by Sue Barr
“No one will discover us, Miss Bingley. I shall say my piece and then leave.”
“You have nothing to say to me, other than to apologize.”
With defiance she lifted her chin, not willing to back down. She knew he would never harm her physically and other than that one near kiss... No. She wouldn’t dwell on that. He was a cad, a despicable cad, fooling people with his act of being a caring man of God.
“You deny that you attempted to compromise Mr. Darcy at the stables?”
“Yes!”
His left eyebrow arched at her emphatic answer.
“I witnessed you hiding in the stable when Mr. Darcy was in attendance, so I respectfully disagree with your reply.”
Her sole dedication for three years had been to attain a marriage proposal from Mr. Darcy and she could see why Lord Nathan thought she’d followed him to the stables. No one seemed to recognize she no longer held those expectations.
“Please allow me a moment to comprehend your motives,” she challenged. “You drag me into the library, unescorted, to chastise me about alleged attempts to not only compromise Mr. Darcy, but the Marquis of Dorchester as well? You are full of rich irony, Lord Nathan.”
“Enlighten me then as to why you crept so stealthily from the ballroom.”
“Crept? I have never crept anywhere in my life, even as a child.” Granted, she’d made sure no one noticed her withdrawing from the overcrowded room, exception being the annoying man standing before her, but that certainly didn’t qualify as creeping.
“I recall a certain incident in the stable. Had you forgotten that?”
“That is old news, Lord Nathan and we are not talking about it again.” A thought crossed her mind. How, in such a crush of people, had he witnessed her slip away? “Were you spying on me?” she asked, her eyes narrowing.
“Not spying, merely interested when I noticed you leave shortly after the Marquis exited the room.”
“Where I go and what I do is none of your business. You are not my keeper.”
He pressed closer and her breath almost stuttered to a complete stop. Idly, he lifted his hand and curled the hair that spilled over her shoulder around his finger.
“Maybe I should be appointed as your keeper. You could use some direction in life.”
“And you have a wealth of experience in advising decent young woman?”
He lifted his hand and cupped her chin with long, lean fingers. Slowly his thumb swept across her mouth. Unbidden warmth spread beneath her skin as she recalled the last time they’d crossed respectable boundaries. She turned her head, her eyelids fluttering down.
That one movement was her undoing. With eyes tightly closed, her other senses took over. His utterly male fragrance danced beneath her nose. Crisp and clean with a hint of shaving cream and sandalwood. No man had ever stood so close, his very nearness creating a shocking intimacy and her heart thrummed in anticipation of his next advance.
“I have a wealth of experience in ways you couldn’t begin to fathom. I was a Rake, Miss Bingley, a man who thought nothing of seducing little girls like you.” The heat of his breath brushed the shell of her ear and his fingers continued to toy with her lock of hair. “I would sweep them into my arms and kiss them until nothing existed for them except me.”
Without thought she turned her head back toward him and their lips inadvertently touched for one searing second. He recoiled as though burned and stepped back to a respectable distance. Instantly she missed the heat of his body and fought a strange desire to boldly follow his retreat, to press her body against his.
“Please forgive me. My actions are unconscionable,” he forced through stiff lips.
Anger and pride fought for purchase of her feelings. As he turned to leave the room, anger won the day and she called out to him in her most haughty voice.
“Who are you to say these things to me?”
Slowly he faced her, his grey eyes turning the color of frosty steel.
“My actions once again contradict my character. You may choose not to believe what I say, but I am a man who prays you find your path to happiness and contentment.” He turned to walk away and then, as if he’d had another thought, turned around. “Take care who you entice with your beauty and wealth. The next man to find you alone in a hallway may take more from you than one kiss.”
He executed a tight bow and exited. It wasn’t until after he left the room that she realized she still held her fingers against her lips because once again they felt as though they’d been branded.
~~~ooo0ooo~~~
After a night of tossing and turning, sleeping only fitfully, Caroline took her time walking to the breakfast room, allowing her mind to travel where it willed. Inevitably, it chose the path that led straight to Lord Nathan.
