by KK Bauer
A sneer plays on his lips as he takes her wrist bindings and re-secures them above her head, tying them to the corner of the cot. My body goes into overdrive, starting to realize what he is going to do. I’m hoping and praying I’m wrong. But as he trails his nasty hand down her face, chest, stomach, and to her shorts to unbutton them, I know I’m right.
Before I can retaliate, the other man grabs my restraints and pulls me to the wall, where he holds me back. My jaw is clenched so tight my teeth could shatter at any second.
Carlos rips her shorts down to her ankles where they get tangled in her bindings. He does the same with her underwear and she is weeping uncontrollably now, her body convulsing as she sobs.
“NO! You sick bastard, don’t fucking touch her!” I scream and pull hard against the knots around my ankles and wrists. The other guy yanks back and I slide to my knees, still refusing to give up. I continue to fight against him but he is holding his ground and I can’t gain any momentum to uproot him.
Carlos looks at me with spite, and says calmly, “You get to watch while I make her scream.” He slides his belt off and throws it on the floor and pulls out a condom packet from his filthy jeans.
I yell and curse while he hovers over her. She continues to buck around as best as she can but once his weight pushes down on her his strength overpowers her. I squeeze my eyes tight, not wanting to watch what is happening.
“No, no, no, please, don’t… please…” Aubrey pleads, desperation lacing in her voice. Her pleas become louder and more frantic as the seconds go by. But her begging does her no good because the next thing I hear is her scream out and cry loudly. The man behind me elbows me in the side and breathes something incoherent into my ear. He smells of stale beer and cigarettes.
“You will watch!” Carlos yells from over by the bed. “Watch or I do it again.”
I open my eyes and force myself to watch the most horrific thing I might ever see. Tears are streaming down Aubrey’s face and she keeps mumbling ‘no’ and ‘please’ over and over again. Her chin and lower lip is quivering uncontrollably and seeing her in so much pain and anguish gives me a second wind.
I jerk forcefully against the man and he startles and drops me. I come so close to ramming Carlos away but the other one catches up to me, yanking me back with only inches left between me and Carlos. In no time at all, Carlos finishes, but not before Aubrey throws up all over him. He curses and yells in Spanish and thrusts hard into her to punish her for it. He grabs her by the cheeks and digs his fingers into her skin. Then he releases and smacks her face hard, causing her head to whip to the side.
He pulls off of her and slips his jeans back up from his knees. I am panting heavily from exertion and sorrow, hating myself for allowing that to happen. The second man throws me to the floor and walks over to Aubrey and touches her, slipping his finger inside of her. She makes a defying sound but can’t move enough out of the way to get him to stop. Her thighs are trembling and twitching while he touches her.
“I get next,” he says confidently and pulls her underwear and shorts back up. He unties her from the cot and the two of them leave, but not before smiling at me maliciously.
I am shaking with so much anger my restraints are rattling. I want to kill them, with my bare hands. Watching that is and will be the worst thing that has happened to me. And poor Aubrey, I can’t even begin to fathom how she is feeling. I was here, five feet from her and couldn’t stop it. I am a failure and a liar. I vowed to keep her safe when I couldn’t. I almost hate myself more than I hate the men. Almost.
Aubrey rolls to her side and throws up again, this time on the floor. She just lays there lax with her head hanging over the side of the cot, unmoving.
“Aubrey… baby, look at me.” Her head rises slightly and she looks up at me through her eyelashes. “I’m so sorry.” She has vomit in some strands of her hair and a stain on her shirt.
She stares at me for a moment, the sadness in her eyes evident. Then she rolls back over and lies on her back. For the rest of the night, every time I look up to check on her, she is in the same position, her eyes never close or stray from a water spot on the ceiling.
Another two days or so pass, and they are much the same as the first day. They haven’t touched Aubrey again and rarely come in, only to bring us food and water. They keep our hands tied in front of us which helps for when we need toeat and use the toilet.
