She could barely stand it today when he and Zac brought home some barbecued ribs for lunch.
“Fooooh,” he exhaled with a gush, letting his arms flop to the side.
He patted with his right arm to find her.
But there was nothing there.
What the hell was going on?
She was always in bed before him, and all this last week she was sound asleep when he came in.
I need sex. I need sex. I need sex.
Being sore is not for sleepy people.
He lifted his head, and his hard-on agreed with a twitch.
Going to sleep when he was in the mood to be on top and thrusting was not fun.
How was he supposed to relax the way he needed to now?
He was tired, dammit. And hornier, dammit.
Where was she?
“Mari?” He sat up and sighed with a grating sound.
Instead of a pretty wife, a cute little Choppy hopped up onto the bed.
“Find her, will ya? I’m tired,” he told his friend, smiling.
His dog only wagged and stared at him.
“Why are you so unhelpful? I feed you. I pet you. I even scoop up your feces. The least you can do is find my lover for me while I get naked.” He pretended to glare at the quiet beast watching him. “Well? Are you gonna do it?”
Choppy only sat there, still as a statue.
“Oh, I see . . . You think you get to take your time to decide? Forget it, then.” He sighed. “You’re not helping, and that’s just plain rude,” he teased and then shoved aside his pal.
Things had to get done sometime in the immediate future, and he would finish this up the way he always did—with him above her and sweating a little, cursing a lot and releasing inside her.
“Oh, Maar-ri!” he sang out.
Nothing.
Then chiiiiiick!
The door to the bathroom locked. But the light was out.
Sniiif, sniiif.
Was that Choppy or Mari? Or was someone with allergies hiding in his bathroom?
“Uuuugh,” he groaned and pushed up off the bed.
Nakedness would have to wait, it seemed, in case there was a bad person on the other side of that door he had to find in the dark and deal with. Clothes would be better for an encounter of that kind.
He grabbed one of Mari’s high-heeled shoes and headed for the door.
All it took was a spiky heel up the nostril, and his assailant would die.
Ice picks were better for that type of thing. He knew that now, but sadly, ice picks lived in the kitchen where the ice resided, and that was just too freaking far away.
He inhaled, squared his shoulders, crouched and then realized he had no way to get inside that door with this shoe in his hand.
So, as quietly as he could, he found the key to the door and with a clumsy click, he unlocked it.
Aw man . . . He might as well announce his intent now that he’d unlocked it so loudly.
“I am a very tall man with a sharp object in-hand. If you don’t tell me who you are and what you want before I open this door, I will be forced to harm you in self-defense since I didn’t invite you into my home, and certainly not into my own personal bathroom where I shower and do other private things!” His palms were sweating, and his breathing picked up.
What if they had Mari in there as a hostage?
Wait . . . Why would they do that? She didn’t own the money. He did.
Well, kind of. He managed it, so that kind of made it his in a way. Maybe that was what this was all about?
“I have money, but you have to earn it by coming out and surrendering,” he shouted, shaking the shoe in his hand at the door.
The door knob turned, and it was opened a crack.
“Whatever it is you’re holding, put it down, sweetheart,” his wife’s voice said through the opening.
“But I . . . You’re unsafe, aren’t you? In the dark—that sounds kind of scary and lonely. I’ll protect you, honey.” He nudged it open with his foot. “I can do that as your man.”
When he entered, she was slumped over the toilet, frowning.
“You’re sick? Why didn’t you tell me? I would’ve helped you. Throwing up is nothing to be ashamed of.” He set the shoe down. “Neither is being trapped in the bathroom by a burglar, you know. You should always tell me about both so I can be here for you to rescue you.”
She flushed the toilet, then put the lid down. With slow movements, she maneuvered herself to sit on top of it and stared up at him with her head still hanging low. “It’s not what you think.”
He turned on the light, approached her and squatted down in front of her.
“Well, I can see you’re alone in here, so you weren’t attacked and held for ransom. And you didn’t turn to your doctor-in-training husband—me—which means you must be virus-free. So, tell me. What is it then? Food poisoning? I knew those ribs were no good. I told Zach”—he shook his head vigorously, holding a hand up—“but he insisted on them. It’s so hard to cook pork properly.” He sighed with a grating sound, and his shoulders rounded forward.
She smiled, but her eyes were watery messes, and her mouth twitched like it was even more unhappy than her eyes.
“What’s going on? Ribs won’t come back to our house if they make you this upset and make you hide in the bathroom,” he promised, stroking her cheek with his right hand.
“I . . . Well, yeah—keep ribs away from me, please—the smell makes me sick right now, but that’s not it.” She blinked and sucked in a tight swallow of air. When she opened her eyes, she looked lost.
She reached out and gripped his shoulder.
“You remember that little girl I thought I killed so long ago?”
“Yeah, of course I do. She was part of your world. She started you on a path you didn’t like. Now you’re better. Did she hate ribs, too?”
She snorted a laugh, but it sounded tiny and kind of afraid. “No, silly man—this isn’t about food. Not really anyway.”
He ran his hand up over her cheekbone and into her hair.
She leaned into it. When his palm drifted back down her face, she nuzzled her nose into the center.
