She hugs me once more and then she’s gone. I’m staring after her like a loon.
Ky clears his throat. “Want to tell me what’s going on?”
I nod, gesturing toward the couch, and he follows me. We sit across from one another. “Rachel told me about her past. About the stuff she’s kept secret.” I drag a hand through my hair, my heart suddenly feeling like it’s weighed down with a ton of bricks. A sharp pain stretches across my chest.
“That’s what she’s telling Faye now?”
I nod. “Until she told me, Rachel hasn’t spoken about this to anyone. It’s some fucked-up shit, bro. Seriously, sick.” He leans forward on his elbows, waiting for me to elaborate. I draw a long breath. “Her brother abused her for years, and he’s done some crazy stuff to ensure her silence including threatening to rape her friends if she confided in them.” All the color drains from his face. “He turned up here tonight.” Ky bolts upright. “Rachel fell to pieces, but she finally admitted everything.”
“Shit, man. That’s …”
“I know.”
“I knew she had issues, but, fuck, that’s horrific. Stupid question, but is she okay?”
“She will be.”
He looks contemplative, and a strained silence wafts through the air. After a bit, he removes his phone and scrolls through his contacts.
“What are you doing?”
“Calling Dad’s security guy.”
“Already done.” He looks up. “I called Kev before I called you. He’s on it.”
“Did you ask him to organize protection for Faye too?”
Shit. “Ugh. No.” I scratch the top of my head. “Sorry. I didn’t think of her.”
He stares at me for a minute and then returns to his phone, tapping out a message, no doubt asking his brother to increase the number of bodyguards. Flinging the phone on the couch, he leans back and studies me.
“What?” All the tiny hairs raise on the back of my neck as he looks at me in that freaky way of his.
“I can’t believe you didn’t consider Faye. I thought you loved her.” His words are clipped.
So, we’re going there. Okay. Time to man up and fess up. I lean forward, staring him directly in the eye. “I thought I did too but I didn’t. I don’t.”
He rubs at his lower lip, never taking his eyes off my face. “Keep talking.”
I scrunch my shoulders up and down, trying to deflect the incoming stress. I’m way too sober for this conversation, but I’m not chickening out. I’m going to say what needs to be said. “I was pissed at you, man. In my eyes, you’ve always had things easy. You’re better than me at motocross, and you always get the girl. While I never had feelings for Addison, it pissed me off that she used me to get to you. In my fucked-up mind, it was another example of how I’m always second-best in comparison to you.” I pause for a breath, realizing I sound like an immature punk, but it’s how I’ve felt for so long, and I owe it to my buddy to be completely honest with him. I want to fix things between us, and I can’t until I get all this shit off my chest.
“When Faye came along, she was like a breath of fresh air. I liked her, but after it became obvious you were into her, it kinda became a challenge. I wanted her to choose me, to make me feel like I was as good as you. I should never have agreed to the fake relationship because it became too easy to imagine a relationship with her, and I liked the idea of it. When she made it clear she loved you, instead of accepting it and moving on, it’s as if I channeled all my frustration and resentment into wanting her. I built something up in my head that didn’t really exist.”
His brow creases. “So, you’re saying you didn’t really love her, but you were doing it to exact some form of revenge?”
I cringe when he puts it like that. “Subconsciously, yes. I never set out to intentionally hurt you. In fact, I think, in a twisted way, I enjoyed hurting myself. Like it was a form of punishment for not being good enough.”
“I think you should see my shrink. She’d fucking love you,” he drawls, but he doesn’t seem mad.
“That’s probably not a bad idea. All the stuff with my family messed with my head too. It’s like I was caught in this self-destructive bubble and there was no way out.”
“Until Rachel?” His guess is right on the money.
“Yeah, and getting my mom and sisters back. And maybe waking up and realizing I was hurting you and Faye and making myself miserable for no good reason.”
“But I saw the way you looked at her,” he cuts in, a solemn expression back on his face. “Like you loved her.”
