by S. L. Scott
I throw my arms around her. I can’t argue with her. Not over this. “I love you, Mom.”
“I love you, too.” And this is why I’m here. There is no better place to find solace and comfort than in my mom’s arms. Her embrace is comforting. And right now? Needed. “Let’s go celebrate life.”
“Okay.” We enter the reception, the celebration already in full swing. I smile because the room is full of love, full of life, full of happiness and is infectious. “Should we say hi to Katherine?”
“Go on without me. I’m going to talk to her mother, and let her know we’re here. You go mingle and enjoy.”
She walks off and I look for the bar. I need liquid courage to face friends from high school. Lifting up on my toes, I see it across the room. Keeping my head down, trying to blend in with the Collier family and friends, I take the long route, walking on the outskirts of the tables and far from the dance floor.
“Well, if it isn’t Singer Davis.”
Turning toward my name, I see the last person I thought I’d ever see again, but my performance is Oscar worthy. “Pagely Whitehead. I did not expect to see you again . . . I mean here.” Okay, so maybe not Oscar worthy.
“Katherine and I dated in school. It didn’t last long, but we kept in touch, and our parents are friends.”
“Wow, this city is smaller than I thought.” I find my knuckles planted on my hips as I attempt the correct the worst smile ever. One positive, he doesn’t smell anymore, or I can’t smell him from here.
“I heard about Melanie. Anyway, I thought you two were going to do big things in the Big Apple.” He chuckles but I hear the hostility in his tone. “She was always . . . a big talker about dreams. A lot like you. Always dreaming for a life better than ours. So yeah, sorry she’s dead. Yep.”
His words are cruel, and I’m defensive. So when he pops that last P, I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from going off on him. He doesn’t owe her anything. They weren’t friends. Melanie was popular in school. She wasn’t a mean girl, but she kept her circle tight. Really, just the two of us.
But he does owe me respect when it comes to my friend. “I get that she rejected your come-ons in high school. I get that you feel big and mighty coming all the way back from Denver to hang out with the little people. I get that you want to hurt me like maybe Melanie, or myself, hurt you because we didn’t want to go out with you. I get it. You’re bitter. You’re looking to flaunt your peacock feathers and show us that it’s our loss. I get it. But here’s the truth, Pagely. You don’t have to put on a production. My best friend was murdered, and I had to see her lifeless body carried away.” I stop and debate whether I should go on. Yes, I should because he started this, but I want to finish it. “You win. I’m nothing in your eyes but a failure. I never got my dream job in New York. We could barely afford our rent. I failed in all ways, and here I am back home with nothing to show for the last three years of my life, not even my best friend. So you win, Pagely.”
I lost Melanie. I lost Ethan when I walked away.
I suck in a breath while staring at his souring face then add, “I’m barely hanging on right now. I just want to forget that I failed her parents, my parents, myself, and apparently you. Just tonight. Because tomorrow I’ll be stuck here in reality, and you will be off doing, oh, I don’t know”—I shrug—“accounting or something?”
“I didn’t mean—”
“You did. You did mean. You intended to put me in my place, and you have. It’s all good, though. I’m glad your dreams have come true. I’m not giving up on mine, but I will mourn the death of my friend unapologetically for as long as I want. So if you’ll excuse me, there’s a bottle of vodka with my name on it.”
I leave him standing there, yet guilt has already begun creeping in. I shouldn’t feel bad, but I just add it to the tally and step up to the bar. “Vodka soda. Make it a double.” I should look for Katherine and give her my best wishes, maybe apologize for crashing her reception, but after seeing my past come back to haunt me and rub my nose in my failures, this drink is badly needed.
The bartender sets it in front of me and says, “That will be twelve dollars.”
“Shoot. I’m sorry. I thought it was an open bar.” Figures. “I’ll be right back.”
“I’ll take care of her drink. Keep the change.”
