by Lisa Childs
“He knew,” she said.
Cole’s blue eyes narrowed, and he focused intensely on her face. That muscle twitched again along his tightly clenched jaw.
A lump of emotion rose up in her sore throat, threatening to choke her more than that noose nearly had. But she swallowed it down and spoke clearly and succinctly. “Emery knew that I was pregnant when he married me,” she said. “That’s why he proposed.”
“Did he know…?” Cole trailed off. “Is she…?”
He obviously couldn’t bring himself to ask the question burning in his eyes. But she answered it anyway. “Yes, he knew the baby was yours.”
Cole expelled a breath, like he’d been holding it and she’d sucker-punched him. And maybe she had. But she could see that he’d already begun to suspect the truth. Maisy would have her father.
If he wanted her…
Did he want her?
He looked too shocked for Shawna to determine what he was thinking. Or feeling. If anything at all, except confusion. “Why would he propose when he knew the baby was mine?”
Did Cole not believe her? Did he think she was lying about Maisy’s paternity? “Because he was a good friend,” Shawna said.
“He loved you.”
He had. But just as a friend. She could have told him that, too. But she wasn’t certain, after the things he’d said to her, that she wanted him to know she’d had only a platonic marriage. No passion. No sex. Only friendship. “He loved Maisy, too,” she said. “He was a good father to her.”
“To my daughter?”
Was he claiming the little girl or again just questioning Shawna’s veracity? “Emery was a good man,” she said. He hadn’t deserved what happened to him. He’d been so happy, so hopeful, for the first time since he’d asked her to marry him. “He didn’t want me to raise my daughter alone.”
But she would have, since the alternative had been telling Cole the truth. She had been insistent that she wouldn’t do that, even though Emery had encouraged her to come clean with him. He’d thought it might have made a difference, might have had Cole coming back to her. But she hadn’t wanted him coming back because of the baby; she’d wanted him to come back because he loved her.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked.
“I didn’t realize that I was pregnant until after you had already broken up with me,” she said. And it had taken her a while to realize that she hadn’t just been heartsick; she’d been morning sick, which unfortunately had pretty much lasted all day long.
“So you were angry?” he asked. “Vengeful?”
“Of course I was angry,” she said. He had shattered her heart into a million irreparable pieces. She hadn’t been spiteful, though. She’d been too broken for spite. “But that isn’t why I didn’t tell you.”
She hadn’t wanted him to hate her any more than he’d already seemed to when he had coldly ended their engagement. But she realized now that she had probably only delayed the inevitable because he was definitely looking at her as if he hated her now.
“Why not then?” he asked.
She wanted to explain that she’d thought she was doing what was best for everyone. But before she could say anything more, he jumped up from the bed.
He shook his head and expelled a shaky breath. “Never mind,” he said. “I don’t need to know.”
What? Before Shawna could ask, he headed toward the door, opened it and stepped out into the hall.
Did it make no difference to him that Maisy was his? Did he not want their little girl?
That was another reason she hadn’t told him the truth six years ago. She hadn’t wanted him to reject their baby like he had rejected her. She had wanted her baby only to know love—not resentment or anger.
For a while it had worked—until that car had exploded. Now Maisy knew tragedy and loss and pain and fear. And Shawna knew failure, as a mother. She hadn’t been able to protect her child from pain.
Would Cole? Or did he want nothing to do with her?
*
For the first time since his heart attack a few months ago, Xavier Bentler felt old. His bones ached with age and probably arthritis while his mind ached with frustration. He’d messed up. He shoved the cigar back into the glass of scotch he’d abandoned on his desk.
He’d screwed up badly.
And as usual, Cooper Payne had no compunction against pointing that out to him. He really would like to meet the woman who’d raised such a man. But hell, she would be too young for him. Now, maybe if Payne had a grandmother alive…
No. Xavier had long since given up on having a happy ending of his own. He’d lost out on that opportunity decades ago. But he’d wanted his grandson to have the chance to have a true and lasting love. There had been too damn little of that in the Bentler family.
“You really want to remove Cole from this assignment?” he asked Payne.
He nodded. “I think it’s the only way to keep him safe.”
“What about Shawna?” Xavier asked. After three attempts on her life, it was indisputable that she was the one in danger. But if Cooper was right, she wasn’t the only one.
“The rest of my team will keep her safe,” Payne assured him.
“What about Cole?” Xavier asked with concern for his stubborn grandson. But that fierce obstinacy and independence was why Cole was his favorite. “Won’t he be furious?”
Cole might not have wanted to come home, but now that he’d arrived, he seemed intent on protecting Shawna. Xavier couldn’t imagine that he would take kindly to be removed from the assignment.
The door to his den flew open, and he had his answer. Cole was clearly furious. So much so he barely noticed that Payne had automatically drawn his weapon on him.
Cooper must have seen the fury, too, because he didn’t immediately reholster the gun. “What’s wrong?” he asked. “Has something happened? Has there been another attempt?”
Cole didn’t even look at his boss. He just shook his head.
“If you’re pissed because I put Manny on her protection duty—”
Cole held up his hand, palm out, toward Payne. “I’m not pissed at you,” he said.