“I think I did, a little, at the start, but not in the same way you love her, or in the way I would love her if she was the one. Mostly, I looked at her the way I wanted to look at someone.”
“You’ve lost me.”
It’s so hard to explain this, when I’m only figuring things out myself. “I want what you have with her. I want to look at a girl like she rocks my fucking universe. Like everything starts and ends with her. I want to see my future mapped out in her eyes. I want to love her so much that I’d willingly slaughter everyone in the world to keep her safe.”
“I would slaughter any fucker who threatened my girl, starting with Rachel’s brother,” Ky agrees.
“Don’t think the thought hasn’t crossed my mind. The only thing keeping me from going after his perverted ass was the girl sobbing in my arms. She needed me more than I needed vengeance.”
“Things seem solid between you.”
I shrug. “I guess, but we haven’t spoken about it, and I don’t want to put that pressure on her.”
“But you want it? You want that with Rachel?”
I can’t believe we’re having this conversation. We’ve turned into two pussies, but all I can do is smile. “Yeah. Yeah, I really do.”
The look of utter relief on his face is impossible to miss. He scrubs a hand over his jaw. “And you don’t love my girlfriend?”
“I don’t love her any more than a friend, and I’m so sorry for what I’ve put you through. I’ve been a shitty friend, and I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted nothing more to do with me.”
“Tempting as that is, motherfucker, I’ve missed your grumpy face.”
“Likewise, douche.” We’re both grinning as we stand up, and I pull him into an awkward hug. As quickly as we joined, we pull apart.
“That was a pussy move. Don’t do it again,” he jokes.
We shoot the breeze for the next hour, talking quietly in between watching the game on the TV, but Rachel is never far from my thoughts.
When the girls emerge from Rachel’s bedroom just after midnight, with their arms wrapped around one another, they have matching red, tearstained faces. I mute the TV and open my arms for Rach. Faye slides onto Ky’s lap, burying her face in his shoulder. I pull Rachel onto my lap, rubbing a hand up and down her back. “You okay?”
She sniffles, but her features look more relaxed than earlier. “Surprisingly, yes. I never thought telling people the truth would give me such a sense of … relief. I mean, it’s hard repeating everything, but it’s kinda therapeutic too. And you were right.”
“I usually am.”
She fights a smile. “She wasn’t cross at all. She totally understood even though she wishes I hadn’t shouldered the burden alone.”
“Did she have any inkling?”
She shakes her head. “No, but she said my brother always gave her the creeps.”
I tuck her hair behind her ears. “It’s late, and it’s been a difficult day. Why don’t we go to bed, and we can make more concrete plans in the morning?”
“I’d like that.” A yawn slips out of her lush mouth.
I stand up, holding her close to me. “You’re staying with me.” I want to be crystal clear on that fact. There’s no way I’m leaving her alone tonight. Not after the day she’s ha
d. Her answering smile is radiant, and I bask in the glow.
“We’re calling it a night,” she tells Ky and Faye. “You should stay. You can have your old room, Ky.”
Faye whispers in his ear. “We’ll do that, thanks,” he confirms.
Faye hops up, pulling Rachel into her arms. Her tears well up again, and she talks in a low tone. “I love you like a sister, Rach. I always have. I know you have Brad, but if you need me during the night, come get me. I may not have been there for you when all that was going down, but I’m here for you now.”
“I know, and I love you too.” Her voice is thick with emotion. Ky and I share a look, and it feels good to be back on the same page.
My cell pings in my pocket and I remove it, opening the text from Keven.
I’m downstairs. Buzz me up.
“Kev,” I mouth to Ky as I walk to the kitchen and press the button to let him in. The girls are still huddled together, whispering, hugging, and crying as Ky and I discreetly wait for Kev in the hallway. I steal to the door, unlocking it in slow-mo so the girls don’t hear.
