He'd come in while I was in the shower. A giggle escaped from my lips. I'd been so absorbed lathering and exfoliating that I wouldn't have noticed a bomb going off. But my moment of joy was taken as a stab of dread slipped into my gut. It was one of those nasty little knives that life sends to shake us from our enjoyment of the moment.
The towel fell to the floor and with it, my mood. The baskets, this gorgeous bathroom and all this luxury...it would hurt when I didn't have it. It would hurt to be back in my dark suite with me always wondering when the rug would be pulled from under my feet. Would Beatrice and Ronnie suddenly decide they didn't need the money and I'd be left with another unstable and unhappy situation? The emotion hit me, dragging me under to drown in its cruelty. I had a hole inside that never filled. It was a wound, open and sore that waited for the next grain of salt to hit its surface, sending that familiar pain I'd become so used to, at times I thought I craved it.
The marble of the floor was cool under the palm of my hand. I knelt, keeping my hand against that slab of rock, of solid, that convinced me I was here and not dreaming, drifting off into never land.
Minutes later I rose, knowing that if I didn't appear, Nix would seek me out, but it was too late. A soft knock and without waiting, he entered the room.
I snatched the towel, bringing it swiftly around my body.
"I'm not ready."
"Why are you crying? Rachel, I could feel all that..." He pointed to the floor, to me and his heart.
I listened to my heart, the beating coming as if from a distance, like I wasn't inside my own body. The space between us filled to the point where air didn't have enough room to exist.
Then he was before me, gently shaking my shoulders, his touch on my flesh waking me to the present.
"Rachel, are you hearing me?" His expression see-sawed between frustration and fear. Suddenly, he held up the note I'd had in my jeans. "I didn't leave the rose or the chocolates, or this. Why didn't you tell me about this?"
I backed away, gripping the towel, until I met with the wall. My instincts told me that with anyone else, he'd already have gone over the edge, and was holding himself together.
"I don't want it to end...I can't take having to go back to that place. It's too hard, my life is too hard." I swallowed, feeling the steam and wet from my shower on the wall where my shoulders made contact. Why was I unraveling? Why now?
Nix hesitated for only a second and then he was holding up a robe.
"Here, put this on." He held it so I could keep covered while I slipped it on. I brought it around my body, letting the towel drop to the floor. The robe was warm, as if it had been sitting over a heater and it felt amazing. He reached, pulling the belt, securing it around my waist, and then I was in his arms.
"I don't know who sent the note. I didn't tell you because I was afraid. I'm tired, Nix and I don't want anyone or anything to wreck this. I've never had anything like this, do you get that?" I stared into his eyes, knowing I'd never be able to capture their color in a drawing. How could you capture something that lived in the ether?
"With anyone else..." He shook his head. "I would have taken them apart for not telling me, but not you." The muscles along his neck moved in a wave-like motion as he swallowed. He was struggling.
"Why?" I held tight, needing his nearness and strength.
"Because it was you, Rachel, you take me apart. Do you believe I'd let anyone hurt you?"
I sighed hard enough that he backed away, staring at me in disbelief.
"I know you'd protect me, but..."
"But what? Take a look around you—I want to give you the world, Rachel." He stopped, shutting his eyes, jaw clenched. "Once again, do you know who left this note? Was someone here in the room?"
"No I don't and I'm scared. It might be Yuri, or Rein." I offered, hoping he'd have a better idea.
"It might be Caspian." He spoke low, turning away. "You aren't going to like this, but we might have to alter our arrangements."
What did he mean by that? Was he saying we had to leave? My whole body tensed. It was my fallback when I felt something bad coming. If we did have to go, I wanted to at least have lunch and be wearing that dress—even if that was all there would be.
"I should dress," I said, feeling awkward in the robe.
"I'll wait in my room. Please, don't rush." He came close, kissing me on the forehead. "Everything is fine, Rachel."
I didn't know who he was trying to convince, me or him.
Chapter Two
It fit and the material draped beautifully over my body, leaving me in awe of the dress.
