I turn off the shower and step out, quickly dressing and towel drying my hair.
Last night was the best night’s sleep I’d had in weeks and it has everything to do with the one who slept beside me, while my knife sat on the table beside him.
My knife that was given to me by his father.
What a crazy few fucking days.
I quietly step into the living room area of the suite, and as expected, it was Captain’s footsteps out on the balcony that woke me.
He stands there looking over the foggy city a moment before running his hands down his face. He grips the railing, dropping his chin to his chest, and the sight has a pain hitting mine.
I knew he’d be the first up, if he ever even closed his eyes.
My footsteps give me away and he glances over, a wretched smile on his lips.
I pull my sleeves over my hands and blow into my palms, moving to stand beside him. We both stare out at the early morning city below.
“How many times have you asked yourself if he really did it?” My question comes after a few quiet minutes. I don’t have to say what it is, he knows what I’m referring to just like I know what’s on his mind.
He has a baby girl to love and protect, even if that means protecting her from his own father.
“Too many to count.” He looks my way. “And every time I do, I feel guilty for it.”
“And then you feel angry, followed by ...”
He frowns, but admits quietly, “Unworthy. Of her.”
I clear my throat, wanting to look away, completely overtaken by the torment in his eyes, but I don’t dare. If this shit’s hard for me, must be ten times harder for him.
“Captain,” I call his name, even though he’s already focused solely on me. “Your dad, the man who saved you, who loved your biological father as a brother, like you do yours...” I trail off and his hand shoots out to grip mine on the railing, the corner of his eyes tightening. “He did not rape my mother. He is not a rapist.”
His grip on my fingers tightens, and he starts to shake a little, so I step closer.
“Rolland was good to me, too,” I whisper. “The only one that ever was, to be honest. He was the first person I ever felt any kindness from, I remember that clearly. The knife? He gave it to me because he said he wanted me to be able to protect myself. I was just some kid he didn’t know and had no tie to, and he wanted me to be safe.” He tries to fight it off, but he can’t, and his frown grows a little glossy.
“If he wanted that for me, some random kid in a beat-up trailer, imagine what he would do to protect his own grandbaby, pac man?” I whisper. “I’d bet he’d die for her.”
He pulls his lips between his teeth, nodding as he takes his eyes from mine. A deep, ragged breath leaves him, and his head falls back, a heavy chuckle escaping him. In the next second, he yanks me against him, hugging me tight.
I let him hold on until he’s ready to let go, but even when he does he only pulls back a bit.
“Raven—”
“Don’t,” I cut him off. “Don’t thank me. You deserve to know all that. He’s your dad, Cap, and that’s your daughter.”
He sighs. “My mind, it’s been fucking with me lately. I knew something was coming, I get that nagging in my gut right before it does, every damn time. I didn’t know what I’d have to do. I love my brothers, and I love my father, but if he was guilty of what they said, I ...” He trails off taking a deep breath. “Zoey is everything to me, Raven. I’d—”
“Stop. You don’t have to say it.”
He nods. “I know they’d stand with me, whatever I needed, they’d do it beside me without question, it’s who they are, who we are as a unit, but I’d hate to of had to be the reason they lost our dad a second time.”
“Yeah, well,” I try and make light of things. “My mom sent your dad to prison for eleven years, Cap, and look where I’m standing right now.”
The corner of his lips tip up, some light coming back in his blue-green eyes. “Yeah, pretty sure it could have been you yourself who did, and you’d still be standing here.”
I widen my eyes teasingly, happy we’re back in territory I’m comfortable with. “Because I’m awesome.”
He gives me a playful shove. “Yeah, Raven, you kinda are.” His eyes fall another minute before coming back to mine, a newfound softness to them he’s yet to show. “I heard about your little run-in with her, that’s how we knew you were still ours.”
I look away with a shrug, doing my best to keep my emotions in check.
“Raven.”
“I said stop. It’s not a big deal.”
“Oh, it is a big deal, but fine. I’ll stop.” He laughs, searching out my eyes again. A heavy exhale leaving him. “We weren’t ready for you, Raven Carver. We weren’t fucking ready.”
I shift my frown to the city below again, dismissing his words. “Wanna go in now? You can make me a cup of coffee in that fancy machine in there. I’m freezing, in need of caffeine, and I have no idea what to do with all those buttons.”
With a light touch to my shoulders, he turns me around to face the room.
Maddoc is in the little kitchen-like area, leaning against the countertop, a hot cup of coffee at his lips and one right in front of him. Eyes on me.
I turn back to Captain.
He smiles, and even though he’s still got a lot to work out, I can tell he’s lighter right now than he’s been in weeks. He winks, and I move toward Maddoc.
Maddoc pushes to stand at his full height as I grow closer, and when I reach him, he nods to my cup, but before I can even make a move to pick it up, he grips my chin between his knuckles and holds my face still.
He drops down, bringing his mouth to my ear. He grazes his lips across the sensitive skin beneath it before whispering, “You keep this up, and I might have to do something real crazy, like lock you in my room and throw away the key.”
“Keep what up?” I murmur against his chest.
“Fixing us. Making us better. Making us stronger.”
