by Shana Burton
“Lawson, you said yourself that this man is unpredictable,” said Angel. “What’s to stop him from tracking Namon down and telling him himself? You don’t want your son to find out like that. Then not only will he be confused, but he’ll feel like he can’t trust you. Don’t leave it to chance.”
“He thinks of Garrett as his father,” claimed Lawson.
Garrett exhaled. “But I’m not, and he knows that. You don’t want Mark putting his spin on things before you’ve had a chance to explain this to Namon.”
“How do I even begin to do that? It was one thing when we didn’t know where Mark was, but I’ve known where he is for weeks now.”
“You can’t worry about that now, but you do have to tell him. If you want, I’ll speak to Namon myself, and I’ll be right by your side when you break the news to him. Either way, Lawson, he needs to know that his dad is looking for him, and it’s best if he hears that from you,” said Garrett.
“Lawson, what are you so afraid of?” asked Reginell. “What’s the worst that could happen? Yes, I’m sure it’ll be a shock to Namon, but it’ll also be a tremendous relief. They could actually end up having a great relationship. You don’t want to stand in the way of that, do you?”
Lawson plunked down on the sofa and began sobbing again. “What if . . . what if Namon decides he wants to live with Mark?” she cried. “Or worse—what if Mark snatches him up and takes off? I thought about doing it, and probably would’ve gone through with it if you hadn’t stopped me. What’s to keep Mark from thinking the same thing?”
Kina sat down beside her. “He won’t. From what you’ve told me about Mark, he seems to be a stand-up guy. I don’t think he’d intentionally hurt you or his son.”
Lawson shook her head. “You didn’t see him today. You didn’t see the look in his eyes. He was so angry that it scared me. People like that can’t be trusted.”
“Well, we know who can be trusted,” proclaimed Angel, “and we need to put this into His hands. God told us to cast our burdens onto Him, and He will take of care of it.”
“What will Namon think of me?” wondered Lawson. “I preach to him all the time about being responsible and thinking things through. How am I going to rationalize sleeping with a guy I barely knew? What kind of woman will he think I am?”
“He knows the kind of woman you are,” assured Sullivan. “You’re strong and you’re kind and you love him more than anything in this world. Nothing you tell him about Mark is going to change the way he feels about you.”
“I’m scared, y’all. I’m so afraid of losing my son and losing his respect. I have absolutely no control over the situation or what’s going to happen next.”
“You don’t have to be in control, because God is,” said Angel. “Trust Him, Lawson. Hasn’t He always taken care of you and Namon? Put it in God’s hands.”
“We’ve all got your back,” avowed Garrett. “Mark against us and God is like him fighting against an army with a handgun.”
“That may be true,” said Lawson, “but if Mark takes my son from me, all the support in the world won’t matter. Nothing will.”
“Jesus will work it out. Just pray,” urged Kina.
“I am, but there’s one thing we have to consider. What if God’s on Mark’s side with this? If He is, army or not, there ain’t a thing in this world I can do about it.”
Chapter 31
“To this day, I still don’t know what went wrong.”
—Angel King
As Theresa slept, Angel checked her vitals one last time before she got ready to leave. Satisfied with the results, she turned off the lights and tiptoed out of the bedroom. She bumped into Duke in the hallway.
“How is she?” he asked with concern.
“She’s sleeping, but she’s okay.”
“Are you leaving?”
“Well, it’s after five, so I should be heading out. Besides, you’re here now. I’m sure she prefers your bedside manner to mine.” Angel looked everywhere except at him. “I’ll see you around, Duke.”
“Angel, wait. If you have a minute, it would mean a lot to me if we could talk. Please . . . it’ll only take a minute.”
“Sure. Let’s just make it quick.” Angel followed him downstairs, tormented by her conflicting emotions. She had gone out of her way to avoid him; now, interacting with him was inescapable.
“Reese told me about what happened between the two of you,” he began. “I want you to know how much it means that you found it in your heart to forgive both of us.”
“I’m afraid your wife deserves more credit than I do. If it wasn’t for her making me face the Lord and my own sins, I probably wouldn’t be able to do this.”
“Despite what you may think of her, Reese really is a remarkable woman. She’s changed a lot since we met. You probably won’t meet a woman more devoted to the Lord or to her family than she is.”
It stung to hear Duke talk about his wife in such heartfelt terms. “I can see why you love Theresa. She makes it almost impossible to hate her.”
“That’s what makes her having this disease so unfair. Even in the midst of it all, she never gives up hope.”
“Well, if that’s all you wanted to talk about, I should get going.” Angel headed toward the door.
Duke followed her. “There’s one more thing. . . .”
Angel turned around. “What’s that?”
“I never apologized to you. You didn’t deserve to be treated that way. You were a wonderful wife, Angel. I was the one who messed up, not you. I hoped that you never blamed yourself for our marriage falling apart.”
“Duke, if all of this has taught me nothing else, I’ve learned that life is too short to waste time placing blame. Yes, mistakes were made, but I can’t spend my life holding that against you. I meant it when I said I forgave you. I really am at peace with it now.”
“You’re a good woman. Not many people could do what you’re doing for my family and me. I thank you from the bottom of my heart.”
