His erection sprang free, and I didn’t even try to continue pulling his briefs down the rest of the way as I took his length in both of my hands. Brody groaned and his head fell to my shoulder as I watched both my hands make their way up him. Letting one of my hands leave to edge the waistband down his hips, I slowly pumped from base to head with the other. I couldn’t take my eyes off him. Everything about him was incredible and perfect.
“Babe—I haven’t been with anyone in years, so this already isn’t going to last long, but if you keep doing that it’s gonna be over before it can begin.”
I bit back a smile at his confession and leaned my head back when he started leaving openmouthed kisses on my neck and guided him to me. We both stilled for a few seconds, a harsh breath leaving him when he pushed into me, and I wanted to cry in frustration when his body left mine before he was slamming back into me. His name left my lips in a breathless whisper when he began moving inside me, and my fingers curled into his back as his pace quickened.
I could feel the muscles in his back tightening, and the pull in my lower stomach grew as I got closer to my climax.
“Come on,” his gruff voice whispered in my ear. “Give me one more.”
Bringing his hand between us, he rolled his fingers against my clit, and I whimpered incoherent words as the mix of him moving inside me and his hands on me sent me over the edge. It felt like my body was suspended in air for long seconds before it came crashing down, and Brody’s body shuddered beneath my fingertips as he followed me into his own orgasm.
He lazily kissed up my throat until he reached my lips, and somehow I figured out how to release my death grip on his back to pull my hands through his dark hair as I returned the slow kiss.
“God, Kamryn. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get enough of you. Not after that.”
I smiled against his lips, and feeling his hard length still inside me, pushed him back and rolled us over until I was on top of him. He groaned when I moved my hips, his hands flying back to grab them. I’d been afraid he was about to stop me, but his fingers flexed against my skin before pressing me harder against him. Sitting up, I let him lead our movements, and my head fell back from the feel of the new position. This time was slow and controlled as we took our time getting to know each other’s body, but the heat and passion only seemed to grow.
My body curled over his, and I pressed my forehead into his chest when it was over. Every part of me felt like it was floating, and at the same time I couldn’t find the strength to move from where I was lying on him.
“Come here,” he said as he pulled his body from mine and wrapped his arms around me.
Pressing a kiss to my lips, he tucked my head under his chin and tugged on the comforter until he could pull it over us.
“You’ll stay?” I asked as I pressed closer to him.
“I need you in my arms right now,” he said simply. And just before sleep claimed me, I heard him say, “I’m not going anywhere.”
MY BODY JERKED awake, and I lay still as I listened for whatever had woken me. Brody was now behind me with his body curled around mine, and the sound of his soft snores was all that met my ears for a few moments. Closing my eyes, I relaxed into the pillow again when I heard the ringing. Moving from Brody’s arms, I glanced around for my phone but didn’t see it. Then I remembered I’d left it in the bathroom—this ring was coming from outside my room. Grabbing for the pants that were on the floor in the hallway, I searched the pockets until I found Brody’s phone. My body turned to ice when I saw the screen.
Olivia.
“Brody,” I said as I climbed back on the bed and shook his shoulder. “Brody, wake up.”
His eyes shot open and moved quickly to the phone I was holding out to him. “What—”
“Olivia is calling you.”
“Fuck,” he whispered and pinched the bridge of his nose as he turned to his back. Taking the phone from my hand, he cleared his throat a couple times and answered. “Hello?”
“Where the hell are you? Do you know what time it is?”
I didn’t need to be sitting directly next to him to hear her. I’m positive I would’ve been able to hear her shrill voice if I’d been back in the hall.
Glancing at his phone for a second, his aggravated expression never changed as he brought the phone back to his ear. “Yeah, Liv, I got caught up at work.”
“And you couldn’t call to tell me?”
“You said you’d be staying with your parents if you got back from Washington tonight. I didn’t know it would matter to you if I was late or—shit, Liv. Why . . . fuck, why are you crying?”
