by Debra Kayn
He hadn't said who he was going to see. There were almost fifty Tarkio members currently in prison.
"He'll know when I show up." Excess energy kept him on his feet. "Just put someone on Faye."
Until he could dive into finding out how the fire started at her greenhouse, he wasn't going to take any chances with her. If she went back to Grandma June's house,
Priest stood from the table. "On it."
Curley jogged through the clubhouse, got on his motorcycle, and rode away. His lips burned in the wind. If what she'd said was true and she could still seek him out, looking for a kiss, he'd done more damage than he'd thought.
Knowing he would've liked to have kissed her deeper and enjoy the moment more sickened him. He'd always known his feelings for her crossed the line. He couldn't help noticing her. She was his. Always his.
Jesus Christ, he hadn't acted on his feelings. He'd purposely kept her at a distance. She was an affectionate kid, who'd picked him to love, but he'd kept his distance.
If what she was saying, and he'd pulled her into his bed. He'd forced her.
By the time he entered the prison parking lot, there were only two hours left for visitors to check-in and schedule a visit. He only hoped that Walker hadn't got himself in trouble, and his visitation pulled for the week.
Having left his vest, weapon, and jewelry in his duffle on his bike, he forced himself to stand in the back of the room and wait for his name to be called. He reached up, feeling for the weight of his necklaces. Without them, he was stripped of any sign of how he lived his life. To everyone else in the room, he was only a tatted man waiting for the guard to escort him to Walker.
He glanced at the large clock behind a metal grate on the wall. One more hour and the visiting room would be cleared out and locked up.
The door swung open, and a woman carrying a clipboard stepped into the room. The low conversations around him by the others waiting to see inmates hushed.
"Georgia Flemming, Rod Pulinski, Carl Albright." The guard looked up from the piece of paper. "Line up at the door."
Curley stepped forward. There were only two places where he used his real name. Prison and the DMV. The rest of the time, Carl Albright never existed.
Taking his turn getting patted down for contraband, he was then led through a long hallway and shown to the cubicle where he was told to sit. If, for any reason, he stood during the visit, it would be taken as a sign he was ready to leave.
"You'll have twenty minutes with the inmate." The guard left him.
He put his boots flat on the floor and forced himself to sit there. Several minutes later, Walker showed up on the other side of the Plexiglas.
The years had aged his MC brother. The eyes that met his gaze a painful reminder of why he'd come after ignoring Walker for more years than he could count. Except where Walker's light brown eyes were hardened and untrusting, Faye's eyes were full of love and desperation.
It wasn't always that way. Before their world blew up, Walker was the one man he trusted with his life. He still did. That's why Walker was sitting on the other side of the bars, and Curley was free to leave. But if he'd hurt Faye, he was a dead man.
Walker sat down and waited for the guard to link his handcuffs to the table. The second they were alone, Curley picked up the phone.
Walker struggled to get the receiver to his ear. "Faye?"
His MC brother wasn't wasting any time. The person they both loved was the only thing on their minds.
"She's safe," said Curley.
"Then, what the fuck are you doing here?"
It was easy to imagine that he was the one on the other side of the protective glass. If he looked straight ahead, it could be Walker visiting him.
Staying away from Walker was his choice. After he'd claimed Faye, the guilt of his crimes ate away at him. Walker never held him accountable for killing the two men and going down for the count. He would've done the same for Walker if he would've had time before the arrest to change places with him. But they'd both been caught by surprise.
What kept him away was the guilt of sleeping with Faye when she was seventeen years old and believing that she'd climbed into his bed. His weakness and taking her virginity couldn't be excused, and he'd tried to do the right thing. He'd stayed away from her.
He'd stayed away from Walker.
He'd punished himself. He'd punished Faye.
But if Faye was right and he'd coerced her into bed and fucked her, his past punishment wasn't enough. There was no future with her, no matter how bad he wanted her.
He cleared his throat. "I need to know what happened seven years ago."
Walker's gaze narrowed. "About...?"
"Faye." He gritted his teeth. "When I came and told you I was going to claim her, you already knew what had happened between us because Faye had visited you. I need to know what she told you."
"You know what happened."
"What I thought I knew isn't what I recently heard." He fisted his hand atop the counter in front of him. "I swear on my life. On the patch, brother. What I heard...it ain't good."
Walker looked down and closed his eyes. Curley's heart beat wildly against his chest. The seconds felt like nails pounded in his coffin.
Faye's uncle was the only one who could give him the answers he sought. He wouldn't put Faye through the questions and make her relive that moment. He'd already harmed her enough and put her through hell if it was true.
"Come on, man," he whispered over the phone. "I'm losing it. Give me something. Tell me what I did to her."
"You broke her heart." Walker lifted his head. "I thought because she was young, she'd get over her infatuation with you and over the years...she just, there was no convincing her to give up on you."
"Give up?" He moved closer to the glass. "Why would she want me after that first time?"
Walker shook his head. "You'd have to ask her."
He was here to avoid hurting her more. Rubbing his neck, he dropped his hand to the counter when he realized he'd taken the necklaces off.