He smiled when she kissed the edge of his hand.
She gripped his wrist to keep his hand there.
“Are you in the mood for sex? ‘Cause I am, and you’re kissing me, sweetie,” he said, his voice husky and deep. “And it’s okay to do it in the bathroom. That’s not a problem for me at all. The germs in here can be safely washed off in the shower afterward without anyone falling ill.”
Something stirred inside him, but she still looked kind of off.
“Germs can wait. I dreamed about her tonight.”
“Oh. Was it a good dream?” He shifted toward her. She might need to lean into him.
“It depends. There were two Megans in my dream. One was her, and the other was another one . . .”
A number passed through his head. Two.
Two was what they were, except when he was inside her—then they felt like one.
He loved that feeling. That was the best kind of two-shift-to-one he knew about.
His dick stirred a little bit in his pants. His pants that wanted to be removed really badly right now.
“Were they friends?” He swallowed and waited.
She sank her teeth for a moment into the tip of her tongue, let go and paused. Her expression went blank. “One was her, and the other was someone you’ll know soon enough. And I hope you like her as much as I do.” She dropped a hand and placed it over her belly. “It’s our baby, Adam. I’m pregnant.”
“You’re . . . This is a baby I made with you?” He popped up to standing over her.
Her eyes traced up his body to his eyes. “Yes, honey. We made this baby together, and I already feel convinced it’s a girl. The dream told me it was, and her name would be Megan.”
“I have many male moments with you where I know I’m strong, and your husband and I make you feel woman
ly. This is the best one yet!” He gripped her by the arms and pulled her to him.
She rested her head on his shoulder and sighed. “This doesn’t scare you at all?”
“No! Why would it? I have you. I have a baby to be. I still get to make love to you, and pregnant women get really horny, I’ve been told.” He hugged her tight—his erection brushing up against her belly. Her little baby belly!
Yes! This was perfect.
“Someone’s excited,” she said, giggling into his neck and then placing a delicate kiss there.
He hummed. “I was already excited to have you, but now even more so! My penis did what it was meant to do. It was good to us both. You should reward it, sweetheart.” He pulled back enough so she could look him in the eye. His whole body lit up when she smiled big.
“Oh, I should, huh?” She cupped his thigh, really close to where he was hard and aching for her.
“Mmhmm. It would be the best way to say thank you for giving you a gift like this. A baby is worth a lot of money in some places—but here I gave it to you for free. Wasn’t that a great idea? Free is always good.” He lifted her up in his arms, swinging her legs back and forth.
“That’s true, and I don’t have money to buy a baby. I’m a lucky woman.” She got him to let go so her feet were back on the ground. A moment later, she rubbed noses while beaming at him. “How did I get so lucky?”
“You married me. That’s a lot of good luck, because I know numbers—and numbers are half of the luck people experience.” His eyebrows did a bounce on his forehead. He always liked the way they did that to her.
She laughed. “So, let me get this straight—I married you. You’re good luck. I get to sleep with you each night, snuggled in your arms after having incredible sex, and now I get an adorable baby, too?”
He nodded. That was hard to do when smiling so big. It almost kind of strained his jaw to do it, and he was always trying to make sure all of his body was in good shape and in correct working order. “Yep. That’s how it goes. You’re so smart.”
She laughed harder. “Does the lucky part include morning sickness and puking at the worst times possible? I knew you would be in here soon, and this was not how I wanted to tell you.”
He jostled her in his arms. “You tell me however it works. That’s the best way, even if it’s in a bathroom. And I’ll accept it because I love you more than I can think about. I don’t even hardly think about donuts when I’m with you now. That’s how much you’ve invaded my mind and my taste buds, because you’re so much more delicious than anything sugary and sweet. You’re my honey.”
She went a little limp for a moment and then looked very sick. “Hold on . . .” She braced herself in his arms, making him stop moving her around so much.
“Oh . . . Sorry.”
“It’s fine.” She swallowed hard, then pointed at the counter.
There was a little gift wrapped box there with a pink silk bow.
“My birthday’s not for two more months,” he told her.
“I know. This is a different kind of gift. The free kind, which as you’ve already said—is always good. And I like giving you things that I find special.” She motioned with her head to the box. “Plus, you and your dick earned it, remember?”
“Yes, we both did. We’re good to you.” He let go with one hand, reached his long arm out and picked up the box. With his teeth, he managed to pull the bow off without harming it. He learned that one from his furry friend, Choppy.
She was very good at unwrapping stuff and keeping her teeth from piercing whatever it was she was messing with. It must have been her way of making sure she didn’t get blamed for stuff she did. His dog was peculiar that way. Another reason he loved his pet so much. He learned from her all the time.
“Is this something I can eat? ‘Cause I should probably eat something since talking about ribs made me hungry.”
“Better than food. Open it, then you can go eat.” Her head wobbled a little as she smirked.
“Okay.” A tie maybe. He needed one of those. And he’d need to get a better job now that their family was going to grow.
He flipped the top off the small box and looked inside.
There was a positive pregnancy test wrapped in saran wrap. Did she do that so he didn’t have to worry about pee germs?