She sighed and then chided herself. That’s all she seemed to do this morning, at regular intervals, as though she had scheduled them. What on earth was wrong with her? She shook her head, already knowing the answer. She would not think of him. Not again, and sighed.
The clock chimed the ninth hour as she turned toward the breakfast room. With luck, someone other than the Bennet ladies would be in attendance. She desperately needed more conversation than ribbons, hats and red-coated officers of the militia. As luck would have it, Georgiana was already seated. With relief she noted there was no one else in the bright, hexagonal shaped room.
“Good morning, Georgiana.” Caroline made her way to where four chafing dishes awaited. She moved down the sideboard, preparing her plate.
“Good morning, Caroline,” Georgiana replied and dropped a dollop of clotted cream onto her scone.
She had an air of excitement about her and kept glancing toward the door, as though expecting someone. For a brief moment Caroline’s heart skipped a beat, wondering if Lord Nathan may join them, but discarded the idea as quickly as it arose. He was not a guest at Pemberley, therefore would not be breaking his fast with any of them. Not that she wanted him to see him again. She sighed.
She’d just sat at the table when Darcy joined them.
“Good morning, Fitz.” Georgiana’s excitement seemed to reach fever pitch and Caroline was reminded of a golden retriever pup from her childhood, forever wiggling and scrambling, waiting for someone, anyone, to throw a stick to chase.
“Good morning, Georgiana. Miss Bingley.” He moved down the sideboard and prepared his own plate before joining them at the table. A footman carefully poured them both a cup of tea before retreating back against the damask clad wall.
“May I ask her now?”
“Georgiana, maybe Miss Bingley would like to break her fast before you pounce on her with your idea.” Although his voice sounded stern, Caroline noted a glint of humor in his hazel eyes.
“I do believe I’m capable of eating and conversing at the same time,” Caroline stated, and added a lump of sugar to her tea.” I’ve been given to understand it’s an acceptable activity at the dining table, as long as I don’t talk with food in my mouth. Kings and Queens have been doing it for years, I’m told.”
“I forgot what a wit you are, Miss Bingley,” came Darcy’s droll response. “You may wish to revisit that observation after my sister has spoken with you.”
“Once I’ve had my requisite cup of tea, I can face anything.” She afforded a small wink at Georgiana, who readily smiled at her in return.
She enjoyed this comradery. For so long she’d relentlessly pursued Darcy and never relaxed in his company. Also, for the past year, most of their conversations, or rather her extraneous monologues had been to vilify Miss Elizabeth Bennet. No wonder he’d avoided her presence. She’d been a veritable shrew. Now, confident in her new tentative friendship with Elizabeth as well as Georgiana, she rather enjoyed this informal tête-à-tête.
The young woman managed to wait until the last drop of tea had been drunk and her plates whisked away before she broached the subject that had her feet tapping beneath the table in nervousness.
“Now, darling Georgiana,” she said
after daintily dabbing the corner of her mouth with a linen napkin. “What has you in such a dither?”
Darcy lifted his newspaper higher and hid behind it. That he didn’t want to interfere yet wanted to be in the room when his sister posed her question was irrefutable and she wondered what the two of them had cooked up.
“Miss Bingley – Caroline – as you know my companion, Mrs. Annesley has been called to care for her dear mother and we don’t know when she’ll return. I wondered... I mean, I’d like...” She trailed off and glanced at the newspaper Darcy still held. “Help me, Fitz.”
He lowered half the newspaper and levelled a firm look at her. “Oh no, poppet, this is your request.” The paper went back up in front of his face.
Georgiana fidgeted for a few seconds more, then said in one big rush, “Would you be my guest, here at Pemberley, until Fitz and Elizabeth return from their wedding trip?”
Completely flummoxed, Caroline stared at Georgiana, and then remembered to close her mouth which she was sure had fallen open in surprise. Gaping at the breakfast table was not exactly genteel. Of all things she could have imagined, and she had imagined a lot in her life, this had never crossed her mind. She wouldn’t have to leave Pemberley and be tossed on the street by Louisa. At least, not yet.
