“True. How does that make you feel?”
“I’m good. I practice releasing control of the things I can’t change and working on changing the things I can. I’m a fast learner.”
“Yes, you’re a very intelligent man.”
He grinned.
“How do you think you’re handling the absence of your wife?”
He placed his hands on the desk, palms together, and fingers steeped. “Angie’s gone. I don’t know if she’ll ever come back. Since you’ve made it clear to me that I can’t drive to Knoxville and drag her back home, all-in-all, I’m doing pretty good.”
She added some additional notes to his file.
After what seemed like an eternity, he continued, “I know I’m better than when I first came to see you. At least now, I realize my fear of losing her may have driven her away. Pretty crazy, huh? If I get the opportunity to make it up to her, at least now, I know that things have to change. Actually, I have to change. She can choose to change or not. But I will.”
Doctor King tapped her pen against the pad on her desk. Could she read his mind?
“I’m hearing the right words. My hope is that you will embrace them and make them a part of you. Do you think you will?”
“I know I’ve got to.”
“How are you viewing your marriage?”
He slumped in the chair, replaying her question over and over. What would he have to do to salvage their relationship? Gina had told him to man up, learn the value of real love. Could he do it? He trusted Gina. She knew him better than anyone, maybe even better than Angie did. Why was that? A wife should be the closest person in his life, not an assistant. He couldn’t keep Angie at a distance any longer. Not if he wanted to have her love.
“I love Angie. I realized when I met Lucinda, that no one could take Angie’s place. The only hope I see for our marriage is to learn to trust her and give her space to be herself.”
As their session ended, Doctor King rose and walked Jonathan out into the lobby. She shook his hand. “At this point, you are ready to fly a small prop. If you need to increase your flying skills to tackle a 737 jet, please call and we’ll schedule some additional flying lessons. If you have a question or a need, pick up the phone and call me. Once Angie’s home, we can schedule joint sessions, if she is interested.”
That was it. Really?
“Your next challenge will be in group.”
“Group? What’s that?”
“I run a weekly support group. The participants are all patients of mine. We maintain total privacy and help each other practice what has been learned. My role is to keep the discussions on track. The sessions are free, and confidential.”
He stared down at his feet. It had been almost impossible to open up to Doctor King. Now she wanted him to talk to strangers. “How many people are in this group?”
“I keep it to twelve or less. If necessary, I start a second group. There are both men and women in the sessions. It’s amazing how much you can learn from the opposite sex.”
Jonathan paused by the outer office door. It was time to tackle life in a more meaningful way. He could only hope the time would come when Angie returned and allowed him to make things up to her. “Tell you what. I’ll try it. But if I hate it, don’t expect me back. One on one has been hard enough.”
Doctor King extended her hand. “See you on Tuesday at 7. You won’t regret this, Jonathan.”
#
Jonathan reached his office by eleven o’clock. Gina glared at him as he entered the reception area. Ouch! He’d seen that look before. He’d forgotten to tell her he had an appointment before work.
“Hey, pretty lady, what’s happening today?”
“Don’t Pretty Lady me. Where’ve you been? Upstairs called for you three times. I’m supposed to know where you are at all times.”
He caught his breath. Counted to ten mentally and then released the trapped air. “I was at the counselor. Remember?”
“You put nothing on your calendar. How would I know?”
“I’m sorry. I could’ve sworn I gave you all my appointment cards to enter into our office scheduler.”
Silence.
“I know. I messed up.”
She continued to glare without response. Finally, she spit out, “Upstairs called every fifteen minutes since I got here. You should go right up to the boardroom.”
“Do you know what they want?”
She stood up and pointed toward the door. “They want you, and they wanted you two hours ago. I suggest you grab the elevator and get up there before they come down here.”
Jonathan approached the conference room on the twelfth floor. This area was considered no man’s land. Only the equity partners, lawyers who owned the firm, were allowed to be on this floor. Everyone knew that if you were ever called to come up to the sacred hill, you were usually on your way out, permanently. What had he done or failed to do that brought him to this dubious honor.
Ten senior partners occupied the twelfth floor. Oversized windows wrapped around the entire space. The elegant flooring, black marble with flecks of gold, sparkled in the afternoon sun. The reception-area walls, gently graced with golden faux trickled with black accents, shouted –prosperity. The seating, all-leather armchairs, matched the elegant area. Each office displayed wood- paneled walls, mahogany furniture, and a private bath. Their salaries matched the opulence they worked in.
He knocked on the conference room door and a voice called out, “Come in.”
As he stepped inside, all ten partners sat waiting for him. He stood erect, directed his gaze toward the men gathered at the table, and entered with purpose in his stride.
“Jonathan, it’s good to see you. Come in and take a seat,” senior partner, Mel Banks said.
“Thanks. Sorry I kept you waiting.” Jonathan pulled out an empty leather chair and sat at the end of the conference table. He accepted a cup of coffee and watched Mel Banks with interest.
Banks began, “Our firm has been retained to represent Regal Pharmacy in a landmark case. As our up-and-coming star, we have determined to utilize your courtroom skills.”
“I appreciate your confidence.”
