* * * *
Brandon finished his three-mile run around ten-thirty and headed home. He needed to clear his mind from all that had happened in the last few days. He hadn’t yet talked to Simone. He knew she would be fuming by now.
He stepped out of the shower and toweled himself off. He put on a pair of boxers and walked to the kitchen. He poured himself a tall glass of milk. He grabbed three cookies that he had bought in Westport while he and Destiny had been out shopping. He decided he better do some damage control so he picked up his phone and sent Simone a text.
Hey babe. I’m sorry I snuck out on you like I did, but I needed to do take care of some business. I’m only trying to protect you. You know I love you more than the stars and moon, and I’ll come by tomorrow after work. Let’s go out for supper. Your choice.
He pushed send. He knew she was already asleep and wouldn’t get the message until morning. He made a mental note to call the flower shop in the morning and have three-dozen roses delivered. That would help. Simone loved to be pampered.
After he finished his milk and cookies, he crawled into bed. After tossing and turning for a good forty-five minutes, he determined it was to be one of those sleepless nights. He had some tough decisions to make. His band was in trouble if they didn’t find a drummer quick. But this girl, Allie, he just couldn’t see her being the right fit. Yeah, she could play. She played better than anyone he’d ever met. But she was rude, number one. She was cocky, too. He needed a band that could get along, not one that was bickering all the time. He had expressed his feelings to the guys.
“Let’s just use her for the one gig,” Cody said. “You know, like a probationary contract. Just use her to get through until we find someone else, then…” Cody took his finger and drew it along his neck.
Matt of course was more compassionate. He was never bothered by the opposite sex and agreed that Allie was incredibly talented.
There was something else about her too, but Brandon couldn’t quite put his finger on it. Perhaps it was her determined nature, the way she tossed her head when they were rocking out to the music. While she was playing, she was absent. The music carried her away to a place where no one was invited to join. He remembered how her hair fell over her shoulder and she kept tucking it back behind her ear between sets.
He threw the covers back and stepped out of bed. There was no use lying there when he couldn’t sleep. It drove him crazy. He needed something to quiet his mind. He walked to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of cold water from the fridge and then sat on the couch. He flipped through the television channels at least two times, but nothing caught his eye. Insomniacs must spend a lot of money with all the paid advertisements that were on, he thought. He flipped off the television and checked the clock. It was 11:45, too late to call anyone. Except Matt. He was an insomniac, too. Must be another effect of his nerves. But Matt was someone Brandon could confide in. Matt also gave great advice.
He picked up his phone and scrolled through his contacts until he found Matt’s number. Matt didn’t even start with a hello.
“I knew it could only be you calling me at this time,” he said answering the phone.
“Yep, you know me well buddy. You got any Ambien?”
Matt chuckled. “If I did, I would take it myself, man. What’s on your mind?”
“I just don’t know if we’re making the best decision. You know I want the best for the band, we all do, but one wrong decision could cost us time in finding another drummer is she doesn’t work out.”
He heard exhale smoke on the other end of the phone. “When did you take up smoking Matt?”
“It helps me sleep.”
“Wow. You never really know a person.”
“Never mind that. Listen to me. I’m not exactly sure what you’re so apprehensive about. The girl can play. And we don’t know her or her story, so you shouldn’t be so quick to pass judgment. There’s usually a reason for everything, and maybe she needs this badly. You know, there’s bigger stuff out there than ourselves. If she doesn’t work out, we’ll cross that bridge later. But life has a way of working itself out.”
“This coming from a guy who should probably be one of his own mental patients.”
“Play nice. Hey, did you hear about the auto mechanic that decided to visit a psychiatrist?”
“No, what happened.”
“He insisted on laying under the couch.”
Brandon laughed and heard Matt laughing through the phone.
“Good one, buddy. Get some sleep and I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
He hung up knowing what he needed to do. Sleep came easily afterward.
Chapter Five
An infection had set in. Although they gave Samuel massive doses of antibiotics to try and combat infection, he developed a fever anyway.
“Dr. Windsor will be by to see him this afternoon,” a heavyset nurse wearing Tweety Bird scrubs told Allie. “Hopefully this new antibiotic will be just what the doctor ordered,” she laughed revealing a full set of large teeth. “Get it? Just what the doctor ordered?” She slapped her hefty thigh. Allie managed a close-lipped smile, but she really wasn’t in any mood for jokes right now.
“Samuel, you tell your mama to lighten up. Laughter’s the best medicine. Oh, and also,” she said directing her attention back to Allie, “a Child Life Specialist will be stopping by today as well.”
“A Child Life Specialist? What’s that? Some sort of a social worker? Are they going to take my boy away?” Allie began to panic, her breaths coming in short spurts. She was anticipating the child welfare people to show up any minute. Maureen had warned her about other situations she’d heard about where they came to investigate child neglect. If they were to think that Samuel was unsupervised, that he was possibly being neglected, Allie feared they would rip him from her home.
