Zen was looking over at where Jagger stood behind the glass counter, scowling in my direction. I laughed. "Maybe another time."
"Probably a good idea," he agreed.
Half the bottle was gone between us by the time Jericho was done, so I passed him my keys as we all climbed into my beat-up old Jeep. "Where's the party again?" I asked, my words a little bit slurred.
"The Hub, dumbass. You're the one who told us about it," Zen teased, laughing at my drunken forgetfulness.
"Right, right." I leaned my head against the window and watched the city lights blur together as Jericho took us further towards the outskirts of the city.
"Is True going to be there with Sophie?" I asked Zen, breaking my self-imposed silence. For once, my brain was shut off, and I was enjoying every second. But where Zen went True usually followed. That was unless his girlfriend, Sophie, had anything to say about it. She hated us all, and it was a source of personal pride that she hated me because I fucking hated her, too. And not in that cute will they-won’t they sort of way.
In the I-wish-my-friend-would-dump-your-gold-digger-ass sort of way.
Sophie reminded me of the girls from that movie, Clueless. Perfect on the outside, snobby, shallow, and airheaded on the inside. She tried to keep True on a short leash, and ever since she heard we were signing the contract with Pacific Records, she'd practically glued herself to his side, whining in her shrieking, grating valley girl voice whenever he tried to ditch her.
I warned him more than once to double wrap when he fucked her because she was the type of girl to try and lock him down with an ‘accident.’
I didn’t know what he saw in her. She was nothing like the girl I left behind. The one who I wrecked myself over. The reason I couldn’t stand to look at other women with anything other than contempt because they weren’t her. Maybe someday, with enough booze and drugs in my system, I’d get past my aversion to women and throw some in the mix.
But not enough time had passed. It’d only been two years, and while to some that might seem like an eternity, to me it was the blink of an eye. I learned the hard way exactly what happened when you walked away from the love of your life, and now I was paying the price.
We pulled up to the club, and Jericho parked down the block. I grabbed the bar that stretched the length of the ceiling and pulled myself up and out of the back seat, swaying slightly. I was pretty buzzed, but not quite fucked up enough. I needed to blow off steam tonight. To be fucked up enough to shut off my goddamn brain and just live.
One nod from Zen at the huge guy guarding the door, and we were in, the loud music an assault on my entire body. The bass pounded in my ears and vibrated through my bones, and it only got more intense the further inside we pushed. We’d come here enough that they recognized us. We didn’t even have to flash our fake IDs at the bouncer anymore.
We pushed through the crowd to find our normal booth in the far back corner. We weren’t in VIP, but this wasn’t the kind of place with a VIP section. Not really, at least. Someday we’d get there. Hopefully.
True was already there with Sophie perched on his lap. A couple of her obnoxious friends had come along, but I never cared enough about them to give them a second glance. They already had shots on the table ready, so I grabbed one and tossed it back before greeting anyone.
On my way in, I spotted this fuckable guy on the dance floor. Our eyes locked as I passed by, and I made a mental note to circle back around and make my play. Guys were so fucking easy. There were no games when we wanted to fuck. All it took was a head nod or a lingering look, and it was on.
Taking another shot, I swiped the back of my hand across my mouth. My eyes were pleasantly unfocused, and when I turned to head back to the dance floor to find the brunette guy with the dark eyes, I noticed one of Sophie’s snooty friends eyeing me up and down like she wanted me to stick my dick in her. I wasn’t interested, so I flashed her a cocky smirk that I hoped told her I knew she wanted my cock but would never get to have it, and then I turned away and forgot about her completely.
It didn’t take me long to find him, my mystery guy with dark, curly hair falling over his forehead, long lashes framing dark eyes. His body moved like liquid, smooth, and in a constant flow as he rolled his hips to the pulsing music. I watched his movements hungrily.
I’d already gotten my dick sucked tonight, but that was just the appetizer. I had a fucking three-course meal in mind, and my sight was locked right on him. It didn’t matter if he was gay or not. Fuck knows I wasn’t. But that was never important with the guys I hooked up with. We were all just looking for a good time with each other. Things were more fluid than gay or straight.
