by Neil LaBute
Terry Nothing. That you were here and in for a while, that’s all. ’S court-appointed or something … right? It doesn’t really matter – you’ve done so much shit it all just blends …
Drew … I’m sure.
Terry They said you mentioned some stuff in session that … stuff that also would be of interest to me.
Drew Ahhh. Got it.
Terry Yeah, and so I drove down. I drove here today so that we could … you know. Talk about it.
Drew … They didn’t really say ‘stuff’, did they? No offence, but that’s not very professional if they did.
Terry Drew … don’t bust my balls, OK? It was something like that … ‘issues’ or ‘problems’ or some damn thing. I don’t remember now. It sounded urgent so I hopped in my Skylark and dragged my ass down here for four hours. / To be with you …
Drew Thanks, man. / I appreciate that.
Terry Yeah. You know … yeah.
Drew Not that I want you to see me in this place, but hey, that’s part of my recovery, to get past the whole vanity thing. Be in touch with the ‘real’ me …
Terry Sounds good.
Drew Don’t lie – that sounds gay even to me and I have a far greater threshold for that stuff than you do …
Terry Well, that’s true!
For the first time in a while the two brothers laugh at something together. Drew suddenly pounces on Terry.
Bit of horseplay erupts – pushing and shoving. Wrestling.
… Faggot! / Get off me! / Well, you always did know, right?
Drew Come on! / Ohh, dude! / What’s that?
Terry When something’s queer or not … you’ve got this, like … / Yes!
Drew Gay-dar? / Oh yeah, I’m the king of that kind of stuff. The gay-osity of things!
Terry I figured.
Drew I’m super-gay when it comes to all that crap! / Curtains and cologne and shit … I’m a home furnishings fag.
Terry Exactly! / Haha! When you gonna do the ol’ ‘out of the closet’ deal? I still got all that part to look forward to, don’t I?
Drew Fuck yeah! / We’ll have ourselves a big party and everything … fly Mom out for it, even.
Terry I knew it! / … Sounds great …
Drew She can make some stuffed peppers for us … (Falls to ground.) Ahhh!
Terry … and you can help her – being the big queen that you are now. / (Pins Drew down.) Slip on your Bloomingdale’s apron and just go to town!
Drew Course! / You got it … Oww! Oww! Stitches, bro. Stitches …
The two men slowly stop, letting the moment pass – trying to keep it light. Drew gingerly touches his Band-Aid.
Terry … Here. (Helps Drew up.) Anyways.
Drew Yeah. Anyway. (Beat.) Nothing like a couple fag jokes to help break the ice, right? / (Smiles.) Yep.
Terry Good times. / So … (Beat.) What’s up?
Drew Nothing.
Terry Uh-uh, try again. Now.
Drew I’m … Dude, you are a tad intense, anybody ever say that to you?
Terry Don’t call me ‘dude’. Really …
Drew Whatever.
Terry I mean it. (Beat.) I’m waiting to hear, Drew, so come on …
Drew It’s not a big deal! I was in for a seventy-two-hour observation and they … you know, chose to extend – at gunpoint. (Grins.) … So I’m embracing the thing and I’ll be here as long as it takes this time. That’s a promise.
Terry Fine. / That’s great, Drew.
Drew I’m gonna kick the pills and everything. / Yep. Simple as that.
Terry Nothing is simple. Simple’s not even simple any more …
Drew ’S that right?
Terry Yep.
Drew Sorry, didn’t get the memo …
Terry Yeah, well, you best keep up, bro. World is changing on us, each and every second, so it pays to keep a close eye on things …
Drew I hear ya.
Terry Uh-huh … (Beat.) So?
Drew What?
Drew stares at Terry for a minute, a grin dropping off his face in waves. Terry doesn’t say a word.
You’re right, man … you are shit at transitions.
Terry Yep. (Beat.) So I’m gonna ask you again, and then after that, that’s when I’m gonna get pissed and start in on the angry part of this.
Drew Terry …
Terry Drew – why the fuck am I here right now? Tell me.
Drew … Come on, dude.
Terry You’re pushing it. You are, like, really pushing me here.