“Oh honey,” the nurse said in a sympathetic tone. “I don’t know anything about anyone taking your baby away. A Child Life Specialist is someone who works for the hospital. They help kids with the hospital experience. So they’re not scared you know. They use play to ease the anxiety of all this.” She waved her arms around the room at all the contraptions and machines like she was a game show host revealing a new car. “Well, I best go check on my other patients,” the nurse said. “I’ll be back later.” She put her hand on Samuel’s leg. “You’re going to be just fine, little man. You just rest.”
Allie watched her walk out of the room, her bottom jiggling through her pale yellow pants. She let out a big sigh. She’d been doing that a lot lately. It helped her keep from breaking down into a puddle of tears.
She turned the television to a cartoon for Samuel. He looked so tiny lying in that big hospital bed. His little arm and leg in neon green casts no bigger than a jumbo sausage on a stick you would buy at the fair. He’d been such a trooper through this whole ordeal. He’d slept most of the time fortunately, awakening only when medical staff came in to poke and prod him.
It happened so fast Gail had told her. Little kids have a way of getting away from you so quickly. She had been distracted getting the groceries from the back of the car. She heard a squeal of tires and looked to see his little body lying on the asphalt, limbs bent awkwardly.
They were lucky it hadn’t been worse. Allie knew that. She didn’t know what she would do without Sammie. Would she recover if she’d lost him? Sitting there in the green chair next to his bed, her imagination got the best of her. Pictures began popping into her mind of a life without Samuel. A tiny casket, a small empty bed, an abandoned teddy bear never to be snuggled again. Tears sprang into her eyes. She bent over in her chair, allowing the sobs to come. She let them break loose from the tight places she’d been holding them in.
She could only be strong for so long. She opened her mouth to get a breath and a noise like an injured animal escaped. Allie was startled to realize it came from her. She had been so foolish all her life, always making bad decisions. She almost lost her son, her child, her baby. Of
course it was an accident. Even the knowledge of that didn’t stop the feelings of anger and fear that crept in. The realization of how different her life might be if the car had been going a little faster or if it had not swerved at the last minute was almost more than her mind could fathom.
The tears flowed down her cheeks, dropping off her chin, and landing on her jeans. She let them. For the first time in a long time she let go and released all the pain, the worry, the control that she’d kept buried inside.
The knock at the door startled her. She stood quickly wiping the tears from her cheeks using the palms of her hands. Her vision was bleary and she blinked several times trying to regain her focus. A head with dark hair peered around the door.
“Knock, knock. I hope I’m not disturbing you,” a male voice said. It sounded familiar to Allie and she tried to place it but couldn’t. She turned toward the sink and pulled a rough brown paper towel from the silver dispenser to use as a tissue. Crying always caused her nose to run excessively. She hated that about herself; among everything else lately.
“Come on in,” she called, dabbing her nose as she studied her reflection in the mirror. She turned toward the door to see Brandon Weaver standing right inside the door wearing khaki slacks and a blue pullover sweater. In his left hand he was pulling a red wagon. Inside the wagon sat a small navy blue duffel bag.
Their eyes met. By the look on his face, it was obvious to Allie that he was just as surprised to see her as she was he, maybe even more so.
He dropped his wagon handle and walked toward her extending his hand.
“Hello again,” he said taking her hand. His hand was warm and large and swallowed hers. Immediately heat rushed into her face. She wasn’t sure if the embarrassment from crying or the comfort in his touch were the cause. His voice was tender when he spoke.
“I think it’s time for a proper introduction. I’m Brandon Weaver.”
All Allie could do was nod. He lifted his other hand and placed it over hers so both of his hands were holding hers. He fixed his eyes on her face. Compassion filled his eyes. The same compassion she saw the day in the grocery store. Allie looked away. She felt so stupid having him see her like this. He released his hand from hers, and walked toward the bed.
“This must be Samuel. Hey there, little buddy,” he said. He pulled the green chair Allie had been sitting in closer to the side of the bed. Allie wondered what he was doing here. She looked to the door to see if Matt and Cody were with him. But how would they have heard? Then she noticed a badge clipped to the collar of his sweater.
“Are you from social services?” she asked
“What?”
“Are you from social services?”
He looked behind him then pointed at himself as if there were more people in the room than the three of them and she was directing the question to someone else.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t even tell you why I’m here, did I? I contract with the hospital. I’m a Child Life Specialist and I’m here to play with Samuel. You know to help him with his stay, to try to explain things to him, and sometimes to distract him from all that’s going on here.”
A feeling of relief flooded Allie. She laughed. Given the circumstances she knew it would appear awkward to be laughing but yet she couldn’t help it.
“Thank God,” she said placing her hand on her chest as if she could stop the rapid beat of it. “I’m so scared they’re going to take Samuel away from me.” She turned toward the window. “I’m sorry. I don’t even know why I’m telling you this.”
Her vulnerability was exposed. She looked down at herself suddenly feeling as if she was standing before this man stark naked. She pulled her tan cardigan sweater around her hugging it tightly to herself as if she could grab her words and her emotions and hold them inside her.
She looked at Samuel lying in the bed, his eyes fixed on the animated figures on the television. He was okay. He was going to be okay. She had to keep telling herself that.
