“Dillon, I…” She took a step back. “I don’t know what to say. I mean, I know that you’re here to try and make my weekend a success and all that, but this isn’t necessary.”
“I didn’t plan all this because I’m trying to make sure you have a good time, Aly.”
“Then why did you plan it?”
“Because I want to take you out. Not as friends, or even as friends with benefits. But as a guy taking his girl out to a nice dinner and a show. If you were looking forward to dancing tonight, I’m sure we can find time to fit it in.” He gave her a lopsided grin and closed the distance between them, placing his hands on her hips. “Just remember that the only dancing I know how to do is the slow kind where you sway back and forth and turn in a circle, so I hope you’re not expecting a night with John Travolta.”
Alyssa frowned and stepped out of his arms again. Not the reaction he’d been hoping for. He’d been replaying different scenarios for how the night could go over and over in his mind. This part was supposed to be easy.
Step One: Make romantic plans to surprise woman you love.
Step Two: Sweep woman you love off her feet by revealing said romantic plans.
Step Three: Enjoy watching woman you love blush and smile at various romantic gestures throughout the night.
Any second-guessing he expected her to have wasn’t supposed to be until much later in the evening, but apparently he’d miscalculated something along the way.
“Aly, what’s wrong?”
“I don’t understand. You came here offering a no-strings weekend fling, and despite my better judgment, I went along with it.” Holding herself around the middle, she added, “Now suddenly you want to change the rules, and what, date me?” Cue humorless laugh. “The last thing I want right now is to date—”
She clamped her lips shut, obviously catching herself before she finished her sentence. But it wasn’t hard to figure out. “Me, right? The last thing you want to do is date me.” She didn’t say anything, which said plenty. Indignation mixed with his already frayed nerves. Not a good combination. “That’s a pretty bold statement considering the last twenty-four hours, don’t you think?”
“Not at all. Why would I think that when my best friend has done nothing but shove that line of thinking down my throat? Just because two people enjoy each other in the bedroom doesn’t mean it has to be—or should be—anything more than that.”
“Point taken.” The muscles in his jaw ticked in aggravation. “That how you really feel?”
No longer needing her own embrace, Alyssa switched to crossing her arms over her chest. Seemed indignation was contagious. “Don’t patronize me, Dillon. You and I both know feelings have nothing to do with this.”
“Actually, feelings—both yours and mine—were the driving force behind this, but you wouldn’t know that because you’re focusing on the wrong damn thing.”
“I disagree,” she said with a shake of her head. Then something in her eyes changed and dread crept into his gut. “Getting physically involved with you was a mistake.”
Dillon froze. Somehow this had gone from bad to the beginning of Armageddon. Taking a deep breath, he held his hands up as though he could physically stave off the end he felt bearing down on him. “Okay, let’s calm down. This is spiraling and we’re starting to say things we don’t mean.”
“But I do mean it. For as long as we’ve been friends, you’ve never once even hinted at having romantic feelings for me. Then we start having sex and in less than twenty-four hours you’re suddenly interested? So I’m supposed to fall at your feet like all the other women and dread the day when you inevitably tell me you’re getting antsy?”
“Getting ant— Aly, what the fuck are you talking about?”
“That’s what you say every time you break up with a girl. You don’t even realize you do it, but I’ve heard you say it more times than I can count. Kind of like you wrote on my note this afternoon. Despite what you’re telling me, Dillon, your subconscious was already preparing to end things.”
Fucking brilliant. A phrase he hadn’t thought twice about was ruining his chance with Alyssa before he even got started. “You’ve got it all wrong. It was just a fluke that I used that in your note. It meant nothing.”
Balling her fists at her sides, she squared her shoulders and lifted her chin. “I am not my mother. I won’t sit around, waiting for you to decide I’m no longer good enough to come home to. I refuse to live like that. Not even for love.” She reached up and pulled her mask off, unshed tears alight in her eyes. “Not even for you.”
He opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. A dozen replies crashed into a dozen emotions and everything got jumbled together until it was one big clusterfuck in his head. He resorted to pacing in a tight line and rubbing at the tense muscles in the back of his neck until he could pull out a single thread of consciousness.
“Jesus Christ, Aly, I can’t believe you think I would do that to you of all people.” Stopping in front of her he held his arms out to the sides. “I don’t even know how we got here. This was supposed to be a romantic evening and the beginning of something incredible between us. Something special.”
His phone vibrated in one long string. Knowing it would be the limo driver he pulled it out and answered. “Yeah… No, I got your message… Okay, give me another five minutes.” Alyssa crossed to the bed, an expression on her face that could either be confusion or extreme focus. Neither boded well. “Better make that ten. Thanks.”
“What do you mean, ‘something special’?”
Pocketing his phone, he tried to think of the best way to answer that. Though he’d never come right out and told her how he felt, surely she had to at least have some idea by now. Especially after what they shared this afternoon. He knew the soul-deep connection he’d felt hadn’t been one-sided.
“I want a relationship with you. A very real, very serious relationship,” he said honestly.
“But you don’t believe in relationships. And although sex with you was…well, a revelation…I’m not so naive as to think that with your history, sex with me moved you to change your lifelong stance.”
Dillon mentally counted to ten. Slowly. “You’re right,” he said. “Sex with you definitely didn’t make me want more with you, Aly.” Her face fell, and she cast her eyes down to the floor. Moving to her, he lifted her chin with a finger until she met his gaze. “Sex with you is so far beyond anything I’ve ever experienced with any other woman. Swear to God. But that has nothing to do with why I want more with you.”
“Then why?” she asked, her voice whisper-soft.
“Because.” Biting the bullet, he took a deep breath and exhaled from his heart. “Because I’ve been in love with you for years.” A slight gasp passed her lips, but he pressed on before he lost his nerve. “I couldn’t even tell you when it happened. All I know is I’ve wanted you for a long damn time, but I never told you because I was convinced I’d only end up hurting you.”
Alyssa swallowed hard and went back to hugging herself. He wanted it to be his arms holding her, but the last thing he wanted to do was push her. “So,” she began carefully, “when you suggested I use you to satisfy my physical urges…”
“Yeah, I know, it sounds bad considering it wasn’t exactly a selfless gesture. But all the reasons I told you are still true. They just weren’t the only—or main—reasons I wanted you to choose me over anyone else. And now I’m hoping that you see how good we are together. Not just as friends, but as lovers. And we are, Aly. You can’t deny that.”
“I’m not denying that the sex is great, but a relationship is more than just friendship and great sex. However,” she said carefully, “I’ll agree that I felt a certain connection that went beyond that today. So, you have me believing in that much at least.” She gave a little chuckle that sounded part nerves, part hysteria. “Next you’ll be proposing marriage and making me second-guess which planet I’m on.”
Fuck.
D
illon swore his heart stopped. He knew for certain his lungs had seized up on him. Something on his face must have given him away. All color drained from her face, her eyes blew wide, and her fingers flew to her mouth.
“Oh my God.”
Chapter Nine
“You can’t be serious, Dillon,” she said in apparent disbelief. “Have you gone completely insane?”
Pushing past him, she headed for the door in a panicked rush. Goddammit! This had all the signs of a train wreck.
“Alyssa, wait.” He followed her out the door and jogged the couple steps it took to catch up to her in the hall as she stalked toward the elevators. “Tell me what makes me so insane. That I want to spend the rest of my life with someone I love and who knows me better than anyone else? Hell, we already acted like a married couple with the exception of sex and where we slept at night, and we crossed both those bridges last night. How much different would it really be if we started staying on the same side of the town house?”
They rounded the corner just as two ladies dressed in masquerade attire boarded the elevator. Alyssa raised her arm up and called, “Hold the elevator, please!”
Her gait went from speed-walking to a light jog as though she wore cross-trainers instead of high heels. If she thought being in public would stop him, she was dead wrong. As they entered the elevator car, he put his back to the other ladies and braced one hand on the wall at Alyssa’s shoulder. “Tell me exactly what it is that makes this—us—such a bad idea.”
