“Did she have a freckle here?” he asked as he pointed to the side of his chin.
Thinking hard, I couldn’t recall ever noticing one, so I just shrugged.
“What kind of things does she ask?”
I was looking to the side as I tried to remember, so I didn’t see the way his fists clenched tightly. “She asked about my family and if I was from here. Uh, she’s asked in the past about my brothers and how many generations of us have been in Gonzales County,” I paused and tried to remember more. “Oh, and she’s asked about you.”
He was quiet for a moment, but then he stood up and reached for my plate. “Are you finished?”
I was so surprised by the change in him that I just nodded and then watched as he picked it up and carried it back through to the kitchen. For the first time in a while the atmosphere between us was tense and uncomfortable, and I wasn’t sure what to do with it.
“How did the boy’s surgery go?”
There was no misinterpreting the relief on his face at the change in topic. “He’s in recovery, but they think it went as well as it could. Now we just have to hope and pray that his body doesn’t reject it as he heals. They ended up doing a split liver transplant on him at his family’s request, and because he was on the organ donor list, the other part of it went to a sixteen-year-old girl who was also a match. They also found patients for some of his other organs, so he gave the beauty of life to more people than he realized he would.”
Damn, this poor kid.
“What about his dad?”
“From what I could understand, they’re delaying his funeral until the boy can go.”
Since his dad's accident, I’d been thinking about the poor boy and whether his family might struggle now without his father and his job income. That’s why he was here when he died—he was doing a final assignment for his job so that they had enough money for after the surgery. I had an idea of how we could help him, but I needed to discuss it with my sisters-in-law and the girls first.
“Listen,” he rasped. “I’m sorry about just now. Some of the things you described reminded me of Chantal, and I’m wondering if I should maybe speak to Ren and Luke, maybe even Mace, to get them to check if she’s still in Piersville.”
This information made it feel like ice had taken over the muscles in my back. “Do you think she’d come here?”
Looking uncomfortable, Parker scratched the back of his neck, chewing his lower lip while he thought about it. “I think she’s unhinged enough to do it. You know the girl who took the photos in my car while I was at work?”
How could I forget? Those photographs had made me want to shove whatever was closest up his ass when I saw them.
Still, I was meant to be mature Ariana now, so I refrained from telling him that. Instead, I nodded.
“Well, I was leaving work one night, and I saw Chantal standing near the exit of the hospital watching me. She’d approached me before and was hinting at having photographs of us together that she was going to show Dad—”
“Hold up,” I snapped, holding my hand up in the air to stop him. “She’s blackmailing you? What’s in these pictures?”
“Considering I never technically did anything to her, I have no idea,” he sighed.
Something struck me as familiar about this, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. Then, I got it. “Ren—didn’t some chick that was trying to break him and Maya up Photoshop photos of him and someone else with a girl?”
It’d happened years ago, but I was sure that was what had happened.
“Yeah, but Chantal’s too smart for that shit. That was immature bullshit, she’s more of a pro.”
“Do you think she has photos?”
“Fuck if I know,” he shrugged. “Anyway, I know her body language and facial expressions well, I dealt with enough of them, so when I saw her standing there, I grabbed the chick as we were leaving and asked her out to dinner.”
Don’t puke, don’t puke. Also don’t pick up the knife beside him and burst his ball. Definitely don’t puke in the pot beside the sink and then throw it at him.
“Ari, nothing happened,” he said gently, “I don’t use pretty words because I don’t usually have pretty words to give anyone. But I was—I am—absolutely consumed by you. From the moment I saw you during Tom and Sonya’s thing, that was it for me. Then, during Adam and Scarlett’s problems, I knew I was in trouble with you. If we hadn’t spent that night together and I hadn’t fucked up as badly as I did, I was already looking at seeing a therapist and sorting my shit out so that I could be who you deserved.”