“I’m just operating in my calling. Nursing is in my blood. My mom used to joke that I even tried to help the doctors out during my delivery.”
He laughed a little. “I remember. How is Mama Ruby, by the way?”
“She’s good. It’s kind of you to ask.”
“She was my mother-in-law, Angel. I’ll always care about her . . . and you.” Duke, looking at her the way he used to, made Angel feel things that she wasn’t supposed to feel. He was much easier to deal with when she had convinced herself that she hated him. Now, she didn’t know what to feel.
Duke seemed nervous. “Angel, I want to talk about the baby. Our baby, the one who died.”
Angel felt a wave of sorrow all over again. “I guess Theresa told you about that, huh?”
“She did, but why didn’t you?”
“I tried to. In fact, I was planning to surprise you with the positive pregnancy test for Christmas. But then—”
Duke closed his eyes. “Then I told you that Reese had just had my baby, and I walked out on you and our unborn child.”
Angel nodded. “If the baby had lived, I would’ve told you eventually. At the time, though, I was just so hurt and confused. Once I miscarried, there really didn’t seem to be a point in saying anything.”
“Angel, if I had known that you were pregnant too . . .”
“Would you have stuck around?”
He looked down. “I don’t know what I would’ve done.” He raised his eyes to look at her. “Then again, if I’d taken just one look at you, knowing that you were carrying our child, I don’t think I could have ever walked away.”
“Duke, can I ask you something? It’s been weighing on me all this time, and I don’t think I can truly have closure until I know the answer.”
“You can ask me anything you want.”
Angel exhaled. “What happened between us? I know that it’s a moot point now, but it’s always been an unanswered question in my mind. I thought we were happy. To this d
ay, I still don’t know what went wrong.”
He ushered her to the sofa, and they both sat down. “We were happy, Angel, but after a while, I started feeling trapped. Here I was, twenty-four years old, barely out of college, with a wife to support while she finished nursing school, bills to pay, a crappy apartment, and a job that I hated. My friends were still hanging out, having fun, being young. Then you started talking about having a baby, and it felt like I was living my parents’ life.” He lowered his head. “I couldn’t handle the pressure, so I took the easy way out.”
“Is that when you hooked up with Theresa?”
He nodded. “At first, being with her was just sort of an escape for me, you know, a way to forget about all of the stress waiting for me at home. That is, until she got pregnant. Her family was wealthy, though, and she pretty much told me that if I married her, I could go to grad school like I wanted and we could live here with her parents and not worry about money, plus have round-the-clock help with the baby. At the time, it seemed like the answer to my prayers. I see now how unbelievably selfish it was.”
“Why didn’t you tell me how you felt? I would’ve done more, even if I had to drop out of school and go to work. I certainly wouldn’t have been trying to have a baby.”
“I wouldn’t have wanted you to leave college during your senior year to appease me, and I was too much of a coward to tell you I didn’t think we were ready for a child.”
“With all these misgivings, why did you ask me to marry you at all?”
He swept her hair back and gazed into her eyes. “Because I was crazy about you. I loved you. I just wasn’t ready for marriage.”
“That didn’t stop you from marrying Theresa.”
“I was on the fence about that too. But once Miley was born, everything changed. I had a child now, and I knew that I had a responsibility to her and her mother. Don’t ever doubt that I loved you with everything in me that had the capacity to love. I was just stupid. There’s no other word for it.”
“You seem to have wised up now.”
“It was a long time coming. Thankfully, God looks out for babies and fools.”
“Which one were you?”
“At twenty-four, I probably was a baby. For leaving you, I probably was a fool.”
Angel felt her blood rushing to her face, and she had to remind herself to breathe. With Duke’s dreamy eyes staring back at her and him looking scrumptious in his tailored suit, Angel suddenly had a lot more compassion for Sullivan. “Well, it all worked out,” she summed up. “You got your family, I got my degrees and my career. . . .”
“What about love? Do you have that, Angel?”
“Sure. I love my job. I love my friends, my church, my spin classes. . . .”
Duke tilted up her chin. “I mean romance. Do you have a man in your life?”
She trivialized his question with a laugh. “Who has time for a love life?”
“You should make time for it. Life is too short to spend it alone, and you’re too good of a woman not to have the love of a good man.”
Angel blushed. “I’ll keep that in mind.” She stood up to leave.
“Be safe, and thank you for everything you’re doing for my wife and my family.” He pulled her into a hug. Angel didn’t know whether to back away or stay there forever.
“Daddy, look what I drew!” shrieked Morgan, running into the room, waving a sheet of paper.
Duke let go of Angel and kneeled down to face his little girl. “Let me see it.”
Morgan pointed everyone out to him, “That’s you, that’s Mommy, that’s Miley, that’s me, and that’s Miss Angel.”
“You’re quite the artist,” said Angel, looking over Duke’s shoulder at the drawing. “That’s a beautiful picture. I feel so special that you included me in it.”
“We have to find a frame for it and show it to Mommy,” said Duke.
Despite whatever Angel felt during the moment of weakness in Duke’s embrace, the picture reminded her very quickly about who he loved and where his priorities were.