A twenty is exchanged over my shoulder. I don’t turn. I can’t. I know that voice. That watch. That hand. The musky ocean cologne. The feel of his gaze so real that I swear his arms are wrapped around me.
I know the man.
Ethan.
Tears didn’t fall today. I felt accomplished that I held them back, but knowing he’s behind me, they fill my eyes. I turn and am in his arms—strong arms that feel like home. My head is tucked against his chest, my arms around him, squeezing him tight. There’s no space between us, no room for words quite yet. My heart bangs against the prison of my ribs, trying to escape into his.
His hands rub my back as a kiss is placed on the top of my head. I look right into the bright greens I first fell in love with, that happy-go-lucky smile that’s not New York, but all Texas—charming and laid-back. Ethan from last year seems to have returned, as though he’s comfortable in his own body again. He looks good. So good. Yet here I am . . . a mess.
“Hey baby.”
Damn my traitorous cheeks as they heat under his gaze.
Damn this smile that can’t hide when I see his.
Damn my arms as they cling to the front of his shirt pulling him closer.
Damn these lips for seeking out his.
Damn me.
Damn him.
But since we’re damned already . . .
Our bodies come together.
No more almosts.
Just definites.
Our lips meet in a long-lost, star-crossed-lovers embrace.
I’ve missed this.
I’ve missed him.
We begin to sway, the world fading away. It’s just us. With my heart tied in knots over this man, I look into those eyes that see all of me: the happy, the sad, the weak, the strong, the lonely, the needy. He came for me. He let me go but has come here for me. Surely it’s not to say goodbye or have that final kiss we missed. Does he still love me? I have replayed his words over and over again. “We need to be realistic. You’re in danger because someone wants to get to me. It’s working. They’re getting to me.” The man standing here doesn’t seem to be the same as the desolate one who couldn’t see a way forward for us. Who believed that we were better apart. The man in front of me seems lighter, less . . . restrained.
The man in front of me loves me. It’s in his eyes. And for the first time in a nearly two months, I want to cry in joy.
“I heard what you said back there,” he says.
“To the bartender?”
“No,” he replies, shaking his head. “To Pagely.”
“Oh. That.”
“Yeah, that.”
“He’s an ass.”
“You’re the bravest person I’ve ever known.”
My mouth slacks. “How am I brave when I feel so weak?”
“You’re finally putting yourself and your needs first. You’re also right. You don’t owe him or anyone else anything.” Lifting my chin, I see his smile. “Want me to kick his ass out back?”
“As much as that might be very satisfying to watch, it won’t bring Melanie back.”
“No, but the suggestion was worth seeing you smile again.”
He’s the man who sees through me and knows I love him deeply. Our fingers entwine, and with my body pressed to his I ask, “Why are you here?”
“Because I don’t want to live without you.”
37
Singer
“Don’t make me cry, Ethan.”
His hands are on my waist, mine under his jacket, wrapped around his middle. “Even if they’re happy tears?”
“I don’t want to cry anymore.”
“I never want to see you cry sad
tears again. What can I do to make you happy?”
Leaning my head on his chest, I listen to his heart beating and savor his scent. “You’re doing it.”
“That was easy,” he replies, cocooning me.
“I never said I was hard.”
“What if I am?”
Popping back, my eyes are wide. “Wow, zero to a hundred just like that, huh?”
He shrugs. “Want to dance?”
“Thought you’d never ask.”
Leading me to the dance floor, he spins me out, making me laugh. When he whips me back to him, I’m caught in how much I feel for him, how much I missed him. “You came all the way to Boulder just to dance with me?”
He stops in the middle of the dance floor and cups my face. “No, I came for so much more, Singer.” Our lips meet again in want and need, in equal fervor as it deepens. When the clapping begins, we pause. Our eyes open, our lips still attached. As the applause grows, I duck my head, hiding in his arms. He eats up the attention. “Thank you. Thanks.”
