by Lauren Dane
“Don’t baby her. Everyone babies her. She needs to accept what is true. She’s a grown woman, and she has to choose her freaking future. Garrett, whose anger will turn on her some day? Or us? The truth? And we need to be a united front to make sure everything happens the way it should and Vernon Hicks is the one behind bars. This is a big job and you’ve done it alone long enough. The three of us can do the job together.”
“You’re an admirable young man, Quique.”
“Did he really call me that?”
“Everyone called you that. Mom did, Mindy and I did.”
“Where did Shep come from? That’s all I ever remember.”
“Grandma used to call you that. She felt Quique and Enrique were too hard to pronounce. She said she liked it because Shepard was her paternal grandmother’s name.”
“I’m going back to Mendoza. I’ve thought about it for a while.”
She looked at her brother. “You don’t need to decide right now. Baby steps and we’ll get through this just fine. It’s your name if you want it. If you don’t, that’s not a thing either. Understand?”
He hugged Caroline again. “I do. I love you. I have a final in my last period so I gotta get back to school. I’ll call you.”
She watched them drive away as she leaned in to Royal.
“I can’t quite believe it.”
Royal brought her back inside, closing the door and locking it.
“You’re afraid to believe it.”
“Yeah, that too.”
He turned off lights and the coffeemaker and drew her back to the bedroom. “No way, buster. I have to go to work. I can’t be taking fuck breaks.”
He laughed but after he stole a kiss, he sobered. “You’re not going in.”
“Am so.”
“Oooh, will you say that and stomp so your boobs jiggle? It’d be even better if you pouted a little.”
Her brows flew up, and Royal knew he was on the right track. Ever since he’d met her, she’d kept a tight rein on her feelings about the whole mess she’d pretty much dragged single-handedly over the finish line. In the end people helped her, yes, but it was her dogged perseverance that won out.
But he knew she pushed her emotions—vulnerability, doubts and fears, her survivor’s guilt, her grief and her anger—out of her mind. To examine them would have been to pull her foundations down when she needed to keep strong.
But she paid a price for it. A big one and he was over watching her bear everyone else’s weight and never thinking about dropping her burdens every once in a while.
And you needed to. It was a safety valve that prevented you from exploding.
“So here’s a thing, the police just arrested the man responsible for killing your mother when you were just fifteen years old. The same guy who let your dad go to prison. The one who tore your family apart. He’s why Quique is Shep now and why Mindy is with a dingus like Garret. And then he stalked you and hurt you and made you scared all the time. The man who did all that damage to you is finally known and in jail.”
“Yes.” She was aiming at bland, he could tell, but she missed that by a mile. “But I still have to go to work.”
“There’ll be work tomorrow and Sunday and Monday and beyond, now that the piece of human garbage who has terrorized you for sixteen years is finally fucking dealt with.”
“I can’t do this right now.”
“Just another week. Or another month. Just until we figure out who the guy is. Just until he’s arrested. Now it’s what? Just until trial? Just until he’s sentenced? Goes to prison? How long, Caroline, are you going to push fifty percent of what you should feel away, and when is it going to break through? Vernon Hicks killed your mother. She would have been scared and in pain. And alone on that floor as Hicks walked away like she was nothing. Your poor father. Walking in on that? Of course he was incoherent for a while. And then he got railroaded and sent off to death row. And your entire life continued to just plummet as you refused to believe your father was guilty, and your grandparents, grief laden and selfish, pushed you away for it instead of trying to deal with it head-on. And then, you had to leave here. Leave everything you ever knew, and while the Mendozas love you, you had this whole side of your life you needed so badly and it just wasn’t there.” He pushed her to the mattress where she watched him through exhausted, wary eyes.
He slid her shoes off. “You’re driven though. And they love you and support you, and you get yourself into UCLA and then off to law school because sure it’ll be a good career, you’ll have way more expertise to use to aid your father. It wasn’t until later that you discovered you loved the law, but at the start you just did it for him. And you went through appeals that didn’t go anywhere. Disappointment after disappointment made all the worse because there was evidence that no one even freaking looked at. And then your father, who should have been here with you all along but for Vernon Hicks, well, he gets cancer and dies and you can’t hug him again or hear his voice or walk with him out those prison gates, though you imagined that moment thousands of times.
“You alone get it in a way that estranges you. So you bottle it all up and pretend it doesn’t matter, all while carrying everyone else’s shit and then this fucker turns up again and he stalks you, terrorizes you and hurts you. Your grandparents are assholes. And yet you keep going.”
He pulled his shirt off, and when her attention was on his chest, he unbuttoned her blouse and exposed the pretty camisole she wore underneath.
“That guy is finally in jail. And he confessed. And there’s all sorts of evidence. It is okay to be proud of all you’ve done. And it’s okay to let yourself weep for the mother you lost. For her pain and her fear and for every day since that you’ve lost some new memory you should have made with her. And it’s okay to let yourself weep for the father who loved you so damned much and died in prison no matter how hard you tried to free him. It is bittersweet. It is sad and unfair and good and all those things. Don’t let feeling all those things about this continue to be taboo. Let it go. I’m here and I have you.”