I spot a guy in the corner of the corridor, blending into the shadows. He nods subtly in our direction, and I breathe a sigh of relief. Thank fuck for the Kennedys, their money, and their connections. The elevator chimes and the doors slide open. Kev’s face is an unreadable mask as he strides toward us. Ky and I exchange another look. Calling at this hour of night doesn’t bode well, and I’m bracing myself for the next hit.
He slips quietly into the apartment, closing the door over after him. “Where’s Rachel?” he whispers.
“The girls are in there.” Ky gestures over his shoulder, also whispering. “What’s going on, Kev?”
“I’ve discovered something, and I think she needs to hear this.”
“No.” It’s hard to sound authoritative when whispering, but I think Kev gets my message. “Unless it’s life or death, we’re not upsetting her any more tonight. She’s dealing with too much as it is.”
“I want to know,” Rachel says from behind me, and I curse under my breath.
A muscle clenches in Kev’s jaw. Ky shuts the door firmly. “Let’s talk in the living room.”
I walk to Rachel’s side and she instantly leans into me, lacing her fingers in mine. At any other time, I’d mentally fist-pump the air, but this situation is too serious for competitive bullshit.
Kev stands in front of her, and his features soften. I’ve never seen him look so demonstrative. “I hate what happened to you, and I’m so fucking sorry that I failed you.”
She touches his arm. “You didn’t fail me. Not at all. You’ve done so much to help me these last few weeks, and you have nothing to be sorry for.”
I wish I had been the one protecting her, but I don’t blame Rach for turning to Kev. He had the skills she needed, and I was being a jackass, so it’s no surprise she didn’t look to me. But I’m going to make sure I’m the one keeping her safe from now on.
“You doing okay?”
“I’m as well as can be expected, better, maybe. I’m so glad it’s all out in the open. I don’t feel so alone.”
Her words cut holes in my heart. I kiss her temple. “You’re not alone. We’re all in this with you now.”
She grasps my hand, and we move into the living area. The four of us sit down, but Kev remains standing. Faye looks exhausted, resting her head on Ky’s shoulder. I slide my arm around Rachel’s back, virtually gluing her to my side. If Kev’s about to drop another bombshell, I’m going to help keep her together.
“I’ve been doing some digging, and I’ve discovered some information I felt you needed to know.” He rubs the back of his neck. “I presume you weren’t aware that your brother has been expelled from college?”
Rachel jerks upright. “What? Like properly expelled. Not just suspended?”
“It appears so.”
“Why?” Her voice is calm and low.
Kev’s face contorts sourly, and I strengthen my hold on her. “Your brother is under criminal investigation for rape.”
Chapter Thirty-One
Rachel
“According to the police report I read, one girl has alleged she was raped after he drugged her on a date, but I’ve discovered an online student forum where other girls are claiming the same thing happened to them. This is going to snowball, and everyone is going to find out who he really is,” Kev explains.
“That’s why he changed his identity and came here. It’s as much to do with staying out of jail as it is about finding me,” I supply.
“Don’t underestimate your importance to him. Not with the things you’ve told me he said,” Faye says. “I’m no expert, but he’s clearly mentally unsound, and there’s no telling what he’ll do.”
“Which is why all three of you have been assigned bodyguards,” Kev confirms. “He’s not getting anywhere near any of you.”
I slide off the sofa and walk to Kev, circling my arms around his waist. “Thank you so much.”
“Hey, you don’t need to thank me. This is what we do for family, and you’re a part of that now in the same way Brad is. We look after our own.”
I take my time in the bathroom getting ready for bed as my mind churns at a hundred miles an hour. It’s a wonder I haven’t thrown up, considering how sickened I feel.
“Red, you okay in there?” Brad softly calls out.
I finish brushing my teeth and open the door. “I’m okay. Just thinking.”
