by Lisa Childs
She’d tried to convince them that Maisy had been premature. Since she was so tiny, they had believed her even though she’d actually been two weeks late. But then they’d probably wanted to believe her. They wouldn’t want Maisy to be another possible heir they would have to battle. They constantly bickered with each other—over their allowances from their grandfather and over the money they would eventually inherit from him.
That was another reason why Shawna had agreed to become Xavier’s private nurse. She wanted him to live forever, both because she loved the old man and to spite his spiteful family. They’d never treated Cole well either, especially after he’d been made the sole heir of his father’s estate.
Not that she cared about Cole anymore.
She loved Xavier, though. He had always been so good to her. All those times Cole had left her for boot camp and for those long deployments, they had bonded together over their concern for him. Even after Cole had broken up with her, she’d still been there for Xavier, offering him comfort and hope, while he worried about his favorite grandchild.
Shawna couldn’t entirely meet Cole’s blue-eyed gaze, but she could feel him staring at her. Goose bumps of awareness and fear rose on her skin. She shivered a little.
“She’s sweet,” he said. “Looks just like you did.”
“My mini-me,” she said. “That’s what Emery always called her.” Her voice cracked as she thought of her dear friend. More tears threatened despite the fact that she should have already been completely dried out. She blinked them back.
“I’m sorry for your loss,” he said.
It was a loss. But it wasn’t her first one. Not by far.
First she’d lost her parents. And then she had lost the love of her life: Cole. She would not feel sorry for herself, though, not when she had so many other blessings.
Like Maisy…
Emery was the one who had lost everything—his life.
“I don’t understand it,” she mused. “I don’t understand why anyone would want to harm Emery.”
“I read the police report,” Cole said. “The bomb wasn’t in his car. It was in yours. The bomb was meant for you.”
Shawna gasped, feeling as though she’d been punched. Of course it had been her car. She hadn’t been using it since she’d started working for Xavier. He always insisted that she use his car and driver. So when Emery’s vehicle hadn’t started that morning, she’d suggested he use hers. She’d urged him to take it and keep it.
The little SUV had just been sitting in the garage for weeks. She’d teased him about letting the newer vehicle sit while he continued to drive his clunker. But because theirs had never been a real marriage, Emery had always been hesitant about using anything of hers. He had been hesitant that morning, too.
If only she hadn’t pushed him. She should have had him use Xavier’s car and driver instead. But then she and Maisy might have gotten into hers.
She didn’t care about her own life. But Maisy was just a child. She had her entire life ahead of her.
The tears rushed over Shawna again, and she couldn’t fight them this time. Sobs racked her body, making her tremble. Then strong arms wound around her, drawing her against a hard, muscular body. And she began to tremble even harder as fear overwhelmed her.
Now she wasn’t just afraid for Maisy but she was also afraid for her heart. It was reacting to Cole’s closeness. It was pounding fast and furiously, and beneath her cheek, she could feel his heart pounding just as fast and furiously.
No. He could not be her bodyguard because no matter what promise he’d made their daughter, he would not be able to protect her.
Even if that bomb had been meant for her, like he’d claimed, he still posed the greater threat to her. She still reacted to him, just as she had when she’d loved him. And she could not fall for him again.
Loving him last time had nearly destroyed her. If she fell for him again, she was terrified she might not survive.
*
Xavier Bentler smiled as he softly slid the pocket door closed on the couple embracing inside the library. He didn’t want anyone to interrupt them. Not even their daughter. When Maisy had caught him standing in the hallway, he’d sent her off to the kitchen to get him some cookies. Fortunately Shawna hadn’t banned them from the house like she had his cigars.
He turned away from the door and slammed into what felt like a steel post. Cooper Payne steadied him with a strong hand on his shoulder.
“You’re playing a dangerous game,” the younger man warned him.
“What game?” Xavier asked, feigning innocence.
“My mother’s a wedding planner,” Cooper related. “I know a matchmaker when I see one.”
Xavier shrugged. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. My nurse is obviously in danger. She needs protection.” He had a bad feeling that she could be in danger because of him.
“And you could have hired any other security firm besides ours,” Cooper said. “You could have even hired one of my brother’s franchises of the Payne Protection Agency. But you chose mine. No.” He pointed toward the closed pocket doors. “You chose him.”
Unabashed, Xavier nodded in agreement. “Of course I did. He’s my grandson. I know he’s the best.”
And he also knew nobody would protect Shawna like Cole would. Xavier was pretty damn sure that was why the stubborn young fool had broken their engagement all those years ago. Cole had been trying to protect Shawna from the pain of losing him.
Damn fool. He’d just put her through that pain sooner.
His grandson’s boss studied him through narrowed blue eyes. The guy was shrewd. Xavier understood why he was friends with Cole.
“He’s good,” Cooper acknowledged. “All my guys—and my sister—are very good. They will do everything within their power to keep Shawna and her daughter safe.”