Banks spent the next hour providing a high-level description of the case. “The defendant, Regal Pharmaceuticals, faces federal prosecution for falsifying drug trials. The government claims the deception allowed Regal to bypass any resistance from the FDA in order to commit fraud.”
Jonathan pencil flew across his notepad.
“Years of rumors imply that Regal has a reputation for being fast and loose, but not dishonest. Their main products are for heart patients.” Banks pulled some material from his briefcase, and continued as he passed out colored charts. With his laser pointer, he directed attention to the charts that popped up on the Smart Board. “A secondary study found apparent irregularities in the drug trials. An omission failed to include the potential risk, one in ten thousand patients who had taken the new drug had suffered a heart attack or death within six months of the drug trial.”
When finished with the debriefing, Banks leaned on the mahogany conference table and eyed Jonathan. “You’ll be the lead attorney. Jones will be your second chair. This afternoon Gina will be sent the entire discovery and motions filed thus far. Clear your calendar and keep Carl updated daily.”
“No problem with updates,” Carl volunteered. “Jonathan and I tailgate daily.”
Jonathan’s ego, badly in need of stroking, swelled. A not guilty verdict for the client would bring a great deal of money into the firm’s coffers. It would also result in a guaranteed position as a senior partner, perhaps even equity partner. The name recognition and notoriety, positioned him for his future aspirations in politics. This opportunity was perfect. His future might be back on track.
Mel Banks shot up from the conference table. “We’re adjourned.” Then he disappeared through the double doors leading to his executive office. The rest of the partners followed suit.
Five mi
nutes later, Jonathan winked at Gina as he strolled toward his private office. He stopped, whirled around, and gave her a high five. Then he burst into laughter. “I’m not fired.”
Her pale face regained color. The sparkle in her eyes returned as she burst into laughter. “Thank goodness. They kept calling for you. I tried to call your cell. When you didn’t pick up, I panicked.”
“Come in. I’ll tell you all about it. We are about to make senior partner.”
“One minute. There’s another item you’ve got to tend to.” She turned to her desk and retrieved a blue sheet of paper.
“I missed a call from Angie?”
She nodded.
“Why didn’t you put her through?”
“Put her through! I couldn’t even put the calls from upstairs through. She called earlier, while you were at your appointment with Doctor King. I forgot when you came back. Sorry.”
He smiled. Gina was his strongest ally, and he wasn’t the only one to feel pressure from the firm. “No problem. I’ll call her. Don’t worry about it.”
“Thanks for understanding, Boss.”
“Now, let me tell you about the meeting.”
Jonathon sipped his coffee and described his encounter with the top ten. He’d almost forgotten the excitement of being on the latter to the top, until Mel Banks praised him and assigned him to this high-profile case. “This is my big chance. A win now and I’m set for life.” He envisioned his future as if holding up a crystal ball. “I’m golden. Nothing can stop me now.”
Gina placed her hands in her lap, and stared at him. She bit her upper lip with an icy glare.
“This is our chance for it all. I make partner and you become the partner’s right-hand admin. Where’s your excitement?”
She picked up her cup of coffee from the edge of his desk and took a sip.
“What?”
She leaned forward. “Is this what you really want out of life?”
“Are you kidding?” The hair on his neck stood up. “Why did I go to law school and spend the next four years here as a law clerk doing grunt work? Of course, this is exactly why I’m here.”
“What about your marriage? Are you ready to kiss Angie goodbye?”
Her words hit like a punch landing in the center of Jonathon’s chest. He gasped. Angie? Had he already given up on his marriage?
“Look Boss, it’s none of my business, but every choice you make impacts two people in a marriage. Angie left on a journey to find herself. Have you wondered how this court case would affect her?”
He frowned. “Sure, she would be alone more, but she would be set for life. She’d have the financial resources to buy an art studio, teach painting, anything she wanted to do.”
“Have you ever asked her what she wants to do?”
He slapped the top of his desk with an open hand and jumped up. “Have I asked her anything? She won’t even speak to me. How the hell can I know what she’s thinking?”
“Well, she’s called you now, hasn’t she?” Gina rose and stood face to face with him. “Maybe it’s time to make a life-impacting decision. I hope you share your news with her. Otherwise, you make that decision in a vacuum.” She turned, stomped out of his office, and slammed his door behind her.
He spent his entire career working for this day. Could Gina be right? Was his life on autopilot? Unable to concentrate, he attempted to reach Angie. Of course, she never picked up. The silence in his office was deafening. Why did he keep trying?
#
Later that day, still unable to reach Angie, Jonathan left work early, picked up some Chinese takeout, and jumped on the train for home around 4:30. Starved, he gobbled up his meal, sat back in the seat, and closed his eyes. God, why was he so exhausted?
As his shoulders relaxed in the seat, a loud voice penetrated his space. Great! Someone wanted to engage him in idle conversation. Jonathan ignored the voice until the man’s words hit a sore point. Then he shot up in a sitting position and rebutted the comment. He entered into a hearty debate over economic policy with a loud-mouthed commuter. Why did he end up next to an uneducated bore? Weren’t there any intellectuals who rode the Redline?