Aubrey and I are sitting on the floor with our backs to the wall, trying to keep our spirits up.
“Have you ever loved anybody?” She asks me. I just finished telling her about my senior prom when my girlfriend Shannon brought a flask filled with vodka and threw up all over the dance floor after making out with my friend. I stopped seeing her then, obviously.
“No, I don’t think so. I’ve said it to girls, like Shannon, but I don’t think I ever meant it. What about you?” I turn my head and watch her as she thinks about it.
“No, me neither. I’ve only had one real boyfriend and I don’t think I ever did love him. But I don’t have anything to compare it to, I guess.”
“What happened to him?”
She smiles sadly and says, “He was a fan of threesomes with sorority girls. I wasn’t.”
We sit silently as I process that information. Suddenly I can’t keep in the laugh. She glares at me but starts laughing as well. I don’t think it is really that funny but we’ve been in this dingy room for over three days and we are starting to get loopy.
“That’s the last time I date a baseball player,” she laughs one last time.
“Wait, what? He is a baseball player? What’s his name?” I am intrigued.
“Corey Howard, why?”
“Corey?! You dated Corey?”
“Yes,” She says hesitantly. “You know him?”
“Yeah, we’re on the team together.”
“Oh yeah, I forgot you were on the team. Ha.”
I let out a humorless laugh and nod. “If we get out of here, what’s the first thing you’re going to do?” I ask.
“Aside from eating the world’s largest cheeseburger? Hmm… probably take an hour long shower.” She closes her eyes, imagining the feel of a shower. Yesterday the men stripped us naked and sprayed us down with a hose. That was our version of a ‘shower.’ We found out then that the other man’s name is Andres.
“Okay, your turn. What would you do?”
“Aside from the cheeseburger?” She laughs and nods. “I’d ask you on a date. Though I guess you’d say no since I’m a baseball player,” I tease.
She laughs harder, thinking I must be joking. “You’d ask me out before even showering or calling your parents? Damn, I’m good.”
I look down at her legs and see fingertip-sized bruises on the outside of her thighs. I know there are many other bruises and cuts on her body, but those have a special meaning. I grit my teeth as my jaw works to fight against my fury. I take a deep breath and calm down. “I should have told you before.”
“Told me what?”
“How I feel about you. I… I wasn’t sure what I wanted, but I know I liked you… I still do. I regret not telling you earlier, I regret not kissing you when I wanted to… and I wanted to- a lot. I regret yelling at you that night when you ran off. I regret Cara and that girl, I regret making you sad. I want you to be happy.”
A tear runs down her cheek and I wipe it away with my thumb. “I’m sorry. I will do whatever it takes to make it better.”
She turns her head and sniffs. She leans forward just slightly and barely presses her lips to mine. Even though we are dehydrated and dirty, her lips are soft. I lick my chapped ones and kiss her again. She pulls away and buries her head into my shoulder to cry. I want to wrap my arms around her but can’t so I kiss her hair instead.
“Promise me you’ll get us out of here.” I can barely hear her, but her tiny voice sends chills down my spine.
“I promise.” I promise her, even though I don’t know if I can.
I stir to a
small sound, opening up my eyes and seeing only darkness. My bones and muscles refuse to work as I lay there on the concrete floor. The sound I heard came from in front of me, where Aubrey is on the cot. But I still can’t see anything so I listen. First a sniff, then a sob, then a tiny squeak of the springs on the cot.
I have woken plenty of times to Aubrey crying, and at first I think this is all it is. But I hear something else that I normally don’t. It’s the sound of heavy breathing and it isn’t coinciding with Aubrey’s sobs.
As my vision slowly becomes used to the darkness, I faintly see a large shadow on the cot. Aubrey whimpers again and I can see clearly enough to know that one of the men is on top of her again. I can’t let them touch her again. I need to put them in their place for touching my girl like that.
I’ve grown smarter since being thrown in here. I slowly move my head around, to see if the other one is here. When it appears empty, I twist my way over the ground closer to them, as soundlessly as I can. When I am all but at the side of the cot, I maneuver my way around to the foot of it, where the man’s back is to me.
