“Oh!” She took Mrs. Benton’s arm and dragged her across the place. “Here’s my bathroom and my bedroom. I haven’t done much in there yet. I don’t really sleep in there. I think I prefer the couch.” Again, the tears flowed, and she let go of the woman and returned to the living room. “Maybe I’m getting a bad back, the mattress doesn’t suit me. I probably should have checked that, but I needed to move fast and this place was available.” Her voice broke and the sobs took over.
In an unexpected move, Mrs. Benton took Wynn into her arms.
The aroma of cookies and comfort surrounded her. Wynn didn’t know how long she stood there in Mrs. Benton’s embrace crying, but by the time she was finished, she was weak, spent, and exhausted. “I’m fine.”
Mrs. Benton held her tight.
“I just wanted to make sure Garner was fine.” Again, she sniffed. “I only ask because we were friends all through grad school and then we were brought together by that asteroid. No matter where life takes us, I want to make sure he’s fine, because I’m fine.”
She pulled back and looked into Mrs. Benton’s eyes. They were kind eyes, caring eyes, a deep brown that offered comfort. Up until now she didn’t really like when people described eyes that way, but with Mrs. Benton it fit.
“Perhaps I should come back tomorrow and we can take a walk in that park on the corner. A bit of fresh air will do you good.” Mrs. Benton returned to the table and straightened up the dishes.
She wasn’t a baby that needed fresh air and a walk in the sunshine. “I would appreciate that.” All right, maybe she was a baby.
“I always find that even in the darkest times, a good night’s sleep in a proper bed is something that is needed.” Mrs. Benton returned with a fresh handkerchief she produced from some secret pocket and wiped Wynn’s eyes. “I am going to leave the dishes. I can pick them up tomorrow. Sometimes just knowing someone is coming back is good for the soul.”
Wynn nodded. Part of her wanted to hold on to the woman and never let go. “You’ll tell Garner that I’m fine and tell him I hope he’s fine?” She held up her hand. “Maybe you don’t need to tell him anything.”
“I will see you tomorrow.” Mrs. Benton pressed her palm to her cheek and after a pause, turned and left.
In her apartment alone, Wynn returned to her computer. She sighed at an email from Adam apologizing for going to Dr. MacFarland. Of course, she forgave her friend. No matter what, her and Garner’s situation would have imploded.
She scrolled to the next message. Her heart seized at seeing a response to one of her follow up emails from International Space Propulsion. She clicked the email and held her breath.
Dear Dr. Carlsbad,
Thank you for following up. I have reviewed your résumé and been following your career as of late. We are interested in interviewing you for the Senior Astronomer position. Please call the office to arrange a meeting as soon as possible.
Dr. Steven Hail, Director.
The pit in her stomach lightened a little. “New start, new life, new universe.” She repeated her mantra, walked across her apartment to the bedroom and peered inside.
“I can do this.” She forced herself inside the room, lay down on the bed flat on her back, arms by her side, and stared up at the ceiling.
The ceiling.
The plain, boring ceiling with one sad and generic oil-rubbed bronze light fixture stuck right in the middle.
Unable to make any more tears, she simply stared up wondering how many people ever thought about their ceiling. Unless something was wrong with it, no one ever gave the ceiling a second thought.
No, most people never considered their ceiling. Then again, those same individuals never had a custom ceiling that glittered like stars in the night with one perfect red gemstone above their bed representing their favorite planet.
Never again would she ever be able to look at a ceiling and not think of the grand one she had for a few weeks, made all the more spectacular when she gazed up at the jeweled art piece as she held on to Garner after making love.
Satisfied, she would take in the skyscape he created with her in mind until she drifted off.
She glanced over at the window. Soon it would be dark, soon the stars would be out, soon the sky that was her home would twinkle. She didn’t have a ceiling, she didn’t have Garner, and she wasn’t fine. All she knew was she had to keep looking out to infinity and like always, start again. But all she could think about was how he walked away from her a second time.
Chapter Nineteen
Dr. Steven Hail knocked on the open door to Wynn’s new office and entered. “Dr. Carlsbad, I didn’t think I’d find you here this early.”
“I’m actually here late.” From behind her new desk in her new office, Wynn faced her new boss. Her only goal in life was to not make a scene, not go rogue, and keep this job. She made it through her interviews and security check and started a week ago as Senior Research Astronomer. The previous night she got her first night on the telescope, this time looking into deep space at a supernova, the death of a star. It felt fitting, since in only a few hours Personal Space would launch Maverick, and her time with the organization would officially be over.
No, no one ever fired her, and that little bit of a technicality made her hold onto the hope that somehow, someway, Garner would show up.
Logic reminded her how he walked away five years ago, and had she never showed up with her fanfares and asteroids, he would have stayed away. She didn’t need any further data to come to her conclusion.
“If you’re not too tired after your telescope time, the team and I wanted you to join their Monday morning media meeting. It used to be on Wednesday morning, but they changed it because they liked the alliteration.” Her new boss chuckled.
With nothing but staring up at an unspectacular ceiling planned for the rest of her day, she stood and stretched.