“Parker,” I snapped. “You keep saying you want to make yourself in the man that I deserve. Don’t you think that you’re the one who deserves to be that man more? I mean, Christ,” I slashed my hand through the air, “you spend your days and nights saving other people’s lives and searching for people who are going through what you did. You’ve worked for Doctors Without Borders during your vacation time.” This tidbit of knowledge surprised him. “You had a really shitty thing—no, a lot of shitty things—happen to you at a time when you were meant to be supported, loved, and appreciated. That’s not on you, that’s on her and your dad. So, you recognizing that you weren’t in a good place and that you were living life in a way that you didn’t want to live it means you’re doing it for you.”
He went to open his mouth to say something, but I picked up the wooden spoon from the counter beside me and lightly tapped him on the side with it. “I have more to say, Knight. You need to see that the changes you’ve made are for you, not me. Aren’t you happier? Don’t you feel that bit lighter? When you run outside, is the air cleaner? Tell me, I really want to know!”
I was pretty much panting by the end of my speech, images of me painting my face blue and screaming “Freedom” like Mel Gibson in Braveheart going through my mind. So I never expected him to do what he did next.
Reaching out, he hooked his arm around my waist and pulled me into him with so much force that a squeak came out of me, while the wooden spoon went flying through the air, hitting him on the head, then falling to the ground.
“Fuck, but you’re amazing, baby. And you’re right, I do feel happier and lighter. Therapy isn’t a cure-all, but I can see what happened more clearly, and I’m starting to put it behind me so that I can move forward. What I hadn’t done was thought about me deserving to be this person. I thought I was doing it for you.”
Rising onto my toes, I gave him a soft kiss on the chin and then dropped back down again. What girl wouldn’t like to hear that they’re amazing? Not this one.
“Parker, if there’s anything I learned from where my mind was at as a kid, it’s to know your worth. Everyone has a value to the world, it’s how they use the value that makes them what they are in it. Chantal used it to terrorize you and molest you, which decreased her value. You’ve wandered for years, not knowing what yours was for, but now you’re starting to see it, so you need to recognize it, too.”
His eyes went unfocused as he thought about it and then nodded. “You’re right, baby. When did you get so smart?”
“Probably around the time I stopped spending so much time with my family,” I snickered. I mean, it could have stunted my smartness’ growth, right?
“And if I start recognizing my value, will you go back to gaming?” he asked softly, hitting me with a whammy of a question.
I knew my face had shut down and that my body had tensed up, but I couldn’t help it. “I’m past that point in my life, Parker.”
Cupping my face in both hands, he pulled me up to meet him halfway. “No, you’re not. And I’m going to let you in on a secret, are you ready?” Nodding, I waited and braced. “The nerdy gaming Ariana Townsend was fucking hot. I miss her.”
Gulp. Definitely remembering to pack more panties next time.
“Really?” I breathed, hoping he wasn’t bullshitting me.
“Really. And I’d really like my nerdy, sexy gaming girl back.”
He wa
tched the smile slowly growing on my mouth closely. “I think I know where all the stuff is.”
I was lying out of my ass. It was in my old office at the Townsend Oil operations building, only five minutes from my house. It was also all wrapped and boxed carefully, just in case someone knocked it. Just because I thought it would make more of the woman I’d assumed he’d wanted didn’t mean I wanted any harm to come to it.
“Then how about after we go and collect Gaynor and Sneezy tomorrow, we head to wherever you think it is and bring it home?”
That sounded like the best day of my life.
“Deal!”
Things had relaxed between us after that. I think one of the worst things to know would have been that he’d had sex with random women—or even just with the woman in the photos—after our night together. Sure, nothing had happened between us, but it’d eaten away at me. Knowing he hadn’t, I felt lighter and more secure. Would I tell him this? Fuck no, I didn’t want to look like a sad sack.