I carefully stand, wobbling slightly when I lose balance and when my bones protest. My knees crack when I straighten them and I freeze. To me it sounded like a shotgun ringing through the space, but paranoia must be eating away at me. The man never falters. He is still on top of Aubrey and doesn’t even notice me behind him.
I wish I had a fucking baseball bat or something. But all I have are my weak, tied up arms. I lift them above my head and throw all my weight and energy down onto my elbows and strike him in the center of the back.
He howls in pain and swings an arm back hoping to hit me. He misses by a few inches and I feel a small breeze from the speed of his arm tickle my face. He hops up and charges me.
“Kellan!” Aubrey shrieks.
Now that he is facing me, I see that it is Andres. He is fuming. His hands circle around my throat and he squeezes tightly before throwing me to the ground. I am a good six inches taller than him but in my weak and restrained state, I’m like a ragdoll. My elbow and shoulder throbs in pain as I hit the concrete. Andres kicks me hard in the stomach and I move my arms to cover my midsection. He doesn’t relent and kicks again, making contact with my forearm. The next kick is to my face, busting my lip open.
I see him rear his leg back again, and I prepare myself for the next blow.
13
Aubrey
“Asshole!” Andres yells, then continues to spew out Spanish. I peer over and see Kellan curled into a ball, alternating between covering his face and his stomach. Finally Andres spits on Kellan and walks over to turn on the single light bulb. It sways back and forth as he walks past it, making shadows move around the room.
He makes his way to me, still with my underwear and shorts jumbled around my ankles. I half expect him to finish the job he came in here for, but instead he grabs my panties and rips them off completely, nothing but shreds in his hand. He forcefully sticks his fingers into me and slowly pulls them out.He licks one finger and smiles. It’s fucking disgusting and the vomit that has been sitting in my gut threatens to escape. After he unhooks my wrists from the bed, he pulls my shorts up and smacks me in the face then walks out the room in a huff.
I have been violated twice in a few days. I feel dirty and weak. I don’t know if the men planned on doing this to me from the second they took me, or if it was just convenient for them. They both had beer on their breaths when they did it. My body is still shaking uncontrollably but I need to focus on Kellan now.
I scramble as best I can down to him. He is still in the fetal position, and his mouth is all bloody and as I lift my wrists I touch his face lightly, he winces when I run my fingers over a large bump on his chin. It’s hard to see it with the stubble he has from lack of shaving the last few days.
“Shit,” he groans. I let a sob escape when I see how much pain he is in.
“Kellan, why did you do that?” I don’t mean it to come out harshly, but it does.
“He was fucking raping you, Aubrey, did you want me to just sit there and fucking watch again?”
“If it will prevent you from getting beat up then, yes.” I mean it, too.
“I won’t do it, Aubrey. I won’t let them do that to you. I don’t care if they kill me, I can’t watch that again.” I can hear the desperation and rage in his voice, it cracking a little.
“Okay,” I whisper and lean forward and kiss his forehead. He closes his eyes at my touch and I kiss his eyelids. “I’m sorry.”
“We need to stop apologizing to each other. Otherwise that’s all we will do for the next year,” he jokes.
I laugh despite myself. “Alright, then I’m not sorry. I take them all back.”
“Good. Don’t ever be sorry for anything with me. More than likely I deserve it.” I waddle over to the bucket and dip an empty water bottle in it, getting just enough water for him to rinse his mouth out.When I get back to him, I help him up in a sitting position and tip the bottle back. The action hurts a lot, I can tell. He spits into the drain in the center of the floor, the clear liquid tinged with red. I go back to the bucket and wrap some toilet paper around my hand and wet it.
I start to dab the blood off of his lips carefully, as not to hurt him too much. He flinches when I touch the cut directly and I grimace. “Sorry. Shit, I’m sorry I said sorry…” I sigh in frustration. “Nevermind.”
