by Cathy Glass
As I drove home, Filip’s words rang in my ears. I felt sorry for him, and although I was sure he was sincere in what he’d said I doubted his family would be reunited any time soon. The next review was set for six months later and I was sure Molly and Kit would still be with me then, and for many reviews to come, possibly stretching into years.
The house was quiet and orderly when I arrived home, unlike when Keelie was there. Maggie had time for a cup of tea before she left and we chatted a bit about the Christmas party, which was one of the highlights on the fostering calendar. I’d bought the children new outfits to wear – a smart little tuxedo with a bow tie for Kit and a sparkling party dress for Molly, which she’d chosen. Maggie said Keelie had a new costume too and showed me a photo on her phone of Keelie dressed as an elf. We laughed, but I greatly admired Keelie’s sense of fun – not many girls her age would dress up like that. Lucy and Paula would be dressed fashionably, but Adrian had his work’s Christmas party on the same day. When they were younger, we all went.
The following day, Friday, we had contact in the afternoon. Filip was waiting as usual in the room when I arrived with Molly and Kit. He came over, smiling, kissed the children and gave me an envelope with a card inside. ‘It’s from Aneta,’ he said. I thanked him, although if it contained anything valuable I’d have to give it back. Foster carers aren’t allowed to accept gifts from the child’s family in case it sways their objectivity when reporting any disclosure the child might make about their home life. I wished them a nice time, said goodbye and waited until I was outside the centre to open the envelope. It was a handmade thank-you card decorated with pretty flowers. Inside, Aneta had written: Thank you for looking after my children. Aneta x. There would be no problem in me keeping it, but I would let Edith know the next time I spoke to her.
That weekend was busy, pleasantly so. On Saturday we did the last of our Christmas shopping. Adrian, Lucy and Paula went together to a large shopping centre out of town and I took Molly and Kit locally to buy gifts for their parents. It’s usual for the foster carer to buy gifts for their child’s family for special occasions, including Christmas, birthdays, Mother’s and Father’s Day. Kit soon grew bored with shopping and fell asleep in the stroller, while Molly took her time choosing presents for her parents. Eventually she settled on a gift box of toiletries for each of them. She also chose a Christmas card. To Mummy and Daddy with Love was on the front in glittery lettering. There were lots of nice words inside about how much they were loved. I could picture Filip reading the card alone on Christmas morning and I knew he’d be touched. I assumed he would be visiting Aneta at some point on Christmas Day and would take the card and her present with him.
The fostering Christmas party on Saturday night was great fun. It was held, as it was most years, in a village hall, and volunteers had spent most of the day decorating the hall with garlands, balloons and a very big Christmas tree. There was a children’s entertainer and a disco with disco lights that sent moving coloured patterns across the floor, which the younger children chased and tried to catch and stamp on. Lucy and Paula danced with Molly and Kit while I chatted to friends, some of whom I hadn’t seen for a long time. There was a buffet supper, games with prizes for all ages of children and more dancing. The atmosphere was light, festive and gay, where fostering families could come together and leave their problems behind. Towards the end of the evening, the music was halted, sleigh bells were heard in the distance and Father Christmas appeared. He had a sack full of presents over each shoulder, and beside him, ready to help, was a large elf with a white beard, dressed in a red hat and a tight-fitting red-and-green costume with matching sheen tights. We all cheered and clapped, while some of the older lads whistled and whooped. ‘I told Keelie she needed the next size up,’ Maggie whispered to me, and I smiled.
Father Christmas sat on the chair put out ready for him and the children began going up one at a time to receive a gift. Elf Keelie took the gift from a sack and passed it to Santa, who gave it to the child, wishing them a Merry Christmas. When it was Kit’s and Molly’s turn Lucy and Paula took them up, and when they came back Molly whispered in my ear, ‘I think that elf is Keelie.’
‘Really?’ I said, surprised. ‘Well, fancy that. I guess it’s part of the magic of Christmas.’
