by Lexi Scott
He raises one eyebrow, holds out his hand for the bottle, and takes a long swill. “Glasses? We’re barbarians tonight, Maren! Embrace it.”
I sit up and wrap the blanket around me, holding one side open so he can snuggle close. We pass the bottle back and forth, taking long sips of the spicy wine while we watch the fire flicker.
“I could get used to this,” I say, pressing my nose to his chest and breathing deep that simple smell that’s all him.
“Um, yeah, you better.” He kisses the top of my head. “I tried the whole ‘let her go if you love her’ thing and almost gave myself a heart attack. I want you right here with me.”
I knit my fingers with his. “I want you.” I curl against him.
“Easiest request ever, doll. You have me, no matter what. You could go wherever, do whatever, and I’d be here for you when you got back. Always.” I hear the steady thrum of his heart under the words. He means it. And I love him for saying it.
But…
“You don’t think we should, you know, not tempt fate? See if we make it living close by each other before we take a stab at long distance?” I’m trying to sound cool and collected, even if my body is stiff with nervous terror.
I can’t lose him this soon after I got him.
“This thing we have? It didn’t happen by chance, Maren. It wasn’t some sort of voodoo or stupid good luck charm hanging in my living room. We go deeper than that.” When he reassures me, his voice is steady and strong, and it works to instantly calm me.
“Deeper?” I turn in his arms.
“Right into the scary-as-hell depths, babe. You and me, we were both doing our thing in the shallows for way too long. That’s not where we belong. We’re brave. We’re adventurers. And every adventure we have from here on out is gonna be more amazing because we’ll be together. Even if we’re thousands of miles apart. That’s how deep we go.”
I blink sleepily, staring into the licking flames of the fire. When I yawn, Cohen grabs a throw pillow from the couch, but I push it away and opt to lie on the cushion of his arm instead, pillowed against his strong warmth.
“I’m madly in love with you, Cohen. To the depths of my soul,” I whisper, sleep making my eyelids heavier by the second.
“You’re so freaking adorable when you’re overtired,” Cohen whispers. “I love you to the depths and beyond that. Sleep, mi corazon.”
My eyes fall closed, and I sink into sleep, cradled in the arms of the man I know I’ll love with my all, for our forever, to the deepest depths and beyond.
Epilogue
“Do you think she’ll show?” I ask, holding the narrow end of my fiancé’s tie and sliding the knot up, loving the way the ring he put on my finger seems to shimmer. The ring is beyond amazing, but I would have loved it just as much if he got it for a quarter from a bubblegum machine. As long as it came from Cohen, and as long as it meant that someday we’d be husband and wife, I would have been happy with tin and plastic.
Cohen scoffs. “Of course she’ll show. Deo would stalk Whit to the ends of the earth if she left him standing at the altar.”
“I know that. I meant your sister, Genevieve.” I roll my eyes, center the knot, and pat it. “There. Are we all set now?”
“Unless you want to untie this thing and let me tie you up instead.” Cohen raises a single sexy, dark eyebrow at me like he’s not kidding in the least.
“We’re not going to be late to your best friend’s wedding!”
“Fine. Later, then.” Cohen grins as he sweeps his keys off the counter and shoves his wallet into his back pocket. “And yeah, I think Gen will show.”
“I don’t know. She seemed awfully…non-receptive at the rehearsal dinner.” I slide my feet into my gorgeous silver peep toes, so high I may break my neck, but so sexy that I’m completely willing to take the risk.
Cohen’s eyes travel up and down my body with such obvious need. I know he appreciates my efforts. He gives me a low wolf-whistle before he answers, “Girl’s got a bad attitude, what can I say?”
“Looks more like a broken heart to me.” I feel sad saying it, because, under all the drama, Gen is such a warm, loving person. And even though I love Deo like the brother I never had, I can understand how falling for him would result in the kind of lovesickness that could make a girl go a little unhinged.
But Cohen laughs it off like the unobservant man he is. “Gen? Nah. It’s just a crush. It’ll be fine. Besides, Marigold already did some Rose and Water Love Spell and promises this day is going to go off without a hitch.”