My throat closes, and a frown pulls at my brows.
He keeps going. “You recognize what we need and when, like you’ve known us all your life. You’re connected to us, and that’s not something we’ll ever be willing to let go of, Raven. Never. None of us. No matter fucking what.”
They’ll never let you go. Not now that they have you. My mother’s words slam me in the face and I tense.
He feels it and pulls back to look at me, a scowl in place.
“Shut shit down in your head, Raven. Now,” he warns, picking up my cup, and handing it to me.
“What if I decide I don’t wanna stay?” I ask even though that’s the farthest thing from the truth at this point.
A slow smirk stretches across his lips and he pushes against me. “I’ll pretend you have a choice, and say it’ll be a damn good time convincing you, too.”
I glare. “I hope you know if I wanted to leave, you couldn’t stop me.”
With an airy chuckle, he moves past me, throwing over his shoulder, “Keep believing that if it makes you feel better. Either way, you stay.”
Sexy bossy bastard.
As soon as everyone got up and dressed, we took our time, jacked around a bit, before hitting the road and driving through the night.
The sun is only starting to rise when we make it back.
As soon as we pull through the tree line, Maybell steps out the front door of the mansion.
Bitterness fills me.
Even though she owes me nothing, I can’t help but feel a sense of betrayal by her.
I’m not stupid, I know she knew what I was walking into at the courthouse. I’d bet she knew the entire story and more. It was in the way her eyes hesitated, all the cryptic things she’d say to me, her allowing me to move in with the boys. Yes, she can’t exactly control them, but she was a little too happy to watch it happen.
And I’m pretty damn sure she already knew Ms. Vega, even though the day I was dropped off by my
probably not a social worker social worker they acted as if they’d only just met.
She starts toward us, opening her arms for Maddoc to walk into.
He kisses her hair and she pats his back, moving to cup his face when she steps back. “You okay, boy?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
She tears up, taps his cheek and moves to hug each of the boys.
Maybell takes a deep breath before she turns to me.
I can’t help it, I know I’m wearing a frown of some sort, but I no longer trust the woman in front of me, not that I ever did. I guess what I mean is I wanted to, but now I know I shouldn’t.
I can’t trust her just because they do. There can be no free pass.
The weight of the boys’ stares has me wanting to look to them, but I won’t make this easy on her by breaking contact.
“I’d like to talk to, Raven. Alone,” she says.
The wrinkles framing her eyes become more profound when all three hesitate a moment before walking in the house.
I waste no time. “You knew and you let me get ambushed.”
“I learned along the way,” she admits. “Suspected a bit when I saw where you were coming from, and then I pieced it all together. Once I opened my eyes, it was clear.”
“You’re being real careful with your words right now, Maybell. You’re afraid to speak openly because you’re not so sure what all we figured out.”
She doesn’t deny it. “Everything I do or don’t do is for those boys.”
Right. Because that is where her loyalty lays, as it should. I’m just the outsider, something I need to be sure to remember when others are involved.
“You can’t ask me not to tell them you hid this.”
She nods earnestly. “I know, and I won’t.” She steps closer with sad eyes. “Just like you won’t tell them because you know I had no vicious intent. I love them and you see that.”
“No good will come of lies.”
“I know. And tell them if you need to, but I think it’s irrelevant at this point. I know it hurt you in the end, but it helped my boys, and that’s what I needed to happen. I’m sorry, child.” Her eyelids slope. “It won’t be fun being caught in the middle of this.”
Won’t be fun, as in there’s still more to come?
“He bought me from her and fed me to his sons.”
“And you don’t exactly hate the outcome, do you?”
“I—” My mouth clamps shut.
Well, shit. No. I don’t. Much prefer it, in fact.
But who the hell knows what Rolland Brayshaw has planned for me.
I look back to Maybell, who reaches up and gently palms my cheek. “Don’t let that woman’s words play tricks in your mind, child, you’re smarter than that. I told you once before, you belonged. I asked you to start believing it and you have. Keep pushing back at the nagging inside telling you it’s not right. It is. But, Raven. It’s also not over. There’s a long road ahead, more to learn, more challenges to face.”
“Like what?”
“In time, child.” She steps back. “Go on inside, they’ve been waiting to have you home, but then everything happened with Maddoc and still it wasn’t right. You’re all here, now. Your man, and his brothers. Go, and try to love them like they love you.”
With that, she walks away, and I can’t help but wonder what the hell I’ve gotten myself into.
Or more, what the hell did my mom get me into?
The holidays passed in a blur. I was thankful when Christmas morning came and went without mention – seems the boys aren’t ones for celebrating either.
I did, however, find a brand new iPod and wireless earbuds sitting under my pillow that night. By the way Maddoc frowned at the items, I knew he wasn’t the one who left it. Then, when I pushed play and the first song that hit my ears was “Bad Bitch” by Bebe Rexha, I knew it was Royce.
I should have figured as much right away.
Maddoc would have tossed it at me and told me not to argue but accept, while Cap would have walked in and sat down, placing it in my hands, but Royce? He’s the silent little lover type who hides his underlying sweetness with dirty innuendoes and flat out raunchiness. And somehow it totally works for him.