We’d discussed our days a bit more, then the conversation had turned toward the goats. The animal behavioralist had confirmed that things were okay between the dogs and the goats after she’d watched them interact over the last couple of weeks, which was great news. Because Jerry continued to just live in his little world, she recommended that we try them together at home instead of taking him out of his comfort zone.
The keyword was try.
If it turned out that they couldn’t all be together, we’d look at building an extension onto the house that’d be designed especially for them. Basically, I was keeping Gaynor and Sneezy regardless, it was just the how and where that was dependent on what happened between them and Hanky and Panky.
This week, my brothers had redone the fence for the enclosed space of my yard, and they’d built a large shed—one that came in a box because it was quicker—for the goats. We’d ordered a kids activity pirate ship and some tires for them, too.
And I was so damn excited!
We were just getting ready for bed when Parker asked, “Why do you like miniature animals so much?”
“I don’t know,” I shrugged as I wiped off my makeup with a wipe. “I guess I just always stand up for the little guy.”
He was in the middle of spitting out a mouthful of toothpaste when I said it, so when he laughed, it went all over the sink. Ignoring it, I watched him as he went back to brushing, almost hypnotized by the show. It had to be said, I’d never watched a man brush his teeth before. My brothers didn’t count, plus they were skanky asses who’d only done a quick swipe or ran their brushes under the water to make Mom think they’d done what they were meant to.
Parker had his own way of doing it, and it was hot as hell to watch. By the time he was finished, I was already looking forward to watching him do it after we woke up in the morning—obviously also acknowledging the fact that this was sad sack behavior, but ask me if I cared?
As he cupped his hand under the water, though, my hand shot out to catch it before he could bring it up to his mouth.
“Didn’t your dentist ever tell you not to do that?”
“Uh, no?”
“You’ve got perfect teeth, so you need to keep them that way. If you rinse after you brush them, you’re washing out all of the fluoride in the toothpaste left in your mouth. It reduces what it’s in there to do.”
Blinking at the random information, he watched me like he was expecting there to be more. Bad news for him, that was the extent of my knowledge, but I took the health of my teeth very seriously.
“How important is this to you?” he asked carefully, his eyes darting back to his hand, which still held a tiny bit of the water he’d been cupping in it.
“When I was four, I fell off Tate’s skateboard and knocked my front teeth out. It took almost a year for my adult teeth to grow in. Then I had alignment issues because my back baby teeth were delayed in falling out so the adult ones could grow in, which meant I had braces. I spent so much time at the dentist and orthodontist that I now know way more than I want to about oral health.” I could laugh about it now, but at the time it sucked donkey balls.
Assessing all of this information, he pointed out, “You might find that’s where your problems with your appearance started. You were so aware of an imperfection that you focused on what you felt were other ones.”
I couldn’t help lifting my hand to rub my nose as he said it. More than likely to make sure I didn’t have a big old potato honker there still.
Grabbing my hand, he pulled me into him. “I don’t like talking about my past, and you don’t like remembering things you didn’t like about yourself. We both need to realize our value, don’t you think?”
Gah, I hated that he was using my own words back at me.
“You’re right,” I agreed begrudgingly with a sigh. “I’ll keep working on that.”
Giving me a peck on the nose, he whispered, “You do that. In the meantime,” he skimmed his hands up my back, pulling the t-shirt of his I was wearing with it, “I want to learn all about you. What goes on inside this beautiful head,” he kissed me on the forehead, “all about your past, and all about your body.”
He could do whatever he wanted if he moved his hands under the damned piece of clothing he’d insisted I wore instead of the pajamas I’d brought with me.
Looking almost vulnerable, he added, “I want what we have to mean more to you than any other guy got from you. I don’t know why, but I keep thinking about it and worrying.”
“Uh, Parker, we already have more than what I’ve had with anyone. I don’t exactly have a…” I paused, cringing at having a discussion I hadn’t wanted to have. “A long and colorful dating history, and, honestly, I’m not the sort of person who wants to swap notes on that. I don’t want to know about your past, and I really don’t want to discuss my own. It makes me feel uncomfortable and like I have to live up to something.”