Dr. Hail glanced around the room and narrowed his eyes. “You know, you can feel free to get settled. Hang some things on the wall.”
Wynn grabbed her laptop and scanned the white walls. Cleaner, brighter patches of paint told her that at one point someone had hung up their diplomas, their magazine covers, their little details that made their space personal. At her internal play on words, she sighed. “I am settled.”
Never again would she allow herself to get too comfortable. Her parents tried to teach her, and she didn’t learn the lesson. At NJL she almost had the right idea and brought only a box, but then she made the huge mistake of moving into her last employer’s home. Well, the man she worked for, actually with. Either way, she slipped, a mistake she wouldn’t make again. This time she wouldn’t even bother putting a notepad with her initials on the desk.
“Oh well, there’s something to be said for simplicity.” The man motioned toward the door. “Why don’t we go to the conference room?”
“Great.” She followed her boss down the hall into the large room with a long glass table where her co-workers had gathered. She nodded at her fellow researchers and a couple of people she recognized from the marketing team.
“As requested, I brought our latest star.” Dr. Hail took his seat at the head of the table.
Before taking the last available seat, Wynn glanced down at her phone. The Personal Space launch was still scheduled with no foreseen delays. She closed her eyes and said a silent prayer all went off without a hitch.
“Dr. Carlsbad.” Nigel, the head of marketing, addressed her. “We wanted you here because you already have some notoriety in the media, something we would like to capitalize on.”
Smile on her face, she tried to have no reaction to the word capitalize or worse, notoriety.
“I’m doing a piece on space in popular culture.” One of the women at the table raised her hand. “I was wondering if I could interview you.”
“That’s a big topic.” Wynn’s throat dried out at the mention of Garner’s specialty.
“You’re a
fine source,” Nigel interrupted. “We just need a person to credit with some quotes.”
She pressed her lips together to hold in her words. All they wanted was a talking head, but in no world could she attend one of her first meetings for her new job and fire off.
“Dr. Carlsbad, do you have something you want to say?” Dr. Hail asked.
No, she didn’t. She wanted to keep her job, have allies, and earn the money to pay back Garner. Eventually, maybe as time went by, she would have a home here.
“Please, Dr. Carlsbad, we like all ideas here. Don’t be shy,” her boss urged.
She swallowed. “With space in the media more and more, this is a specialty on its own. If you want someone to give you the proper quotes, I would speak to Dr. Garner Knox. He did his dissertation on the subject.”
“Good.” Dr. Hail pointed at her. “Excellent resource. Love the sharing of ideas.”
The woman who asked the question took some notes. “May I tell him you referred me?”
“Of course,” Wynn said. “He’s one of the best scientists in that field. No one can top him.”
Another man at the table chuckled. “What he does is hardly science.”
“I beg to differ.” She shook her head. “I know what it takes to bring space to the masses. I once thought it was the easy way out, but it’s only a different way to see science. Those scientists are the ones on the front lines, talking to the public to make sure we get our funding and keep science relevant.”
“I’m a fan.” The woman nodded.
Wynn glanced at her phone again. The launch was still fine. “You may want to wait to call him. He has a big event today.”
“Yes, the Personal Space launch of the Maverick probe. Looks like they may actually get something up in the air,” Nigel said.
“I hope so.” If nothing else, she wanted to watch the launch on the live feed. In what seemed like a lifetime ago, she promised she would be there for this momentous occasion and in her heart she would be.
“I’m sure we all wish them the best of luck. It’s always fun to see amateurs trying to take on the real scientists.” He rifled through some papers.
Wynn hooked her hair behind her ear and adjusted the scarf at her neck, but none of the fidgeting seemed to abate the tightness in her chest at the man’s words. “Excuse me, but I personally know those engineers, and their credentials are impeccable.”
“They still don’t have anything to show for their work,” Nigel shot back. “Now they’re blowing all their money on rocket fuel, as you pointed out.”
Comments like these were exactly what Garner wanted to avoid. She shot out of her chair. “They are learning, like any fledgling company, and one thing they have is the flexibility to be able to take a chance. There are many benefits to private-sector companies, like the ability to be nimble. If I had understood the profit and loss correctly, I would’ve seen that even with the extra expense of the rocket fuel, they were still making money and doing what their investors wanted.” Her words echoed around the room, and she slowly returned to her seat. If only she went to Garner first. In trying to make everything better, she made it worse. Again, she looked at her phone. The whole not making a scene and not firing off thing didn’t work for her.
“It’s exactly that kind of fire we want on our media feed, so why don’t we review your schedule?” Nigel handed her a piece of paper. “We’d like to have you on our blog, and we already secured some news appearances for you.”
Wynn glanced at the document and swallowed. No, she wasn’t sitting in on a meeting like Dr. Hail had her believe. Instead, this meeting was about her and her real role at International Space Propulsion. At least Personal Space was up front about what they wanted her to do. “It seems as if you have me quite booked up. When will I have time to continue with my research?”
“You’ll have plenty of time to work on the telescopes. We don’t want you to get rusty,” Nigel explained. “Plus, getting some shots of you actually working as an astronomer would be fascinating for our followers. I don’t think many people understand what an astronomer does.”