"So this is what it's like to have nice things." The high heels brought me up a couple of inches and the result was good. I'd blow-dried my hair and secured it into a knot. The only make-up I'd used was to accent my eyes and go over my lips with a light shade of lipstick.
I was about to go to Nix's side when I caught my reflection in the full-length mirror.
Older. I didn't look like a teenager in jeans and a T-shirt, but a young woman, elegant and lovely.
I heard his breath before his words. Nix was standing over by the door. He let out a long, slow whistle.
"You are beautiful."
He'd changed into a white dress shirt and black dress pants, a dinner jacket slung over his shoulder. He looked like an advertisement for sexy, elegant everything.
I felt the flush come over my skin, but didn't respond to his compliment. I'd never had a dress like this before. Rein and I had gone out to some of the nicer restaurants, but I'd only ever had a nice dress blouse and a simple skirt. Nix had brought this to another level. He'd made certain I felt good about myself and it was a strange, flighty feeling. It was like looking out over a steep cliff knowing I was safe because there was a thick pane of glass between me and the drop. That pane of glass was Nix and he wouldn't let me fall.
A slow smile came over his handsome features and I had to steel myself. This man...this creature was with me and he was gorgeous. Before, next to him, I'd felt plain, but not today, not now. Now I felt as if I'd be walking on equal footing with him.
"Don't you ever doubt how lovely you are, Rachel." He held his arm out for me to take. I took it, realizing something was missing—a clutch. My current purse had seen a few years and would look awful with this dress. I didn't want to take it into a formal dining room.
"It's on the bed and there is a little surprise inside for you." He guided me to the bed. Sure enough, an exquisite silver beaded clutch was waiting. I picked it up, taking in the fine detail. He'd thought out every last detail. When I saw the design on the upper left corner, I nearly dropped the clutch. In red beadwork was the same symbol I had on my neck, a dragon rising from a fire with the initials V and R surrounded by a heart.
My neck! I hadn't thought to cover it and with the lower neckline of the dress, it would be on display. I put my hand over the branding, trying to come up with a way to keep it covered.
Nix gently took my hand away.
"You don't have to worry, no one will say anything. Trust me about that. There is a gift for you inside the clutch. I hope you like it." He stepped back, allowing me space.
My hands shook as I opened the purse.
"You really don't need to give me anything. You've given me so much already, Nix." But I was excited to see the small jeweler's box nestled inside the clutch. It wasn't the same shape as a ring box and I sighed out without thinking.
Nix bent, his face coming within inches of mine.
"Not yet, but soon, Rachel." He winked his expression one of knowing.
"I didn't think it was a ring." I tilted my head up at Nix, licking around my lips. His gaze held mine as he took the clutch from my hand, leading me to the bed.
"Please sit, I wish to present this properly." His hands were on my hips, guiding me to sit on the end of the bed. Nix knelt on the carpet. He removed the small jeweler's box and then set the clutch beside me, his movements precise and graceful. I still couldn't break his gaze.
Then I heard the small clicking sound as he opened the box. Finally I broke away, my gaze going to the box.
"Rachel, I would ask that you accept this gift. I wanted you to have jewelry to go with your dress and I hope you like what I have chosen."
There was that formality again. So old-world, and it ate me up inside. I'd never get tired of hearing him speak.
Earrings and a necklace in butter-yellow gold lay against the crushed velvet lining of the box.
"This is beautiful." I went to touch it, but couldn't quite get my hand to cooperate. My hand hovered above the set as though an invisible barrier held me back. "Are those...?" I pointed to the gemstones adorning the necklace and earrings.
"Rubies with tiny diamonds, yes, are you pleased?" Nix's eyes lit up as he gazed at me.
"Oh my God, this is too much, Nix. I can't accept..."
"Yes you can and I would be very upset if you refused my gift."
"Why rubies?" I was curious as to why he'd chosen that particular stone.