I roll my eyes and grab his hand. “Come on. Let’s get out of here.” We pass the bride and groom who are clapping and smiling along with everyone else. As we stride by, I say, “You look beautiful. Congratulations on the nuptials.”
“Congrats to you.” She’s eyeing Ethan. Before I leave, she adds, “Melanie will be missed.”
“She will be,” I reply, and for the first time, I don’t cry when thinking about her. Because in this moment something becomes very clear. Many will miss her vivacious and outgoing self. It makes me sad, but it also reinforces how incredibly fortunate I have been. I hold many, many wonderful memories in my heart. My best friend, my sister, my candy-loving goof. We were all lucky to know her, to have her as part of our lives.
Ethan’s arm is around my waist as we walk toward the door. My mom is with Katherine’s, a soft smile on her face. I pull Ethan to a stop and go to her. “Mom, this is Ethan Everest. Ethan, my mother, Nance.”
My mom hugs him. “I’ve heard so much about you.”
“It’s nice to meet you.”
When they step back, she pinches my chin lightly. “It’s good to see that smile again.” Looking to Ethan, she says, “Take care of her. She has a lot of people who love her.”
This is a point where our happy bubble could burst. But it doesn’t. He says, “I will, ma’am. I promise. I’ll protect her with my life.”
“Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.” Turning to me, she asks, “Should we expect you home tonight?”
I glance to Ethan. “I could lie.”
“You don’t have to,” she says. “You’re not a little girl anymore.”
Ethan’s hand is on my shoulder, giving me a gentle squeeze as I say, “I’ll see you in the morning.”
“I love you, Sing.”
Hugging her, I tell her because we should always tell the ones we love how we feel. We may not get another chance. “I love you, too.”
We leave the reception we crashed, running to the parking lot. I stop outside the hotel doors and laugh. “My mom drove.”
A black SUV pulls up. “I’ve got us covered.”
He opens the door and I climb inside. Lars is behind the wheel, another wonderful surprise. “Good to see you, Ms. Davis.”
Now I really start laughing. “I should have known.” The door is closed and Ethan pulls the seatbelt over me and buckles me in. I have a feeling safety will always be a priority with him. “If Aaron were here, the whole gang would be back together.”
Ethan says, “He wanted to come. He tried. It was almost sad leaving him behind, but I gave him free rein of the penthouse, so he wasn’t too upset.”
Lars asks, “Where can I take you?”
I look to Ethan who is looking at me. He asks, “Where do you want to go?”
“Anywhere I can be alone with you.”
“Let’s go back to the suite.”
It’s dark inside the vehicle, but there’s enough light to see Ethan, his straight nose and full lips, the way the shadow cuts under his jaw, and the Adam’s apple that sticks out just enough to tempt me into kissing it.
I do.
Unlocking my seatbelt, I maneuver onto his lap. I kiss his neck because I can, and I never thought I would get to again. His fingers run into my hair, and he tilts my head back and kisses me. He’s not careful or gentle. He kisses me with all the pent-up passion from the last forty-five days apart.
Losing track of time and distance, the SUV comes to a stop and Lars gets out. Ethan doesn’t rush his words. He looks at me, and says, “I’ve missed you, Singer Davis.”
“I’ve missed you. So much, Ethan Everest.”
Just inside the lobby, I look up. “I’ve always dreamed of staying at the St. Julien.”
“Glad to make that dream come true. Come on. I want you naked in a bath in the next ten minutes.”
A blonde, too pretty for my liking and ogling Ethan like he’s naked, greets him, “Good evening, Mr. Everest. Can I send anything up to make your stay more comfortable?”
“I have everything I need,” he says, lifting my hand subtly as we walk. “Thank you.”
“It’s always going to be like that, isn’t it?”
We reach the elevators and while waiting, he asks, “Like what?”
“Women hitting on you right in front me.”
“Women that want me for my money don’t interest me.”
Nudging him in the ribs with my elbow, I whisper, “Although the money attracts women, I have a feeling you didn’t do too bad before you had it.”
