by Cat Miller
“I love you, Lindsay. You’re mine. I’m not walking away again. Even if it’s the right thing to do, and even if it makes me the worst kind of bastard. I need you. This body,” he pumped her hard a few times, “is mine. This heart,” he bent to place a kiss over her breast bone, “is mine. But guess what?” he asked with a small smile on his sexy wide mouth.
Tears trickled down the side of Lindsay’s face as she replied, “What?”
“I belong to you, too. Right? Isn’t that what you told me?” he asked, and a touch of insecurity threaded through the one word question. He slowed just a bit, and his eyes searched hers for the answer he needed to hear. He still felt like he was taking advantage of her. He was giving himself to her in exchange for everything he wanted to take. Lindsay gave her man a watery smile.
“Right, I told you the last time I saw you that you’re mine. I don’t know what took you so long to accept it. I’ll cut a bitch for fucking with my man,” Lindsay assured him. Kayden chuckled. So did Lindsay. That caused her sex to tighten around his cock. Kayden groaned and set up a deeper, more frantic pace.
“Ah fuck. Can’t go easy now, Lindsay. I waited too long.” His body pinned her to the bed. She felt surrounded and safe in Kayden’s arms.
“I need you. Please,” she urged him on.
The pressure grew and grew until Lindsay thought she would split apart from the strain. His thrusts were demanding and relentless. Kayden’s assault on her body went on until Lindsay was no longer able to think of anything but what he was doing to her body. She had come again and again while Kayden worked her over; drawing every ounce of pleasure from her body he could pull from it.
The world spun for the second time that night when Kayden rolled them so Lindsay was straddling his hips. He was thrusting up into her. The muscles in his neck strained as he spoke, “I’m going to come for you, baby. Take it from me. Show me you want it.”
Lindsay didn’t think she could climax again, but Kayden’s hot words changed that in an instant. He cupped her breasts as she bounced, finding her rhythm. His hands moved down her ribcage to her hips where they rested as he devoured her body with his eyes. Lindsay rode him hard. They met each other thrust for thrilling thrust. Kayden’s thumb slid down to rub firm circles over her clit, and she exploded. Her body seized. Her pussy clutched his cock and Kayden shouted his release along with her. He spoke to her as his orgasm ripped through him. He told her how beautiful she was and how much he needed her. He told Lindsay he believed she was the strongest female he’d ever known.
“Please, forgive me for being a selfish bastard, Hellion. I’m never letting you go.”
Lindsay collapsed onto Kayden’s chest. She couldn’t move. She didn’t want to move. He was still thick inside of her, and she wanted to stay just like that, in that moment for as long as she could. Kayden was holding her to his chest and caressing her back when Lindsay realized she hadn’t returned the sentiment. She might have known it since that night he held her while she fell apart in her cell. She’d been sure of it since before they were separated by that fucking doctor. Lifting her head, she looked into Kayden’s sleepy hazel eyes.
“I love you, Kayden. I have since South Carolina. I was so afraid I was just another girl.” She blinked back tears. “I love you. I always will,” she admitted with her heart in her eyes.
Kayden blinked as well, taking in her admission. His nostrils flared, and wildness lit his eyes. His cock inside of her was suddenly stiff, and his hips swiveled. He flipped them, so she was beneath him again.
“Baby, you can’t say things like that to a man and not expect him to show you exactly why you aren’t ‘just another girl’.” Kayden kissed Lindsay deeply and to her astonishment, began pumping into her body again. “I love you, and I’m going to spend forever proving it.”