“Well, obviously I’m not at my parents’, Brody! I thought something had happened to you. You know, I’m trying to be a good wife here. And you are hours late and don’t even think to—” She cut off on a sob.
Brody’s hand fell over his face, and his head gently shook back and forth. “All right, I’m sorry. You’re right, I should have called you.”
“Come home, please. Please, come home.”
My body locked up when I heard her desperate plea, and I watched as Brody’s hand moved and he turned his head to look at me. Even in the dark I could see the war he was fighting as he listened to his wife cry on the phone and watched my every move.
Olivia said something that was now too low and mumbled for me to hear, but Brody’s expression suddenly looked like he was in pain.
“I’m finishing up a report, I’ll be back soon.” Without waiting for her to respond, he ended the call and reached out for me, but I stopped his hand.
“Stay. Please.”
His jaw clenched shut, and he shook his head once. From the way his eyes studied my face, as if trying to memorize it, I knew he wouldn’t. Twisting away, I got off the bed. I needed to get away from him before I lost it.
“Kamryn, don’t do this, I’m sorry. But you know I—”
“I know. You have to leave, Brody, it’s fine.” I quickly grabbed up my clothes on the floor and dashed into the bathroom.
“Kamryn!”
Once I’d dressed, I pressed my hands to the marble counter as I bit down on the inside of my cheeks to keep from crying. I’d gone into our relationship knowing we wouldn’t be able to have this—nights together with nothing standing in the way—but after the night we’d just shared I’d let myself hope.
Olivia’s call had been like a slap to the face. I couldn’t do this, I couldn’t be this person. But as Brody came up behind me and eased his arms around me to press our bodies together, I knew that for this man, I would. I would go through anything if it meant he was mine in the end.
“I’m so sorry,” he said softly before pressing his lips to the sensitive spot behind my ear. “Please don’t be mad. I couldn’t handle it if you were.”
I kept my eyes trained on my hands gripping the countertop and nodded, not trusting my voice anymore.
“One day . . . one day we won’t have to do this anymore. I’ll come home to you, and get in our bed, and never leave. I swear.”
My vision went blurry, and I closed my eyes tightly against the tears.
How was it possible that I was already falling so hard for this man that the thought of him anywhere but beside me had me feeling like I was drowning and unable to pull in the air my body needed to live? I was quickly becoming addicted to him and the way he made me feel with the smallest of touches. We were dangerous together, but I knew I couldn’t live without him.
“Forgive me,” he pleaded, and suddenly his body and warmth were gone. As much as my mind and body screamed at me to follow him, to beg him not to leave, I was rooted in place for long minutes until I heard the door shut and his car start up in the garage.
Taking shaky steps back until I hit a wall, I slid down until I was seated on the cool floor, and the tears I’d been holding back fell mercilessly as desperate sobs racked my chest.
Brody
May 20, 2015
THE SECOND OLIVIA’S car pulled out of our dri
veway, I was rushing to pull on clothes and running out the door. I needed to go to Kamryn. I needed to try to fix what I’d probably destroyed the night before.
Waking up to Kamryn telling me Olivia was calling me—being pulled out of my perfect moment with Kamryn to have the truth of our situation thrown in my face—had been agony. There was no other word for it. We’d decided when we began that we would go slow, and Kamryn knew there would be days at a time when I wouldn’t be able to see her or even talk to her. But that had changed last night.
It had killed me to see the look on her face as I talked with Liv, and everything in me had been yelling at me to stay with Kamryn, to take care of her. Then Liv brought up Tate, and I remembered why Kamryn and I had agreed to keep this quiet: I needed to make sure Olivia was going to be okay first. So I’d given in.
Olivia was asleep in her own bed by the time I got home, though, and had woken me before the sun rose this morning to the sounds of her screaming and throwing dishes across the kitchen. I’d wrapped my arms around her to stop her from grabbing for more. She responded by screaming at me not to touch her because I was a baby killer.