“Must be so then,” I say, swatting at his very fine ass as he holds the door open for me.
He grabs me by the waist as I pass, and tugs me into him. “Don’t start something you can’t finish, woman,” he growls into my ear.
This chemistry…this magic….this love… It’s been six months, and it hasn’t gotten old. Cohen works long hours at the accounting firm, and I sometimes feel like I need to hoard the moments we have together, especially on the weekends when I stay here.
It’s not like I don’t love school. I’m acing my classes, and the dorms are actually amazing. I wound up on a floor with so many smart, funny people who are becoming real friends.
My dad and I write letters back and forth. He’s not doing as well as we hoped, but he opted to extend the program instead of signing himself out after the mandatory time he agreed to, so I try not to be pessimistic about what will happen when he finally finishes and joins the real world again.
Mom and Rowan came out to visit me a few times. They even provided the refreshments for my dorm’s Spring Fling, where they also got to meet Cohen, all suited up and so gorgeous, even my sister drooled a little. It’s way more awkward than I’d like, but it’s baby steps. And I can do that.
But as full as every other aspect of my life is, my heart bucks and strains in my chest, waiting for the weekends when I go home. To the house Cohen and I are making ours.
It didn’t stop with the teal rug. He converted the spare room into an office for the two of us to use, and we spent hours arguing over paint chips and flooring. I bought new decorations for the kitchen, all beachy and gorgeous. And he surprised me by doing the extra bathroom in Angels red. He kind of spoiled that one with Angels toilet paper, telling me the only way he could stand having an Angels fan in his house was if he could wipe his ass with them, but I still love the overall gesture. And him, despite his crappy taste in sporting teams.
“You all ready, mi corazon? Wanna lock up while I get the gift loaded?” he asks, kissing my neck.
“Sure.” I take my key out of my clutch while I watch him wrestle with the enormous Hine Moana statue he found when he and Deo took that trip to New Zealand. She’s the Maori goddess of the ocean, and Cohen used his crazy connections to get her shipped over for Deo and Whit’s wedding gift.
“Got her in!” he finally crows after struggling with the wooden statue for twenty minutes. He points to the excessive knot of bungee cords and rope he used to get the trunk closed with a confidence I hope is grounded in reality.
“They’ll love her,” I say, not pulling away when Cohen tugs me closer and kisses me, first sweetly, then with a need that makes my muscles loose and my blood burn.
“I love you,” he whispers, his lips pressed to my ear.
“I love you,” I answer. “Cohen, we need to go, or we’ll be late.” I’m begging him a little, because I know how easy it would be for me to just give in and never leave his arms.
But as tempting as that is, we both love Deo and Whit too much to mess with their day, so he lets me go after a few more kisses, and we drive to the site.
The wedding and reception are being set up outside Deo’s mother’s herbal shop, right on the ocean. There are baskets and bunches and piles of flowers everywhere, brought from all over the West Coast by Marigold’s amazing friends, who all seem to have organic green thumbs. The air smells gently sweet and salty clean. Lanterns swish in the breeze, ready to be lit when the
sun sets and we all dance the night away on the dance floor brought in especially for this day. A traditionally decorated, white tiered cake is on a large table, and I grin, knowing it’s likely laced with a little something extra. Deo loves a good rum cake. A band of scruffy, friendly hippies in flowy clothes sets up their instruments as Marigold rushes over to us.
“You’re here!” She grabs my face, then Cohen’s, pressing kisses on our foreheads. Marigold gives me an apologetic look. “I hate to steal him away, but Deo is having a nervous breakdown.”
Cohen’s dark eyes pop in surprise. “Deo? Deo is nervous?”
He shoots me a look laced with pure panic, and I grab his face in my hands. “Go to him! Of course. You give the most amazing pep talks. You can do this.”
Marigold and I watch him run to the house, and she puts an arm around my shoulders and kisses my temple. “You two were made for each other, you know that? I’m so thankful he found you.”