Drew It’s embarrassing.
Terry I’m sure it is … I mean, wait’ll this gets around your office! I don’t care if it’s a private wing or not – people are gonna talk.
Drew I don’t mind about that. / Who do I know that their opinions are gonna matter to me? Huh?
Terry Oh, sure … / Somebody …
Drew Who?! (Grins.) I don’t have a boss, I’m fucking rich … and my wife and kids’ve already heard. (Beat.) Only person I was nervous about telling was you.
Terry … And here I am.
Drew Exactly.
Terry And why is that?
Drew What?
Terry Why am I here, Drew? At this place with you, out in the woods, right now?
Drew Because, man … because I’m …
Terry Good, that’s good. Get it out.
Drew Don’t patronise me, big brother.
Terry Then just fucking say it, OK? This is getting a little silly …
Drew OK, fine. OK. I need you, alright? That’s why …
Terry What’s that mean?
Drew I’m … What does it usually mean? / I’m reaching out here …
Terry I dunno. / Fuck you are.
Drew That hurts, dude …
Terry Yeah, well, then put a bandage on it because it’s already starting to stink … (Beat.) You don’t need anybody, not one person, and you have proved that a thousand times over, baby brother …
Drew Wow.
Terry Uh-huh, wow’s right. I get about two calls a year from you – and since it’s not Christmas or the week after my fucking birthday – why don’t you go ahead, enlighten me?
Drew … Fine. (Beat.) I need you to do something for me. Is that what you were looking to hear? That better?
Terry ‘Better’ is pretty relative – but at least it’s honest. You need me to do you a favour, that sounds more believable than this other … shit you’ve been pitching my way. / Right?
Drew … S’pose so. (Shrugs.) / Yep.
Terry So, tell me, I’ll see what I can do … if it gets me back for the first inning, you can probably count on it happening.
Drew sits down on the steps and fiddles with his ID bracelet for a bit. Terry waits, silent.
Drew … I just need you to tell ’em the truth about something, back me up on some stuff. / That’s it.
Terry ‘Truth’. / Well, that shouldn’t be too hard … for me.
Drew What’s that mean?
Terry Well, the ‘truth’ is not exactly your specialty … is it? / But if you’ve got the whatever-you-call-it – wool – pulled over their eyes then that wouldn’t surprise me … par for the fucking course.
Drew Dude … / Ya know what, man, forget it.
Terry Fine.
Drew Seriously.
Terry Happy to. Take care, pal … Enjoy the fucking cold cuts.
Terry starts off, but Drew moves out in front of him; not blocking him exactly, but in the way. Terry steps back.
Drew … Terry, come on.
Terry Don’t suppose you wanna go to your art therapy with a broken nose, so I’d step outta my way.
Stalemate as the two men stare at each other – just after Terry moves, Drew speaks:
Drew … It’s about Todd. Todd Astin.
Terry comes to a quick stop. Freezes. He slowly turns.
I told them about him. / Come on …
Terry What? / … I don’t follow …
Drew Todd Astin.
&nb
sp; Terry I know his name, you don’t have to keep saying the name, OK? (Beat.) I wanna know why you just said it …
Drew It’s about when we were kids.
Terry And?
Drew And nothing, except for all the, you know … his …
Terry What?
Drew I told ’em about the stuff that he … I had to, you know, had to get some shit off my chest.
Terry People don’t have to do anything. Not at all – live, die, breathe, OK, but other than that, you don’t got to do much of anything else …
Drew Yeah, well, if I wanna keep Judy and the kids in my life, then I do. I had to.
Terry Huh.
Drew She made an ultimatum on me, like, a week ago, said if I didn’t get honest with her about my life – my history and all that – then she was gonna leave me. Take the kids and go … Judy doesn’t say shit like that without meaning it. Unlike me. (Beat.) She’s at the end with all this; surprised she lasted as long as she did.
Terry Me, too. You got a perfect family there and you piss ’em away …
Drew Yeah, well it’s over now, dude – this here is the last chance I got, so that’s why I need your help on it. I’m coming clean … about all my past and everything, that’s what I’m saying.