Her eyes had widened, and her mouth trembled at the edges as they slid down. She made a gasping hiccupping sound and then a ragged sob tore through her as she crumpled. Royal got on the bed and pulled her close.
This was a person who had held in such deep sorrow for so long it seemed to rip from her with each exhale. He held her tight as she clung to him like he was the only thing keeping her from drowning.
Her sobs and the aftershock of hiccups and phantom gasps began to slow and then ease as she relaxed, her breathing going very deep.
He kissed her forehead. “Close your eyes, Caro, and let it all go. Sleep a bit and we’ll face the rest.”
Caroline snuffled, snuggling into his body as close as she could before she fell into sleep, and once he knew she’d made it safely, he closed his eyes and joined her, his heart aching for all the pain she had to suffer.
An hour or so later, Caroline and Royal woke up, and she shifted to look up at the ceiling.
“It’s so unfair. There is no way to make it better.” Her voice was scratchy from sleep and crying.
“Nope. All you can do is honor their memory, which you already do.”
Royal Watson was her one. She didn’t want to go back to what their relationship had been like before. It was nice dating him, but living with him had been wonderful. Not just safe, but she loved the house, the view, the kitchen, his kooky shoulder-riding cat. This place had become one that felt hers.
“I don’t want to move back to my apartment,” she said quietly.
He stilled. “You’re moving back to Seattle?”
“What? No! I’m not moving away from Petal. I just…I like it here. With you.”
He hugged her tight. “Oh. Well yes, of course. I want you here too. I was planning on always being busy when you wanted to go back to your apartment, and you’d just give up and stay. Or maybe I was going to come out and ask you to live with me.”
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�I asked you instead.”
“We’ll go through your storage unit to find things you want to bring here. We can get your photos reframed and hang them. I want this to be our place. I love you. I want to build a future with you that does not include you being in danger all the time.”
She fist bumped him. “You and me both. There’s more to go, you know. The trial, all that. The craziness with my grandparents, I don’t know how that’s going to work out. I’m giving you one last chance to bolt. After this I’m clinging to you like a barnacle.”
He laughed. “I’m all yours to cling on to. I know your life has had a lot of upheaval, so let me be your steady ground, your safe space. Where you know you can be and be loved and cherished. You can count on me.”
She smiled, turning into his hold to hug him and bury her face in his neck, breathing him in. “I love you for that.”
“Love you too, darlin’.”
Epilogue
Eight months later
Caroline stood up after brushing off the marbled face of the new headstone they’d put next to Bianca’s. Their father at her side as he was meant to be all these years.
Royal stood with her, handing over the flowers. Caroline put the creamy white calla lilies on the marker and lilacs on her mother’s.
Mindy put white roses on his stone and yellow ones on their mother’s. Shep laid lilies on both markers.
The siblings stood back for their father’s family to come forward. Each brother, sister and their abuela left things or said a few quiet words. It had been a way to put closure on the situation. Enrique finally buried with his wife as their wills had called for. He was home.
First Shep had traveled to Los Angeles with Caroline to meet his father’s family, and then Mindy had. Both had been taken in with a lot of love, which made Caroline happy.
The trial had closed three days prior with a guilty verdict. The sentencing was the following week. Vernon Hicks would likely die in prison. Which was just fine with Caroline.
There was an FBI task force that had added Hicks to its list. They had found at least three female murder victims they believed carried a connection to Hicks. Caroline tried not to dwell on any what-ifs when it came to Hicks and his fascination with her. He was gone.
“Come on back to the house for lunch, everyone,” Caroline called out to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery.
Edward hugged Caroline. “I’m so proud of you.”
“Me?”
“Of course. Look at this. Just take a moment and look over this crowd.”
She did. There were at least ten Mendozas who’d come to Petal. Her brother and his new girlfriend he’d met at college. Mindy, who’d finally broken off with Garrett and was focused on finishing school before deciding to date again. A whole passel of Chases, including Shane. Justin was there, as was Peter. Murphys abounded as well. Newly married Beth and Joe. Anne, who’d grown to be one of Caroline’s closest friends. Melissa was there, but she and Clint had broken up the summer before.
Friends, her intentional family, really. And they had come to put a period at the end of this long life sentence.
And there was Royal. In a suit. Lordy. Handsome and in charge. People paused to speak with him often, but his attention was on Caroline. Worried about her, she knew. She hadn’t been feeling well on top of an already difficult situation.
She had, indeed counted on him. And he’d never broken his promise to be there.
“This is because of you, Caroline. It’s easy to give up. It’s easy to give in when things get really hard. But you never gave up. You made this happen. That’s phenomenal.”
“Thank you. And thank you for being a mentor to me and opening your family the way you have.”
