by C L Green
Reaching out, Jake slides the bar stool he discarded earlier back to the bench. Lowering himself slowly onto it, he takes another swig of his beer. I realize the beer is stinging his lip by the way his tongue quickly darts out to clean the angry looking split after each mouthful. Putting the half empty bottle back on the bench he continues.
“She was also stupid enough to make the mistake of convincing me to marry her because she was pregnant. Marriage was never on my radar. The only reason I did it was because I thought I had a baby on the way. Shortly after the wedding I found out she was lying. Something I should have been quicker to clue in on because knowing the woman for what she is, she would never plan to get pregnant, ever. The thought of weight gain and loose skin do not sit well with her.”
Self-centred, much.
“Does she know about the pot growing?” I ask as I try to understand why Victoria is still with Jake if he’s clearly no longer into her and not up for playing the role she had planned for him. And if she’s already the daughter of a wealthy doctor, why would she care about money? Why not just sign Jake’s divorce papers and have done with it?
“I’m not sure. I’ve never spoken to her about it direct. This said, Jim and I both believe she has her suspicions. Jim also believes that she won’t settle a divorce while she thinks I’m hiding something. We’ve both tried to convince her to cut me loose and get on with her life. She won’t. Which is annoying because she’s a risk. Not only to me, but also to her father. Having to continually tread lightly around her grates on me.
“Have you ever thought about telling her?”
“Never,” Jake growls firmly as he tips his head to stare at me. “She’s untrustworthy. She’s self-obsessed and the only thing she would see would be the dollar signs. With Victoria, life is all about her and what she can get out of it. She’s never done a hard day in her life and she most certainly doesn’t understand the real meaning of suffering. She lacks feeling and strength. She is weak minded and petty. How Jim managed to father such a woman I don’t know. How I managed to marry such a woman, I don’t know.”
Watching Jake’s eyes flash angrily I can see no love lost. “So you really don’t like her then?”
“I despise the woman. She’s everything that’s wrong about the female world and I wish she would just go away. When shit like last night happens, I continue to have to deal with it. She’s my wife and still my responsibility. She knows that and that’s why she continues to come up with new and fucked up ways to get my attention. She still thinks that I am going to roll over and come back to her. She’s a fuckin’ idiot.”
So maybe there is seriously no love lost there.
Reaching for his beer, Jake sighs. “So there you have it.”
Mimicking his movement I reach for my coffee cup. Putting it to my lips I confirm my suspicions. It’s cold.
Grimacing I put it back on the bench and push it away. Jake watches my actions and automatically slides his beer in front of me. With a shrug, I pick it up and take a mouthful. I don’t like beer but when you get to share it with someone like Jake, you just do.
Letting out my own deep sigh I turn in my seat to bump my knees against his. The small amount of physical contact making me feel brave enough to say what I need to say. “Please don’t ever drive off with another woman and not come back. That shit stung.”
“Received that message, loud and clear,” Jake mumbles as his eyes travel down to my knees where they are now firmly pressed up against his thigh. “I didn’t think. I just acted. She was bleeding and was not going to take herself anywhere. I couldn’t ask one of my brothers to take her. They’d rather chew their own arms off than sit in a confined space with her. You just need to know that nothing did, or will ever again, happen with her. I despise the woman and I have no interest in her. I also need to remind you that I don’t share and therefore I don’t expect you to.”
His eyes travel back up to lock on mine. Bright green eyes stare into mine. “I took her to the hospital, they bandaged her up; I took her home. I then got Luke to come get me and we came back to the shop. That’s when I spotted Anton and after the shit night I’d already had sitting around a fucking hospital, one of the places I hate most on this earth, I lost my shit. Anton bore the brunt of that and then Luke made the call that perhaps I needed some quiet time before I spoke to you. Even in retrospect, I think he was right. I was angry last night, something you didn’t need to see, or feel.”
And then with a whoosh, I feel it
Everything settling.