We just wanted to fuck.
I rocked my hips as the beat shook through my body, moving into his proximity but not getting too close yet. I wanted to let him come to me. I didn’t chase anyone. It wasn’t my style and not to sound like a conceited asshole, but I didn’t need to. I had plenty of offers without even trying.
Closing my eyes, I lost myself in the rhythm as my heated blood pounded right along with the pulsing music. A smirk crossed my face as a set of firm hands slid along my abs from behind, tugging me back into a hard body. But that wasn’t how I worked. I was the one in charge, the one who called the shots. If I were a cuddler, I’d be the big spoon every. Damn. Time.
So, I opened my eyes and spun around, coming face-to-face with the object of my lust for tonight. He stared back at me with heated eyes that matched my own, and I pulled him into my body, pushing my thigh between his while we swayed. I was a little over six feet, and he was maybe an inch or two shorter, so he had to look slightly up to meet my gaze.
I leaned forward, tracing my tongue along the curve of his neck and inhaling the scent of his cologne. His skin was damp with sweat from his dancing, but it just made him taste better as salt exploded on my tongue.
Pulling back, he leaned forward and captured my lips with his. Our movements halted as we tangled up with each other, my hands wandering to the back of his head to twist in his gorgeous curls and pull him closer. His tongue moved against mine as we found our own rhythm, and every stroke shot straight to my cock. Lost in my mystery man, I wasn’t aware at first of a second set of hands wrapping around me and tracing the lines and ridges of my defined abs.
I reached down, not really caring who they belonged to. This right here was what I needed to help me forget. The hands were much smaller and softer than those belonging to my current makeout partner. I tore myself away from him to look behind me. The blonde girl, Sophie’s friend, had decided to make her play for my cock. I had to hand it to her; she went after what she wanted.
I was drunk at this point. Not falling down or blacking out, but drunk enough not to be thinking. Not to care that she had her hands on me. I was numb and already turned on enough that stopping myself from burying my cock in someone tonight was an impossibility.
I’d probably regret it in the morning, but right now, I wasn’t thinking that way. I spun in mystery guy’s arms and crashed my mouth down against snobby blonde chick’s soft, pillowy lips. She tasted like some overly sweet drink as she returned the tongue fucking I was giving her with enthusiasm.
She pulled back breathlessly, her pupils blown from either lust or all the alcohol. Maybe both. She leaned forward, her lips grazing my ear as she shouted, “Let’s get out of here.” She leaned over to look at the man whose hands were currently wandering all over my chest and stomach as he dropped open-mouthed kisses along my neck. “Bring him with you,” she ordered.
If she thought she was calling the shots here, she was about to get quite a reality check. Still, I reached for the hand currently sliding down toward my waistband and wrapped my fingers around it, tugging him forward as I followed her through the crowd and toward the door.
As the cool air washed over me, I pulled out my phone, tapping out a text to my boys, letting them know I was getting out of here. I’d get my car back from Jericho tomorrow. “I hope you have liqu
or at your house,” I grumbled, feeling the colder air sober me up. That was not what I needed right now.
“I’ve got party favors, too,” Tall, Dark, and Mysterious added with a sexy little grin, patting his pocket.
The three of us piled into a cab and immediately became a jumble of hands and tongues. I wasn’t sure what belonged to who, and I didn’t give a fuck. It felt like two seconds later that we pulled up to a boring two-story house in the suburbs, even though it had to have taken at least forty-five minutes. Snobby Blonde Chick paid the driver, and we stopped our threesome in the making long enough to step out of the cab, leaving the cabbie shaking his head as he drove off.
We stumbled inside, and Tall, Dark, and Mysterious pulled a baggie out of his pocket. He moved to a small table in the entryway and took a credit card out of his pocket. He dumped some of the white powder out and tapped it into neat little lines. I’d only done coke a few times, but every time I liked it more than the last. The euphoria, the numbness, the fucking energy. Maybe that should’ve worried me, but it didn’t. It wasn’t like it was an everyday thing.