Sunday was largely spent wrapping Christmas presents. I helped Molly and Kit to wrap theirs and write their card to their parents. Lucy, Paula and Adrian wrapped their presents in their bedrooms, taking turns to use the scissors and sticky tape, and the wrapping paper I’d bought. By the end of the day a mountain of presents had appeared under our Christmas tree. There was even one for Sammy. I took photographs of Molly and Kit sitting in front of the tree to give to Filip. I would take many more photos of them over Christmas and of my family too.
Christmas fell on a Friday this year, but there wouldn’t be any contact on that day as the Family Centre would be closed. I therefore took Molly’s and Kit’s presents for their parents with us to contact on Monday afternoon – the last contact before Christmas. Filip clearly hadn’t been expecting presents and as the children gave him their gifts and Molly said, ‘Happy Christmas, Daddy,’ his eyes filled.
‘Thank you so much,’ he said, and kissed and hugged them both, then looked embarrassed. Taking a few steps to me so the children wouldn’t hear, he said quietly, ‘I hadn’t thought about Christmas shopping with everything that’s been going on. Aneta did it all last year. I didn’t realize until now that this would be the last contact before Christmas. If I go shopping tomorrow can I drop off their presents at your house?’
‘You can drop them off at the social services and I’ll collect them from there,’ I suggested. Aneta and Filip purposely hadn’t been given my contact details. ‘Phone Tess tomorrow and explain. It’s not a problem. I’ve collected presents for children from there before.’
‘OK, thank you,’ he said, relieved. ‘I should have thought about it sooner.’
‘Don’t worry. You’ve had a lot on your mind.’
When I collected Molly and Kit at the end of contact Filip was clearly still thinking about this. ‘I’ll phone Tess first thing in the morning,’ he said to me. ‘I’ll go shopping straight after work. Will you put the children’s presents by their beds so they have them on Christmas morning? That’s what we did last year.’
‘Yes, of course. They’ll have ours too.’
‘Pretend they’re from Father Christmas,’ he said. ‘And take some photos.’
‘Yes, I will.’ I could see he was getting emotional again, so, wishing him a Merry Christmas, we said goodbye and left.
Tuesday was the last day of nursery for Molly before Christmas and she came away with a gift, which we put under the tree. There was no playgroup on Wednesday afternoon. Molly’s excitement built over the next day as Christmas grew nearer and nearer. Kit was caught up in the excitement too, although at his age he wasn’t sure why. It was Thursday morning, Christmas Eve, before Tess telephoned and said that Filip had taken in two large sacksful of Christmas presents for the children and could I collect them. Thankfully Paula and Lucy were at home and stayed with Molly and Kit while I drove to the social services’ offices. Adrian was going straight from work to collect my mother. Once home, I smuggled in the sacks and hid them in my wardrobe with the other bags of presents I had for Molly and Kit, and for Adrian, Lucy and Paula, who hadn’t yet grown out of wanting to wake up and find presents by their beds.
Adrian arrived home with Mum and after dinner we all went to church for the family carol service, where we met friends and neighbours, many of whom Mum remembered from previous years. After the service we chatted over mulled wine and sweet mince pies. It was about nine o’clock by the time we returned home and Kirsty, who’d come with us, left as she was spending Christmas Day with her parents. Adrian was going to her house on the 26th – Boxing Day. We wished her a Merry Christmas and swapped presents.
Molly and Kit were
tired and went off to sleep quite quickly. Paula had given up her bed for my mother and was sharing Lucy’s room. We all went up around eleven o’clock, but I could hear Lucy and Paula laughing and giggling well past midnight. Eventually, worried they might wake Molly and Kit, I went round to their room and told them that if they didn’t go to sleep Father Christmas wouldn’t come. They laughed more loudly than ever but did snuggle down. By 1 a.m. everyone was asleep and I got out of bed and crept from room to room, leaving the sacks of presents by their beds. Six in all, as I had one for my mother, who, like my father, had never lost her childlike enthusiasm for the wonder of Christmas. I think it’s her attitude to life that keeps her young.