“Good,” Xavier said as he released a breath of relief. “That’s what I hired you to do.”
Cooper snorted. “We both know that’s not the only reason you hired us. You’re playing matchmaker. And that’s a dangerous game.”
“More dangerous than bombs?”
“When emotions are involved, things get messy,” Cooper warned. “People get distracted. Cole can’t afford to be distracted right now. You hiring him has put him in even more danger than she is—in even more danger than he was on our missions for the Marine Corps.”
Xavier tensed as fear replaced his earlier satisfaction. “How’s that?”
“Because Cole will give up his life for hers,” Cooper said.
“But you’re all here,” Xavier said. “You’ll all work together to keep her safe.”
“Her,” Cooper said. “But Cole’s going to be more worried about protecting her and that child than himself. He’s now in more danger than she is.”
Xavier hadn’t considered that. He’d known his grandson had defied odds before—in the Marines, even in his new role as bodyguard. But he hadn’t considered that the job he had hired him to do could be the one that would get him killed.
What the hell had he done?
Chapter 3
His heart beating frantically, Cole hadn’t been this afraid…since the last time he’d held Shawna Rolfe in his arms. But she wasn’t Shawna Rolfe anymore. She was Shawna Little. She was another man’s wife.
But having her in his arms again felt so right, felt so natural. She fit just as perfectly as she always had even though she was so petite and he was tall. She was delicate, and he was tough. Actually they had never really fit at all.
He should have never proposed to her in the first place, not when he’d been leaving for the Marines. He’d been young and arrogant then and so convinced that he was invincible. After his father’s death, he should have known no one was, if his incredibly strong, independent father was not.
But it had taken a few deployments for him to understand how tentative his life was. And he hadn’t wanted to put her through yet another loss. Her parents’ deaths had
nearly destroyed her.
But losing him hadn’t affected her at all. She’d moved on quickly. And really, he had tried to be happy that she’d had. That she had a husband with a good, safe job. Emery Little shouldn’t have died.
So Cole offered his condolences again with all sincerity. “I’m sorry.”
Shawna pulled back, tugging free of his arms. “Why?” she asked.
“Your husband died.”
Her usually pale skin flushed. “I know. But why are you sorry about that?”
“I didn’t want him dead,” Cole said. “Hell, that was the last thing I wanted.”
She flinched.
“Because I wanted you to be happy,” he explained.
“Why?” she asked the question again, her brow furrowing with confusion. “When you broke up with me…”
He’d had to say terrible things to get her to accept that they were over, that she had no reason to wait for him. Obviously he’d gotten through to her far too well.
“We were not meant to be together,” he said. Then or now. His life as a bodyguard was no less dangerous than his life had been as a Marine. “But that didn’t mean I didn’t want you to be happy.”
He would have preferred that she had waited a little longer though before she’d married someone else and started a family with him. But then he was a hypocrite because the whole reason he’d broken up with her was so she wouldn’t mourn him. Mission accomplished.
She shook her head in denial. Obviously she didn’t believe him. He wasn’t going to argue with her-not while she was in mourning.
“Why are you here, Cole?” she asked.
“My grandfather hired the Payne Protection Agency to protect you.”
“Why are you here?” she asked.
“My boss assigned me to this job.”
She chuckled bitterly. “And what—he would fire you if you refused the assignment?”
“Maybe.” But he doubted it. Cooper probably would have understood if Cole had told the truth, that he was not over her, that he would never be completely over her. But Cole had lied, had claimed that he had no reason to be jealous of her and her dead husband. Why the hell had he lied?
“And what if he had fired you?” she challenged him. “You could start your own damn security firm. Or you could never work another day in your life like the rest of your family.”
While they were all employed at his grandfather’s billion-dollar business, it was a joke. None of them actually did any real work.
And that was why Cole worked. He didn’t want to be like the rest of his family. She knew that because she’d once known him better than anyone else ever had. Or so he’d thought.
Maybe she’d married another man because she had known how much it would hurt him. And she’d wanted to hurt him like he had hurt her.
“My family is the Payne Protection Agency,” he said. “I served with them.” On the battlefield and on the bodyguard frontlines. He wasn’t talking just about his former unit but about Nikki and the rest of the Payne family who’d embraced him and his friends like their own.
“So that’s why you didn’t say no?” she asked. “Because you couldn’t let them down?”
He heard the bitterness and resentment in her voice. Did she still hate him for breaking up with her? Even after all these years, even after she’d found happiness with another man? Of course that happiness was over now.
Emery Little was dead.
And Cole needed to find out why. Had the killer really intended Shawna as the target? If so, she was in serious danger. “You need a bodyguard,” he pointed out. “Even your daughter is worried about you.”
“I’m okay with having a bodyguard,” she said. “To make Maisy feel more secure. But I don’t want that bodyguard to be you.”
“Why not?” he asked.
“You know why,” she said.
But he shook his head. “You got married. You had a kid. You moved on.”