Nix smiled as if he'd expected that exact question. "They're the color of blood and blood is life. You are life to me, Rachel." He took the necklace from the box. "Here, allow me to put this on you. Come with me to the mirror."
I went with him, still holding the box with the earrings.
Nix stood behind me in the mirror and I watched as his hands came around with the necklace. I blinked, realizing for the first time that I could see him in the mirror.
"You have a reflection!"
He paused, securing the small clasp. "Yes I do. I told you before, that your books and movies aren't accurate."
"I thought you'd be invisible—"
"Only when I want to be, Rachel, only when I want to be." His gaze touched me, and then his lips came hot against my skin. He played with the wisps of hair that curled at the nape of my neck. "I love how you did your hair; it allows me access to your neck. I've been drinking you in with my eyes and you leave me hungry, not for food, but for you. Would you allow me to feed before we go for lunch?"
Shivers fanned out over my body. I nodded, trying to keep my grip on the jeweler's box.
"Here, let me take this." He closed the lid, tossing it onto the bed. "Lean back against my body, I'll hold you up, and don't worry about your dress, I won't waste a drop. I want you to watch me."
I went back, feeling his arms come round and the touch of his gaze as he stared at me. "I love how the material drapes over your curves, like its holding your body."
Suddenly I wasn't hungry anymore, not for food. I fell into his eyes, my breaths shallow, and my nerves on edge in anticipation.
It was like a scene from a movie unfolding before me, but I was here and this was real. He leaned in and his tongue came out, the little prongs extending until they made contact with the branding. I jolted as they went in, feeling Nix's strong arms supporting me. Again, it was lightning going through me, followed by wave after wave of pleasure. My legs gave, but Nix had me. Somewhere in my haze I heard the sounds he made while feeding on my blood—small grunts as though the act of consuming brought him pleasure.
"Open your eyes for me, Rachel. I need to see your eyes," Nix whispered. He'd broken contact with the symbol, the prongs receding into his tongue. "Did you enjoy that?" He licked his lips clean of my blood.
"Yes, please don't let go of me. I don't think I could stand." Pure glowing emotion filled his eyes.
"I'll never let you go, Rachel." He said it matter-of-factly, like it had been decided a thousand years ago. Nix slipped one finger underneath the necklace, holding it up. The rubies and diamonds caught in the light. "Blood and life, they are one and the same."
After a few more moments, I was able to stand on my own.
"Would you prefer to have lunch privately, here in the room?"
"No, I just need a few minutes to compose myself, excuse me." I took the jeweler's box from the bed and made a bee-line for the bathroom. I closed the door, going to the sink and the mirror. The woman staring back at me was changed. I lifted my hand to my face, my gaze following the motion in the mirror.
Who was I? It seemed the young woman that had waited for Rein's calls and lived for any time he would spend with her had gone. She'd simply left and here I was, the new Rachel, elegantly dressed and finding her footing in a world where Nix wanted to give everything. It was almost too much, the clothes, the clutch, the jewelry. Yes, he'd given gifts along the way when I'd needed them, but this was different. I stared deep into my own eyes, finding a truth there that stung. Rein hadn't worried about me being cold in the winter. He hadn't offered to help pay for a warm coat, not even on terms of me paying him back over time. He'd walked beside me on the beach in the brisk fall temperatures, in his new hiking boots while I'd had on old boots with two pairs of socks.
How could I have been so blind? How could I have been so hungry for crumbs? Ah, but that is what you become when you aren't valued, when you aren't cared for. You'll take the smallest crumb when you're starving and there are many out there that look for those with empty eyes and hungry hearts. There are those that would prey on someone knowing how bad their situation is and all because they can. People like Tristan and Crista, who had everything, but it was never enough. They needed to hurt someone in order to feel good, to feel something.
I pushed the thoughts away, holding tight to the counter edge. I wasn't going to allow any past poison to ruin my day or my stay at this amazing mansion. Quickly I wet a facecloth and dabbed at my neck and face. I fixed my hair, concentrating on getting myself presentable for the dining room. Once I'd plucked, straightened and fussed, I stepped back. Something was missing—the earrings. I put them on, loving how they sparkled when I moved my head.