It was our second Christmas without Dad, but I felt he was close. He’d been a wonderful father, the best, not only to my brother and me, but to his grandchildren and the children we fostered. He was a sensitive man who valued family life, and it had upset him to learn of the neglect and abuse some children suffered. He always went that extra mile for the children we fostered and I knew that had he still been with us he would have adored Molly and Kit. As I turned over ready for sleep I said quietly, ‘Night, Dad. Love and miss you. Merry Christmas.’
And from somewhere in the calm and serenity of Christmas Eve came his gentle reply, ‘Night, my darling daughter. Sleep tight, and look after those children for me.’
‘I will.’
Chapter Twenty-Five
Aneta
The build-up to Christmas seems to go on for ever, and then suddenly it’s all over and you’re facing a new year. We’d had a wonderful Christmas – just as we’d hoped it would be – and although it was hard work and Molly got a bit overexcited and cross sometimes, my family all helped, so I enjoyed it too. Adrian had Monday, 27th December, off work and after lunch he took Mum home, while I took Molly and Kit to contact. Lucy was at work, but Paula’s college was closed for the week.
Molly and Kit were wearing new clothes that Filip had given them for Christmas. I thought it was sensible of him to have included some clothes as well as toys in their sacks. The children were excited and looking forward to seeing their father again. I signed the Visitors’ Book and we headed towards Rainbow Room. The Christmas decorations were still up, as ours at home were, but somehow after Christmas they never look the same and seem to lose some of their sparkle. I wondered what sort of Christmas Filip had had, and hoped he hadn’t been lonely. I appreciate how isolating the Christmas period can be for those who are by themselves.
Filip was in Rainbow Room with the contact supervisor and seemed to be in good spirits. ‘Hello, my wonderful children!’ he cried. ‘You look very smart.’ Smiling broadly, he spread his arms and Molly and Kit ran to him. ‘The clothes fit perfectly then,’ he remarked to me.
‘Yes, good choice.’
‘I must admit I showed them to Aneta before I wrapped them. She’s got such an eye for knowing if something fits just by looking at it.’
I smiled. ‘Did you have a nice Christmas?’ He seemed very upbeat.
‘Wonderful, thank you. Aneta was allowed home for a few days. I collected her Christmas Eve and took her back this morning.’
‘Mummy’s home?’ Molly asked, picking up on some of what her father had said.
‘She was, precious,’ he replied. ‘She’s in hospital now, but I’m hoping she will be spending more time at home, then you’ll be able to see her again.’
I thought it unwise to tell the children this until it was definite.
‘When? When can I see Mummy?’ Molly asked excitedly.
‘I don’t know yet. I need to talk to Tess. Soon I hope.’
‘Mummy?’ Kit asked, confused, and he looked round as if his mother might appear.
‘I’ll see you later then,’ I said. ‘Have a nice time.’
I knew that any contact between Aneta and the children would need to be approved by Tess and carefully supervised at the Family Centre. Hopefully I would be told in advance so I could prepare the children, I thought as I drove. I wondered if Tess was aware that Aneta had been well enough to go home for Christmas. My question was shortly answered. As I pulled up outside the house my mobile rang and it was Tess.
‘Did you have a nice Christmas?’ she asked.
‘Yes, thank you, did you?’
‘Very nice, although first day back and I’ve hit the ground running. Are Molly and Kit at the Family Centre?’
‘They are. I’ve just dropped them off.’
‘Aneta has requested contact, but don’t tell Molly and Kit. She went home for Christmas and her solicitor has been in touch. I wanted to hear your thoughts. The children have been through a lot. Do they talk about their mother?’
‘Not as much as they used to. Kit says “Mummy” sometimes and Molly occasionally asks where she is. They talk more about their father now.’
‘Kit’s too young to understand what went on, but does Molly know her mother was responsible for making them sick?’
‘I don’t think so. She’s never said anything and I certainly haven’t told them. I doubt Filip has either.’