When I finished, he just stared at me, like he was trying to see inside my mind. Jesus, I hope he couldn’t. What if he was one of those people who was born with ‘the gift’ or something? If I ever needed to go to the bathroom or fart, he’d know.
Finally, he agreed. “Okay, we’ll leave it at just us. What happened in the past stays in the past.”
I swear my legs would’ve given out under me if he hadn’t been holding me still. “Thank you.”
Running his nose down the edge of mine, he mumbled, “But I still want all of the other things I listed. I mean it, Ari, you mean everything to me, and I want you to have all of me.”
Not knowing what to say, I lifted onto my tiptoes and kissed him. No tongues, just a kiss to let him know I was with him.
“Christ, you’re amazing,” he whispered, only lifting his mouth enough to get the three words out before he kissed me again.
With his hand cupping the back of my head while the other one was wrapped around my waist, holding me tightly against him, he teased my mouth open with the tip of his tongue. With every lick and flick, I got carried farther away by the ‘Parker haze’ that seemed to be taking over. I wasn’t aware of the lights, I didn’t care where we were, I only cared about what we were doing now and how it felt.
Of course, if there’s anything that’s going to sink through that haze, it’d be the hand that was banded around me, lowering to my ass and picking me up without making an ‘oof’ noise or saying anything teasing and derogatory like my brothers used to.
Wrapping my legs around his waist, I was only just conscious of the fact that we were moving before I felt the soft cloud of his comforter at my back as he lay me down on his bed. I’d fallen in love with the bed as soon as I’d seen it, and if this ever went wrong, I was stealing it and moving somewhere he’d never find it.
Now that I was lying down, both of his hands were free to roam, so he took full advantage of it and started exploring with one of them. Bracing his weight on an outstretched arm, he lifted off me and looked down at where his hand was on my thigh.
“Ever
y time I see you wearing shorts, I see the muscles from all of the running you do, how smooth your skin is, and how soft it looks.”
“I moisturize.” The two words came out of my mouth before I could stop them, leaving me wishing I could get an eraser and just get rid of them from the world.
The side of his mouth hitched up into a smile, though, so I figured I hadn’t sounded too dumb.
“I love this muscle here,” he murmured, running his hand higher up my thigh. “And this little hollow right here,” he added as he skimmed over a little ditch looking thing that I couldn’t get rid of. “And I really love right here,” he whispered, his hand moving to cup me between my legs.
This time I didn’t say anything stupid, I made sure of it. Instead, I focused on the expression on how intently he was staring at where his hand was.
“Is this mine, Ari?”
Playing him at his own game, I reached down to cup him through his boxers. The move almost backfired on me when I felt how hard and long he was behind the material, but my momma didn’t raise no quitter.
“Is this mine, Parker?”
“Absolutely!” he said with complete conviction. “It’s been all yours since the shit went down with Tom.”
Well, there was no arguing against that. “Then yes, it’s all yours.”
In the next second, he was kissing me fiercely, his tongue brushing over the side of mine, almost like he was laying claim to my mouth. Kissing him back, my hand moved of its own volition up into his hair, grabbing a fistful to keep him in place.
Still resting on one arm, he used his other to shift the elastic of my panties to the side so that he could get under them. I maybe should’ve been embarrassed by how wet I was, but when his finger slid through the slickness with ease and then circled my clit, I almost celebrated it.
“Fuck, baby,” he groaned into my mouth, his finger moving back down to my entrance so that the tip could just dip inside me. “So fucking beautiful.”
I was so distracted by what his finger was doing now that it took a moment to register that he was kissing down my neck, stopping to suck lightly on my pulse, before continuing his journey. The whole time his finger continued to dip in and then circle me until I wanted to scream at him to just put it inside me already.
Forbidden Gold (Providence Gold Book 5) Page 20