Whatever it was that I was worrying about last night doesn’t exist. I’m already further in with Jake than his wife ever was. I can see it now. He doesn’t want that anymore. He wants this. He wants to be able to sit at his kitchen bench and spill his day. He doesn’t want to have to live his whole life deflecting truths and managing two lives. He just wants to live the one he has. The one he is living and the one he is committed to.
Reaching for his beer, I keep my eyes locked on his as I tip the last of it back and put the empty bottle back on the bench. “I like this,” I announce softly.
“So do I,” he murmurs back his eyes still locked on mine. “I don’t want to spend the rest of my life keeping so many Goddamned secrets that I don’t know where the truth finishes and the bullshit begins.”
I couldn’t agree more.
“I should have trusted you and I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did. I need to learn to chill.”
“You don’t just need to learn to chill Ari, you need to learn to trust. I want this. I want us to work. I need to find a way to deal with Victoria but I have to be honest and say I don’t know what to expect with her. She may never go away. Are you going to be able to deal with that?”
I shrug and nod. What else can I say? Who knows what dealing with his wife will mean, but I’m ready to give it a go. Deciding we need to move on from Victoria I change the subject. “Are you stoned?”
A look of surprise crosses Jake’s face and his lips twitch. “Yeah,” he replies with a grin forming on his lips. “Why?”
“Just wondering. Wondering if you meant everything that you just told me or you’re just talking stoner crap.”
“I’m not that stoned Ari,” Jake chuckles. “I’ve had one doob. I never go hard sweetheart. Losing control is not my thing. Tonight I felt like I needed to mellow out and wind down. A good fuck would have achieved the same result but unfortunately you weren’t here.” He grins at me again and wiggles his eyebrow piercing lewdly. “Although I am stoned enough that I suddenly have a craving for a box of Cheezels…”
“Ohmigod I love Cheezels,” I cut him off instantaneously as all other conversations are forgotten. “Please tell me you have Cheezels.”
“The way I just saw your face light up, I hope like fuckin’ Hell I have Cheezels,” he announces earnestly as he pushes his seat back and stands up. Moving off quickly, he rounds the bench with just a few of his long strides. Opening a door leading off the kitchen he is suddenly blocked from my view. I hear the click of a light switch and see more light spill into the already well lit kitchen.
Assuming he’s just disappeared into a walk in pantry I stand up from my seat to follow. Rounding the open door, I find my assumption correct and arrive to find Jake poking about among the shelves in an enormous pantry that has its own set of kitchen benches, an extra sink and a myriad of electrical appliances.
Holy cow.
Straightening up as I appear in the doorway he hits me with a boyish grin. “Bingo!” He announces happily as he produces a box of Cheezels. “Ma knows me well. There’s two more where this one came from.”
“Your mum does your shopping for you?” I announce in dismay. “You’re a grown man, can’t you even handle groceries?”
“What the fuck for when Ma likes doing that shit for me. Gives her something to do,” he replies thoughtfully as he scans the full shelves surrounding him.
“And you don’t think she has enough to do running her business?�
�� I ask incredulous that it hasn’t occurred to him that she might not have a lot of time to be doing her son’s groceries.
“But she’s got staff for that,” he replies with a shrug. “And besides, she likes to snoop through my house so doing groceries and cleaning up a bit gives her a hobby.”
And Bingo. Enter the cleaner.
“You think doing your groceries and cleaning your house is a hobby for your mother?”
“Sure,” he grins at me as he starts moving straight towards me to exit the pantry.
“I hate to break it to you, but groceries and cleaning are not hobbies. Decoupage and knitting are hobbies. Collecting stamps or watching movies are hobbies. Doing groceries is work. Cleaning is work. Cleaning in particular is crap work. Cleaning and groceries are also…” I pause to consider my next word, “Necessary.”
Arriving in front of me in two short steps, he tucks the box of Cheezels under his arm so he can grab me by both shoulders. With soft pressure he spins me to point me back out the door. With a gentle push, he propels me out of the pantry door and back into the middle of the kitchen. “I’ll consider giving on the groceries part but not on the cleaning. I think I’ve got clear evidence that cleaning is not necessary after not cleaning the shop for many years.”