But I knew my subconscious wasn't through with me, not by a long shot. It would continue to mine those precious gems of past and lay them bare for me to find their pain once more. The more Nix did for me, the more he gave me and the better he treated me, the more that survivalist part of my psyche would come out clawing, trying to put Rachel in her place again. I had to fight—to believe I was worth all of this and more—most importantly not from Nix, but from me.
A soft knocking brought me back.
"Rachel, are you okay? Do you need anything?"
"Coming." I refreshed my lipstick and went out.
∞
We were in the elevator, going down to the main floor.
"Will we be attacked?" I heard the ring as the elevator reached the floor. The doors opened and the lobby was before us.
A tall man in a formal red and black uniform stood to the side.
"Are you lunching today, Count?"
Count?
Nix shot the man a look and ushered me along.
"Yes, Oscar, I've already booked a table, I didn't want to be caught in the rush."
"Very good, sir, I will show you in." Oscar led the way, his confident stride and rigid posture almost comical.
The dining room was separated from the main building by glass walls. We reached an elaborate stained glass paneled door. One side sat propped open. There were numerous massive potted plants, all real and all decorated with wonderful lights. Evergreen boughs sat along the top of the entrance, fragrant and filled with red velvet ornaments and more lights. Apparently, whoever ran this place was really into Christmas.
"Very smart to book ahead, Count, it being Christmas and one of our busiest times." Oscar bowed to us, motioning with his hand to go inside.
"Thank you, Oscar; I appreciate your good service." Nix ushered me inside the foyer. I heard water trickling and turned to find a fountain in the corner, surrounded by plants. Before I could ask anything, another man came rushing up to the small Maitre d'hôtel desk where a large and book sat open. The pages were curled up at the edges, with a yellowish tinge along the side of the paper. Was it old or made to appear that way?
"Count, we almost gave away your table. Usually you are more prompt." Two menus materialized in his hand and he gestured for us to follow him. "Pl
ease, follow me."
Nix went first and I followed, blinking to allow my eyes to adjust to the dim lighting. The room was enormous and filled with round tables draped in heavy white linen. Chandeliers hung above the room, their crystal adornments sparkling out, announcing their presence. The chairs were old and carved with red velvet material on their seat and back cushions. It was over-the-top old-world charm and I loved it. What struck me as odd was that there wasn't another soul in this great room except for Nix, myself and the Maitre d'hôtel.
He sat us, taking his time and using far too many gestures and fussing each step. Finally, he handed Nix one menu and me the other.
"I recommend the pan-seared chicken breasts with shallots. I will bring the wine list." He bowed low and left us.
Nix already had his menu open.
"Nix," I whispered, trying to get his attention.
He lowered the menu down to peer at me. "Yes, darling, what is it?"
"There is no one here. We are the only two in this room." Hadn't he noticed? How could you miss being the only two people in a room this size?
He glanced about. "I don't understand, is something the matter?"
"Oscar said Christmas is one of their busiest times and that Maitre d'hôtel said he almost gave away your table. We are the only people in this restaurant."
At that moment, the Maitre d'hôtel came back with a wine list.
"Give me a few moments." He waited until the Maitre d'hôtel had left before continuing. "This is the busy season, Rachel and I didn't want to chance not getting in."
What was I missing?
"How could we not get a table?"
"Rachel, I don't wish to banter. I want to have lunch and enjoy your company. Do you like the decor? I love it here, it reminds me of simpler times when life was lived more fully."
Was this a game? Was it some joke they were all in on? Was I being led along until finally they'd all break out laughing about how easily I'd been duped?
"Nix, what is going on here? Tell me."
Nix leaned over the table. "Rachel, keep your voice down, do you want to attract attention?" Those wonderful brows of his were knit tight and he held his mouth firm.
Abby's Road Part 1 Page 2