“He’s mad at me,” Xavier said. And he knew why. Because he knew…
Payne glanced back and forth between them, as if trying to figure out what the old man had done now. Xavier knew it was because he’d done nothing. He’d said nothing.
“How could you?” Cole demanded.
Xavier shrugged. “Depends on what we’re talking about.”
“You manipulative old bastard!” Cole said, his blue eyes hard with fury.
Xavier couldn’t deny it. He’d done his share of manipulating his family over the years. But he’d refrained from messing with Cole. Until now. That was why he’d waited so long to step in. But the heart attack had given him no choice. He’d had to act soon. His patience and his life were running out.
Once Cole learned what else he’d done, he would be even more furious with him. And with damn good reason.
Chapter 11
Cole barely noted the closing of the door as Cooper left the den. His friend was astute—so astute that he must have realized Cole’s argument with his grandfather was personal. This wasn’t about the assignment. It wasn’t about protecting Shawna at all. Or was it?
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Cole asked.
“You had already left for that last deployment when she found out she was pregnant,” his grandfather replied. “What was she supposed to do—send you a card with a picture of a stork on it? And a little note saying you’re going to be a daddy? But she couldn’t do that because nobody knew where the hell you were.”
Half the time, neither had Cole. “Nobody could know.”
His grandfather nodded. A veteran himself, Xavier had to understand. But even if he had, he still had betrayed Cole.
“I came back from that mission, though,” Cole said. He’d been surprised that he had, that they had all survived. But then he’d been even more su
rprised when he’d learned Shawna had married another man. “You could have told me then.”
“You weren’t back long before you left for another,” Xavier reminded him. “And another.”
Each mission had been more dangerous than the last. But they’d survived them. Cole wasn’t certain he could survive this, though. His heart was beating so hard, pounding away in his chest, that he felt battered from the inside out. “I lost five years of her life.”
“Nearly six,” Xavier said. “Her birthday is just a few weeks away.”
So she acted older because she was older. Shawna had misled him about her age. And his grandfather had misled him about everything. Those betrayals struck him harder than any blow could have. He had never felt as devastated as he felt right now.
His legs began to shake, threatening to fold beneath him, so he dropped onto the chair Cooper had vacated moments ago. He was glad that he’d insisted his friends come home with him. Not that he’d ever really considered this place home. All the more reason he needed his friends. He needed people he could trust. This assignment was far more dangerous than he’d even realized.
“I can’t believe you kept this from me all these years.”
Xavier shrugged, as if trying to shake off the guilt he should be feeling. But Cole wasn’t certain that he was. “She never told me for certain.”
“But you knew,” Cole called him on it before he could utter a lie.
His grandfather had always been an honest man—if not always a very open one. “Of course I knew. She has your eyes.” He lifted his hand to his face. “My eyes. Your father’s. You should have known the moment you saw her.”
“She’s a Bentler,” Cole said. “So why wouldn’t you claim her?”
“She’s a Bentler,” Grandfather said with a heavy sigh. “Maybe it’s safer for her not to be.”
He knew what Cole had already realized. Whoever was after Shawna was a member of their family. And if that person—that monster—realized that Maisy was a member of their family…
He shuddered at the thought of the little girl being in danger. “You’re right. Nobody can know the truth.”
He wasn’t entirely sure he should have learned it because he had no idea what to do with the knowledge now. Did he act like a father to Maisy? But then everyone would know the truth. It wasn’t safe for her to be a Bentler. Hell, it wasn’t safe for her to be a Little right now either.
“Why did he do it?” Cole asked.
“What? Who?” his grandfather looked up at him, and it was apparent that he was tired. And old. Where had the manipulative bastard gone? The brilliant businessman who’d built a billion-dollar enterprise?
“Emery Little,” Cole said. “Why did he claim Maisy as his?”
Xavier shrugged. “Why does any man do what he does?”
For love. He must have loved Shawna a lot, just like Cole had. He had loved her so much that he’d been willing to do what he’d thought was right to protect her. Cole uttered a ragged sigh.
“So I hope you’ll understand that’s why I changed my will,” Xavier said.
“What?” Cole grimaced as he had a horrible premonition. “No.” He’d already suffered the consequences of the last time a Bentler had changed his will. Sure, he was richer than he’d ever imagined he would be, but he was also more reviled.
His grandfather reached his hands across his desk, as if imploring him to understand. “Cole…”
But Cole just shook his head as the horror crept in. “You didn’t.”
“You and Shawna belong together,” Grandfather said. “You have loved her since you were kids.”
Cole shook his head. “That was puppy love,” he said. “It wasn’t real.” Or she wouldn’t have married Emery Little so soon after he broke their engagement. “We both outgrew it.”
“Your father never outgrew his first crush,” Xavier said.
Cole snorted. “What? You trying to tell me he loved my mother?”
“No,” Xavier said. “And Natalie Montoya is why he couldn’t.”
Cole had never heard the name before. “Who was that?”
“His high school girlfriend,” Xavier said.
“What happened?” Cole asked, curious despite all the turmoil going on inside him. “Did she marry another man?” A man like Emery Little?