My heart is fluttering when she lets me go to chase the caterer down, and I’m left alone among a wonderful, loving chaos. I wave at a few familiar friends and Rodriguez family members, but I never see Gen. I wander to the bar and order a chilled white wine, when I hear a muffled sob.
Behind a low citrus tree, I catch sight of silky black hair and a tight black dress.
“Gen?” I walk through the roots and leaves carefully, and see Cohen’s sister wiping tears from her cheeks.
“Maren. God. So embarrassing.” She laughs wetly and lets out a rough sigh. “I’m such an ass. Please, ignore me.”
I hand her my wine glass. “Drink, sweetie. You’re not an ass. Not at all. And you look amazing.”
She tries to smile, but it’s weak. “Thank you.” She gulps the wine down in two sips. “I’m not crying because Deo is marrying Whit,” she says, her voice cracking over the words. “I’m crying because…because does it ever feel like you’re just messing up every day for years on end? Like, you’re the world’s biggest loser, and maybe it’s not a stage? Maybe it’s who you are?”
I swallow hard against the lump in my throat. “Genevieve, you have no clue how completely I understand that. But I promise you, you are not, and this is just a stage, and one day, you’re going to be so damn happy, and you’ll look back and wonder how you ever could have thought you wouldn’t be. Because happiness will be part of who you are.”
This time her smile is a tiny bit more real. “Thank you. I’m really happy you’re with Cohen.” Her phone buzzes, and she slides it out and looks at it. Her expression goes from tearful to ear-to-ear grin in half a second.
Whoa. I know that expression.
“Who is he?” I ask.
Gen looks up, flustered, shaking her head and laughing. “Oh, it’s just Adam. He’s a good friend from college. And my tutor. He texted me the stupidest science joke… We’re such nerds.” She rolls her eyes.
She’s trying to brush it off, but she’s glowing.
“You know, your brother and I fell in love texting. Be careful. Those emojis can be a dangerous aphrodisiac.” I wink at her, and she full-on laughs.
“Trust me, it’s just friendship. Adam thinks emojis are going to lead to the downfall of our civilization’s communication.” She pulls her phone out and caresses the screen with her thumb.
“You should call him,” I suggest, suddenly inspired to nudge this along. Gen may be convinced this is just innocent texting, but I’m willing to bet that phone will be on fire with hardcore sexting if she can admit how into him she is.
“Call him?” She raises her eyebrows high.
“You’ve been a little down lately. I haven’t seen you smile like that in weeks. If he brings that out in you, don’t take it for granted.”
She gnaws on her bottom lip. “Yeah?”
I nod. “Trust someone who took way too long to see the amazing person right in front of her face.”
Gen tilts her head, considering, and then her eyes dance with excitement. She holds up her empty glass. “You know what? You just might be right, Maren. But I may need some Dutch courage first.”
“Go forth! But be careful. You don’t want a hangover tomorrow,” I warn. She rubs my arm and throws me a half smile as she saunters away, looking smoking and ready to carpe diem.
The start of the music sends me scurrying out of the shade and to my seat, up in the front. I’m relieved to see Cohen standing with a pale, but ridiculously handsome, Deo at the altar.
The last guests sit, Gen among them, ignoring her mother’s scowl as she sips another over-full glass of wine. The violins swell, and we all stand and turn.
I take a quick look at Deo first. His jaw swings open, and Cohen slaps a congratulatory hand on his back. Before anyone notices, he wipes his eyes and blinks hard, then smiles and mouths, “So beautiful” to Whit.
Whit looks like an angel. She’s wearing a simple ivory sheath that glows against her peachy tan. A long veil with fancy bands of lace embroidery covers her dark hair. She doesn’t look right or left. Her eyes focus down the center, directly on Deo. Marigold’s husband, Rocko, stands to one side of her, and a beaming, balding man I assume is her dad stands on the other.
When she walks down the aisle, I notice the bouquet of flowers in her hands has a Purple Heart pinned to it, and I choke up when I realize it’s her brother’s. Deo and Cohen told me how crushed Whit was to plan the wedding knowing he wouldn’t be there to celebrate with her, and I catch her running her fingers over the medal before she wipes her eyes quickly.
