by Donna Alward
Amber leaned back a little to look into her father’s face and Quinn winced as she touched a spot on his forearm. “Daddy, are you going to die like Mommy?”
Duke had returned to the kitchen, but all three of them now had to turn away so Amber couldn’t see their faces. Carrie gave a little sniff and Duke cleared his throat. And more than ever, Lacey understood a little better why Quinn could be so crotchety. He’d had a really rough go. Far worse than Lacey.
“No, honey, I’m not going to die. I just have some boo-boos on my arms. I promise they’re going to get better and I’ll be just fine.”
“I love you, Daddy.”
Oh, crap. Lacey couldn’t take much more of this. She put down the bowl that was in her hands and slipped off to the bathroom to blow her nose. Inside the small bath, she took a few deep breaths. She’d been feeling so sorry for herself, so resentful. She couldn’t have children. She’d lost her job, she’d moved back here. But she had a roof over her head. Family. She even suspected she could end up with a few friends—like her new sister-in-law, Carrie, and Kailey, and even Quinn, in a roundabout way. There were so many things in her life that were blessings. Maybe it was time she started appreciating them.
When she returned to the kitchen, Amber was putting dinner rolls on a plate and Quinn was sitting down, looking exhausted. Lacey could still smell the tinge of smoke on his clothing when she put a bowl of vegetables on the table beside him. All their things, she realized. Even if they weren’t destroyed, they’d smell of smoke. Perhaps have water damage. She was doubly glad she’d picked up a few items for Amber.
Kailey came in on a gust of winter air and joined the party, bringing some much-needed high spirits. By the end of the meal, Amber was talking about the Valentine’s box they’d made and the upcoming party in the classroom the following week. Lacey put Amber to work running the beaters for the whipping cream and they sat back and enjoyed the upside-down cake and coffee. Quinn took a bottle out of his pocket and shook a pill into his hand. Lacey got up and filled a glass half-full of water and handed it to him. “It hurts a lot, huh?” she asked in an undertone.
“Like the devil,” he replied, wincing.
“I’m so sorry, Quinn.” Before she moved away she put her hand on his shoulder and squeezed. Her fingers were sliding away when he reached up and grabbed her hand.
“Thank you. For all you did today. I can never repay you.”
“No worries.” She pulled her hand away, not wanting him to know how much the simple touch affected her.
“I mean it, Lacey. We had a few moments of upset, but she’s taking it well. She feels safe here. Safe with you.”
“I’m glad,” she responded. “I know how important she is to you, Quinn. She’s a great kid and you’re a fine father.”
It didn’t even hurt to say, except perhaps in a bittersweet way. Her heart went out to both of them. The way anyone’s would, she reasoned with herself.
Too bad she didn’t quite believe it.
Chapter Five
Kailey went home and Carrie and Lacey tackled the dishes while Quinn and Duke got down to business.
“You’ll stay here,” Duke announced. “You can’t go home until everything’s been fixed up right. We’ll contact the insurance company first thing in the morning. Hopefully it won’t take too long. In the meantime, you and Amber are welcome to stay here. Right, Lacey?”
She didn’t know why she hadn’t thought of this. She’d assumed maybe they’d spend the night here tonight; it was why she’d bought Amber the pajamas after all. But move in? They’d be...roommates.
When she didn’t answer, the silence grew awkward. “Hey,” Quinn said into the quiet, “don’t worry about it. I have options.”
“What options?” Duke persisted.
“It’s fine,” Lacey agreed, even though she was far from comfortable with the idea. Having the 8:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m. rule was one thing. Having Quinn here 24/7 was quite another. She liked her privacy. Liked her freedom. She really wasn’t in the market for a roommate. Plus, she was trying to say the right thing in the middle of being blindsided.
Except Quinn had just temporarily lost his home. This was Duke’s place and he’d offered it to Lacey when she needed it. Why shouldn’t he offer it to his manager and friend in his time of need as well?
