by Jack Crosby
“Ha... haha… hahahaha!” Was Michael insane? I was about to find out. “You do realize after the stunts I pulled on Beelzebub and Astaroth that I’m about as welcome there as ice cubes are?”
He flashed a toothy grin. “You are the one being above all others that is feared by most Downstairs. With your powers being close to what they were in the days of old, why can you not undertake this task?”
I knew this wasn’t going to be an optional mission. “If this is what’s required from me, then of course I’ll do it. But, I want a promise on your end.”
“I will do whatever I can.”
I pointed over to the window where Astrid’s head was barely visible. She was doing her best to stay out of sight during her eavesdropping mission, but failed. “You’ll protect that one and my unborn kid.”
He waved to Astrid who returned the motion and disappeared. I figured she was on her way outside. “Your bloodline is going to be a very important figure in the future Death. We will do our best to keep the two of them safe while you are away.”
My bloodline? Go figure it’d take an angel to make it sound so over dramatic. We sat their quietly for a few seconds until the Nyx joined us. She popped down beside me and greeted Michael. “Welcome to our home.”
“I can see why the two of you escaped here, it is most peaceful.”
The only noise was the rolling waves from the ocean. “So you know I gotta go Downstairs, huh?”
“Yeah I heard most of the conversation. I guess that is safer than Tartarus.”
Michael’s look turned into a frown. “Once you acquire the sword, you will have to join the others in Tartarus. I am afraid that your journey Death will be the toughest of them all.”
“Well that just blows then.”
Astrid wasn’t as cordial as I was. “Oh come on! This is fucking ridiculous!”
Knowing he was losing his crowd, “I assure you that this is not how we wanted this to unfold, but with Dante pressing forward, we are at a loss for options. Death, you must understand, we come to you because of our faith in your ability to get the job done.”
I started absentmindedly rubbing Astrid’s very tan and smooth leg. “How will the others know when I’ve acquired the Morningstar Blade? Will they wait outside of Tartarus until I return?”
“Dante is stubborn and is going to go forth with his plan. He does not wish to leave your success up to chance.”
Annoyance broke through Astrid’s voice. “Didn’t you say that the Morningstar Blade was the only weapon that would kill Abaddon?”
“I did Astrid.” He beamed in her direction. “Dante is under the foolish delusions that with enough celestial fire power the demon will succumb to injury.”
“You can’t stop him?”
As the sun began to shine even more, Michael stood up. “My time here has come to an end. You can try to talk him out of this foolish quest and you might succeed where I have failed.” His wings spread out like an eagle’s. “I must make preparations for your journey which you will embark upon at sunset.”
One, two swooshes and feathers and the angel was high in the air, disappearing from view. “I’m starting to think he only has bad news when he arrives.”
“I agree, though he did spare us after our last little escapade and didn’t smite you for getting me pregnant.”
I gave her a hard smack on the ass. “Good for you for seeing the good in everyone!” Her face turned red at both my words and the gesture. “Still, I can’t help but get the feeling this is penance for my actions, sending me Downstairs. Que sara though…”
With nothing left to do outside except stand around like morons, we walked back into the house. Famine was still snoring on the couch, so I left him there. He could get his panties in a wad later about my new mission. I was hungry.
We had a few eggs left and Astrid cracked ‘em open along with her newest invention, fish bacon. The one bad thing about living with a Nyx is their cat-like tendencies. This means an unhealthy interest in all things fish. We had fish burgers, cheese and fish pizza, and now fish bacon. It wasn’t that greatest thing ever, but Almighty bless her for trying.
As I ate my eggs and fish bacon (which surprisingly wasn’t as bad as I assumed it would be), Famine came crashing in. “What is that terrible odor?”
I held up a piece of the bacon stuff. “Fish bacon. Want to give it a shot?”
His face turned green. “I will pass thank you very much. However, if you have any of that coffee drink, I shall gladly take a cup.”