Seventeen
Lindsay was so anxious when Kayden pulled up to his parents’ home that you’d think she was about to walk out on stage naked, instead of meeting Kayden’s group of human-vampire hybrid friends, otherwise known as the Horde, for the first time. Lindsay was already familiar with Kayden’s parents. Although, when she’d met them she hadn’t been aware they were Kayden’s parents, and Lindsay met them separately, so she hadn’t known they were a couple until Gage showed up one day to take Koren home from therapy. Lindsay had been shocked when Gage bent to kiss the ethereal blonde because, for one, she’d believed Koren was in her mid-twenties when in actuality she was eighty-two years old. Gage looked to be at least ten years older than Koren. Imagine Lindsay’s surprise when Koren admitted that Gage had robbed the cradle. Gage was more than twice Koren’s age. Koren smiled wistfully when she told Lindsay how she’d ignored Gage when they first met. She had been young, and she’d recently had her heart broken. So the much older, extremely bossy male who had every female in the nation falling all over themselves to get his attention had absolutely no appeal for Koren, even if he was heart-stoppingly handsome. It had taken some time for Gage to win Koren, and she had never regretted taking a second chance with her heart.
Aging gracefully was apparently the vampire way. Lindsay now looked at everyone with a more cynical eye. Often, the way a vampire carried themselves and spoke was more of a clue to their age than their appearance. The saying that opposites attract had to be right because Koren and Gage were undeniably devoted to each other and they were complete opposites. Koren was warm and friendly where Gage was hard and distant. Gage was tall, dark, and scary. Koren was like a golden summer day, all gentle breezes and smiles. Gage was the chief who led the warriors of the nation from the Enclave Lindsay now called home. He was an intimidating hulk of a man with muscles on his muscles. Gage only spoke when something needed to be said. Koren had a smile and a kind word for everyone.
Lindsay believed Koren was another girl who was also in therapy after her experience with David. They’d become acquainted over the mutual misery they shared. Thankfully, Koren had only been subjected to the Shade Army’s hospitality for a single day, but it had been a painful day that left Koren physically broken. Koren and Lindsay bonded over their mutual hate of therapy that neither of them felt they needed, but they were enduring anyway. Koren wasn’t being forced to sit through it by the council. It was her mate who pleaded with her to speak to the therapist. Gage had a lot of guilt over the trauma Koren had survived, so she went to the counseling sessions to put him at ease. According to Koren, love was about giving and taking, even if you don’t want what you must take or you truly need what you were offering for yourself. Your mate’s needs would always be paramount in your heart and mind. Now that Lindsay knew Koren was Kayden’s mother, she understood why he was such a reliable man. Kayden was raised by two incredible people.
When Lindsay asked Koren why they hadn’t told Kayden that she was there at the Enclave—fearing they didn’t approve of her for their son—Koren gave Lindsay an answer she’d never forget.
“Some loves are written in the stars. Others are washed away by the sand. We knew you were Kayden’s star and he would find you when the time was right.” Koren had explained.
“Where did you go?” Kayden asked, and he leaned over the console between the front seats to kiss the corner of her mouth.
“Huh?” she replied lamely and snapped her attention back to him.
Kayden chuckled. “I didn’t want to interrupt your deep thoughts, but my mom is peeking out the window like a worried … well, like a worried mother. Are you okay? We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.” Kayden seemed nearly as nervous as Lindsay was to see how she would mix with his people. “It’s just that I spend so much of my time with the Horde that I thought you might want to, I don’t know, get to know them, too, I guess.”
Kayden was concerned that he was pushing Lindsay too hard. She knew it, but she was ready for this meeting. Lindsay hoped they were ready to meet her, too. If Kayden’s closest friends didn’t like her, it wouldn’t bode well for Lindsay. The relationship between Lindsay and Kayden was so new
that she still feared he would change his mind about being with a damaged woman. If the Horde didn’t accept her, it would be just one more strike against her. She had to admit to feeling a little more confident knowing she wasn’t the only one with her stomach in knots. Kayden really wanted Lindsay to like his people. He was a leader, and as his girlfriend, Lindsay would have a lot of interaction with the Horde. The name was apt because there were hundreds of them according to Kayden, and their numbers were steadily growing. Now that the word was out about a group of hybrids living together and protecting each other, new people were showing up every day. Hawk was trying to find them a permanent base because their current set up wouldn’t work much longer. They all needed a real home.