“The Rogers kid is right on this road,” Duke insisted. “I bet Amber can catch a ride with them in the mornings and still go to day care in the afternoons. Come on, man.” He lowered his voice. “You know she’s comfortable here. It would be less of an adjustment for her, you know?”
Lacey nodded, even though she had misgivings. “It’s true, Quinn. There’s lots of room here. And it’s about what’s best for Amber.”
Maybe he wouldn’t need this place for long. Or maybe one of her interviews would work out and she would be able to get out and get her own place.
“I hate imposing.”
“It’s not imposing,” Carrie insisted. “If anyone else were in this situation, you’d do what you could to help and you know it.”
“I don’t even have anything for tonight.” He sighed heavily. “I never even thought. All of Amber’s stuff is at the house. And it is all probably smoke-damaged.” He closed his eyes wearily.
“I’ve got spare toothbrushes at the bunkhouse. I’ll bring them up,” Carrie offered. “And you’re close to the same size as Duke. I’ll get you a change of clothes, and you can throw those ones in the washer.”
“I bought Amber some stuff on impulse today,” Lacey admitted. “Just in case she needed emergency clothes. I hope I got the right size. There are pajamas for tonight and an outfit for tomorrow. When she changes for bed, I’ll wash up her clothes, too. I’ll just throw some of mine in with them.”
Quinn looked as if he’d aged ten years. “I don’t know what to say. Thank you all. So much.”
“As Carrie said, you’d do the same for any of us.” Duke put his hand on Quinn’s shoulder. “I’ll go grab you a change of clothes.”
“And I’ll send up some toiletries. We’ll worry about the rest tomorrow,” Carrie said.
When they were gone, that just left Quinn and Lacey, and a tired-out Amber sprawled on the sofa with a book from her backpack.
Quinn sighed, got up from the table, went into the living room and sat beside her.
“So.” He patted her leg. “I’m afraid we can’t go home tonight, sweetheart.”
Amber looked up. “But it’s my bedtime soon.”
Quinn swallowed several times and Lacey understood. The day was catching up to him and he was struggling to hold it together.
“What your dad means is that everyone is really tired and we were wondering if you’d like to have a sleepover here tonight.” Lacey went closer and knelt by the sofa.
“On a school night?” The way she said it made it sound like the worst, most wonderful transgression.
“Yes, on a school night. I even picked out a pair of jammies for you at the store today. If you want, you can have a bath in my tub and use my bubble bath.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really.”
Suddenly Amber frowned. “But I don’t gots any underwear.”
Quinn jumped into the conversation again. “What about the secret emergency pair in the pocket of your backpack?”
Amber’s eyes lit up. “Oh, yeah!”
“So what do you think? Should we run you a bath?”
Amber nodded so quickly her ponytail bobbed up and down. “Bubbles! I love bubbles!”
She was off like a shot, running up the stairs and into the bathroom. Lacey treated Quinn to a sideways grin. “Did we ever have that much energy as kids?”
“We must have, though I don’t remember.”
He closed his eyes and she realized he must be ex
hausted. “You rest for a bit. I’ll look after Amber.”
“You’re sure?”
“Positive.”
He didn’t even argue. Just let out a long sigh and kept his eyes closed. And that was what really worried Lacey. No smart remark, no protest...he was just letting her call the shots. It was so not like him that she guessed he was hurting more than he let on.
Amber loved the bubbles and after she’d washed her hair with Lacey’s shampoo, Lacey wrapped her in an oversize towel and reached for the pajamas. They were light purple with pink and blue and yellow butterflies all over them and Amber was delighted, her chatter still going as she stepped into clean underwear and the bottoms. There was a brief reprieve as they pulled the top over her head but then she was off again, babbling about how tomorrow they’d have to go get her things from the house and get her teddy bears and toys. Lacey just let her go, because she didn’t want to make any promises she might not be able to keep. She had no idea what sort of state the house was in.