Over the year she’d been in Petal she’d done her part to make the firm even healthier. She loved her job. Edward encouraged her, challenged her, and he and Polly had adopted her into their huge brood. He was far less like a boss and far more like a father. Which had worked out because she dug having a father, and certainly Edward Chase was a spiffy dad.
“Did you see them?” Edward pointed to her grandparents who stood a ways off.
Most of the time she loved Petal. She and her siblings had a real relationship. Though making up with Mindy had been emotional, it had been worth the pain. Caroline and her grandfather had started playing online chess six months back. After a while, they agreed to coffee. They met once every few weeks for an afternoon cinnamon roll and some hot chocolate.
Her grandmother though hadn’t spoken a word to her since that night when Shane had come over. The night they’d identified Vernon Hicks.
“I didn’t. Are you and Polly coming out to the house?”
“We are, definitely. I’ll see you over there.” Edward kissed her cheek, and then Polly hugged her and they headed off to their car.
Royal approached. “The Lassiters are here.” He took her hands. “You want to go over there? I can come with you or wait here.”
In other words I’m not leaving you here to do this on your own. She was so lucky.
“Come on.”
Hand in hand they approached her grandparents.
“Hey, Grandpa.” She looked to her grandmother and nodded.
Abigail spoke. “It’s a nice stone. I saw it yesterday. We were here as they installed it. She’d have liked that.”
“Thank you.”
“Would you come to dinner sometime?” her grandmother asked. “Both of you, I mean.”
“Yes.”
Her grandmother licked her lips and gave a tip of her chin to indicate she was pleased. In the background Caroline heard people moving back to their cars and realized they needed to head back to the house. She thought about inviting them but she didn’t know that the Mendozas were ready for that yet. Caroline was pretty sure she wasn’t ready for that yet either.
So she didn’t. She and Royal stepped back. “Thank you for coming.”
“I’ll be in touch about dinner.”
Caroline nodded. “Okay.”
And then it was over, and she and Royal were on the way back to their house to be with all their loved ones.
“You all right?” Royal asked.
“You know, I think I am.”
“Good. Because I think you need to marry me.”
She nearly choked on the lifesaver she’d been sucking on. “How did you know? I don’t want you to marry me just because I’m pregnant.”
“You’re pregnant?”
“You didn’t know?”
“What the hell?” He pulled off the road and shifted to face her. “You’re pregnant?”
“I’ve been sick for three weeks. I’ve been stressed. But when Melissa came over this morning, she made me take a pregnancy test.”
He unbuckled his seatbelt and she was in his arms as he kissed her. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me!”
“I just found out four hours ago! I have a houseful of people. I was going to tell you when we were alone.”
“Well now I’m doubly asking you to marry me.”
“You really wanted to before you knew I was pregnant?”
“Didn’t I just ask you before I knew? I’ve wanted to ask you for four months but I figured it would be best to wait until after the trial, and then just now it felt like I had to ask or burst.”
“Yeah. I’ll marry you. And have your babies who will ride around on your four wheeler and get muddy with you.”
“Awesome.”
People began to honk and slow down, wondering why the trip to the house had been interrupted. Laughing, Royal kissed her one last time before he pulled back onto the road. And this time when she passed that piece of empty lot, she wished they were there to celebrate, but she didn’t feel like she’d break anymore.
She had a life and a future with this man she’d fallen for when he’d reached a high shelf for her. And the next generation they would build together.
About the Author
The story goes like this:
While on pregnancy bed rest, Lauren Dane had plenty of down time. Her husband took her comments about “giving that writing thing a serious go” to heart and brought home a secondhand laptop. She wrote her first book on it before it gave up the ghost. Even better, she sold that book and never looked back.
Today Lauren is a New York Times and USA Today bestselling author of over sixty novels and novellas across several genres.
Look for these titles by Lauren Dane
Now Available:
Chase Brothers
Giving Chase
Taking Chase
Chased
Making Chase
Petal, Georgia
Once and Again
Lost In You
Cascadia Wolves
Wolf Unbound
Standoff
Fated
Trinity
Unconditional
de La Vega Cats
Trinity
Revelation
Beneath The Skin
Reading Between the Lines
Holiday Seduction
To Do List
Sweet Charity
Always
He’s faced down every demon…except one fast-talking Southern girl.
Lost in You
© 2013 Lauren Dane
Petal, Georgia, Book 2
It hasn’t been easy for Joe Harris to live down his not-so-honorable past, but the military made him a better man. He’s determined to make up for past mistakes, starting with coming home to care for his ailing father.
Things are going as planned until his best friend’s little sister comes barreling into his life. Funny, quick talking, smart, beautiful, she’s a temptation he tries—and fails—to resist.
When Beth Murphy hears Joe is back in town, she makes sure she’s the first on his welcoming committee. Though he tries to pretend he’s gruff and unworthy of her, she sees the man who spoils his dog, who touches her like she’s precious. Cherished. But there’s one wall she can’t break down—the truth about what’s happening at home.