“This is a surprise, Georgiana,” she replied slowly, her mind scampering in a dozen different directions. “May I give you my answer later in the day?”
She longed to say yes right away, and although her heart leaped with joy at having a reprieve from worrying about where she would lay her head, she needed to think about this proposition most thoroughly.
“Oh yes, Miss – Caroline. I shall await your answer.” Georgiana gave her an unguarded smile, the first one she’d seen in over a year. “I do hope you’ll say yes.”
“Mmmm... Well...” Her mind took a different tack. By staying at Pemberley, she would also be in close proximity to Lord Nathan. She placed the linen napkin on the table, unaware she’d twisted it completely out of shape. “I shall go check on my vicar; she should be awake by now.”
“Don’t you mean your sister?”
She frowned at Georgiana’s strange question. Wasn’t that what she just said? She couldn’t be sure, but she thought she heard the stuffy Mr. Darcy harrumph. How odd.
Caroline knocked on the door to Louisa and Robert’s suite. Lately, her sister had a hard time rising in the morning, complaining of severe nausea and an inability to keep anything down save weak tea and stale crackers.
Slowly she opened the door and was greeted by the sight of Louisa still in her bed, her nightcap slightly askew. Her pallid complexion confirmed that she’d had another difficult morning. Although her sister had spitefully told her she was no longer welcome in her home, it hurt Caroline’s heart to see Louisa in such dire straits. She pulled a chair closer to the bed and sat.
“I wish there was something I could do for you.”
“Would you carry this child for me?” Despite her weakened condition, Louisa smiled.
“That would require me to have a husband, of which the choices are few and far between, plus, I haven’t been asked.”
“Don’t worry, my dear sister. We shall soon return to London and in a few months the Season shall begin. I’m sure there’s a nice Baron or knighted gentleman who would love to have you for his wife.” Louisa picked up a cracker and bit into it, grimacing as she chewed.
“Have you forgotten?”
“Forgotten what?”
“You informed me, in no uncertain terms, I was no longer welcome at your home. You wanted my suite of rooms for the nursery.”
Louisa set down the cracker and tears formed in her eyes. Weeping easily had become another small foible of her pregnancy.
“Of course you shall remain with us until you marry. I was grouchy and angry for reasons I don’t remember when I said that. Can you forgive me?”
“Yes, but I may not return immediately.”
Louisa stopped with a cracker half way to her mouth.
“Whatever do you mean?”
“Miss Darcy has invited me to be her companion while Darcy is away on his wedding trip. She wishes me to remain with her until they return.”
“Oh. Does this mean you won’t be with me to prepare for the baby?”
Dismayed, Caroline realized she’d never given the baby a single thought. What kind of sister was she?
“Of course I shall be there for you. It’s only for three months and there will be plenty of time before your newest addition arrives.”
“Oh, Caroline,” Louisa reached for her hands, her red rimmed eyes brimming with fresh tears. “I don’t know if I could go through this without you by my side. You are always so level headed and keep me centered.”
Mild shock held her still. Never once in all her life had her sister given such a compliment. She knew she was the more forthright of the two of them, but to be thought of in this manner by her elder sister brought a strange tightness to her chest.
What a sight they’d be if she began crying alongside her sister. Louisa hiccupped back a sob and right then, she decided she didn’t care and hugged her sister close while indulging in a few happy tears herself. Once again, she found herself in need of the Steward of the Linen Cupboard and fervently wished Charles were there to complete their tight little circle.
Chapter 13
Nathan sat in his favorite chair, his bible open to the Book of Psalms on his knee, dawn breaking over the eastern sky. He found himself commiserating with David over his actions at the ball with Miss Bingley.
Have mercy on me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: according to the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgression4, and further down, Create in me a clean heart; and renew a right spirit within me5. He prayed God would help mend the rift between him and Miss Bingley as once again, he’d taken the wrong tack with her.
