by J. R. Ward
Chapter Forty-one
Jane backed into her garage, put the Audi in park, and just sat there with the engine going. On the passenger seat beside her were the results of the CAT scan Manello and she had sneaked in. Big all-clear. No evidence of tumor or aneurism or anything out of order.
She should have felt relieved, but the lack of explanation bothered her because her thought processes remained slow and cumbersome. It was almost as if her neuropathways had to work around some kind of obstacle in her head. And her chest still hurt like a bitch¡ª
A man stepped into the beams of her headlights. . . a huge man with dark hair and a goatee and leathers. Behind him the landscape was blurry, as if he had stepped out of a fog.
Jane immediately burst into tears.
This man. . . this apparition. . . he was her shadow, the thing in her mind, the haunting presence that she knew yet couldn't recognize, that she mourned yet couldn't place. It all made sense¡ª
On her next breath pain lanced into her temples, a horrible crushing burden.
But instead of rolling through her, it dissipated, just floated off, leaving not even a sting behind. In its wake images came to her, images of her operating on this man, of her being kidnapped and being held in a room with him. . . of them being together. . . of her. . . falling in love. . . then getting left behind.
V.
The onslaught of memory warped and shifted as her mind struggled to find purchase in a slippery reality. This couldn't be happening. He couldn't be back. He wasn't coming back.
She must be dreaming.
"Jane," the apparition of her lover said. Oh, God. . . His voice was the same as it had been, deep and lovely, sliding into her ear like wine-colored silk. "Jane. . . "
Fumbling with the ignition, she turned off the lights and got out of the Audi.
The air was cold on her wet cheeks, and her heart pounded as she said, "Are you real?"
"Yes. "
"How do I know?" Her voice cracked, and she touched her temples. "I don't know anything anymore. I can't. . . think right anymore. "
"Jane. . . " he breathed. "I'm so sorry¡ª"
"My head's not right. "
"It's my fault. It's all my fault. " The strain and the sorrow in his proud face pierced her confusion, offering her some ground to stand on.
She took a deep breath and thought of Russell Crowe toward the end of A Beautiful Mind. Bracing herself, she walked up to what seemed to be V, put two fingers on his shoulder, and pushed.
He was solid as stone. And he smelled the same. . . dark spices. And his eyes¡ªthose brilliant diamond eyes¡ªglowed as they always had.
"I thought you'd left for good," she whispered. "Why. . . "
At this point she only hoped to understand what was going on and why he'd returned.
"I'm not getting mated. "
Her breath stopped. "You aren't?"
He shook his head. "I couldn't do it. I can't be with anyone but you. I don't know if you want me¡ª"
Before she had another conscious thought, she jumped up and latched onto him, not giving a shit about the barriers of species and circumstance. She just needed him. The rest was conversation to be figured out later.
"Of course I want you," she said right in his ear. "I love you. "
He let loose some kind of hoarse word, and his arms crushed her to him. As she found herself not being able to breathe because he was squeezing her so tight, she thought, Yup, this really was him. And he wasn't going to let her go this time.
Thank. God.
As he held Jane up off the ground, Vishous was wholly happy. Complete in a way that having all your fingers and toes couldn't hold a candle to. With a shout of triumph, he carried her into her condo, pausing only to put the garage door down.
"I thought I was going crazy," she said as he sat her on the counter. "I really did. "
Bonded male that he was, he was dying to get inside her, but he held off his baser urges. For chrissakes, he should give them time to talk a little.
Really.
Shit, he wanted her.
"I'm sorry¡ªshit, Jane, I'm sorry I had to erase all that, I really am. I can imagine it was disorienting as hell. Scary, too. "
Her hands went to his face as if she were still working on the whole V-is-real thing. "How did you get out of the marriages?"
"One of my brothers took my place. " V closed his eyes as her fingers went over his cheeks and nose, his chin, his temples.
"He did?"
"Phury, the one you took care of, is the one who did it. I don't know how I'm going to make it up to him. " All at once the bonded male in him muscled his frontal lobe to the ground, plowing over good manners and good sense. "Listen, Jane, I want you to live with me. I want you with me. "
Her smile glowed in her voice. "I'd probably drive you nuts. "
"Not possible. " His mouth parted as her fingertip went over his lower lip.
"Well, we can try it out. "
He looked at her. "Thing is, if you stayed with me, you'd have to give up this world. You'd have to give up your work. You'd have to. . . Yeah, it's an all-or-nothing kind of deal. "
"Oh. . . " She frowned. "I, ah, I'm not sure¡ª"
"I know. I really can't ask that of you, and truth is, I don't want you to stop your life. " And that was God's honest truth. In spite of the bonded-male thing. "So we'll figure it out day by day. I'll come to you, or we could buy another place, somewhere remote where we could spend days off. We'll make it work. " He looked around her kitchen. "I'm going to want to wire this place up, though. Make it safe. Monitor it. "
"Okay. " She shrugged out of her coat. "Do what you have to. "
Mm. . . Speaking of doing. His eyes went down her scrubs. And all he could see was her naked.
"V," she said in a low voice. "What are you looking at?"
"My female. "
She laughed softly. "You have something on your mind?"
"Maybe. "
"What could it be, I wonder?" The dewy scent of arousal came off her, triggering his need to mark sure as if she were naked and spread before him.
He took her hand and put it between his legs. "Guess. "
"Oh. . . yes. . . that again. "
"Always. "
In a smooth surge he bared his fangs with a hiss, bit through the collar of her scrubs, ripped the cloth right down the middle. Her bra was cotton and white and, bless its little frickin' heart, had a front clasp. He sprang it free, latched onto one of her nipples, and dragged her off the counter.
The trip upstairs to her bedroom was an interesting one, with a lot of pauses that resulted in her being naked by the time he laid her out on her mattress. It was the work of a moment to ditch his leathers and his shirt, and as he mounted her his mouth was open, his fangs fully extended.
She smiled up at him. "Thirsty?"
"Yes. "
With an elegant tilt of the chin she gave him access to her throat, and on a growl he penetrated her in two ways, between her thighs and at her neck. As he took her hard, she scored his back with her short nails and wrapped her legs around his hips.
It was a good two hours before the sex was over, and as he lay in the dark beside her, satiated and at peace, he counted the blessings he had. He had to laugh a little.
"What?" she asked.
"For all my seeing into the future, I never would have predicted this. "
"No?"
"This. . . this would have been too much to hope for. " He kissed her temple, closed his eyes, and allowed himself to start to slip into slumber.
But it was not to happen. A black shadow crossed over him on the way to repose, tripping his psychic wires, ushering in an intrusion of fear and panic. He told himself he had the heebs because when you narrowly missed the chance to be with the one you loved, it took a little while to chill out.
The explanation didn't stick. He knew it was something else. . . something
too terrifying to consider, a bomb in his mailbox.
He feared destiny wasn't finished with them yet.
"You okay?" Jane said. "You're trembling. "
"I'm fine. " He moved even closer to her. "As long as you're with me, I'm fine. "