"Damnit," he muttered.
He needed to talk away from the prison. He wanted nothing between him and Walker.
"It should be me." He looked at Walker. "It should be me."
Walker leaned closer and lowered his voice. "Listen, asshole. I gave you your space when you started this shit before. I'm here. I'm okay with being here. You need to keep your fucking mouth shut before we're both stuck in this place."
A guard walked into view and stood at the back wall directly behind Walker. Curley lifted his chin, letting Walker know they had an audience.
"Do you hear me?" said Walker.
Acid churned in his stomach. He understood. Hell, he lived with what happened every day, and it was nothing compared to what Walker had to do.
"I brought Faye home with me." He rubbed his jaw, seeing the guard walk out of view. While he had his chance and before his time ran out, he said, "She said things that make me believe she hadn't willingly crawled into my bed years ago. That I...that I fucking pulled her into bed—"
Walker straightened his fingers, stopping him from going on. "Get that shit out of your head. As much as I hate to admit it, Faye knew what would happen when she laid down with you."
"But I—"
"You would've stopped, brother." Walker's gaze intensified. "You would've damn-well stopped, and I swear on my patch, you were the only one I would trust with her. It's why I asked you to look after her. What happened between you two, that's on both of you. Faye has loved you beyond anything, brother. Any-fucking-thing. Don't ruin it. Don't fight it. She's all grown up. Let go of the past and make her happy."
He exhaled loudly, all the fight leaving him. The thought of what he was capable of doing struck fear in him.
He'd lived a hard life. Growing up under a heavy hand, he had a rage that had smoldered through years of abuse. Tarkio was his outlet. The thought that he could've taken that violence, that anger, that frustration out on Faye as an
innocent teenager, taken her in the worse way possible for a woman, would've killed him.
His memories were different than Faye's. But they were good. They were his.
Chapter 29
Faye
Paco pushed through the door of Promise, followed by Whip. Faye set down the empty tray and hurried across the room, almost bumping into Roddy. She'd already asked the other Tarkio members where Curley had gone, and nobody knew or wouldn't tell her.
She'd expected him back in time to open Promise. When he hadn't shown up, she'd started to worry. He'd acted strange when he'd left.
"Have you seen or heard from Curley?" She walked backward as they continued toward the back of the bar.
"Isn't he here?" Paco looked around.
She moved out of their way. "No, he never showed up."
"He's probably doing something for Priest." Whip pulled the leather strip out of his hair. "I wouldn't worry about him."
That was easy for him to say. He wasn't the one who'd kissed Curley goodbye and received an unresponsive kiss back. Their last conversation fresh on her mind, she wondered if she'd said something wrong. He seemed tense and irritated with her over talking about their past.
Lately, she'd had the feeling he'd finally gotten over how their relationship had started. That he'd finally forgiven her, or maybe forgiven himself.
But this morning, he'd shut down. She could physically feel him pulling away from her.
More customers came in. "If you hear from him, tell him I'm looking for him, please."
She hurried to get the orders from the newcomers and welcomed them to Promise. Hammer worked behind the counter and filled the mixed drinks for her while she stood by the tap filling a pitcher.
Angela walked behind her. "Any word?"
"No." She set the drinks on the tray as they were slid down to her. "I'm worried."
"He's okay." Angela opened the cooler and took out a bag of ice, dumping it in the bin. "Don't worry until he gives you something to worry about."
"That's dumb advice." She shot a frown at her friend. "I don't think that works when he's a biker."
Her insecurities crept in despite trying hard to believe that he had decided to stay committed to her. That asking her to be in his bed every night would keep him closer to her.
"Have you ever hear back from the insurance company?" Angela dried off her hands.
"I called the agent this afternoon. They're sending out an inspector, even though there is nothing to see."
"They could look at the ground. I watched a television show about how they can test for things like gas and remnants of bombs from the soil," said Angela.
"I don't know what they're going to do. I just want it all to be finished. Until the investigation is over and I can rebuild, I'm out of business."
Angela pouted. "I'm sorry."
"At least I have this job. That'll help."
"Things will work out. If anyone can do it, you can. You're so strong and smart." Angela gave her a quick hug. "You'll figure it out, and if you need anything, you know your friends have your back, right?"
"Thanks. That means a lot to me." She picked up the tray and went out on the floor and served the drinks.
On most days, she would believe Angela. She was proud of how she'd grown the nursery business from the days when Grandma June was in charge, and she looked forward to the future. The fire was a huge setback, and even with Curley finally claiming her the way he'd promised, she felt beaten and unsure.
She looked toward the door, wishing it to open and Curley to walk in. Where could he be?
Banks walked past her. She grabbed his arm. "Uncle? Have you heard—"
"No, honey. Nothing yet." Banks frowned. "Why don't you take a break and try not to worry."
Frustrated, she rubbed her forehead. "Maybe, I will."
"Take someone with you. Don't go alone."
She nodded and walked over to the group of Tarkio members. Approaching Whip, she asked him to go on a break with her. The extra security wasn't needed. Promise wasn't that busy yet, and the alley behind the bar was safe, but she knew Curley wanted all the girls to be protected.