He lifts his arms, cringing slightly at the movement, and circles them wide enough so he can drop them around me. He places his hands under my ass and lifts me up onto his lap so I’m straddling him. I forgot my panties were ripped off me until just then.
“Thank you for taking care of me,” Kellan says. “I wish I could have taken better care of you.”
“You still can. Just make it up to me when we get out of here.”
He starts to smile but I can tell it hurts so he clears his throat and says, “Deal.” He squeezes me tighter and buries his head into my neck. “Even though we’ve been in here forever you still smell good. And your hairy legs are hot.”
I laugh and playfully elbow him in the chest, not realizing that I might have just hurt him. I don’t know if he was kicked there but he doesn’t flinch and chuckles instead. We quickly unravel from each other, afraid Carlos and Andres will come back and be mad. I go to the toilet first and pee before crawling back into the cot to feign sleep.
The next night Carlos and Andres comes in to give us dinner. That is the only way we know time passes. Around dinnertime they come in to feed us and we know another day goes by.
Kellan and I haven’t really discussed the plan as far as getting out of here. We always say ‘when we get out of here’ instead of ‘if we get out of here’ and it gives us just the right amount of hope to keep going. If Kellan didn’t follow me that night and get stuck with me, I’d be a goner by now. I would have gone crazy and tried something drastic.
He keeps me sane and I do the same with him.
Carlos shoves the bowl into my hands and throws the fork into the bowl. It looks like boxed macaroni and cheese again, for the third night in a row, but the noodles don’t look cooked enough. I will eat it anyway but I know once we get out of here I won’t be able to touch the stuff again.
“The money isn’t coming. You lie,” Carlos sneers at me.
“What? What do you mean?” Has he put up a ransom?
“We called his parents and they had deadline of five today. No money yet.”
Oh my God. The sliver of hope I had when he talked about Kellan’s parents was crushed when he said they didn’t meet the deadline. I feel the tears bubbling up into my eyes. When I blink they tumble out and fall down my face until they drop off of my chin and onto my shirt.
“We’ll check in the morning. Eat. You shower after,” Carlos demands. He walks out the room, but Andres stays. When Kellan lifts the fork to his mouth, Andres swats at the bowl, scattering the food all over the floor. Cheesy noodles lay there in the dirt, clearly inedible n
ow.
With an ominous laugh, Andres leaves the room and slams the door behind him. Kellan looks defeated, like he might break at any moment. I scoot off the cot and sit beside him and we eat my bowl of undercooked macaroni together.
“It’s time. I can’t take it anymore. We have to do this.”
“But you heard what Carlos said. The money might be here by the morning. Maybe they’ll let us out then,” I reason.
“Do you really think they’ll let us out once they have the money? We know what they look like, we know their names. They’d be idiots if they let us go.”
Kellan is right. There is no way they’ll let us leave here alive. I expected myself to break down and cry over this realization. But instead, a sense of urgency fills me. I nod slowly and say, “Okay. You’re right. We need to plan this.”
“Here’s what I’ve come up with. Now, I think planning how to escape isn’t going to work. It needs to be spontaneous. We can go through scenarios but I really think if it’s planned it will backfire on us. What we can do is come up with signals and things so we can communicate with each other without them knowing.”
I nod again, this time cogently. “And we need to come up with some way to meet up if we get separated,” I say thoughtfully.
“I’m not leaving you,” he growls.
“But we need to plan for it, just in case. Who knows what can happen.”
Before we can continue, Carlos and Andres stride in. They each grab one of us and drag us down the hallway to another small room. There is a small hole in the wall as a window in this room and I peer up at it inconspicuously. There are vertical bars hindering most of the view but I can just see enough. Luckily it is still somewhat light outside and I can see an old dilapidated gas station sign across the way and a rusty red building with peeling white paint. A small sign is in the window and I can make out the first part of it. I can see ‘Manny’s’ and there is more after it but the angle isn’t right to see.