Olivia needed help, and I needed Kamryn.
I pulled into Kamryn’s driveway, frowning when I found her garage door open from the night before and the door leading to her house still unlocked. Shutting the garage door, I let myself in and jogged through her house, calling her name.
The sound of bare feet on hardwood met me before I saw her quickly turn the corner in the hall.
“Brody, what are you doing here? How did you get—”
Closing the distance between us, I pulled her into my arms and kissed her firmly before burying my face at the base of her neck. “I’m sorry. God you have no idea how sorry I am,” I whispered and ran my nose up her smooth skin. “Please forgive me. I know I fucked up, I just . . . I don’t know the right way to do this. I know what I want and need, and I know what I have to do. And I’m so fucking torn between getting her the help she needs and staying with you that I feel like there is no right way to go about it.”
Kamryn’s body was shaking, and it felt like someone had punched me in the gut when I tilted her head back and saw her wet cheeks.
“I can’t do this to you. I can’t ask you to do this.”
“What?” she asked breathlessly, her expression dropping.
“It’s not fair to you.”
Her blue eyes widened and searched my face before more tears fell. “What are you saying?”
“I won’t make you do this. You shouldn’t have to be in a relationship where it’s kept a secret, and—”
“Brody, stop!” Her hands came to rest on my arms, and she looked around like she couldn’t figure out the right words to say. “Last night was hard. God, it was so hard. I want to promise you that if that happens again I’ll deal with it better, but I can’t, because there’s no easy way to deal with something like that. We put ourselves in this position, though, and if that’s what we have to go through to be together in the end, then I’ll do it. But you can’t ask me to just give up on us because it’s not ‘fair to me.’ This situation isn’t fair to anyone, but we knew that going into this.” Kamryn’s eyes searched mine, and she squeezed my forearms. “Right?”
“Right,” I said softly, my lips tilting up in a smile as I looked at this amazing woman. I didn’t know what I’d done to deserve her.
“If what you said last night was the truth, if you can promise me that one day we’ll be together, then I’ll go through hell for you.”
Leaning in, I pressed my mouth to hers and spoke against her lips. “I promise. One day we’re going to have our forever. Nothing will stop us.”
The kiss started off slow, but built quickly when she pulled me closer, her full breasts pressing against my chest. My hands slid from her neck to the top of her jeans, and I pushed her back against the wall as I unbuttoned them and slid the zipper down.
“Brody,” she whimpered when my fingers trailed against her heat.
“Tell me what you want.”
“You. Just give me you.”
Removing my hand from the confined space in her jeans, I moved her away from the wall and walked her backward into her room until we hit the bed. “Jeans. Off,” I ordered and stepped back to watch as she slowly pushed them and her underwear off and stepped away from them. “Now lie down.”
She sat on the bed and scooted back before lowering herself onto it, her blue eyes dark and hooded as she watched me push apart her legs and kneel between them. Letting my fingers trail against her wet folds, I pressed two fingers inside her, and a surge of need built up in me seeing her head fall back onto the bed as her eyes shut.
I needed this girl. I needed to make her mine. Only mine.
I opened her legs wider, baring her to me, and leaned forward to taste her.
“Oh, God!” she cried, and her hands clenched the comforter in her hands. “Brody, please.”
Smiling against her, I ran my tongue up her once more before sucking her clit into my mouth. I hadn’t realized Kamryn’s heavy breaths had suddenly stopped until I heard the voice.
“I’m actually on time today, so you better be ready!”
The sound of keys falling to the counter could be heard as Kamryn sat up and I jumped off the bed, her horrified expression making my heart race.
“Kinlee,” she whispered, and my blood ran cold.
“KC,” Kinlee drew out her name in a singsong voice.
“Shit. Fuck. You need to hide!” Kamryn hissed as she scrambled into her underwear and grabbed her jeans. “Go to the closet!”