Once the bath was over, though, it seemed Amber’s insecurities returned. Carrie and Duke popped in briefly with the promised items but disappeared again. When Quinn announced it was time for Amber to go to bed, her eyes grew troubled and her face fell. “But Daddy, I don’t want to go to bed yet.”
“You need your rest for school tomorrow, pumpkin.”
“But I want to go get my clothes and toys tomorrow.”
Quinn’s face tightened. “Honey, I’m not sure how that’s going to work yet.”
Tears swam in her eyes. “But I want my stuff! I can’t sleep without Mary!”
Quinn sighed. “It’s just a teddy bear, Amber.”
“She’s not! She’s my favorite bear! I sleep with her every night!”
A teddy bear named Mary. Was it a coincidence that Amber’s mom’s name had been Marie? If Lacey’s heart was aching right now, what must Quinn be going through?
“Would you like to borrow my teddy bear?” Lacey asked, heat blooming in her cheeks. She avoided looking at Quinn. A grown woman with a stuffed animal. She suspected he’d have some choice words about that.
“You have a bear?”
Lacey nodded. She wasn’t even sure why she kept the damn thing. It was too hard to let go completely, she supposed. The soft brown bear with the red ribbon was something Carter had bought her when they’d first decided to try having a baby. They’d planned on giving it to their son or daughter as a first stuffed animal. As the months went on, she’d put the bear in the back of the closet. When everything had fallen apart, she probably should have gotten rid of it, but she somehow couldn’t stand the thought of letting it go.
Amber might as well have it. At least it would be loved and not...well, not reminding Lacey of something that would never come to pass.
“I do. And you’re welcome to have it.”
Amber considered for a moment, and then went over to Quinn and crawled up beside him. “Daddy? Do you think Mary will be okay at home alone? I mean, won’t she be scared sleeping all by herself?”
The tension eased in Quinn’s face. “Honey, you know Mary has all sorts of stuffed animal friends keeping her company on your bed. She’ll be fine.”
“It’s scary sleeping alone, Daddy.”
Lacey saw him swallow. “Would you like to bunk with me tonight?”
The still-damp curls bobbed as she nodded. “Uh-huh.”
“Let’s go tuck you in, then. I promise I’ll be up later.”
“Promise?”
“Absolutely.”
Lacey retrieved the bear and got an extra blanket for the spare bedroom. The bed was a queen, so there would be lots of room for both Quinn and Amber. There was no night-light, though, so Lacey left the light on in the bathroom so the upstairs wasn’t pitch-black. Quinn came upstairs and once Amber brushed her teeth they tucked her in and Lacey tucked the bear in with her. It felt right, passing it on. Like something she should have done ages ago. On impulse she leaned down and kissed Amber’s forehead. “Good night, sweetie.”
“Night, Lacey.”
“Go to sleep, baby.” Quinn kissed her, too. “I’ll be up soon.”
“Okay, Daddy.”
They left the door open, and made their way back downstairs. Quinn went back to the living room and sank into the soft cushions of the sofa, letting out a breath.
Lacey went straight to the cupboard above the stove and took out a bottle of whiskey that she assumed had once been her grandfather’s before he died. She poured a healthy splash in two glasses and went back to the living room, handed Quinn a glass, and sat across from him on the love seat.
“Hell of a day,” she said quietly, and Quinn nodded.
“Yep.” He took a long drink of his whiskey and winced as he swallowed. “Gah.”
Lacey did the same, felt the burn of the liquor heat her belly. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“This?” He lifted one bandaged arm. “It’ll heal. I wish other things could be fixed as easily.”
“Do you mean the house or your daughter?”