Terry nods at this, considering what to say next. Waits.
What?
Terry I’m a little lost here, Drew … he never did anything with you. Right? ’S what you said.
Drew No, he … I mean, yeah. We …
Terry You told me that, years ago. / You looked me right in the face and you said that …
Drew I know … / I know I did, but …
Terry Then I don’t get this …
Drew That’s what I’m trying to tell you here, Terry …
Terry I warned you about that guy, like, a billion times, I told you that you needed to stay away from him and you said you would, you said that to me – said it over and over and over. Right? I told you to …
Drew I know, which I never understood.
Terry I TOLD YOU. And you said you did. (Beat.) Now, was that a lie or not?
Drew … It was, yeah.
Terry I see …
Drew I’m sorry, but yes.
Terry So … after all I did to tell you that, getting sent away and, and – basically tossed out in the fucking trash by our dad – you still went off with him? / Hmm?!
Drew No, I … / No …
Terry Bullshit! Bull-fucking-shit!! You said you’re gonna get honest, then fucking do it! You and Todd spent time together, even after I begged ya not to … right? / RIGHT?!
Drew No. / NO! Not after, no – before. It was before you ever told me.
Terry … What? (Beat.) Drew, what?
Drew Sorry. It was already too late and so I just, you know, pretended. I acted like everything was still OK but by that point … No, it wasn’t. I couldn’t tell you, I’m sorry. I was too scared about it …
Terry It was before?
Drew Yeah, a lot before … (Beat.) All that stuff Todd did to me was before that. Way before …
Terry … You’re kidding me …
Drew No. I mean, why else would I be in here right now? Talking about it?
Terry Ahhh, about a thousand reasons … look at your life, Drew.
Drew Dude, I’m trying to get myself on the straight and whatever, OK, so the truth is step one – I can see now that a lot of my behaviour can be linked to all this. Things that happened to me when I was a kid …
Terry Well, that’s convenient …
Drew Fuck … that’s a shitty thing to say!
Terry I’m not saying anything. I’m not saying it didn’t happen – saying it’s very useful for you to fall back on now … so …
Drew Hey, look, I don’t need you so bad that I gotta sit here and take any ol’ crap that rolls out your mouth in my direction … (Beat.) I’m not the greatest person, fine. I have lots to make up for in my life and with my family, well alright, I’ll work on that, but I don’t have to swallow a bunch of your shit, too. I really don’t …
This seems actually to land for Terry – he nods at Drew and lets this soak in. Wanders off, considering. Silence.
Terry Listen, if that’s the truth, that he and you … then I’m very sorry and … I’ll do anything I can to help you here. All I can do. I just wish you would’ve said something to me … like, back in the day. When I could’ve done something about it. / Saved you.
Drew Well … / You can save me now.
Terry I know, but … I just …
Drew That’s all that matters.
Terry True. Yeah …
Drew It’s in the past. I’m just gonna put that behind me and move ahead. / That’s what I want … I do.
Terry ’Kay. / ’S very forgiving of you.
Drew You have to, bro. Have to forgive to take the next step …
Terry You learn that here?
Drew Nah … people’ve been telling that to me for years! Therapists, a few doctors, but I was, you know, too out there to listen.
Terry I bet …
Drew Keeping it together for the kids, but just barely – little counselling here … some lady’s undies on the floor of the Porsche … always just sneaking by. Wanting to get myself caught, really, but people letting it go, forgiving me, and all the time just handing me a free pass to do it again. A little smoother the next time, so it’s harder to get busted … and then fucking up again. Bigger and better. Hoping that this’ll be the one, this time somebody has got to stop me! But they don’t, they never do. Until I ran a traffic light with some chick from work and we’re both high – wrapped my Boxster around a fucking lamp post – and, well, ya know, I just watched it come down. My life …
Terry I really don’t wanna know all this stuff, Drew. I don’t.
Drew It’s just me, bro. / This is where I’m at now …
Terry Fine, and I’m here to help you … / I just don’t need all the blow-by-blow, OK? You can save it …
Drew Too messy for ya?
Terry Nah, just not interested.