I couldn’t believe I was actually going to hide in a closet like I was about to be caught in my girlfriend’s room by her parents, but I knew Kinlee couldn’t find out about us, not this way. Grabbing the back of Kamryn’s head, I pulled her in and kissed her roughly before quietly making my way toward the closet.
“Brat! Why aren’t you answering?” Kinlee’s voice was close.
“Sorry, Lee! I was . . . talking to Barb. Let me go to the bathroom and I’ll be out.” Kamryn bit down on her bottom lip, her worried eyes glued to me as she waited for Kinlee to walk into the room.
“’Kay, ’kay! I’m going to make some coffee to go.”
Kamryn exhaled, and her eyes shut in relief as Kinlee’s voice slipped deeper into the condo. After buttoning her pants, she walked quickly to where I was standing in the doorway to her closet and threw her arms around me. “I forgot she was picking me up today, I’m sorry, I have to go.”
“I know, have a good day, I’ll call you when I can.”
Pain covered her worried expression, and her hands slid around to press on my chest. “When do you think that will be?”
“I don’t know,” I admitted, and an unsettling feeling unfurled in my stomach. “Just know that every moment I’m not with you, I’m counting down the minutes until I can see you again. You’re all I think about, Kamryn, and I’ll do anything so I can see you again.”
She bit down on her lip and nodded resolutely, but it didn’t mask the sadness in her eyes. “Okay.” Taking a deep breath in, she started to leave, but turned back to kiss me soundly. “Until then.”
“Jesus Christ, how long does it take you to pee now?” Kinlee’s voice was back, and Kamryn stilled against me.
“There’s an extra clicker for the garage door in a drawer in the kitchen. Take it.”
I nodded and slipped into her closet as she walked toward her bedroom door, bending down to grab her Converses as she left.
“Shit, I thought I was going to have to send a search-and-rescue team to get you out of the toilet.”
Kamryn laughed. “You’re early, you can’t expect me to be ready for you when you’re not running an hour late.”
“Whatever.” Kinlee snorted. “Don’t judge me.”
I released the breath I’d been holding when their voices faded, and then waited for a handful of minutes after I heard the door shut before moving from my spot. G
oing into the kitchen, I searched the drawers until I found one full of random stuff and pulled out the garage door opener. But after what had just happened, I didn’t know how often I would be using it. That had been too close. Kamryn and I needed to find a place where something like this couldn’t happen.
7
Brody
May 29, 2015
DRUMMING MY HANDS on the steering wheel, I took a few breaths in and out before shutting off my SUV and stepping out. This time of year was always bittersweet for me. With Tate’s birthday came sorrow, guilt, and wonder at what could have been. Knowing that I was struggling with the grief worse than I did the rest of the year, my two closest friends from the Army were never far behind. No matter what was happening in their own lives and with their families, both Coen Steele and Keegan Hudson came here from Colorado to remember Tate. Well, and I’m sure they were making sure I wouldn’t do anything stupid.
I’d never asked them to come. They both just showed up on what would have been his first birthday and had come back every year since—either on or near the day. I couldn’t begin to explain how much their yearly visit meant to me. It was something to look forward to rather than focus on the fact that Tate was gone and not living his life.
But in the last few weeks since his birthday, I’d been terrified about them coming. These two knew me better than anyone—even better than Jace—and I couldn’t lie to them if my life depended on it. Not only that, I didn’t want to lie to them. We’d been through a lot together in the Army, and there had been times when we were all each other had. Lying to them was never an option. I just didn’t know how they would react to what was going on between Kamryn and me. I had no doubt they would find out something was up, and I wouldn’t deny what it was when they did. We had to keep our relationship hidden from everyone for numerous reasons, one of them being that Kamryn didn’t want to be seen a certain way. So the fact that two of my friends would soon know had me on edge.
Walking into the restaurant, I looked around until I spotted them and began walking toward them.
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