Lindsay knew Kayden meant what he’d said about taking her home and he wouldn’t be upset with her at all. If anything, Kayden would be upset with himself. If she weren’t ready to be confronted with a big crowd of people, he would take her home. The problem was Lindsay didn’t have a real home. He would turn the car around and drive back to the Enclave. He would walk her back to her lonely room on a base where nobody spoke to her, and she had nothing to do. They had little to no privacy at the Enclave and Lindsay was sick of it. She wanted to be where Kayden was now. He was a busy man with many people looking up to him. The amount of responsibility he’d taken on was incredible for someone his age. He wanted to share his free time with Lindsay. By some miracle, they were together. After everything she’d survived, Lindsay was finally back on her feet and no longer afraid of everyone around her. She had a new focus in her life and a reason to want to become a member of the Vampire Nation that Kayden had been born into. Kayden wanted her and Lindsay didn’t think she could breathe if she lost him again. This had to work out. It just had to.
“I’m sorry, babe.” Lindsay placed her hand over his on her leg. “I’m all in my own head worried about your friends not liking me.” She blushed.
“What? Are you crazy? They’ll love you.” He kissed her softly. “Not as much as I do, but they’ll love you.”
“Then why are you so nervous?”
“It’s that obvious, huh?”
“Just a little. If you think they’ll like me why are you worried?”
“I don’t know. I guess it’s just that I know where you came from, you know? What if you don’t like them? We’re a bunch of misfits camping in the woods. I bet you’ve never even seen the inside of a tent.”
“Where I came from?” Lindsay wrinkled her brow. “Why does it matter if I haven’t been camping?”
“You know what I mean.” Kayden sighed and turned to look through the windshield. “You’re used to having maids and a butler. You grew up with cocktail parties and ballet. A mess tent in the center of a camping village in the woods is a serious downgrade from that lifestyle.”
Lindsay had to count to ten before she responded. He might not intend to be hurtful, but Kayden was accusing her of being a snob. Lindsay was continually trying to convince herself that she was good enough for Kayden. Now he was saying she thought she was too good? It did hurt, and that made her angry. She wasn’t an elitist, and she’d never given him any reason to believe she was. She frowned at the side of his head while he glared at the front of his family home. It wasn’t until she noticed the flush on his cheeks that Lindsay began to understand. Maybe, just maybe, Kayden had some of the same reservations as Lindsay. Was it plausible he worried that he might not be what she needs in the long run? Could he be concerned that he wasn’t enough for Lindsay?
“Kayden, let’s get something straight. I can’t help where I was born any more than you or anyone else. You shouldn’t judge me for my upbringing. I’m honestly not much different than anyone else our age. Yes, I went to private schools and my parents are wealthy, but I went to a regular college like everyone else my age and stayed in a dorm and went to parties and ate junk food like everyone else. Nobody I went to college with knew anything about me. I wasn’t the rich kid or a socialite. I enjoyed being anonymous for the first time in my life. Look at me now, Kayden. I’m alone in this world. Does that sound high-class to you? I haven’t seen my parents since …” She had to stop and think about how long it had been. The period she’d lost while in captivity had affected her sense of time. Lindsay blinked back tears. She was ashamed of what she was about to admit. “I hadn’t seen or even spoken to my parents for roughly a year and a half before I was taken. Does that sound like a happy life to you?”
Lindsay was the one sighing now. She wasn’t sure she even knew what happiness was. Only the time she spent with Kayden had ever really given her any real joy. The rest of her life had been endless duties and responsibilities. Then it all ended one day with a flash of fangs.
“My poor little warrior.” Kayden finally turned back to her and nestled her cheek in his hand. “You were alone for too long. I hope you know you aren’t alone in this world. You have me now. As far as your parents’ absence, I think it’s time we look into why they weren’t hunting for you, don’t you think? I see the hurt in your eyes. I hear the disappointment in your voice. Maybe some closure in that department would help you move on.”
“I am moving on. You seem to be the one trying to hold me to my past.”
“I-I didn’t mean it that way.” He exhaled a frustrated breath. “I’m fucking this day all up. This isn’t about you. It’s about me being worried that I won’t be able to give you the life you deserve.”