Brandon rose from his chair and approached her. He placed both of his hands on her arms and rubbed them, as if he were trying to warm her up. A shiver came over her and without warning she threw her arms around his neck. He held her tightly and rubbed her back. The comfort overtook her and she wept on his shoulder. Suddenly she felt him pulling away.
“I’m sorry,” he said walking back toward his wagon. “I shouldn’t have touched you. It was very unprofessional of me. If it’s all right with you and little buddy here, I’m going to cut this session short and come back later. I just think it would be best if I came back. Again, I apologize.”
Allie watched him grab the handle to the red wagon and head to the door. She wanted to stop him. She wanted to tell him it was her fault. She wanted to feel his hands on her again; the warmth of him pressing into her. She swallowed hard and opened her mouth to urge him to stay but only the squeak of the wagon’s wheels filled the room. At the door he turned to her.
“By the way, we practice Friday at 7. Can you make it?”
All she managed was a nod.
Then he was gone.
* * * *
Brandon closed the door to room 303 behind him and took a deep breath. Stunned did not even come close to describing how he was feeling. He pulled his wagon down the hall to the elevator and stepped in. He pushed number 1 and descended to the floor that housed his office. He had other patients to see, but he needed time to regroup.
It amazed him how life worked.
At his desk, he picked up the phone and dialed Matt’s cell number. He might be with patients, but he was hoping he was available. He answered on the third ring. After getting some small talk concerning how many hours of sleep they both managed out of the way, Matt came out and asked him.
“So what’s up, buddy? You never call me while you’re at work.”
“I just wanted to tell you that you’re a wise man. You really never know what someone is going through. Here I am, just thinking this Allie girl just wants to play drums, maybe to make it big, same as I, but that’s not true. You’re right, there are bigger things out there, things that matter more.”
“I’m not following.”
“I just left a patient’s room named Samuel. He’s in a bad way. You’ll never guess who his mom is.”
“Allie?”
“Yes, Allie. Her son is hurt. I feel like she needs some help. Maybe I’m supposed to do something more than offer her a drumming job. I have a feeling it’s what you meant when you said there’s bigger stuff out there than just myself.”
“Follow your heart, Brandon.”
“More counselor advice?”
“That’s all I know, besides guitar.”
Brandon hung up the phone. He didn’t know why this girl was in his life suddenly. All he knew, was he hoped he would find out soon.
Chapter Six
Allie paced Aisle 3. It was slow at Given’s Grocery. The snow had fallen throughout the night blanketing the town and keeping most people in. They had stocked up yesterday when the weather reporters warned of an approaching storm.
Thomas, the shift manager had sent Allie to straighten inventory. Right now she was supposed to be lining up boxes of rice and stacking bags of beans, pulling everything to the front of the shelves giving the appearance of freshly stocked merchandise. She couldn’t concentrate. Her mind felt like a can of confetti string that someone squeezed all over the place. She had so many thoughts running through her head: Samuel, medical bills, the drumming gig, but mostly Brandon.
The things she should be worrying about were being pushed to the outer edges by thoughts of him. If she concentrated hard enough she could feel his arms around her and smell the scent of the laundry detergent from his sweater mixed with the smell of soap on his neck. The guy was invading her every thought. Not only was he handsome, with the dark hair and the eyes the color of coffee with cream, but also he was tender showing great compassion by working with children. It took a great heart to do that. There had to be something wr
ong with him.
Of course! That’s it! He’s gay. She should’ve known, men didn’t come packaged as wonderfully as he without a glaring flaw.
Allie’s thoughts were interrupted when Gerald approached her. He had an awkward gait that reminded her of an old man. He put up his hand in a friendly wave even though they’d already spoken at least three times since her shift started.
“Hi, Owee.”
“Hello, Gerald,” she stopped pacing the aisle and stopped at some jars of spaghetti sauce. “Look at this, Gerald. We’ve got traditional sauce, mushroom, three cheese, organic. With so many choices, how does somebody make up their mind?”
“I don’t eat spaghetti Owee. Looks like worms. I ate a worm once. It wasn’t my fault. Someone made me. A mean boy.”
Most people pitied Gerald. Allie knew that. She could see it on their faces at work every day. She’d watched people roll their eyes behind his back. They were annoyed by his slow talk and his simplicity. But looking at him turning the jars all the right direction, humming softly to himself, Allie envied him. He had no real worries. His biggest concern was if he was out of Swanson turkey and dressing TV dinners.
He was a creature of habit, and that was his dinner every night. He had a simple existence; not the longing for more that seemed to plague every other human being Allie came into contact with. She wished she could see the world through Gerald’s eyes. He was childlike and accepted things for what they were. He was transparent. A “what you see is what you get” kind of person. Genuine. And true.
She tried to put herself in his shoes for a minute; or rather she put him inside her shoes. If he felt for someone the way she felt for Brandon, he would tell them. Plain and simple. He would just tell them. Maybe that’s what she should do.
Hearts In Rhythm Page 4