“I actually do work as an astronomer.” In any attempt to not shoot off, she clutched the arm of the chair.
“Of course, of course, but right now we need to you to work as our spokesperson,” he countered. “This is a no brainer for you.”
He might as well have slapped her across the face. Her cheeks heated all the same. “I’ll have you know, as someone who has worked in front of the media with Personal Space, it takes a lot of thought, planning and brains.”
“You’ll have it easy.” Nigel sat back. “Consider it a break from the real science. We’ll take care of everything for you.”
She froze and crumpled the paper in her hand. No brainer, have it easy? Nigel’s words coupled with what he said about Garner not being a scientist swirled in her head, threatening to choke her. “Oh no.” A surge of panic bolted through her and again she stood. Long ago, maybe too long ago, she said something similar to Garner. Fast forward five years and add in going to someone else for help with the Maverick launch, and suddenly she realized she put the man she loved in the same position she was in right now. A scientist no one took seriously, especially her.
Her eyes heated, but she turned her back to the table. His strange words about him not being scientist enough made perfect sense. No wonder he kept asking if she believed in him. No wonder he walked away again.
“Dr. Carlsbad, are you all right?” her boss asked.
Though she trembled and wanted to run out of the room, she managed to face her new public. “I have an idea for our first story.”
Dr. Hail motioned for her to sit. “Please share.”
She continued to stand. “I think we need to cover the launch for Personal Space. I need to cover it.” No asteroids, no stars, no favors, she needed to make good on her promise.
Chapter Twenty
“Here we have Mars, or at least an extremely close facsimile to the planet.” Wynn’s voice rang through Garner’s office. Though he had watched the video of the two of them at the Mars simulator countless times, he still leaned forward.
Even in the space suit, the woman was gorgeous as she took him on a tour of the space.
He followed her, continuing to film the footage he would never share with the world, or put on the blog. It was his and his alone.
“Over here we have the habitat. This is where the astronauts would live.” She struck a little pose.
“Sexy.” He chuckled from behind the camera.
“How is this helping your book?” Her nose wrinkled.
“Can you trust me?” He moved closer. “Let me see what you see.”
Lips pursed, doubt in her eyes, she pointed up to the sky. “As you can see, the sun is much smaller on Mars than on Earth.”
Then her stance changed, she gasped. “Oh, Garner.” She jumped. “Garner.”
“What is it?” He ran over to her.
“Phobos.” Her voice came out with wonder and reverence.
“Tell me.” He stepped closer. The camera remained focused on her rather than the sky. “Not the facts, but what you really see.”
“It’s just a rock that got caught in Mars’ gravitational pull.” She shook her head. “It’s small, misshapen, lost, but found a home. Even if it’s temporary.”
Garner swallowed, stopped the video and opened up the document to his book. He finally found a starting point with Wynn's help, before she left. Now, the page with only a few lines mocked him and he clicked it closed, only to have another remnant of Wynn remain on his computer, something he found on his computer a week ago after his mother told him to go home.
Her résumé.
He stared at the little document she conveniently left on his desktop. The woman might have stayed until the launch, but she obviously planned on leaving right after. Everything—him, his job, them—was all a joke in her eyes.
“Dr. Kno
x.” Mrs. Benton tiptoed into the room. Since the grand breakup, he knew Mrs. Benton went to see Wynn. While part of him wanted to tell her to stop, he couldn’t cut off that last bit of contact.
“What is it?” He motioned for the woman to come forward then glanced at the time. In three hours, Personal Space would launch Maverick. Once he saw it take off, he was out of here. He didn’t know where, didn’t care, he only knew that he had to leave.
“Dana Freed is on the land line.” She lifted a cordless phone.
Already his voicemail on his cell phone was full, and though he told these people time and again he quit, somehow they wouldn’t take a hint. He held his hand out. “Stay here, please.”
Mrs. Benton nodded and handed him the phone.
“Dr. Knox.” He kept his voice low.
“Get on your plane, get to Nevada and do the right thing,” Dana growled.
“Maverick is on time, it’s going to go up. Jim can announce it. I don’t work for the company anymore,” he shot back.
“Currently, Jim has a coffee stain on his shirt. No one can speak for the company like you do,” Dana said. “You can’t just walk away.”
“I can walk away and I am.” Not wanting to engage any further, he hung up and held the phone out to Mrs. Benton.
“Doctor, if you don’t need me,” she said.
“I found her résumé.” Again he looked at the document, then turned his chair to the window. “She was just going to leave.”
“If you don’t mind me saying, I think she was planning for when you left,” Mrs. Benton said.
At the odd words, he spun the chair back around. “I didn’t go anywhere.”
Without speaking, Mrs. Benton straightened up some things on his desk, put his pens away and piled up his note pads.
What was the woman implying? He was right there any time she wanted to talk. She was the one with her résumé on his desktop. “I did leave after the press conference, and when I came home she was gone.”
Mrs. Benton continued straightening his books, then she took a rag out of her pocket, wiped down his desk, and lastly put the star in front of him.
Seducing the Stargazer Page 18