He drained the rest of the whiskey. “Both. Amber’s had such a rough time. Our home was the one thing I could do to keep things consistent for her, you know? So she could see that not everything changed after Marie...” He paused and cleared his throat. “After she died. Now that’s changed, too. I didn’t want to tell her but there’s a lot of smoke damage. Most of our things are ruined. A crew is going to have to go in there and do a major cleanup and the kitchen and downstairs bath will have to be rebuilt. Even then, those are just things. I hate that she’s feeling so insecure again. That there’s nothing I can do to keep her world the same as it was before.”
“Except that you’re still here and with her every step of the way.”
“A kid her age doesn’t get that. They see a change in routine, in familiar things, and fear. Tell me a fire wouldn’t have scared the living shit out of you when you were four years old.”
“I was six when a man in a uniform knocked on the door and told me my father was dead, Quinn. My mom moved us to the city. New people, new place, new everything. I know what you mean, but I also know that it meant the world to me to have my mom. Duke and Rylan were boys. They had each other. I was alone in the middle. I understand more than you think.”
There was silence for a minute, and then Quinn reluctantly admitted, “I know you do. I’m sorry.”
Lacey shook her head. “Don’t be sorry at all. I’m not saying you’re wrong. I’m just saying...” She searched for the right words. “Amber is lucky to have you, and even at her age, she knows it.”
“She was afraid I was going to die like her mother. That damn near broke my heart.”
“Of course it did. There’s nothing worse than knowing your child is in pain.”
Quinn winced as he shifted in the chair. “What would you know about it?”
Well, damn. Just when she let her guard down, thought she and Quinn were working together, bam. He knew exactly where to hit her so it hurt the most.
She finished her drink. Considered explaining and then decided against it. It was her private business, for one, and today wasn’t about her. Quinn had a lot on his plate and she wasn’t about to bring her drama into it. Another day she might have pointed out all she’d done to help and perhaps he could show a little gratitude. But not today. Not with something this big.
So she bit her tongue and instead asked about the house. “Do they have any idea what caused the fire?”
Quinn met her gaze. “Do you think Amber’s asleep?”
It was an odd question, and she frowned at him. “Why?”
His voice was low as he answered. “I don’t want her to hear.”
It had been several minutes and the house was utterly silent. “She was exhausted. I’m sure she’s asleep.”
Quinn nodded. “Before school she came out with lipstick on and I sent her back to the bathroom to wipe it off. She must have gotten into some of Marie’s things without me knowing. What I didn’t realize was that she’d gotten out the straightening iron. The initial guess is that we left before she could use it and it got left on, since the fire seems to have started in the half bath. I can’t think of anything else that would have done it.” He scrubbed his face with a hand. “She misses her mom so much. Even now, after all this time. I know that. I should have checked before we left the house, but we were running late.”
“You couldn’t have known. Don’t blame yourself.”
His face hardened. “I’m sure as hell not going to blame her, if that’s what you’re getting at.”
The whiskey hadn’t done anything to ease his mood, and Lacey thought perhaps bed was a better idea. “I wasn’t blaming anyone, and neither should you. That’s why it’s called an accident.”
She pushed herself off the love seat and went to the kitchen, put her glass in the sink. “It’s been a long day. I think I’ll say good-night,” she said, and headed for the stairs.
Quinn got up and followed her. “Lacey, wait.”
She shouldn’t have paused. She should have kept right on going, around the newel post and up the stairs to her room and shut the door. But she didn’t. Her footsteps halted and he caught up with her. His fingers circled her forearm, turning her around to face him.
“I’m sorry I snapped at you,” he said, his voice deep and low. “That was uncalled for.”
She swallowed, unsure of what to say. “It’s okay,” she whispered, anxious to get away, terrified by how much she liked the feel of his hand on her wrist. Her breath came quick and shallow and when she looked up and their eyes met...
Let me go, she thought crazily. Let me go because we can’t do this.
“It’s not okay,” he answered, and his hand tightened until she was sure he had to feel her pulse hammering against his fingertips. “You’ve done nothing but help today. You even thought to pick up things for my daughter just in case, and you cooked for all of us, and I know you must hate having us intrude on your space...”