“How the hell do you know about coffee?”
Astrid handed him a cup and he just shrugged. “Conquest brings me back stuff from his odd trip here and there.”
“Of course he does.” I watched with morbid amusement as he drank the hot concoction. “So, not to put a damper on your morning, but Michael just left not too long ago. I won’t be joining you into Tartarus right away.”
He nearly spit out the coffee which would’ve hit me in the face. “What do you mean you will not be joining us? What has the Arch Angel done?”
“Derrick has to go to Hell and retrieve the Morningstar Blade from Lucifer.”
Thank you Astrid for your bluntness. “She’s right. I have to try and get the one weapon that will kill that creature.”
He sat the cup down on the old wooden table. “This is the first I am hearing that a weapon has been made that could kill the creature. Dante told us that it would take a combined effort of all of us to bring him down.”
“Michael said the Almighty himself blessed the blade and that Veronica, his protégé, would have the skill to wield it against Abaddon, with help from us and our brothers.”
“If this is true, then why would we be going to Tartarus before we had such a weapon?”
“Because,” the voice was behind us, “Michael does not want me to waste resources and wants to leave it all to chance. I disagree with their assessment.” Dante was standing at the entrance to our kitchen with Veronica behind him. “The plan goes ahead, minus one Horseman.”
Chapter 4 – Meeting of the Old Ones
“Come on in Dante; please don’t wait to make yourself at home.”
The old angel ignored my comments and did exactly that. Veronica was much more pleasant. “I told him we should knock first.”
“I have no time for pleasantries. Especially with Michael going behind my back and handing out assignments to those I need.” His sourness could kill a room full of puppies and babies. Miserable son of a bitch…
Astrid wasn’t about to be a warm host to him, but she walked over to Veronica. “You should come with me for now as we have much to catch up on.”
The two girls left the tension thick room, leaving me with buzzkills Dante and Famine. Just when it couldn’t get worse, War’s loud voice echoed for miles around outside. “Open up! I know you are home Death!”
From behind, a much lower and reasonable voice cut in. “I don’t think the neighbors need to hear your bellowing dude.”
“Shut it Conquest! Our lazy ass brother likes to sleep and I am not waiting outside all day.”
What the hell was wrong with these morons? “It’s open you loud mouthed idiot.”
The two brothers walked in. War, huge and intimidating as always lumbered in first with beach blonde captain of the football team Conquest right behind him. Both looked on shocked at the fact Famine was already here.
“War, you totally owe my five bucks! I told you he could find his own way here!”
“Piss off Conquest. The little one has not left Eden in centuries, so how should I have known he would be able to find Death?”
The black rider wasn’t amused with our brothers. “In case you forgot, I am sitting right here.”
Neither cared. “Oh War, you’re just jacked because you don’t have five dollars. Don’t worry, I’ll put it on house credit.”
“This was not a fair bet Conquest. Famine favors you more than me. I cannot help it, like Death, he is insecure in his p
hysical abilities compared to mine.”
It was my turn to get annoyed. “Like Famine said, we’re both not even five feet from you jackass!”
He turned and acted like we were the ones mocking him. “Death, once again you left us out to dry. I figured after what went down in Shangri-La, you would have shown more loyalty to your brothers.”
Conquest had the decency to look embarrassed. “Why would he you loud mouth jackass? I can’t even begin to tell you how long we had to hear about all your victories and the way you handled yourself. I was ready to leave Eden myself and find a nice quiet place to go to.”
“What Death does is not of our concern brother.” Famine’s deep voice rumbled even lower the War’s. “He is loyal to us brother and does what is commanded of him.”
“You mean like taking orders from Michael over me?”
“Dante, screw you. I’m tired of listening to all of you bitch and moan about different things.” My anger was rising up and I felt the glow of my celestial fire burning on my hands. Calming myself, “Michael’s right. If getting the Morningstar Blade increases our chances of killing Abaddon, then that’s what I’ll do.”