As they started their slow descent she said, “Eighty-five percent of marriages—”
Using the hand already on the wall, Dillon smacked it against the cold metal. “Fuck the statistics, Aly.” Not only did Alyssa jump, but he saw the women behind him startle in the blurry reflection. “You weave those things around you like a jaded suit of armor, and I think it’s total bullshit. I get that it’s your job to know that stuff, but you focus on it too much. You should focus a little more on my job and maybe you wouldn’t be so damn pessimistic.”
“You think I should focus on construction,” she said with obvious doubt.
“Yeah, I do. It shows you what results when you build something right. Whether it’s a cabin in the mountains or a high-rise in the city, there’re three things I need in order to make it the best it can be.” Holding his free hand between them, he ticked them off with his fingers. “A strong foundation to build on, solid framing to hold it together, and damn good teamwork.”
The elevator slowed to a stop and the doors slid open. From the corner of his eye, he saw a guy wearing a tux and black half mask join their awkward party, but Dillon ignored him like the others. Alyssa glanced past his shoulder at the newcomer and then spoke softly.
“Dillon, I don’t know where you’re going with this, but I don’t want to discuss it anymore.”
He didn’t bother to acknowledge the statement. He wasn’t giving up because she was uncomfortable or embarrassed. They’d never see these people again, and if he didn’t get this out now, he didn’t know if he ever would. “Just listen. You don’t get a stronger foundation than a lifelong friendship like ours. Love is the framing that’ll hold us together no matter what we face. And as far as the last thing goes, I’d say our teamwork shoots way past ‘damn good’ into the ranges of mind-blowing and best-I’ve-ever-had.”
“Dillon,” Alyssa whispered as her cheeks flooded with color.
“I’m only being honest. And having the kind of chemistry that burns up the sheets and breaks lamps is nothing to be ashamed about.”
Behind him, quiet gasps and what might have been a muttered “Amen” barely registered on his radar. But as they finally reached their floor, the man angling himself to get a better look at Alyssa didn’t escape Dillon’s notice.
The doors parted. “Is this guy bothering you? Do you want me to find security?”
“No, that’s not necessary,” she answered. “We’re just talking.”
Dillon recognized the voice as that of Captain Mark of the S.S. Douchebag. Lowering his arm, he turned to confront the player who’d tried getting in Alyssa’s panties the night before.
“You again,” Mark said with more than a hint of disdain.
The ladies passed between them, visibly trying to make themselves as small as possible. The second one paused long enough at the threshold to give him a sympathetic look and mouth “Good luck” before chasing after her friend.
The doors closing again jolted the three of them remaining into action. Dillon and Mark each shot a hand out to activate the sensors, and Alyssa didn’t waste anymore time. Grabbing handfuls of her dress, she hitched up the front and swept into the lobby. Dillon stepped in her direction but was pulled up short with a hand on his shoulder.
“Swing and a miss, buddy. Step aside and give someone else a chance.”
Dillon growled as he spun around and got within an inch of the prick’s face. “You even try to touch her, and I’ll make sure you won’t need the fake hook for your costume next year. Got it?”
“Whoa.” Palms held out, the pretty boy backed up. “Whatever, man. There’s plenty of fish in the sea. I don’t need that cold one.”
The man’s attitude made Dillon sick, but teaching him a lesson in respecting women would be a waste of time he didn’t have. Turning back, he scanned the area for Alyssa.
“Ho. Ly. Shit.” The lobby area of the second floor was wall-to-wall women in similar styles of dresses in every color. Including white. She’d disappeared as sure as Cinderella fleeing the prince. At least Cinderella had the decency to leave a clue behind so the prince could find her.
Then again, the prince didn’t have the luxury of having Cinderella’s cell number. Dillon pulled out his phone and pressed the speed dial for Alyssa, praying she picked up.
