“Oh vanity, thy name is Kitty,” she whispered as she turned her mirror around to face the wall.
“I imagine the mouse population will suffer some,” Caterwaul joked, not really expecting any kind of response. And it was a good thing he was being rhetorical, because the queen was far away, lost in her own thoughts.
“Druciah, my queen,” Caterwaul became serious again. “Just assume that I can do this for you, my dear friend. You know that it really isn’t going to solve the root problem here. You are going to continue getting older. It’s a part of nature, and because of this, it’s unfortunately unavoidable. Unless . . .” his voice trailed off as he was thinking.
The cat jumped from his resting place and took a seat beside Druciah on the couch. She rubbed the top of his head with her nails the way he liked it.
“You said unless . . .” she said, continuing the head massage.
He purred ecstatically as if to say don’t stop, that feels wonderful.
“Please, by all means continue my pet.”
He leaned his head back. This is very satisfying, he thought, and then he continued. “As I have said many times, my queen, my powers are limited. However, during my time spent living with the Witch of Red Moon Forest, I learned that there may be a way to bring back your youth.” He stretched his whole body contentedly.
He continued, “Performing anything as bold as this requires black magic, and black magic usually comes with a heavy price. But the Witch of Red Moon Forest is well versed in the forbidden arts. As far as I can recall, she retains in her cave a collection of spells that can lead to the creation of a confection that just might be what you’re looking for.” The words flowed from his mouth like a song.
He shifted his position and spoke earnestly, “But I don’t know if she will even see you, much less agree to help you.” Druciah stroked his back delicately, running her long, bony fingers from his shoulders all the way to the end of his bushy, black tail.
“And even getting to her is going to be a challenge. It will take you many days, perhaps even a week or more, just to reach Red Moon Forest. Then once you’re there, you will have to find the entrance. I would wait for nightfall before going in.”
He waited for her to resume his massage before continuing his instructions. “Once inside the forest, you’ll see a path that has seen scant use in recent years. It’s become a little bit overgrown. If you stay on this path, you soon will learn that there are three perils, which you must endure.
“First you must gain the respect of the Parliament of Possums, who can be a real pain in the hindquarters. They’re marsupials, you see. They think that it’s their job to make the laws of the forest, and the Witch is happy to let them go right on thinking it.
“But they’re just your typical politicians. They look all high and mighty, but get next to nothing done. Let me tell you, the only thing worse than a politician is a politician with a pouch. I never liked possums much, with their white faces and pink noses; they think they’re so important. Possums . . . rats in trees are more like it.” He realized he was going off on a tangent.
“But you can’t kill them. So you will have to make that especially clear to your guards. No matter how much they frustrate you, don’t make any hostile moves, or you might as well just come right back home. You need them. Only they can guide you to the next challenge.
“Now this second peril is far more difficult. If the possums trust you, they will send you down along a trail, which will take you to an enormous, hollow oak tree. The tree is massive, so there is no way you can miss it as long as you follow the right trail.
“Once you get there you will have to be extra careful, because inside that tree lives a very large and eccentric snapping turtle named Joffrey, who is extremely dangerous. He is quite a neat freak, and he hates visitors. If you disrupt a single leaf or disturb even one stone, he will snap you in half. He fancies himself quite the decorator, so keep that in mind.” Caterwaul again started to go off on a tangent. “He’s actually very good though . . . I’ve learned a few things about décor from him myself.
“Finally, you will have to deal with the poison dart frogs of Bug Stool Creek. If you can figure out a way to get by them, then you can follow the creek bed about half a kilometer, and this will lead you to the cave the Witch calls home. If she agrees to see you, you may be able to make a deal, but again I can offer you no guarantees.”
The cat licked his paw. “There will probably be some other unanticipated dangers you will come across too. So if you are going, make sure to take at least four of your best guards with you for protection, smart ones if you can find them.
“Be sure that you take that animal Warwick Vane Bezel III with you too. He just might come in handy if you find yourself in a pickle. But remember, guys like that can get you killed, so make sure he keeps his mouth shut and his eyes open.
“I’ll be here when you get back.” He curled up on a pillow as if to go to sleep.
“You mean you will not go with me?” asked the queen.
“Absolutely not!” he declared. “That forest is dangerous. I was only able to escape before because I had learned enough magic to do so. It is going to take you many days before you even get to the forest. So of course, I’m staying here. As far as I’m concerned, one trip through the Forest of Red Moon is enough for a lifetime, or even nine.
“Besides, if I am able to pull off this ‘cursed mirror’ spell for you, it’s going to wipe me out. I’m just a cat, so I’m small. Performing any kind of real magic takes a toll on the user. I’ve been unconscious for days after performing relatively minor incantations. Something this big will likely put me out for a week or more. If you want the mirrors cursed, then I will be staying here.”
Druciah agreed. “Okay, cat. You can stay behind. But before you get too comfortable, you need to know that by tonight I expect every mirror in the kingdom to be turning people into cats.
