him about her problems, but he figured she wasn’t ready for that yet.
“All four of his legs were broken. The people who left him think a car hit him. Would you like to go see him after dinner?”
Carly glanced up from her plate, looking at him with fear-filled eyes. “Yes. If you don’t mind, I’d like to see if it’s the same wolf.” She stood and picked up her plate. “When you’re ready, let me know.”
“It’s no problem. Why would I mind?” Bastien wiped his mouth, picked up his plate, and followed her into the kitchen. He was not about to let this opportunity slip through his fingers. “I’ve been hoping that you could work around your fear of the animals to care for them in my absence, should something ever happen to me.”
Carly needed to overcome her fears, and the sooner, the better.
“Me?” She brought her hand to her throat, her eyes wide. “Why me?”
“Because you live here. It would be easier for you than anyone else.”
“Didn’t you like your dinner?” she asked when they got to the sink and eyed his half-full plate.
“Like, it? I loved it. I’m stuffed.” One hand resting over his stomach, he held up his dish. “Remember, this was my third plateful. I’m going to gain weight if you keep feeding me like this.”
“Oh, right.” Red tipped her cheeks as she took his plate and scraped the contents into the garbage bin.
Bastien walked to the door, waiting for her to put the dishes in the sink. “Are you ready to go out to the barn now?”
She nodded, took a deep breath, and gave him a crooked smile. “I’m as ready as I’ll never be, I guess.”
He chuckled at her wry humor. “None of them are going to hurt you. They’re all quite used to humans.”
“They’re still undomesticated.” She rubbed her arms and shivered. “I haven’t even been around very many domesticated animals. Wild animals frighten me more than most.”
What could he say to comfort her? He wasn’t about to tell her the only real animal in the barn was Bosco. Except for that bear, none of the animals in his barn were what they seemed.
Carly stayed by his side on the way out to the barn. No matter how hard he tried to ignore it, her scent drove him crazy. Every time he inhaled, he dragged her luscious scent into his lungs, and his hormones were all over the place.
The animal in him wanted to claim her as his mate. The human in him wanted to be strong enough to let her go if he must. Shoving his hands into his pockets, he clenched them into fists. He wasn’t sure he could be that tough—even if she needed it of him.
How could he have a relationship with a human, knowing there was always the possibility that she would end her existence or run if she found out what he was?
What would she do when she found out she had birthed human-animal hybrids instead of children?
Would he be able to live with himself if she took her own life? Did he have the strength to tell her what he was and live without her when she ran from him?
Could he live an empty existence like his father had been forced to when his mother had ended her life? Pausing for just a moment, Bastien closed his eyes and said a quick prayer before he opened the door to the barn and waited for her to step inside.
“You can do it.”
Carly stopped just outside the door. She bit her lip and looked up at him. “Yes,” she said with a sharp nod. “I can do this.”
Chapter Ten
Can I? Carly stared up at Bastien for a minute and wondered if it was true.
Could she force herself to step inside that barn with all of those animals housed inside? The smell alone was enough to make her balk. It didn’t smell unpleasant. It just smelled of animals.
Bastien kept it quite clean, as barns go. Still, the strong animal smell permeated the structure. Her nose wrinkled at the unfamiliar odor.
“You don’t have to go in there tonight, Carly,” Bastien said as he started closing the door. “There’s always tomorrow.”
She almost let him close up the barn until she got the notion that her wolf was in there, hurt and needy. It made her step forward and stop him with her hand on his arm. The thought gave her pause. Her wolf?
The warmth of his skin warmed her fingers and sent little bolts of electricity up her arm. She snatched her hand back when she realized what she’d done.
“No. I-I’ll go in. I have to see if it’s the same wolf. I have to repay him somehow. He—I think he saved my life that day Robert was here.”
Nothing could convince her otherwise. She was sure Robert had been about to kill her for backtalking him. If she knew one thing about her ex-husband, it was that he absolutely hated her to get sarcastic with him.
“I can do this.” Carly waited a minute to gather her courage, then took another small step into the barn. “I can do this.” Maybe saying it out loud would help to convince herself she was brave enough. She turned to Bastien and smiled—if a bit ruefully. “I’ve never been hurt by an animal. You’d think this unreasonable fear I have would at least be because a dog bit me or something.”
His expression made Carly uncomfortable. It was almost as if he could see inside her to things she’d rather forget. Perhaps he only sensed them. Bastien had proved himself quite astute. Plus, he had already stirred things up within her she’d rather not have to deal with at all.
Carly tried to ignore the fact that he stood just behind her, close enough to touch, and close enough to feel the heat radiating off his body. She paused just inside the door and rubbed at the goosebumps on her arms.
A part of her wished he would take her in his arms. Hold her, maybe even kiss her, and tell her everything would be all right. She jumped when his hands rested on her shoulders, her stomach flip-flopping.
“We should go back inside. You aren’t ready for such a move.” He wrapped his arm around her and steered her back toward the doors.
“What?” Carly half-turned to look up at him. He couldn’t read her mind. Deep down, she knew that. Still, he seemed to know every time she felt uncomfortable. Every time she couldn’t handle things, and he tried to make it better.
Where had he been before she met and married Robert? Was he asking himself the same question about her, or were the emotions she felt one-sided?
“You aren’t ready to see the wolf.” The corner of his mouth lifted in a half-smile. “Some people fear animals because they lost one they loved years ago, and they’re hesitant to love another because they dread another loss. I understand your fear. You will overcome it in time.”
How could he even guess that? Pushing Bastien away, she turned around and practically ran into the barn as visions of the little black and white terrier mutt she had named Lady flashed through her memories.
The interior was dark, and for a moment, she stood in the gloom, trembling. From what, she
wasn’t sure.
Was it from his proximity? Could it be the scent of his cologne, or the heat radiating off his body, seeping into hers? Was it the memories she’d buried so deeply, hoping she’d never have to revisit them?
Bastien stepped into the barn behind her, and after a soft click, the overhead fluorescent bulbs winked to life and filled the barn with flickering light. He led her to a stall about halfway down the barn’s central walkway.
There was a big metal kennel inside with a large, gray, and brown wolf in it. The animal looked up at her and whimpered, its eyes sad and its thick tail thumping listlessly against the wooden floor.
“Don’t believe a word he tells you, Carly. I’ve been taking exceptional care of him.” Bastien glared at the wolf. “No telling stories, Kyle.”
“You’ve named him?”
He shook his head and pointed to a chain around the wolf’s neck. “I didn’t name him. Some other misguided soul named that lone wolf.”
Carly squinted into the cage. Bastien was right. On a chain around its neck was a small tag that read Kyle.
“Who would keep such a beautiful animal as a pet?” she asked, leaning down to get a closer look. She sighed. “It’s not the same wolf from the other day. My wolf was darker.” She turned to look up at Bastien and tilted her head.
“Now that I think about it, I’m pretty sure his coat was similar in color to your hair.” She frowned with a little shake of her head.
“I think I would know him anywhere. He looked at me, and we made some sort of connection.” She bit her lip, hoping he didn’t think she’d lost her mind. “As crazy as it might sound, there was something in his eyes.”
Chapter Eleven
Bastien turned away before Carly realized he and her wolf shared more than hair color. What she had seen in his eyes was the adoration one of his species felt for a mate while in wolf form. That had to be it. It had been difficult for him to leave her while he was still a wolf.
His other half had known she had been injured, known she needed help. It had taken every ounce of his self-discipline to leave her and wander off into the woods that day.
Embracing Carly Page 4