“Which was gross,” I snap as I feel Jake’s hand slide down my back to settle in the small of my spine. Applying more pressure he keeps propelling me along. Unquestioningly I give to his pressure and keep moving.
“Don’t fuckin’ start,” Jake suddenly growls from somewhere close to my ear. His hot breath lifts the hair away from my neck. “You want Cheezels, you’ll shut the fuck up and get your ass into the bedroom.”
Will I?
Of course I will.
Smirking to myself I lean back slightly against his hand on my back as warmth suddenly courses through my body. I want Cheezels. And I want Jake.
“Meet me in the bedroom. I’m gunna turn off the lights, check the doors and set the alarm.”
“Give me the Cheezels first,” I order as I stop and swivel on my feet to face him.
“Nope, you want Cheezels, you have to wait for me,” he says with a grin.
“Why?”
“You’ll see, now get your fine ass into the bedroom and I’ll be there shortly,” Jake rumbles as he spins back towards the hallway, gives me another shove and heads towards the garage door.
*****
Walking back into Jake’s bedroom I’m instantly overwhelmed by a sense of unease. The last time I was here, Jake left me to take a phone call and then all hell broke loose.
Please God don’t let that shit happen again.
Staring at the huge print of a Harley Davidson motorbike hanging above the solid timber bed I sigh. There is no longer any real reason to feel uncomfortable. As far as we know, all immediate threats for my safety are over and I should be leading a more normal life. The fact that I am no longer wearing my colored contact lenses is a constant physical reminder of that. Although colored contacts are cool when you look in the mirror, they are annoying when you have to wear them every day.
Glancing around the room for a brief moment or two, I start wondering what I should do while I wait for Jake. I’m not so sure that Cheezels are what I would call a bedroom food but perhaps it’s a biker thing to eat snacks in bed.
What would I know?
Deciding I may as well get ready for bed, I head into the walk in robe to find something to wear to bed. Glancing over the few items I have neatly stacked on the shelves I realize I have no pajamas. Unconcerned by this, I head to one of Jake’s shelves and grab myself a clean Harley t-shirt. The shirt is big and soft and will make a fantastic nightie.
Moving into the en suite, I find my toiletries are still sitting on the sink where I left them three nights ago. Smiling to myself, I hurry to change out of my clothes and drag Jake’s huge, soft, cotton t-shirt over my head. I then brush my teeth, give my hair a quick brush and head back to the bedroom.
Jake’s already there.
Looking as happy as a clam at high tide, he’s sitting on his bed, leaning back against some pillows propped up against the headrest. He’s already opened his box of Cheezels and he’s digging in. Munching away happily and looking pleased with himself, he grins up at me as I pass through the doorway.
“Nice shirt,” he announces as he digs his hand back into the box of Cheezels, pulling out two more tubes. My eyes hone in on his fingers and I immediately decide I can’t wait to have one. Walking straight towards him I put my hand out ready to grab one of the tasty treats.
Looking at my hand, Jake grins cheekily as he shakes his head at me. Quickly moving the box of Cheezels and tucking them on the far side of his body, he pops the two Cheezels in his mouth, chews and then announces, “Ah, ah, ah. You gotta earn Cheezels.”
Huh?
“What?” I snap surprised as I stand at the side of the bed. “Don’t be a knob, just give me some.”
“Nope,” he grins up at me, evidence of his Cheezel feasting all over his teeth. “My Cheezels.”
“Are you serious?” I snap at him angrily as I start to wonder whether I’m going to get to enjoy even one of those yummy little cheesy tubes of joy.
“Dead serious,” he deadpans, the grin disappearing from his face. “I’ve been in many fistfights over Cheezels; they are a prize that must be earned.”
“You’ve fought over Cheezels?” His words stop me in my tracks and I find myself rocking back onto my heels as I stare at him in disbelief.
“Of course I have. Zane likes Cheezels too.” The grin starts to sneak back onto his face and his eyes sparkle a brighter green. I find my eyes sliding down over his shoulder and following his tattoo down his arm. My eyes then travel across his huge chest and to his six pack now neatly folding together as he sits on the bed.