War dropped the attitude. “You are going after that cursed blade?”
“Yeah I am as it’s the only thing that can actually kill Abaddon. Tonight I’m leaving for Hell, so the four of you, plus Veronica will have to do whatever it is you’re going to do without me for the time being.”
“Listen guys,” Conquest took a seat beside Famine, “if what Death is saying is true, then why are we rushing off to Tartarus? We should wait for him to come back with Lucifer’s sword.”
Dante slammed his fist on to the table. “No, we are not letting a slim chance like this hold us up. Honestly, what are the chances Death can either steal the sword or overpower Lucifer himself?”
It was a valid question and a point that I hadn’t taken much time to go over. “He’ll listen to me. He has no reason to hate me or not go with what I’m saying. He hates Abaddon just as much as everyone else.”
“That he does.”
“Thanks Famine for agreeing with me.”
“However, we should proceed with the idea of setting up a secondary trap if necessary. Plus, we will have to eventually deal with the Wild Hunt. Maybe we can weaken it in calculated strikes.”
Dante smirked at Famine’s words. “We continue as we were. I have even recruited Azrael out of retirement to join us, barring your Nyx returns him the Grasscutter.”
The Japanese sword of legend had been in our bedroom, a token to the memory of Roxanne who conned Azrael out of it. “We can return it, but I think the sword has taken a liking to Astrid.”
If Dante heard my fears, he didn’t say anything. “Three Horsemen and three angels. I do not like this, as I hoped for more, but we will have to do with it what we can.”
“As soon as I get the Morningstar Blade, Michael will get me passage to Tartarus.”
“In the event that Death is successful,” Dante pointed at War, “it will be up to the two of us to come up with coordinated attacks with escape strategies. The last thing we want in Tartarus is to get caught with nowhere to go.”
“The Horsemen will be up for the challenge. Tell that fool Azrael to come with every weapon he can harness.”
“Tell me yourself War you bloody asshole.” Azrael joined in on the fun. “Damnit all Mexico is hot as shit.” The old angel entered announced just like Dante, but I didn’t mind. He was a good guy, way down, like deep deep down.
My kitchen wasn’t that big and it was starting to get crowded. “This is getting bit cramped in here. I think it’s time we went outside and dealt with things.”
“Death is right. I just got here and I can already smell War’s stench. Do you even bath you disgusting pig?”
“You are one to talk you pig! Almighty help me, I am this close to taking you outside and beating the shit out of you!”
I started pushing these useless morons out of my house. One by one they left and made their way down to the beach below. With the last one, Famine, leaving, I shut the door and locked it. I had a headache already and this damn adventure hadn’t even started yet!
Veronica and Astrid exited the bedroom and saw me leaning up against the door. My girl snickered a little bit at me. “Not quite the family reunion you hoped for?”
“Ughh, half of the people here are total assholes and the other half are hypocrites. Good luck Veronica, you’ll need it.”
In Astrid’s hands was the Grasscutter. “I guess I should give this back to that Azrael guy huh?”
“Technically it is his, but the sword has taken to you. I don’t know if it’s possible for it to go back into his possession.”
“He needs another sword like he needs a hole in his head. Keep the blade Astrid and I will tell him I gave it to you under my authority.”
Veronica saved the Nyx, which started this whole mess to begin with, so I wasn’t surprised by her behavior. “Thanks Veronica!”
“If you’re going out there, good luck. I’m spending the rest of the day with my new family.”
I guess she hadn’t gotten to that point yet because Veronica’s face got all suspicious. “What do you mean your new family?”
Oh shit. “I thought she would’ve told you… we’re having a baby.”
Her face went back and forth like she was watching tennis. “You are going to have a baby?”
Astrid nodded happily and then Veronica let out an eardrum shattering squeal. I’m pretty sure that even shut up the guys, who were still bitching outside. “Oh my heavens! Congratulations you two!”