The vows are simple and perfect, and they make more than a few guests, me among them, cry openly. Cohen catches my eye and smiles, and I know he’ll tease me later, but I don’t care. When the non-denominational holy woman tells Deo and Whit they can kiss, he tips her back and kisses her with such total passion and love that they get an immediate standing ovation.
“This perfect girl is my wife!” he bellows when they stand back up. “How lucky am I?”
Everyone cheers back their support, and Whit shakes her head and slaps at him, her blush the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen.
The party whirls around us, and it’s a while before I see Cohen, who’s being introduced to everyone and keeps getting pulled away every time he makes his way to me. As I sip glass after glass of wine and wait for Cohen to come dance with me, I happen to catch a glimpse of Gen slipping away with a handsome guy whose green eyes take her in hungrily. I watch them head to his car, where he opens the door for her, and they drive away together.
“‘Just friends’ my ass,” I murmur. “Poor girl’s as blind as I was. She’ll figure it out, though…”
I finally feel Cohen’s arms circle my waist, and his lips press to my neck. “Come dance with me, sexy lady,” he coaxes.
I follow him onto the dance floor and sway in his arms. “This is such an awesome day.”
“I know it. I can’t wait till you’re my wife. I know we said a long engagement would be fine, but I don’t know if I can wait.”
“You… You want to get married? Soon?” We both stop dancing, and I stare while he laughs sheepishly. “Can we afford that? Do your parents know? Are you… Are you sure?”
I stare at the ring twinkling on my finger. I guess it still doesn’t feel real yet, the fact that Cohen honestly wants to make me his wife. Soon. My heart flutters in my chest.
“C’mon, Maren. You know that’s what I want. I’ve got plans. You know I always have plans.” He shakes his head and stops talking, pulling me close instead. “Actually, I wanted to talk to you about moving that engagement party up. Like, by a lot.” He laughs at my shocked look. “I told you, babe. I have plans.”
I move with him. “I’m very happy to hear you have plans,” I whisper. We’re stunningly, happily silent for a few more beats before I ask, “What was Deo so upset about?”
He pulls away and tips my face up under my chin, so we’re looking into each other’s eyes. “He was scared he wasn’t going to be good enough for her. He was scared he rushed her.”
r /> “That’s crazy talk,” I protest. “They’re amazing together.”
“I know it. I told him that,” he says, kissing me softly. “But I know how he feels. You know I worry I’m not enough for you sometimes. You’re damn amazing, woman.”
I ball my hands in his suit jacket. “Stop that right now. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
He kisses me harder, then pulls back, his eyes dark. “So, Deo started this tradition at his mom’s wedding.”
“Yeah?” I like the way his mouth curves, like he’s going to suggest something naughty. We did have so much fun playing with those handcuffs last night…
“He and Whit snuck away and had sex. And look how amazing things have gone for them.” His fingers bite through the red silk of my dress.
“Well, you know it’s bad luck to break traditions, Cohen.” I tug at his scarlet tie. “Shall we go and find someplace private?”
He dips me low and his smile is pure love. “I love you so damn much.”
To the depths. And deeper, I think.
And I’ll tell him that. As soon as we carry on the Becketts’ wedding tradition.
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Acknowledgments
Huge, heartfelt thanks to the awesome bloggers and readers who have supported this series since the very beginning. We love you for respecting what we do, and sharing what we all love.
Thank you to Kevan Lyon, who made sure that the folks from Silver Strand found a good home, and to the entire crew at Entangled Publishing for your passion and hard work.
We are so grateful to have such amazing, strong, talented women in our lives whose friendships and loyalty we treasure. Thanks to Nyrae Dawn, E.L. James, Christa Desir, Tracey Garvis-Graves, Elizabeth Hunter, Jolene Perry, Angie Stanton, Karly Blakemore, Laura Bradley Rede, Lani Wendt Young, Michele Scott, Nicole Williams, Nichole Chase, Elizabeth Reyes, Tina Reber, and so many more, for helping to keep our heads above water.