Jonathan arrived at his stop and jumped off the train. He stretched his arms over his head and rotated his shoulders forward. Would this day ever end?
Once home, he took care of Mister Tubbs’ needs and then the two strolled into his home office. He walked over to his swivel chair, sat down, and turned on his computer. No messages from Angie. He grabbed his cell phone and tried her number. No answer. His heart pounded like a base drum in his chest. He didn’t even know if he had a marriage to save. But if he took this case, he knew he would be alone. Was an equity partnership worth that risk? Gina gave him good counsel. He had some big decisions to make, and time was short. He sighed.
How would he know what to do? He had wanted this chance at an equity partnership all of his adult life. But if it cost him his bride, how could it be worth it?
In college, he’d studied leadership. He learned there were several types of decisions made by leaders every day. Many decisions were made by consensus. Gather the input of others and the group makes the decision together.
A second method, one-with-some, the leader gathered information from a critical few and made the final decision alone.
The third method, one-on-none, required the leader to make the decision based on his best knowledge with no input from anyone else. He knew Angie should be included in his life plans, but he might have to act without her if he couldn’t reach her. He had to give his answer to the board in the morning.
He lifted the remote to his satellite system and turned on Neil Diamond, selecting “Forever in Blue Jeans.” Neil was right. Money can’t make you happy. If you’re always chasing that brass ring, you will lose your way. Money might make you famous, but life with your love-one makes you happy. Had he been chasing a dream that would cost him his Angie?
Why had he put her last? He thought she was happy. He should have known her well enough to recognize the warning signs.
Jonathan rechecked his voice mail and text messages. Nothing. He scanned his missed calls—none today. He slumped in his chair, laid his arms on the desk, and cradled his head. His breath came shallow and rapid. His pulse beat in his ears. What had happened to Angie? Why couldn’t he reach her?
He recalled several TV programs where a wife had disappeared, never to be found again. The law usually convicted the husband of murder. He imagined sitting helplessly in the interrogation room, as they asked, ‘Why did you wait for three weeks to report her missing?” The questions would come fast and furious. “Did the two of you argued before she left?” And the final accusation that always tripped up the murder, “Why hasn’t there been any activity on her credit card since her flight to Knoxville?”
Oh, my God. She could be hurt, kidnapped, or murdered. While all he had done was to sit in Chicago and gripe, because she had gone to take painting lessons? Geez, he was a sick monster.
He leaped up from his chair, called Delta Airlines, and then contacted Vicki. Although not concerned for Angie’s safety, Vicki agreed that with no word from her, it was time for action. She would pick up Mister Tubbs in the morning and tend to him until Jonathan returned.
“I’ll keep trying to reach her tomorrow. If she answers or calls back, I’ll insist she contact you.”
“Thanks,” he said. “Let me know if you talk to her. I’m sick with worry.”
With his flight scheduled for 6 in the morning, Jonathan packed a few necessities and attempted to get some sleep. Neil Diamond was right. The love of his life was more important than fame and money. To hell with the partnership, he would bring Angie home and spend the rest of his life trying to make up for the first eight years of their marriage.
Chapter 34
A soft rapping on her door awakened Angie from her dreams of a private hell. She slipped on her robe and stepped to the door. As she opened it, her eyes grew wide, as she took in the unexpe
cted vision before her. There stood the professor, holding a lavish bouquet of yellow and pink daisies and a box of Godiva Gold Ballotin chocolates. A smile covered his face from ear to ear. His eyes sparkled. Was she going crazy?
“Good morning, my dear. How are you this beautiful day?”
Angie’s hands shook and her knees buckled beneath her. Beautiful day? He evicted her last night. Her dreams smashed. How dare he bring her flowers and candy?
The professor sauntered into the cottage and set his gifts on the coffee table. “You look gorgeous. Are you ready for your next lesson?”
Angie stepped back and stared in silence. Next lesson? “I’m in my bathrobe, and I’m leaving today, if I can get a flight out. Delta has me on standby. I spent most of last night packing.” She waived her arm in the direction of her luggage. "You fired me as your student, remember?”
He collapsed onto the sofa and sank into the soft cushions. “Fired you? Nonsense,” he exclaimed. “Yes, I was a tad upset, but never would I fire you—ever. You are gifted. No, I won’t let you leave.”
Angie remained near the open door, not sure it was safe to close it. Was he insane? ‘Look, you made your wishes perfectly clear. I’m not the talent you wanted. I’m leaving. This merry-go-round is making me crazy.”
Was he crying? God, what was going on?
“Please don’t go. I need you here. My life starts and ends every day with you.”
He slumped further into the sofa and held his head in his hands. His body shook as he sobbed.
Angie closed the front door and then marched toward him, “What are you talking about? I’m your student, nothing more.”
He stared up at her, face wet with tears. “You are my path to greatness. Without you, I have nothing. Don’t take that away from me like Paula did.”
Paula? His path to greatness?
“Don’t you see?” he continued, as he stood back up. “You were at the competition when my peers ignored my talent.” He paced around the cottage. “Paula left me as soon as she learned everything I could teach her. She mocked me in the media. She turned me into a failure.”
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