Smirking, he winks at me. “You might be right.” The doors open, and he grabs me from behind and lifts me into the elevator. After pushing the button, he adds, “But I only have eyes for you.”
Reaching around, I playfully smack the side of his leg. “Feels like you have more than eyes for me, hot stuff.”
His hands work their way up the sides of my ribs, and I hold my breath momentarily. He says, “I like this hot-stuff business.”
Turning around in his arms, I reach up and rest mine around his neck. “I like you.”
The elevator dings, and he glances up as the doors open. “I more than like you, Singer. Let me show how much more.”
With my hand wrapped in his, we walk down the hall, and he unlocks the door. We walk into the suite, and I go straight to the glass doors that lead to a large balcony. “Wow, this is an amazing view.”
“You’re telling me.”
When I look back, he’s looking at me with that smile that gets me every damn time. I go to him, and he meets me halfway. “What are we doing, Ethan?”
“Falling in love.”
“I feel like we’ve been here before.”
“Let’s do it right this time.” He kisses me. And kisses me. Kisses me until I’m weak in the knees and holding his arms so I don’t become a puddle of mush at his feet.
It doesn’t take long before our clothes are shed, our bodies are intimately reunited, and we’re flying high on each other. My thoughts blur as my body takes over, our connection carnal, our desire raw and deep. I fall to the side in a bundle of satiated fireworks, every nerve tingling as the sparks of fire flutter out.
He rolls to his side and is watching me as my eyes open. I reach over and touch his cheek. “How was it for you?”
Smiling, he replies, “You don’t ever have to ask. It’s incredible every time with you.”
“You don’t have to woo me, Mr. Everest.”
“What if I want to, Ms. Davis?”
“Well then, by all means, go right ahead. Woo away.”
Taking my hand in his, he kisses my fingertips. “Will you marry me?”
My neck twinges from the hard double take. “Ethan?”
“It’s fast.” He kisses the palm of my hand. “I know, but I don’t need more time to know I don’t want to be without you again.”
Not able to find the words, I nod like a crazy person. Yes. Yes. But can we? “Ethan?” I repeat, still stunn
ed.
“Aaron made me see. My life has no meaning without you. I settled the company case. I won against my ex-girlfriend. I can’t take away the pain caused by what happened, but we can try to heal together. I don’t just miss you, Singer. I need you.” Stealing a kiss, he says, “I don’t care about anything else unless you are there to share it. The money. The companies. The stuff. None of it matters. People matter. And maybe it took this tragedy to realize it, but I don’t want to hide behind timelines established by society. I feel everything for you. You make me feel alive. We have one life guaranteed, and I want to spend mine with you. Marry me, Singer.”
Wiping my eyes, I sniffle and then laugh. “You promised me you wouldn’t make me cry.”
“No,” he replies, smiling and kissing one of my tears away. “I promised I would never make you cry sad tears.”
“I love you too much to let you go again.”
He sits up excitedly, the bed bouncing from the action. “Is that a yes?”
Dragging him down to me, I kiss him this time and whisper against his lips, “That’s a yes.”
* * *
Ethan’s still in the shower when room service knocks on the door with our dinner. I throw a plush white robe on and rush into the living room, but I grab my chest when I see Lars sitting on the couch. “Good Lord, you gave me a heart attack.”
“Sorry,” he says, getting up to answer the door. “Two-room suite. I’m in that bedroom, but I won’t disturb you.”
With my heart still pounding, I say, “I guess that’s smart you’re staying there.”
“Safety measure.”
“Yeah, I guess that’s necessary.”
The knock echoes in the room again. He says, “I think it would be safer if you wait in the bedroom.”
I have a feeling I’m going to hear that a lot more from now on. He’s right, so I go and shut the door behind me, making my way to the bathroom. Ethan is drying off, and I go to the counter to lean against it. “You didn’t tell me Lars was staying with us.”