“Thanks.” She grabbed me and Astrid and brought us up into a big hug. “Veronica,” she was choking me, “I can’t really breathe.”
She let go and then laughed. “You do not even need air, so do not give me any of that.” Her admonishment aside, “This is wonderful. Bringing new life into the world is always a good thing.”
“Well I’m glad you think so. I figure some people won’t agree, so we are kinda keeping this on the down low.”
Her silly smile shrunk a little and her tone took a more serious edge. “I understand and will not divulge this information.”
“Thanks, now get out. Those idiots out there need you and I need to ravage that sexy lady beside you before I’m sent downstairs.”
Chapter 5 – Wait a Minute…
I was lying on the bed sweating up a storm. I take pride being in relatively good shape for an immortal being, but I don’t know where she got the energy. Her cat-like eyes were glued to me, as if hoping to coax even more out of me, but I just couldn’t. Not yet anyways…
Fortune favors the lazy because Khloros took that moment to stick his head in the window. “You left me out here with all of these idiots so you could fornicate all afternoon?”
“Sorry buddy.”
“Do not give me that lame ‘sorry buddy’ line. Do you know how insufferable all three of those horses are together?”
Khloros didn’t have the best of relationships with the rest of the Riders’ steeds. Only recently did he reconcile with War’s horse Pyrrha. “Hey, I’m risking life and limb to go get the Morningstar Blade. I think I deserve a few hours of enjoyment before I venture off.”
His pale grey mane bristled as he neighed loudly. “Are you planning on undertaking this trip alone?”
Oh boy, I really didn’t want to have this conversation. “I think you’d stick out a little bit. This is going to be a covert mission.”
Astrid knew it was coming and excused herself to the bathroom. Khloros was breathing so hard that I could see the streams of air coming out of his nose. Like a bomb, he exploded. “You are a completely ignorant, worthless excuse of a Horseman! We are a team, rider and steed and you plan to attempt this on your own?! Have you lost you ever loving mind?”
By this time I was up and over at the window, trying to get him to calm down. “Do you think I want to go alone? Of course not! But I need to stay low
to the ground and be able to hide easily, something that unfortunately you aren’t built for.”
“If you remember our raid on the Mongols, I was able to…”
“And the most important reason is you need to stay here and guard the kid dumbass! I asked Michael, but in the event he gets too caught up in matters of the Upstairs, you are Astrid’s guardian.”
All his righteous indignation went out the window. “You are entrusting me with your most important possession?”
“Of course I am. Who else would I leave to such an important task? We were going to have this conversation before I left, if you gave me a chance.”
Horses can’t get embarrassed, but Khloros was definitely much humbler. “In that case I shall do my best to protect your partner and your spawn.”
Keeping my voice down, “It’s only a matter of time before that bitch Sabrina makes a move against me again. I don’t know if she’d target Astrid, but in case she does, I need to know I got someone here I trust.”
“Beelzebub’s bastard offspring, just the thought of her gives me chills.”
The Grasscutter was leaning in the corner of the bedroom. “Astrid can handle a blade well, but you know how time flows differently in Tartarus. After I get the Morningstar Blade, who knows how long I’ll actually be gone.”
He picked up on this right away. “If the child becomes due while you are gone, what should I do?”
“In town is a nice lady named Renee. Get Astrid to her immediately.” I gave him a pat on the head for good measure.
“I will not let you down.”
“I know you won’t.”
With the horse’s head leaving the window, Astrid returned to the room. “The two of you are friends again?”
“Yeah, he just needed reminding that sometimes duty comes over everything else.”
She sprawled out on the bed. “You mean assigning another being to watch over me? I’m not a child you know.”
I joined her and rested my head against her stomach. “This is true, but because of your affiliation with me, you’re a target.”
“You’re referring to the red haired witch, aren’t you?”