“Kayden, I don’t know what you think I need. All I’ve asked for was you.”
“What if your folks want you back when they learn what you’ve been through?”
“It doesn’t matter what they want, and we both know I can’t tell them what happened to me. Not really. I don’t want to talk about them now.” Lindsay didn’t want to tell Kayden what had happened when she went home to find that answer for herself. It was too mortifying to admit that she didn’t believe her parents had even known she’d disappeared from the face of the Earth for nearly two years now.
“I’ll catch up with my parents when I feel like I have a more solid direction in my life. It doesn’t really matter.” Lindsay smiled and tried to play off her hurt. “The point is that isn’t the life I want anymore. Not now that I know there are other options. I don’t need tea parties and the opera. I don’t want it either. What I want is right here with you, wherever that is, no matter what that means. I love you, and we’re together. That’s all I need. In a mess tent or a ballroom, it doesn’t matter as long as you’re holding my hand.”
Kayden’s smile emerged like the sun breaking through the clouds after a storm. It was warm and full of hope for a brighter day. “I plan on being the male to help you find that new, more solid direction. For now, how about we go say hello to Mom before you make some friends?”
“That sounds like a plan.” Lindsay returned Kayden’s smile. She was suddenly no longer nervous. She’d already conquered so many fears and pushed through when many others would have collapsed under the weight of it all. These people, this Horde, were just like Lindsay in many ways. They were people looking for a new beginning in the Vampire Nation. She would remember that now.
Kayden came around to open her door and help her out of the car. He was a gentleman like that, but that didn’t mean he hadn’t slapped her ass and whispered his dirty intentions for later in the evening into her ear on the way up his parents’ driveway. Yeah, he was naughty, and she loved every minute of it. Kayden made her feel whole again. He didn’t see her as fragile or broken. He made her feel sexy and worthy of love.
He threaded his fingers through hers and pulled her through the heavy wooden door of his childhood home with a look of pride on his face. Lindsay didn’t know if that was pride in her or in his home and family, but she liked to think it was both. She relaxed. This was her life now. Kayden and everything that came along with him was her future. This feeling was precisely what Koren had been describing when she spoke of love. Kayden wasn’t her mate, and she didn’t know if he ever would
be, but he’d become the center of her universe. His joy was hers as well. His needs were paramount in her heart and mind. Kayden was her one true love. She felt it so profoundly at that moment that she just had to tell him so.
“Kayden,” she said, pulling him to a stop in the middle of his parents’ great room.
“Yes, baby?” He turned to her, still smiling.
“You are my one true love,” Lindsay admitted with her heart in her throat. “I just needed to say it.”
Kayden peered down at her with those soulful green eyes and his smile slipped. He blinked a few times but said nothing. Lindsay was suddenly embarrassed. She shouldn’t have blurted that out. He looked frightened now.
“Never mind.” She cast her gaze down at the area of hardwood floor between her feet. The last thing she wanted was for Kayden to feel pressured.
Kayden lifted Lindsay’s chin with one finger. When their eyes met, he blinked twice before a slow smile spread across his too handsome face. He placed a tender kiss on her lips.
“Lindsay, baby, it’s just that I’ve been trying to find a way to bring up a subject that’s important to me. It’s important to my people. I’ve been worried that it’s too soon or maybe you wouldn’t understand the importance of the question. Now that you’ve handed me the perfect opportunity, I’m a little anxious about what your answer will be.”
“You should never be afraid to talk to me about anything, Kayden.” Lindsay gazed back into his eyes. “I just wanted you to know that no matter what happens I’ll never love anyone the way I do you. Before you came back to me, I was prepared to spend my life alone, because I knew I’d never find another man like you. So why bother?” Lindsay blinked back fresh tears. “You don’t have to return my sentiments. I just needed to say it.” She knew she was blushing but couldn’t help it.
Kayden wiped away the one tear that had slipped her control and ran down Lindsay’s cheek. She was so emotional. She’d never been a crier before, but Kayden brought out all of her most tender feelings.