He didn’t care about that right now. Or donuts. He wasn’t thinking about those at all.
He cared that she was ripe because of him and her body accepted his numberlicious seed. Obviously, he had plenty of them, so they could get to where they needed to go. Good for them. They were smart like him—traveling in groups and letting the best sperm win.
“I like that the plus sign is so bright. That seems like you’ve got good hormones.” He picked it up and examined it closer. “When did you take this?”
“A week ago,” she said, her eyes crinkling at the edges and then she almost kind of ducked.
“Is there a reason you’re worried?” He glanced at her for a moment.
She exhaled. “If I was you, I’d be upset that my partner waited so long to tell me.”
“But I know you—and I know you have a good reason. So tell me, and there will be no anger.” He set the gift down on the counter. At least with his free gift he gave her, he didn’t have to keep from telling her about it. He told her each night when he was coming inside her, so she knew her gift would be traveling through her body soon.
She rolled her head back like she was preparing to tell him something in return. When she brought her head back up, she said with a furrowed brow, “I didn’t know how I felt about it. I figured you might be happy since you’ve wanted this for a while, but I still wonder if I’m fit to be a parent.”
“You’re clean, sweetheart. You’ve been off drugs for so long now, why are you concerned?” He caressed her shoulders.
“Just because I’ve kept myself clean for a long time now, doesn’t mean I don’t still have urges. And for the last month that I’ve been pregnant, I’ve had urges like crazy to smoke, drink—light up anything that will get me high. I’m miserable and mopey a lot lately, and I feel so out of control emotionally some days, I wonder what I’m doing wrong.”
“Hormones,” he explained.
“I know.” She stared in his eyes. “I know that’s what this is, but I feel like shit for even wanting those things with a little innocent child growing inside me.”
“Wait a minute . . .” He bent his knees to get closer to her eyes, so he could see what she meant. “This sounds like you’ve known for a lot longer than before you took this test a week ago.”
“I pretty much knew right away.” She tried to smile, but it turned into a guilty looking grimace a second later.
“How? How could you know?” Wow, she was smarter than he would ever be if she could tell what his sperm did inside her and knew all about their travels to make their baby.
“I knew because I was suddenly cramping up a ton. I never do that. Or haven’t in a few years. Actually, ever since I lost weight and got back down to a healthy level. Plus, I was tired all the time. My breasts felt like you had gnawed on them non-stop all night long, so yeah—I knew something was wrong. And we were trying to get pregnant, so it seemed pretty clear to me I was.” She shrugged.
“Well, I . . . Damn. This makes me want to make another baby with you right away. Maybe this time I’ll notice you feeling all that stuff, and I’ll know before you have to tell me.” He pushed her hair off her shoulders and peeled her out of her shirt. “I can celebrate with a fizzy drink. That would start things off right.”
She cocked her head. “In the bathroom? Right now?”
“Right whenever I say . . . And I say I want to see for myself how our baby feels inside you. Your body will tell me.” He cupped her breasts right away and kissed down the right side of her neck. “It’s soft inside your womb. I think the baby likes it in there. I know—because when I’m inside you, it all feels so silky, warm, soft and nice. It’s like a bed with vel
vety sheets and a bath all in one.”
“I trust your description.” She chuckled.
“Come here,” he said, pulling her in closer. He tugged at her pajama pants.
“Why? You in a hurry or somethin’?” Her voice deepened.
“Yes, I am. This baby is changing already. I need to know what it’s like right now.” He dropped to his knees, dragged her pants off, then planted kisses along her belly, down her pubic bone and to where she tasted best.
“See if my tongue matches how warm and soft you are. Tell me, okay?” He looked up at her.
She nodded and looked greedy for more. Her hands drifted through his hair.
“Tell me right now as I move my tongue over your slick parts.” He used his hands to spread her open a little bit. His tongue delved inside, happy to figure out if her taste was different because it had baby flavor mixed in.
It did. She was tangier somehow, with a richer, deeper flavor. How had he not noticed this as soon as she conceived? She smelled different, too. Saltier with a stronger arousal scent. “Wow. That’s nice,” he said, burying his face between her legs. The aroma was heavenly.
“It’s definitely nice what you’re doing to me right now,” she said in return.
Her legs spread wider.
His tongue moved back further, reaching up inside, wanting to explore the path his ejaculate took.
“Tell me,” he growled when he took a breath. “Warm as you? Soft? Softer?”
“Not as wet as me, and I’m warmer, but you’re so soft with your tongue, I can barely breathe.” She leaned into him a little bit.
“Tell me more,” he said when he took another breath. “Only you can share this with me. I have to know.”
“What should I tell you? That you make me crazy with your touch? I get chills all over while my body temperature raises? That you make my body curl up and then explode with pleasure when you make these hungry sounds when you’re pleasuring me? You know I can barely stand here right now. My legs are unsteady. I want to be on the floor so I can absorb all you do to me.” She gripped the counter edge behind her.
“Tell me you’re gonna come all over my face, and I’ll forgive you for not telling me all these weeks that I gave you a little girl.” He nibbled at her inner thigh.
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