He’s standing before me in form-fitting black boxers, all ripped and muscular, looking like he just stepped off the pages of Sports Illustrated. Damn. He’s one fine specimen of manhood. There isn’t an ounce of fat anywhere on his magnificent body. I lick my lips and my libido starts singing. After the day I’ve had, the fact I can feel anything even close to lust is testament to the magnetic pull of this gorgeous guy.
As I continue ogling him, I notice the growing arousal in his pants, but he makes no reference to it or the fact I’m shamelessly treating him like eye candy. Silently, he takes my hand and steers me to the bed. Once I’m all tucked in, he slides in beside me, immediately pulling me in close to his side.
A layer of stress is alleviated at the bodily contact. Brad feeds my body, mind, and soul. While now isn’t the time to define what we mean to each other, after what he said earlier, I’m pretty confident his feelings for me are genuine.
“What are you thinking?” he asks in a hushed tone after a little while.
“Do you want the smutty or non-smutty reply?”
He laughs quietly before his voice turns grave. “I want a truthful reply. You’ve dealt with a lot today. No one would fault you for caving under the strain.”
I sigh deeply. “I think I was holding my own until Kev showed up. Now I’m feeling massive guilt.”
He twists on his side, and I do the same so we’re facing one another. “You have nothing to feel guilty about.”
“I want to believe that, but is it the truth? If I’d spoken up about what my brother was doing to me, then he’d never have had the chance to hurt those other girls. That means I’m partly responsible.”
“No, you’re not.” He vehemently shakes his head. “You couldn’t speak up because he threatened you and threatened people you love.”
“I should have been braver, Brad. I should’ve done the right thing.”
“You were young, Rachel, and hurting so much. You did the best you could, and it’s not your fault that those girls were hurt. The only person responsible for that is your brother.”
“Maybe.” I nibble on my lip, deep in thought. A few minutes pass in silence. His fingers weave in and out of my hair and I love how it feels. Heat creeps up my neck and onto my cheeks. “Can I ask you something?” I whisper before I lose my nerve.
He palms my cheek. “You can ask me anything, anytime.”
My
cheeks stain a deeper shade of red. “Will you make love to me?” He looks torn, and then his expression turns pitiful. “Don’t. Don’t look at me like that.”
“Like what, beautiful?”
I remove his hand from my face. “Like I’m damaged goods.”
“That’s not what I think. I just don’t want to hurt you.”
I prop up on one elbow, and my hair tumbles over one shoulder. “I’ve never had a healthy, normal attitude to sex because he stole that from me. But with you I feel desirable, and I feel things the way I should feel them. You make my body come alive, and I need that now, Brad. I need to feel desired. I need your touch to erase the memories of his touch.” I put my hands on his chest. “I wouldn’t dream of asking you this if I thought you weren’t into it, but”—I deliberately focus on his straining erection—“you clearly are because I haven’t even touched you and you’re fit to burst out of your boxers. If you’re saying no out of some misguided sense of protection, know you’d hurt me more by refusing than you ever could by sliding inside me.”
He smashes his lips against mine, reeling me in flush to his body. “I’m sold, babe. I’m all yours, and I’m going to worship your body for as long as you need me to.”
Those are the last words spoken for a very long time. Slowly and carefully we remove the rest of our clothing until we’re both naked. He takes his time, kissing, licking, and nipping his way down my body, lavishing my breasts with care and attention, and I’m moaning and writhing underneath him. The blissful sensations he’s evoking in me are all I’m thinking about, and it’s exactly what I need.
He’s a solid block of velvety smooth muscle in my hand, and my strokes are slow and deliberate until he gently pushes me down on my back and goes to town on me with his mouth and his fingers. My climax rattles through me a few minutes later, and it’s the most intense, most orgasmic, experience of my life. Then he’s suited up and sliding inside me, and that wonderful pressure is quick to build again. I can feel every inch of him inside me as he thrusts, and the look of lust in his eyes no doubt mirrors my own.
Saving Brad (The Kennedy Boys Book 5) Page 25