She pushed out the back door. "Sorry about pulling you away from the others."
"No prob." Whip lit a cigarette. "I get why Curley wants everyone protected while they work, and I agree with him. You can never be too careful."
She nodded. "I wished I knew where he was."
"He's around."
"How do you know that?"
He shrugged. "If he wasn't, we would've heard something."
She inhaled deeply, letting the night air cool her off. The minutes were slowly dragging. Being with Curley made her worry more.
Groaning, she leaned against the wall.
For many years, she wished he'd act like the man who'd claimed her and see her for the woman she was. She couldn't fault him for keeping his distance. She'd been too young to know what she wanted. Attraction, infatuation, her emerging hormones, and her fear of losing another person in her life, she'd done what any seventeen-year-old would do when an older man touched her and whispered things she'd never heard before.
It'd taken her years to understand and accept the way she felt about him. Even when he was mean to her and pushed her away, she'd loved him from a distance.
Outsiders would probably think her love for Curley came from a bad place. But they couldn't see the way he looked at her from day one or the way he softly touched her even when the tone of his voice was the opposite. They couldn't see how he needed her as much as she needed him.
Even when she was too young to understand the draw she had with him, she sensed he needed her in a way that nobody else could help him. It wasn't sadness or anger.
A lot of the time, he'd look at her, and something passed between them. It made her heart pound, and she was desperate to help him. But help him how?
Maybe everything happened for a reason, and now it was their time. Maybe he'd allow her to love him in a way that he needed.
Or maybe he'd abandon her like everyone else had in her life, either by selfishness, circumstances, or death.
"Hey, are you okay?" Whip tossed his cigarette and stepped closer.
Pressing a hand to her chest, she gulped for air. She couldn't fill her lungs. She couldn't lose Curley. He couldn't leave her the way the rest of them had.
Her hands tingled, and warmth flashed over her skin, and she shook inside. She needed Curley. She needed him now.
The back door opened. She jerked her gaze away from Whip and met stormy dark eyes coming toward her.
Her body gave up in relief. Curley wrapped her in his arms, squeezing her to his chest. The breath she needed was once again escaping her, but she was okay. He was okay. She didn't need to breathe when they were together.
"Sh." He kissed the top of her head. "I'm here."
She lifted her cheek off him, and he peppered kisses on her forehead, her nose, and finally her mouth.
Shaking, she clung to him, kissing him back. His possessive hand cupped the back of her head, and she melted, letting him console her. He was here.
He came back.
"I'm sorry," she murmured against his lips, unable to stop kissing him. "I'm sorry."
"Don't." He rubbed his mouth against her. "I'm here."
Breathing heavily, she needed to tell him. "I want you to love me."
"Jesus, Faye." He exhaled harshly, pushing her back inches and holding her face. "You don't have to ask. I've always loved you."
"You do?" Suddenly feeling eight years old, unsure of what tomorrow will bring and if there will be anyone left to love her. "Am I your old lady?"
"You're my old lady."
"Forever?"
"Forever." He pressed his forehead against her forehead, his hands shook on her face. "Promise."
She sniffled, stroking his face with her hands, assuring herself that he'd come back. "You left, and I thought you were mad at me."
"Not at you." He tucked her ag
ainst the front of him, holding her close. "I had to go...Faye?"
"Hm?" She snuggled and wrapped her arms around him.
"Did I force you that first time we had sex?"
"No." She lifted her head and frowned. "You would never."
His gaze intensified. "You said I pulled you into bed."
"To cuddle." She shook her head. "We've already talked about that. I slept with you all night, and you held me every second."
Underneath his beard, his Adam's apple moved. "I thought..."
"Did you think I didn't want to have sex?" She blinked, trying to figure out why he was upset. "I wanted you. I wanted you so much. I couldn't even sleep, because all I could think about was having sex with you and wishing you'd touch me. I'm glad you were my first." She smiled and quickly said, "And the only one to ever have me."
He hugged her to him and buried his face in the top of her hair. His chest expanded, and he slowly let out his breath. "Good."
They remained locked together for several minutes before he straightened. She leaned back and took his hand, clutching it in her grasp.
"I should really get back inside. The others are probably wondering where I am or if I walked off the job." She mustered a smile, concerned about his reasons for leaving today. "Are you okay?"
He leaned in and kissed her. "I am now."
"Where did you go?" She led him to the back door.
"Prison."
She stopped before going back inside. He moved the strands of hair off her cheek and tucked them behind her ear. "To visit a Tarkio member?"
"I went to see your uncle," he said huskily. "I needed to make sure I hadn't hurt you that first time."
"And you couldn’t ask me?" She tilted her head. "Why?"
"Because of our conversation this morning." He inhaled deeply and closed his eyes an extra beat. "I had to know."
"No. No. You did nothing wrong. You were gentle and loving." She caressed his cheek, and then her eyes shimmered. "Afterward, you were an asshole, but the sex was good. It was perfect because I could finally tell how much you cared about me."
"Loved you then." His gaze warmed. "Love you now."
She nodded. "That's how I've always felt toward you."