He offered Snobby Blonde Chick the first line, and she leaned over, sniffing it with a little cough. I went next, enjoying how it slid down the back of my throat and left a trail of numbness as it went. My heart sped up, and my dick hardened. I was ready to get this fucking party started, so I looked around, trying to keep myself upright as the room tilted. I leaned against the wall. Snobby Blonde Chick sauntered over to me and flung herself against my body, wrapping herself around me like a fucking octopus. I had to admire her enthusiasm.
“Where’s your bedroom?” I asked her between heated kisses, welcoming the numbness spreading through my body. My brain was fucking quiet, and the only emotion I felt was lust. Perfect.
“Down that hall,” she pointed behind her. “My parents are gone this weekend, and I’ve just wanted to hook up with you for, like, ever. I can’t believe this is happening and I, like, definitely am going to have sex with you tonight-”
“For the love of god, shut the fuck up,” I snapped, handing Snobby Blonde Chick off to Tall, Dark, and Mysterious as he came up behind her to sandwich her between us. She reached for him and glued her mouth to his as I watched, reaching past her to run my fingers along his well-toned side and sliding my fingertips down into his jeans.
I pushed off the wall, guiding us as a group down the hall and crashing through a door. I didn’t know if it belonged to her or someone else, and honestly, I didn’t give a shit. We fell onto the bed together, ripping at each other’s clothes in a drug-fueled haze. I closed my eyes and leaned over Blondie to lick Mysterious’s abs, enjoying every inch of smooth skin.
She moved down my body, unbuttoned my jeans, and reached inside to wrap her hand around my hard length. She pulled my boxer briefs down and licked the head of my cock, sucking it into her mouth, and I shivered as she started to move up and down.
But when I moved my body up and circled Mysterious’s nipple with my tongue, he moaned, and my eyes popped open, and all I could see were haunting doe eyes and freckles. I slid back, shoving Blondie off of my cock and throwing myself backward off the bed. I rubbed my hands down my face trying to wipe away the specter of Ryan’s face I hallucinated. My heart raced so hard, I worried it might actually explode in my chest.
“You’re not really here, Ryan,” I mumbled to the girl still visible behind my eyelids as I walked backward until my back bumped into the wall. “Fuck.”
They both gaped at me as if I’d grown a second head. “Who’s Ryan? And what are you doing?” Blondie finally demanded.
“Getting the fuck out of here.” I bolted from the room, putting my dick back into my jeans as I practically ran for the front door. My mind was a fucking mess, and the hole where my heart had once been was even worse. My streak of not touching women was officially over, and I was more haunted than ever. I felt like the biggest cheating asshole in the world. I hadn’t been fucked up enough for thoughts of Ryan not to break through. As I slammed the front door, taking deep, heaving breaths of air into my lungs in an effort to calm my galloping heart, I kicked a potted plant until it shattered. “Fuck!”
When the fuck was I ever going to be able to let Ryan go and move on with my life? Next time I needed to be more numb, but truthfully I wondered if I could do enough drugs before I killed myself to ever numb the only girl I’d ever love out of my heart.
3
True
My mom’s cheery voice was like an ice pick to the brain as she knocked on my door and told me breakfast was ready. I groaned and tightened the hold I had around Soph. She didn’t move a single muscle, and I chuckled, leaning closer and pressing soft kisses along her neck. “Wake up, Sophie. You need to sneak out before my mom picks the lock.”
“Five more minutes,” she mumbled into the pillow, swatting me away with her hand in an ineffective way that made me laugh.
“Nope.” I hopped up, wincing at the bright light and sudden movement that made the room spin a little. Damn, I hadn’t been this hungover in a while. Still, last night was worth it. Sophie didn’t sleep over very often—my parents would freak the fuck out if they caught her in my room. Between my little brother, Hale, and me, they were constantly harping on safe sex and not getting a girl pregnant before we were ready. I rolled my eyes at the memory of their last lecture.