Fuck he’s gorgeous.
“Everyone likes Cheezels,” I announce suspiciously as I move my eyes to the box tucked safely under his arm on the far side of the bed. “What do you mean I have to earn them?”
Jake blinks slowly as he carefully studies my face. His lips twitch slightly as his eyes slide to the box of Cheezels at his side. He studies the box thoughtfully for a beat or two and then shifts his eyes back to mine. His face splits into a huge grin and as he licks his lips. His tongue lingers for a while on the split on his lip. “Entertain me.”
“Entertain you?” I announce disbelievingly. “You are seriously gunna make me do something to earn Cheezels?”
He nods.
“That’s just mean, I love Cheezels,” I grumble as I knit my brows and stare longingly at the box he seems unwilling to share with me. I really would like some. Cheezels are that good.
“Then you had better get to entertaining me,” Jake smirks as he lifts a hand and digs into the box, pulling out a single Cheezel to wave it in front of my face. Watching the movement of his arm and the way his biceps bulge just lifting the minuscule weight of a Cheezel, my mouth starts to water. I start to wonder what it is I’d prefer to get my mouth around, a Cheezel or him.
Deciding I’ll play his game, I feint with my hand to snatch at the little yellow tube in Jake’s hand knowing full well I’ll never get a hold of it. He confirms my suspicions when he whips it to his mouth and gobbles it down.
“Bastard,” I snarl as I cover up a smile threatening my lips by sneering at him.
“Bored bastard,” he corrects me with another cheesy grin. “Don’t you want some of my Cheezels? They’re good,” he announces as he reaches for another and then chews it on it slowly. “Yummy. Cheesy.” He smiles up at me his eyes sparkling with mischief.
Staring at the box still tucked up tightly beside him for a few more moments I slide my eyes back to his mouth as he slowly chews on his food. “Clearly it’s good to be the King,” I mumble as I consider my alternatives. I could just go back to the kitchen and get my own box of Cheezels, or I could bite.
I think I’ll bite.
Grinning openly at
him I climb onto the bed and straddle his lap. “Any preferences on the type of entertainment then?”
“None at all,” he grins as he reaches for the box and moves it away from his side and over to the other side of the bed, well out of my reach.
Letting the grin slowly slide from my face, I pin him with serious eyes. “Can’t I at least have an incentive Cheezel?”
“Sure. As soon as you give me a preview of the planned entertainment,” he grins back at me, his eyes sparkling and full of life.
Barely hesitating, I grab for the hem of the Harley t-shirt I put on just a few short minutes ago and rip it up over my head. Tossing it across the room, my eyes lock back on Jake’s. They’re no longer sparkling and they’re no longer studying my face.
They’re staring at my bare chest and they’re almost black.
In fact they are the darkest shade of green that one could possibly think of and they seem bottomless. Not moving his eyes from my chest for even a second, I watch as his left hand snakes out to grab the box of Cheezels from the far side of the bed. A second later the entire box is thrust into my face.
Taking the box from his hand, I grin. “That’s it?”
“They’re yours,” he growls as his hands come down to wrap around my hips. Within an instant I’m lifted and spun over to land on my back with Jake hovering above me. The abruptness of the maneuver shaking the Cheezel box and Cheezels fly everywhere.
“Woops,” I mumble as I stare at the mess all over the bed and reach out for the nearest Cheezel. Gently pushing my finger into the tube I lift it to my lips. Pausing to eye it happily before I close my eyes, slowly part my lips and push my finger into my mouth. Sucking the Cheezel off my finger slowly, I moan.
Cheezels are good.
Deciding to savor my prize, I chew it slowly and swallow before finally opening my eyes to find Jake still hovering above me, his lips parted, his eyes dark and inky. He’s blinking very slowly.
My eyes hone in on the split on his lip again and I wince. Lifting my finger, I gently touch the split. “Does it hurt?”
“Not at all,” he replies quickly. “Eat another Cheezel.”