Tess paused. ‘At this stage in the proceedings, if Aneta is well enough to see her children she has a right to, as their solicitor pointed out. I’ll need to speak to her doctor first. Do you think the children would cope with seeing their mother?’
‘If I’m honest, yes.’
‘Thank you. I’ll let you know what we decide. Nothing will happen until the New Year, though.’
It was nice to be asked my opinion. Foster carers aren’t always. Yet while I thought Molly and Kit could cope with seeing their mother, I didn’t necessarily think it was for the best. The care plan was for the children to remain in long-term care, so any contact after the final court hearing would be drastically reduced. Was it in the children’s best interests to re-establish the bond between them and their mother, only to have it broken again? It happens with looked-after children. But Aneta was their mother and, as their solicitor had told Tess, she had a right to see her children.
When I collected Molly and Kit at the end of contact they were hyped up from being chased around the room by their father in a ‘catch me if you can’ game. They completed another couple of circuits, screaming with excitement, before Filip stopped the game and, picking up their coats, said, ‘Time to go now.’
‘Do we have to?’ Molly moaned.
‘I’m afraid you do,’ Filip said, trying to calm them down so he could persuade them into their coats. ‘We’ll see each other again soon. I promise you it will be more than twice a week.’
‘I want to see you lots!’ Molly cried, stamping her foot.
‘You will,’ Filip said. Again, I thought he really shouldn’t have told her that until he knew for certain more contact would be allowed.
The nursery Molly went to followed term times, so it was closed until after the New Year, unlike the private nursery where Lucy worked, which had just closed for Christmas Day and Boxing Day, as had Adrian’s office. So while Lucy and Adrian went to work each day from Christmas to the New Year, Paula was at home. Having completed her college work, she helped me with Molly and Kit. The children had so many toys from Christmas to play with that keeping them amused was easy and great fun. We also went out each day for a breath of fresh air and to let them run off some energy.
The next contact was on Friday, New Year’s Eve, and that morning a member of staff at the Family Centre telephoned me at 10.30 to say the centre was closing early, so the children’s contact had been brought forward to 12–2 p.m. As the children would miss lunch, I gave them a quick snack before we went and left Paula clearing up. When we arrived at the centre Filip was in reception, not one of the rooms. He was complaining to the receptionist that he should have been given more notice of the change in time, as it had caused him a problem at work. Then to me he said, ‘I’ve got to go back to work after contact to make up the hours.
I won’t be able to collect Aneta for the weekend until much later now.’
I sympathized. I appreciated how disruptive last-minute changes to contact were, but I knew from experience that it happened from time to time for various reasons and often at short notice. I went with Filip and the children into the room, where I left them with the contact supervisor. When I returned Molly, Kit and their father all had their coats on, ready to leave. Filip said a quick goodbye to the children and left ahead of us.
‘Daddy has to go to work,’ Molly told me on the way out, her face serious. ‘He can’t take Mummy home until later.’
‘I know, love, but it will be OK,’ I reassured her.
‘When can I see Mummy?’ she asked.
‘I don’t know yet. Tess will tell us.’
‘Daddy says it will be soon.’
‘It’s for Tess to decide.’
‘Why?’
‘Because she’s your social worker.’
That night, Adrian went to Kirsty’s house to see in the New Year, Paula went to a friend’s house and Lucy went to a party. I saw Molly and Kit into bed and then sat on the sofa with Sammy beside me and watched a film. I stayed up until midnight and saw in the New Year to the chimes of Big Ben on the television. Fireworks began exploding outside, which woke Molly and Kit, and I spent the next hour resettling them. By 1 a.m. it had quietened down and they were asleep again. Adrian and Paula were both sleeping out that night, and Lucy had pre-booked a taxi to bring her home. At 3 a.m. I heard her come in, then heard her footsteps on the stairs and pass my bedroom door as she went to the bathroom. ‘Happy New Year, Mum,’ she called quietly.
‘Happy New Year, love,’ I said equally quietly so as not to wake Kit. ‘Did you have a nice time?’