I was always more than safe. Without fail. I had big plans, plans that were just now starting to take shape. And Hale did, too. As a sophomore, he was already the starting tight end on our football team and bigger than almost every kid on the field, including the competition. So neither one of us had any interest in knocking up a high school girl. Or any girl for that matter.
Sophie finally sat up with a groan after I nudged her again, being less nice about it and more wake-the-fuck-up-and-get-out instead. “You’ve gotta go, Soph. Now.”
“You’re eighteen, True. I don’t know why you can’t just, like, tell your mom I sometimes spend the night. It’s not, like, that big of a deal,” she huffed, crossing her arms under her tits and pushing them up. My eyes dropped automatically, and when I looked back up, she wore a knowing smirk.
I twisted my nose ring and sighed. “They don’t need to know, and I don’t feel like starting my graduation day off with another lecture. Besides, it’s not like your parents would be cool with me sleeping over at your house.”
She huffed as I stood up and grabbed her dress from the night before, tossing it to her. She climbed out of bed and shimmied into it, and I watched as the expensive fabric clung to her curves. Her shoes by the door were next as I handed her one insanely tall heel and then the other. She slipped them on her feet, teetering slightly as she reached out for me to balance herself.
I planted a quick peck on her lips and lifted open my window, keeping my hand on her lower back to steady her. The climb up the tree outside my bedroom window and onto the roof last night had been a fucking nightmare because we were both drunk. In the light of day, in that dress and those heels, I had no idea how she’d manage to get down. But she’d done it before, so I wasn’t overly worried.
Honestly, I was getting pretty fucking tired of Sophie. We’d been together for over a year, our entire senior year, and her whiny voice and neediness were starting to annoy the fuck out of me.
And for most of the year, she’d been a raging bitch to me. The only reason I put up with her shit was because she was a decent lay, and I wasn’t the kind of guy that typically fucked around with lots of different girls. I was a one-woman kind of dude, and Sophie had been it, thanks to her willingness to give it up to me. I was fully ready to kick her ass to the curb after graduation tonight, ready to start my new life with my three best friends and our shiny, new recording contract.
But Sophie overheard us talking about our first album, and she’d practically glued herself to my side ever since. It didn’t take Maddox’s sniped warnings about her trying to lock me down for me to see the calculation in her eyes when she looked a
t me. Nothing mattered more to Sophie than image and what people thought of her. We were prom queen and king after all, and she wouldn’t have it any other way. The way she saw me transformed from just some going nowhere surfer to her future meal ticket and claim to fame. Well, fuck that and fuck her.
Just in case she tried shit with me, every time I fucked her over the past month, I used two condoms and pulled out. And once I tossed my graduation cap in the air, I was done with her. I hoped the guys had one hell of a graduation party planned tonight, one that made last night at The Hub look tame by comparison. I was ready to let loose, to celebrate my freedom, and to look toward my bright as hell future.
After watching Sophie climb into her car and drive off, not feeling the slightest bit guilty it was the last time I’d ever see her that way, I hopped in the shower and tried to rinse off the night before. I still smelled faintly like cigarette smoke and strongly like stale alcohol. I scrubbed my skin until my mind began to clear, and the throbbing in my head subsided. Stepping out of the shower, I slung a towel low around my waist and let it collect the water running down my body. I preferred to air dry, but I didn’t have time this morning because lazy-ass Sophie took forever to leave.
Dressing quickly in a pair of shorts and a graphic tee, I skipped down the stairs to breakfast, where my brother was already stuffing his face with bacon. “Save some for me, jerk,” I jeered with a smack to the back of his head.
“Ow. Dick,” Hale grumbled under his breath so mom wouldn’t hear him. Sneaky bastard.
I pulled out the chair across from him and pulled a piece of bacon off his plate, stuffing it into my mouth.
“Hey!” he yelled, smacking my hand as I went for another one.
My mom, this not being her first day raising growing boys who were always hungry, set a full plate of food down in front of me. “Leave your brother’s plate alone.” She set the bottle of syrup down next to my plate. “And you owe him a piece of bacon.”
Shadow Phoenix: A Rock Star Romance Prequel Page 2