Drew Ha! Well, at least you’re honest …
Terry I always have been, Drew. Always. You probably never noticed because you’ve been such a lying fuck for most your life that you couldn’t possibly recognise it.
Drew Ouch.
Terry Yeah, not so great being sober, is it?
Drew … Not when you’re around …
Terry Hey, you asked.
Drew Guess so. That’s true.
Terry Anyways …
Drew Yep. Anyway … you think you can do that for me, talk to those doctors I’m seeing? / Tell ’em about Todd?
Terry I can, sure. / I’ll answer anything they ask me.
Drew Appreciate it. It’ll help me out a lot, I think … both with them and Judy. She likes you.
Terry Funny how that works, huh? Married to you and she likes me …
Drew … Yeah.
Terry Wonder why that is?
Drew Probably ’cause you don’t stay out late and fuck around on her, that sort of thing …
Terry Might be! (Bitter laugh.) Yeah.
Drew After a while, wives just seem to be able to tell when you’re lying through your teeth …
Terry God bless ’em.
Drew Yep. (Grins.) Maybe Judy’s just got a crush on you. / That could be it.
The two brothers smile at this one, maybe even a chuckle.
Terry Right! / Uh-huh. (Beat.) So you want me to tell ’em what? These people?
Drew Just that I’m not making the guy up or anything, that he existed …
Terry OK. That’s easy.
Drew They’re telling me that in lots of these cases it’s a sibling or some family friend, a parent … a figure of some authority. That kinda deal is the usual case. (Beat.) Not some dude drifting ’cross the country.
Terry I see …
Drew They’ve even, you know – they asked if it could’ve been Dad, or, like, maybe … you. Implied
it, anyway.
Terry Sounds like doctors – heads wedged up their fucking asses …
Drew Yeah … but I told ’em ‘No.’ I said it wasn’t anybody in our house … and it wasn’t! / It was Todd …
Terry That’s OK … / Drew, it’s …
Drew I mean it, though. It was! (Beat.) But, you know, can’t prove it or anything. It’s just true, and so, you know, they’re finding it … ‘difficult to corroborate’. (Beat.) Mom came up already but she can’t remember yesterday, let alone, you know …
Terry Yeah, well, she’s been a fucking ghost for as long as I can ever remember – how’s she doing by the way? / Right …
Drew Same … back’s killing her. The eyes are going. All that shit … / (Beat.) Anyway, she’s no help and Dad … he’s … whatever …
Terry Dead, I hope. (Beat.) Anyway, I get it – I’ll tell ’em anything I can remember about the guy. Dates and names and shit …
Drew Good.
Terry … and hopefully that’ll help.
Drew It will. / Definitely.
Terry Fine. / I’m fine with that, then …
Terry relaxes for a moment now, sits down on one step.
Drew You OK?
Terry Yeah, course. Just hearing that name again. / It’s weird …
Drew I know. / Sorry.
Terry What are you sorry about? (Waits.) It’s just strange, that’s all. I haven’t thought about him for … you know. A while.
Drew … Really? Huh.
Terry What’s that mean?
Drew I’m just saying … you guys were …
Terry looks over at his brother, holds his gaze. Finally he turns and looks away.
Terry I mean, yeah, he’s crossed my mind occasionally … why wouldn’t he? He was one of those people that – you know what he was like – you let ’em in, into your life when you’re a kid … / You remember what a huge event it was when he first came to town …
Drew Yep. / Sure. Even Dad liked ’em.
Terry Yeah! He knew how to do everything and he was always just … cool. You know? Could play baseball and golf and helped us out with our chores, even. Taught us both how to dive the right way … (Beat.) I’ll tell you what … I was only fourteen or something, but I thought he had a deal going with Mom.
Drew Really? / Wow, I never …
Terry Come on … the way she’d fix snacks for him and dressing up and stuff? / I noticed all that crap but it was nothing I could put words to; just spotted the behaviour and it made me … I got all angry about it, but not ’cause I worried about Dad – I didn’t ever care about that piece a’ shit – and he was oblivious, anyway. (Beat.) No, see, I just wanted Todd to be my friend …