“But I never got over…”
His heart flipped in his chest. Had she never gotten over him—just as he had never really gotten over her?
“…what you said,” she finished. “When you broke up with me, you told me that you couldn’t play hero anymore to my damsel in distress. That there were people in real danger who needed you.”
He barely remembered what he’d told her then. He’d just needed to make her mad enough to agree to the breakup. Again, mission accomplished.
“You told me that I had to grow up and finally learn to take care of myself for once.” Her face was flushed now and her eyes were bright with anger.
Cole’s own temper flared now. “And instead of listening to me, you married some other guy within weeks of our breakup, so that he could take care of you!”
“You son of a bitch!” she cursed him.
He’d been called that before—by his own father. Coleman hadn’t been insulting him, though. He’d been insulting his wife. Cole’s parents had hated each other that much. That was another reason Cole never should have proposed to Shawna. He had no idea how to have a successful marriage. His parents’ had been a disaster. And none of his grandfather’s three marriages had lasted. His uncles had certainly not set good examples for him either.
He didn’t argue with Shawna’s assessment of him. He couldn’t.
She turned and ran toward the doors—that at some point somebody must have closed. She fumbled with them before cursing again and sliding them open just wide enough for her to slip out into the hall.
Cole shouldn’t have said what he had—six years ago or now.
Especially not now.
She had just lost her husband in what had probably been an attempt on her life. Her life was in danger. Remembering that no matter what she said he was supposed to be protecting her, he rushed toward the doors. He pushed them open the rest of the way and stumbled out into the hall.
But she was gone.
Where had she gone?
*
Shawna dragged in a deep breath as she stepped outside. The sweet, acrid scent of cigars filled her lungs, making her cough and sputter. She found the butt of a cigar, the tip still glowing, lying beside the steps leading out the back door of the garage.
So this was where Xavier came to smoke. Of course if she confronted him, the old codger would probably blame the chauffeur. And Astin, being as loyal as he was, would willingly cover for him.
Xavier charmed everyone—even her—into doing what he wanted. That was why Cole was here. It wasn’t because he cared about her; he’d made his opinion of her abundantly clear six years ago and again just now in the library.
She wasn’t the helpless female he had accused her of being, though. She hadn’t married Emery to protect her. She’d married Emery to protect Maisy. She hadn’t wanted anyone to know her child was a Bentler, hadn’t wanted to subject a baby to the resentment and anger Cole had endured.
And because she wanted to protect Maisy, Shawna would agree to have a bodyguard. Anyone but Cole, though. Her superhero when they were kids. And as a Marine, decorated for his heroism, he had also been a superhero. Why had he changed with her?
Why had he become as cruel as the people from whom he’d once protected her when they were kids? What had she done to him?
Sure, she’d married Emery, but that had been only after he’d broken their engagement and her heart. She never would have stopped loving him, if he hadn’t stopped loving her first.
He still affected her. Even after all these years—even after how much he’d hurt her, he still affected her physically. Emotionally. Passionately.
She wanted to feel nothing. She wanted to be numb—like she had been when she’d gone into shock after the explosion, after she’d realized what had happened to Emery.
Poor Emery.
She blinked back tears. She needed to get back inside, back to mourning her husband and best friend. But she didn’t want to see Cole again. She doubted he had left despite being told she didn’t want him as her bodyguard
. But it wouldn’t matter even if he had left. She would still see him—as she saw him all the time—in her mind.
Sometimes he was the boy who’d rescued her and protected her. Sometimes he was the man who’d taught her about love and passion. And sometimes he was the monster who’d broken her heart.
She tensed as she thought of him, but it wasn’t with just anger. She realized that in her haste to get away from him she had stepped outside alone. If she was in real danger, that wasn’t the smartest idea.
And while she would rather not believe that bomb had been meant for her, it had been in her car. Not Emery’s…
She shivered now as a cold chill raised goose bumps along her skin. Her black dress had long sleeves, but it was lightweight material. She needed a sweater. Hell, she needed to be back inside—with people.
With Maisy…
Pushing open the service door, she stepped back into the garage. The lights that had been on moments ago were off. Had she accidentally flipped them off as she’d walked out? But when she touched the switches, she found them facing up already. Turning them the other way didn’t do anything.
Had the power gone out?
There was no storm raging outside. That was only inside her—in her head and in her heart—from having to deal with Cole and her grief. She couldn’t even hear the wind blowing outside. But she could hear something else…
The garage had several stalls, and Xavier had a car in each. It sounded as if the engines of several of them were running now. Why?
Distracted, she stumbled against the rear bumper of one of the vehicles and struck her knee. Pain radiated up her leg, and a cry slipped through her lips. It was so dark without the lights.
She could barely remember which direction led to the house. The garage was attached to the French provincial mansion. That was why she’d rushed into it—because it had been close. She probably should have gone outside instead, like onto the expansive back patio or the wide front porch or the balcony on the second story.