Xavier uttered a very weary-sounding sigh and reached for his glass of scotch with a slightly trembling hand. “She died.”
Cole gasped, thinking of how close he had come to losing Shawna. If she hadn’t broken that car window and driven the vehicle through the carbon monoxide–filled garage… If he hadn’t cut that noose from around her throat…
“That’s terrible,” he said. “Is that why Dad never mentioned her?”
Xavier leaned back in his chair, and his shoulders slumped. “Probably. Because what’s worse than her dying is that your father caused her death.”
Cole tensed. “What? What happened?”
“He was driving too fast.” Grandfather sighed again, and it was the sigh of a broken man. “He was always driving too fast.”
Cole had never considered his father to be the daredevil his grandfather did. He’d always just figured the guy was in a hurry—to make money, to be even more successful than his father. He hadn’t driven fast just to drive fast but because he was driven.
“He lost control and hit a tree,” Xavier said. “He walked away without a scratch. Physically. But he never got over her, just like you will never get over Shawna.”
Cole shook his head. “It’s not the same at all. And what you’re describing with my father sounds more like guilt than love.”
“You never felt guilty?” Xavier asked him. “You broke her heart when you broke your engagement with her. That never bothered you?”
Cole had felt guilty for things he’d said, for the way he’d hurt her. And if Shawna had died like his father’s girlfriend had, he would have been broken, too. Broken beyond repair. “I did feel bad,” he admitted wearily. “Until I found out she married Emery Little.”
“You asked why he did it,” Xavier said. “You didn’t ask why she married him.”
Cole furrowed his brow, trying to figure out what his grandfather was up to now. Although he already knew his end game in all of this was getting Cole back together with Shawna. And that could not happen for so many reasons.
“I don’t care,” Cole lied. “I don’t care why she married him. The only thing I care about is keeping her safe until we figure out who the hell killed Little and keeps trying to kill her.”
“Not we,” said another voice.
Cooper had slipped back into the den without Cole even noticing. It probably didn’t look good for the boss to see that his bodyguard skills had slipped so much. But he was preoccupied. And tired.
And shocked.
And a father…
“What do you mean, not we?” Cole asked. But he had a horrible feeling that he knew exactly what it meant and it wasn’t that Cooper was quitting the job. No matter how terrible their client, the Payne Protection Agency kept their promise to protect them.
“You’re off this assignment,” Cooper said, confirming Cole’s suspicion. “I’m sending you back to River City.”
“Hell no.” That wasn’t possible. While he had no intention of falling for Shawna again, he had every intention of keeping her alive. And Maisy.
He wasn’t certain how to be a father. But he knew he’d have to try. For her.
*
As an ER nurse, Shawna had seen more people experiencing panic attacks than heart attacks, so she recognized her symptoms. The palpitations, the sweats, the short breaths.
She needed air. But as soon as she reached for the window, the door opened. She expected Cole to step back inside, so her heart raced even more. But it was Manny.
He looked all judgmental again. He must have heard. Or maybe Cole had talked to him, had told him about her latest betrayal. Or her six-year-long betrayal…
And she ha
d no idea what to do about it. How to fix it. How to make Cole stop hating her. Because she knew that he did. She’d seen it on his face. The pain of him looking at her that way had her heart pounding and her lungs aching for air.
“I need to go outside,” she said. “I need air.” And whatever blew through the window would not be enough.
Manny shook his head. “It’s too dangerous.”
Tears began to sting her eyes. “I need air,” she said, her voice cracking with the panic overwhelming her. “Or I’m going to lose it. I need to go outside and clear my head.”
“I don’t think it’s your head you want to clear,” he remarked.
She groaned. Sure, she wanted to clear her conscience. But she wasn’t about to admit that to him. There was nothing she could do about that anyway. She couldn’t give Maisy and Cole back the nearly six years she’d stolen from them. If only she could.
Manny murmured a curse, then acquiesced, “Okay. But I’m sticking close to you. And letting Dane know, so he’s close, too.”
She nodded. But she doubted the air would help with Cole’s friends standing around her, judging her. And once they had gone down the back stairwell, through the kitchen, to the outside, she told him so. “Please.”
“How many near-death experiences do you have to have before you realize you’re in danger?” Manny asked.
Tears stung her eyes again, but she blinked them back. She was definitely going to shed them, but she wanted privacy for that. She wasn’t going to look like a damsel in distress when she could help it. The noose around her neck—she hadn’t been able to help that.
But crying, that she could control. But not for much longer.
“I know I’m in danger,” Shawna said. “That’s why I need to get some air.”
Manny’s dark eyes narrowed in skepticism. “I don’t think that’s your reason.”
She wanted to curse at him. She wanted to release all her frustration and anger and vent it on Manny. But he was protecting her, and she owed him her gratitude.
“Please,” she murmured again. “I will stay where you can see me. I just need to walk a little farther away from this house.” She gestured toward the flower arbor just beyond the patio. The lights from the mansion illuminated the cobbled brick patio. But the arbor was beyond that, just within the shadows, to give her the privacy she needed to let her tears go. They were burning the back of her throat and her eyes.