“In fact,” she said, “why not start with this one here? It will be a test to see how much you learned from that Witch. No use setting off on a long journey unless I know the end prize is obtainable.”
Caterwaul’s whiskers twitched as he silently mouthed an incantation. The queen squinted to try to see what it was he said, but was unable to transpose the cat’s lip movements. It was obvious, though, that the spell was siphoning away his energy.
The queen turned the surface of the mirror toward the door and called for one of her guards. As soon as he came within sight of the mirror, he saw his reflection and instantly transformed into a small gray cat.
“Excellent,” she laughed elatedly and clapped her hands. “I guess that means I’m off to see the Witch.” She obscured the mirror with a silken red cover.
“When I get back, you can release the spell, but let’s have a little fun for a while.” As she left the room, she was practically skipping, the way little girls sometimes do. She called back to Caterwaul, “Remember to do something with all the palace mirrors before you cast your spell. I don’t want to come home to a castle full of cats.”
Caterwaul could hear her wild laughter echoing through the castle halls.
5
The Parliament of Possums
With the ferocity of a flash flood, the queen and her guards set off along the road to the Red Moon Forest to seek out the Witch who lived there. All in all, there were seven in her entourage. The queen rode in her carriage with her driver while four of her most capable underlings rode on horses out in front. Bringing up the rear was the always-wary secret police commander, Warwick Vane Bezel III. Just setting out on this journey was quite an undertaking. It was exhausting for the aging queen, who had not left the castle for years.
The trip was made even more difficult by the fact that as they traveled, there was no one around to offer them hospitality. They rode through several villages and hamlets, and not one person came out to greet them or offer them any assistance. No innkeeper offered them lodging, and no stable boys emerged to feed their horses
. It was as if word had spread that the hated queen was on the road, and everybody had run away in fear.
The public’s reaction wasn’t really that surprising, since the queen almost never left Cathoon Castle. The fact that she was out among them now, and that the hated Warwick Vane Bezel III was with her too, made the people of her kingdom feel uneasy. Having the head of any secret police force in tow rarely makes for adoring citizens.
But this lack of fanfare was little matter to Druciah and her retainers. If they needed to rest, they simply stopped and occupied whatever abandoned home struck their fancy. Every so often, they would find a home where the residents had not been gone for too long, and because of this, their homes and stores were quite well-provisioned.
Still, she thought, it would be nice . . . to actually see some other faces besides Warwick and the other guards.
After more than two weeks on the road, the party reached the edge of Red Moon Forest. Her heart sank. Obviously the queen was not prepared to encounter something so vast. The untamed wilderness seemed to extend in either direction as far as the eye could see, and she knew in her heart it was likely as deep as it was wide.
She called to her driver, screaming, “Halt the beasts; we’re here!” The coach pulled to a stop, and the queen stepped out of her carriage to look around. “Warwick! I need you to find the best way for us to enter this place. Take two of the guards and ride north. Have the other guards ride south. If neither group finds a way in within the next few hours, turn around and come back.”
“But what if we do find a way in, your majesty?” asked one of her more intelligent guards.
Shaking her head dumbfounded, Druciah answered. “Well, I suppose then you will come back immediately and let the rest of us know where it is . . . won’t you?”
The guards split up and rode off in opposite directions. It was nearly four hours before Warwick Vane Bezel III and his party returned. Sending one of his riders south to retrieve the others, the commander dismounted and approached the queen’s carriage.
“Your majesty, I believe I have spotted a place that looks like it might be a possible entrance. It’s about an hour north of here. However, my guards and I explored the area, and I must tell you, this is a very difficult wood. This forest is not going to be passed through easily. If we go in at all, it’s going to have to be on foot.”
From Caterwaul’s directions Druciah had expected this would be no light undertaking, but she didn’t realize the wood would be so dense that they would have to fight their way through it. Then it dawned on her: Caterwaul would have seen things through his cat eyes; the forest would be far easier for one of his size to pass than it would be for a human.
As soon as the other three guards returned, the party turned north and rode to where Warwick Vane Bezel III had seen the likely entrance point. Immediately the queen knew that her secret police commander had failed utterly to communicate the fullness of the forest’s growth.
“On foot indeed,” she said. “Warwick, you idiot!” she bellowed. “What impassable thicket have you brought me to? This is no entrance! We would need fifty men with axes and torches to be able to get through this tangle.”
“My apologies your majesty,” answered Warwick Vane Bezel III, “but you’ll remember I said that it would be difficult. And of all the places we checked out, this was by far the most suitable place to try to go in.”
Druciah sat down on a stump to think. She was sure there was no way to make it into the woods through this entrance where they now stood. She felt disappointed; her quest to find the Witch of Red Moon Forest might be over before it really had a chance to begin.
Just then, she noticed a darkening of the sky. The sun had begun to drop below the tree line. As it disappeared from sight, strange, slithering noises began emanating from the woods. They all turned in order to see what was happening. What they heard was unnatural. It sounded as though something, or a great many somethings, were being dragged along the forest floor.