When she slipped out of the ball room not long after the Marquis of Dorchester had exited through that very same archway, he’d been blinded by jealous rage and in a fit of temper stormed after her and accused her attempting to compromise not only the Marquis, but Darcy as well.
If she never spoke to him again he had no one to blame but himself. He settled his head on the back of the chair and looked up to the ceiling. “Lord, help me. If she is the one You have brought me, to be my wife and help mate, give me the words to build a bridge over this chasm I’ve created through jealousy and pride. I cannot do this by myself.”
He stayed silent for a few moments, meditating on God and committing his ways to the gentle hand of the One who loved him more than anything in this world. After reading a few more chapters, he became restless and decided to take Thunder for a ride.
Twenty minutes later, Nathan reined his horse in at the top of the hill and looked back over Pemberley estate. This was one of the things he truly enjoyed with his enviable position as Darcy’s vicar. Other than his home, Adborough Hall, there was no lovelier place to live.
A light blanket of fog floated atop the meadow, destined to be burned off when the late autumn sun rose to its zenith. Spirals of smoke drifted upward in lazy curls from the multitude of chimneys scattered over the vast roof of the great house. With the wedding only two days away, Darcy’s house was filled to the rafters with family and guests. One of those guests kept intruding into his thoughts and disturbing his peace of mind. What had he been thinking when they were in the music room? His actions belied his deeply held belief of honor and respect.
He leaned forward in the saddle, the leather creaking with his movement and patted the stallion’s neck. “I’m over my head, Thunder. How can I tell her of God’s unfailing love if I can’t even be in the same room as her without wanting to kiss her?”
He sat back in the saddle and clicked his tongue in the back of his throat. At that slight command, Thunder began to trot down the hill toward a lush valley. This was a familiar trail which Thunder knew well and Nathan allowed his mind to wander, hoping to recei
ve some sign from God with regard to Miss Bingley.
He’d almost reached the path that would lead him back to Kympton when a slight figure, dressed in a figure hugging hunter green riding habit atop a familiar tan horse, burst through the ring of trees at a reckless pace. Valiantly, Miss Bingley attempted to bring her horse under control, but the filly paid no heed and commenced to run at a full gallop across the meadow. Another horse and rider, wearing Darcy colors, broke out of the trees after her. He recognized Daniel, one of the stable hands used to escort ladies when they rode the grounds. Daniel was too far behind to catch her, but Nathan wasn’t.
He immediately urged his stallion to intercept, its long strides quickly gaining ground on the smaller horse. When he was able, he pulled alongside and grabbed the halter and between him and Thunder, brought them all to a safe stop.
“Miss Bingley, are you all right?” He maintained control of the halter in case her horse decided to bolt again.
“Yes, quite all right.” She sounded breathless and her cheeks had a healthy glow from all the exercise. “You may release the halter. I’m sure Lady Bess has run her course.”
“May I enquire as to what happened?”
“I’m not sure. Something spooked her because without warning she began to gallop. Thank goodness she stayed to the trail. I’m not sure what would have happened if she’d veered into the trees.”
By this time Daniel had reached them. He jumped off his horse and approached, deep concern etched on his face.
“Are you all right, Miss?” He ran an experienced eye over the horse’s form.
“Yes, thank you, Daniel.”
“Do you mind if we stop here for a moment. I want to check her out, make sure she wasn’t injured or anything.” Nathan asked.
“Please do. I’d hate for Bess to have been injured. I enjoy riding her whenever I’m here.” She leaned forward and caressed the horse’s silky mane. “She’s been a good friend. Haven’t you, Bess?”
The horse nickered and tossed back her head as if in agreement. He dismounted Thunder and quickly ran his hands over Bess’ flank and checked her hooves while Daniel held the halter and spoke soothing words. Nothing seemed untoward, until he spotted a slight burr, stuck beneath the cinch halter that encircled her belly. He removed the prickly irritant and came around to Miss Bingley’s side.