…
Alyssa stared down at Dillon from the balcony above the ballroom lobby. She’d managed to blend into the crowd and make it to the far side of the room to climb the sweeping staircase and hide out behind a large column. Her heart was beating faster than a hummingbird’s wings, and her stomach had twisted into so many knots in the elevator ride down that she didn’t think she’d be able to eat anything ever again.
How had everything gotten so screwed up? Nothing made sense anymore. She felt like Alice falling down the rabbit hole where up was down and down was up. Two days ago she’d been the one who wanted to convince Dillon they were meant to be together and he thought “relationship” was another word for Chinese water torture.
But now Mr. I’m-Always-So-Sure-of-Myself wanted to get engaged. Betrothed. Affianced. It was enough to make a girl…well, run and hide behind a balcony column.
It wasn’t until she heard her phone ringing in her clutch that she registered Dillon was holding his up to his ear as he continued to scan the crowd. She gnawed on her lip for two full rings before snatching it out and sliding her finger across the screen to connect the call. Only she didn’t know what to say. So she said nothing.
“Alyssa, come back and talk to me. Or tell me where you are, and I’ll come to you,” he said. “We’ll go wherever you want, but don’t leave things unfinished like this.”
“I don’t know what you want me to say, Dillon. I love you, but…” She took a deep breath and told herself to spit it out. “I’m not in love with you.” Damn it. Her voice held all the conviction of a woman telling a Girl Scout she didn’t want any Thin Mints.
“Bullshit.”
Her spine straightened and feathers ruffled. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me,” he said, his voice now gravelly with obvious vexation. Then, as though guided by an unseen force, Dillon swung his gaze up to where she stood on the balcony. She sucked in a breath and grabbed hold of the banister for support. His heavy gaze reminded her of the weight of his muscular body pressing her into the mattress. The dichotomic sensations of imprisonment and liberation, of wanting to be free, yet never wanting to leave.
“You can lie all you want, Aly, but I saw it.”
>
She swallowed hard and prayed her voice came through. “Saw what?” she barely whispered.
“The love in your eyes. And not the love-you-as-a-friend kind, but the soul-deep kind that I feel for you. I saw it this afternoon as you straddled me in that chair. As we stared into each other’s eyes and made love. As you came so hard that I followed you over that edge and thought I’d die from pleasure I’d never known, and yet all I could focus on was the love I saw in your eyes. It was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, Aly.”
Tears welled up and spilled over her cheeks. They didn’t even have the decency to wait for her to blink first. The frustration at her lack of control leaked into her tone. “Even if that were true, it still doesn’t justify you wanting to go from friends to engaged in less than a day.”
“Why, because I’ve never had a steady girlfriend? Or because polite society expects us to follow some approved time line for dating? Screw that and screw anyone who criticizes us. We don’t need to justify our actions to anyone but ourselves.” He laid his hand over his heart. “I would marry you tonight if I thought for one second you’d agree to it. Because I already know there will never be anyone else I love as deeply as I do you.”
“Oh my God,” she whispered in half panic, half plea. He didn’t understand she wasn’t afraid to marry him, she was afraid of him leaving her if she did. “Dillon, this is too much. You and I both know you’ll never settle down with one woman,” her voice broke, “and I wouldn’t survive it if you left.”
“I would never leave you, Alyssa. Don’t you get it?” His tone implored her to believe him. “Baby, we’ve been married since I was eight and you were six and I punched Bobby Fletcher for making fun of you, and you looked at me like I’d slayed all your dragons, making me feel ten feet tall. I just never got around to giving you a ring.”
Oh, God, he was killing her. He held her gaze and didn’t let it go. Pain lanced through her lower lip from where her teeth pinned the soft flesh.
Dillon dragged a hand over his face as his frustrated sigh traveled to her through the airwaves. “But this isn’t about the proposal or engagement, is it, Alyssa? The real issue is that you can’t bring yourself to want a relationship with me at all.”
Tempting Her Best Friend (A What Happens in Vegas Novel) Page 11