Then she remembered Caterwaul’s words that she should wait until nightfall before entering the forest. As the sky grew darker, Druciah could see the thick growth of Red Moon Forest was retreating. Soon it had pulled back enough to reveal an obvious path. It was still impossible for them to use the horses, but it was now easily passable for a small party on foot.
“All right, everyone. It looks like we’re going to have to walk from here,” barked Warwick Vane Bezel III. He was a man used to command. “Gather all of our supplies and weapons. We’re going into unknown territory. We have no idea what to expect other than that we will have sorcery and a lot of strange animals to deal with.”
“Is this place haunted?” one of the guards asked.
“If it’s not haunted, it is certainly dangerous,” the commander answered. “I expect some of us may not survive. But that doesn’t matter, as long as your queen is safe.”
“Your sacrifices are, of course, appreciated,” added the queen, with a sardonic grin.
The Red Moon Forest had been the setting for many tales of the supernatural. For generations, these tales had entertained and frightened people of all stripes throughout the kingdom, from beggars to nobles. Now here was Queen Druciah, standing at the entrance, gazing down the pathway that would soon bring her face to face with the legendary Parliament of Possums.
The guards whispered to one another, as if giving each other last rites. Leaving one of the guards behind with the queen’s carriage and its driver, the party stepped into the unknown. Two of the guards carried between them a large, intricately carved chest made of cedar wood.
“Let’s go!” Druciah barked condescendingly. “I can’t believe what pathetic guards I have. All of you keep your eyes and ears open at all times. And whatever you do, do not drop that cedar chest,” she said. “If anything happens to that box we are all finished, do you understand me?” The group nodded in unison and moved slowly along the pathway into the forest.
“Your Highness, I’ll go first,” Warwick volunteered. “There is no danger that I am afraid to face and no animal that I’m unwilling to eat. There is no spook or specter alive or dead that I will not willingly confront to defend your majesty.”
“Thank you, Warwick. Sometimes it’s nice to see a little backbone. You may proceed,” the queen said. “But be careful. I do not want us to make any enemies out of creatures we may need to use for our gain.”
Warwick Vane Bezel III took up the lead position, followed by the rest of the party. The forest was a whole lot spookier than any of them had expected. They followed the path and soon entered a part of the wood that could almost be called a swamp. It was dark and wet and reeked of many unpleasant things, which they’d often smell as the wind shifted directions. However, as terrible and foul as the odors were, the group was far more unsettled by the continuous barrage of strange and eerie sounds echoing through the trees.
They traveled the path through the marsh for most of a day, not really knowing in which direction they were headed, when they finally came to a clearing. As this was the first clear, dry area they’d come across in a while not crawling with worms, bugs, and other nasty lurking things, Druciah gave the order to stop. “We will camp here for the night.”
“Camp here?” came a voice from above. “You most certainly will not camp here. Can’t you see that Parliament is in session?”
The queen looked up to see, hanging upside down from the tree limbs, quite a large gathering of possums. Each of them had on a stark-white, powdered wig secured to its gray and black ears with tiny straps, and they all wore long, black robes which, considering most of the possums hung upside down, appeared to cover nothing.
The queen shielded her eyes. “Parliament indeed. What sort of Parliament goes about exposing themselves to unsuspecting people who accidently wander into their midst? You wear such beautiful wigs and robes of state. Are you telling me that none among you has ever heard of undergarments? Come down from those trees at once! There is a lady present, and all of you
are positively indecent!” exclaimed the queen.
Embarrassed at the offense they had caused, the possums all quietly scurried down the tree trunks to the ground.
“We are sorry, madam . . . we are not used to the presence a lady, or any humans for that matter, around here,” said one of the possums as the others tried to present themselves respectably. “We are the Parliament of Possums, and we are the government in this part of the forest.”
The possums surrounded them as Warwick unsheathed his sword. Queen Druciah watched as the group of marsupials melted into what appeared to be little chairs filling a great open hall. The animals began to mutter amongst themselves in Possumese.
“If you do anything to us, you will be lost in this forest forever . . . so I suggest you place that carving tool back where it was and show us some respect! I am Prime Minister Pickford, and I need to know why you are here. I need to be sure that you are not here to exploit the raw materials of this forest,” he said. “You could say we are environmentalists. We protect this great unspoiled land. You humans have a habit of destroying places like this. You like to call it progress, I believe.
“This Parliament has been formed to protect this land from being ravaged by the likes of you. Your kind mines for minerals and leaves the landscape bare and burning. You chop down trees and destroy whole communities of animals so that you can have more space. You are always looking for more space to live in. You are monsters.”
He found a tree limb, which was especially close to the queen’s face and scurried onto it. “It is all done for your own greed. You are the most selfish of species. My brethren and I would sooner see you as fodder for the vultures than help you to chop down even one tree. Everything in this forest is precious to us, and nothing may leave except by choice. Now if you understand me, speak,” said Pickford. He rose up on his hind legs to his full and massive height of two feet and three inches. “Now be truthful because the Parliament of Possums has ways to know if you speak the truth.”
The Adventures of Caterwaul the Cat Page 4