“Well, good night, Duke,” bid Angel.
“Good-bye, Angel. Get home safe.”
Angel left, chiding herself for even going there with her emotions. Duke was married and, like it or not, she had to respect that. Nevertheless, she could still feel Duke’s arms around her the whole way home.
Chapter 32
“I’ve apologized to you for the last time.”
—Lawson Kerry
Autumn rolled on, and before Lawson knew it, it was October. The Sunday dinner plans that she had made to spend around the table with Reginell, Garrett, and Namon came to an abrupt halt when she found Mark on her doorstep.
“What are you doing here?” she demanded to know. “How do you even know where I live?”
“Lawson, ever since you told me I was Namon’s father two weeks ago, you have completely avoided me at work. You refuse to return my phone calls or my e-mails, and I’m sick of it. I’m not playing these games with you any longer.” Mark pushed his way into the house. “I want to see my son.”
“Are you crazy? You can’t just barge in here like this!” she screeched.
“Where is he, Lawson? Where’s Namon? I’m not leaving until I see him.”
Lawson pointed to the front door. “You’re leaving now, Mark. Don’t think I won’t call the police.” She darted toward the phone and picked it up.
Mark snatched it from her grip. “You’re going to call the police and tell them what?” he roared. “How you kept my son from me for fourteen years? How you robbed both of us of time we’ll never get back? That you got him thinking that some other man is his daddy?” He thrust the phone at her. “Yeah, Lawson, you call and tell them that!”
Lawson set down the phone. “I’ve apologized to you for the last time, and don’t you dare stand here and act like the victim in all of this!” She pointed to her chest. “I was the one raising our son by myself while you were living it up in Germany. I was the one helping him with his homework and sitting up with him all night when he was sick. How many football practices did you have to rush home from work to drive him to? How many times did you have to get down on your knees and pray that there would be enough money to pay the bills and still put food on the table? And I’m supposed to feel sorry for you? Please!”
Mark watched her in disbelief. “Unbelievable! You’re making this whole thing about you, Lawson! You wouldn’t have had to do all that by yourself if you’d told me that I had a son. You let him think that I had walked out on him, which is something I never would’ve done. Even after we met again at work, you still didn’t say one word about us having a child together. If I hadn’t found his picture, you would’ve let both of us go the rest of our lives without knowing the truth.”
“All right, maybe I should’ve handled things differently,” Lawson conceded, “but I had to do what I thought was best for my child.”
“I’m his parent, too, Lawson. You don’t get to make all the decisions.”
“I have for the last fourteen years, so what makes you think I’m about to stop now?”
“If I can’t stop you, I’m sure a judge can!”
“No judge is going to listen to some irresponsible, belligerent ex-jock who—”
“Whoa, what’s going on in here?” asked Garrett, rushing into the room with Namon at his side. “We could hear yelling way in the back.”
Lawson exhaled. “Garrett, this is Mark.”
Garrett froze and glanced over at Namon. “Is he here to see—”
“Yes,” answered Lawson.
Mark slowly walked over to Namon. He began to choke up upon laying eyes on his son for the first time. He could clearly see himself in his child, and had to suppress the urge to take him into his arms. “Namon, do you any have idea who I am?”
Namon moved to Lawson’s side. “No. Why are you yelling at my mom?”
“We were just talking, baby,” Lawson explained. “We had a difference of opinion and things
got kind of loud. I’m sorry.”
Mark reached out for Namon, but stopped himself from touching him. “How are you, son?”
“I’m fine. Mama, who is this, and what’s he doing here?”
“He’s a friend from work and wanted to know if we had an extra plate for dinner.” Mark admonished her with his eyes for lying. She mumbled, “This isn’t the time, Mark.”
Mark forced a smile. “So, Namon, I hear you like to play football.”
“I play a little bit,” he answered.
“Are you kidding me?” asked Lawson, putting her arms around Namon. “He’s the best player on his team.”
“I’m not half bad at it myself,” touted Mark. “If you ever want someone to throw the ball around with you, let me know.”
“My dad works with me,” said Namon.
It crushed Mark to hear Namon refer to Garrett that way. “I’m the head football coach at the high school. If you’re thinking about trying out for the team next year—”
“I’ll probably quit the team,” said Namon. “I want to be in band, and you can’t do both since the band plays at all the football games.”
“Well, if you change your mind and decide to play, you come up to the school and work out with some of the players. I could even give you a few pointers.”
Reginell emerged from the dining room. “I was wondering where everybody slipped off to.” She spotted Mark. “Hi, I’m Reggie.”
He shook her hand. “I’m Mark.”
She gulped. “Mark. Mark?” Sensing the potential for disaster, Reginell offered to drive Namon to Kina’s to play video games with Kenny.
Namon looked up at his mother. “Can I go?”
“Sure, sweetie. Just be home by nine.” Namon gave Lawson a peck on the cheek and left with his aunt.
“All right, now does somebody want to tell me what’s going on in here? What did we just walk in on?” asked Garrett.
Lawson threw up her hands in frustration. “He’s insisting on seeing Namon!”
Mark stepped forward. “He’s my son. I have every right to see him.”