Captain pulls his SUV into the parking lot at Weston High, not one of us moving to step out when he puts it in park.
Both boys shift in the front seats so they can meet Maddoc’s eyes.
“If he steps on the court tonight, freeze him out. He doesn’t touch our ball, I don’t give a fuck what the situation is or who tries to force otherwise. Collins Graven is no Wolf, he won’t be treated like one.”
They agree and the four of us step out right as a few other cars pull in, parking beside us.
Mac steps out of one with a couple other guys from their team, and Leo steps from the other.
He doesn’t spare me a glance, not even a glare, in fact, but moves to the guys for some bullshit bro-shake. He purposely positions himself between me and Captain.
“You missed a couple bangers, man,” Leo laughs, shifting a little more right so I’m at his back, now blocked from both Cap and Maddoc’s view. “Bunch of gymnasts and shit were in town for some showcase. Helluva time.”
Only Mac laughs, entertaining his fake news.
In the same second, Maddoc reaches around him and drags me forward, my shoulder knocking into the dickhead beside me as he does. He spins me around, pulling my ass against him, so I’m face to face with Leo with him now at my back.
Leo falters a second when he sees Maddoc’s possessive hands on my abdomen, frowning at his feet a moment when I lean into him even more, but he catches himself quick and takes a half step back.
“Anyway, yeah, man. It was a good time.” He quickly looks to them. “You guys ready to go in yet?”
Maddoc drops against the bumper of the SUV. “We’ve got some business first.”
Maddoc gives a sharp tone I wasn’t expecting, and I force a straight face when really I’m on the edge of a smirk.
Leo can’t hold it in, though, and his scowl is caught.
“You can go inside,” Maddoc adds, officially coloring me curious in the shift between boy and master.
Leo licks his lips, glancing from one Brayshaw to the next, and I doubt he realizes it, but there’s a hardness tethered in fear staring back.
He’s angry, but more, he’s a scared little bitch.
“Yeah, all right.” He looks to Mac.
“Mac stays,” Royce adds, knowing Leo was about to call on him.
Leo gives a tight shrug before walking off, his grip on the strap of his duffle bag real fucking tight.
My eyes follow him and every rigid step he takes, so do Mac’s.
Only once Leo is far enough away does he move closer.
“Something I should know?” Mac asks in confusion.
“No.” Maddoc’s hold on me tightens. “Any word on if Collins talked?”
“Nah, man. He’s a dumb fucker, but he’s not stupid enough to run his mouth at Brayshaw.”
The guys don’t say anything, but their silence is enough for me to know they disagree. It isn’t something to be spoken out loud for another ear to hear, though.
“Let’s get in there,” Captain says and he, Mac, and Royce all move to grab their bags.
Maddoc buries his face in my neck and presses his lips right against my pulse there. He makes no other move, but it kicks harder from the simple contact and as if he was waiting for it, his lips stretch into a smile against my skin.
I roll my eyes even though he can’t see me and push off him right as the others step back around with his bag also in hand.
We only get a foot through the door before we’re rushed by their coach and shoved through a side door leading to an empty locker room.
Coach Brail grips Maddoc by the collar and shoves him against the cool metal.
I jerk forward but get yanked back by Royce.
“I told you to keep your fucking cool!” he shouts in his face
.
Maddoc makes no sound, but quickly dislodges himself and in an instant, he’s flipped it, and the coach is slammed against the lockers.
His eyes widen then narrow.
“Watch your fucking hands, and your mouth while you’re at it.” He jerks him forward, slamming him again, then steps back.
“Your dad—”
“Isn’t here,” Captain supplies easily.
“Time you realize that.” Royce steps forward.
A chill runs down my spine and a smirk finds my lips.
I fucking love this shit, when they power up and the front line grows stronger, their reach further.
“We respect you, Coach,” Maddoc tells him. “We work our asses off and listen to what you have to say and perfect what you tell us to. We listen to every fucking word you say ... on the court. Not fucking off it, and not when it messes with my family. We did what you said, what he told you to tell us, and that didn’t work out well for any of us. No fucking more. From now on, you will do as we say, when we say it.” The coach’s features tighten, and concern fills his eyes.
“You won’t be seen as going rogue. He’s on board,” Captain speaks of their dad, letting the man know he can breathe a little easier.
Coach Brail’s shoulders relax some and he gives a very reluctant nod.
Maddoc backs away, shrugging. “It’s nothing personal. You know we’d take a hit for you, but Raven will take no more from any-fucking-body. No one gets a pass, it’s the only way to fix this mess. The leash needs to be tightened.”
The coach looks ready to argue, but instead a tight chuckle leaves him, and I tense when he steps forward. He smacks a hand down on Maddoc’s shoulder giving him a little shake and walks out.
What the fuck was that?
“Respect.”
I jump when Royce answers what I thought was an inner thought and the guys chuckle around me.
“Let’s go, we’ve got a game to play.”
Coincidently, Collins is a no-show to the game, but Perkins is front and center looking far too disappointed when his school’s team plays one sick ass game of ball and takes the win in the end.
Trouble at Brayshaw High Page 15
