“Oh God. It’ll be like Clouseau and Cato!”
“I’ll tell her to charge me for some pruning gauntlets and sedatives. For her.”
“Looks like we have a plan, then,” Laurie said.
Jamie hugged her again and they walked out of the station, hand in hand, only to find Laurie couldn’t get back through the ticket barrier until she’d bought another single.
“You know, this reunion was written by fate. Hattie said she knew we had a future, as she’s psychic,” Laurie said, once they’d extricated themselves from the admin.
“If Hattie’s psychic, why did she date the lad in our twenties who pretended to be an heir to the Farmfoods fortune, and ended up rinsing her savings and disappearing to Worcester, until the fraud squad caught up with him, watching scat porn in a Premier Inn?”
“Maybe she had to date him, to find her way to Padraig?”
“Too heavy a price. And I like Padraig.”
Laurie put her hand in Jamie’s free one and pulled him to a stop.
“Do you know. I’ve had the maddest, craziest idea, and you’ll say LOL NO but hear me out on it seeming hasty. Particularly as I’d like your parents to be there. Do you fancy getting married?”
“LOL NO!” Jamie said. “Uhm. Kidding. But shouldn’t I propose?”
“Not necessarily in this day and age.”
“You’re seriously proposing to me? We’ve only been a proper couple for a weekend!”
“I’m less respectful of what you’re supposed to do, these days, if you get me. If we discover we’re horrendously ill suited after two years of bickering about overspending on the food shop and picking up wet towels, think of the fun we’ll have had before we realize? If this is a mistake, think how much fun we’ll have making it?”
“The speech is writing itself!”
“And, you know, if it’s a no, I will cope fine. It struck me as a thing I’d really enjoy doing.” She grinned up at him. He had the same look on his face as he did at the final chords of “Purple Rain.” There, they had the first dance sorted already. “I appreciate I’m asking you to go from someone who despised marriage to someone charging into one. But that’s me, now. I ask for a lot.”
Jamie reached up and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. Laurie felt loved, and, more than that, she’d remembered how to love herself. She wanted his answer to be yes, but a no wouldn’t change either of those things.
“Yes. My answer is yes. I will marry you. Can I ask you back? Feels proper. Laurie Watkinson, will you marry me?”
“Yes!”
They stopped, embraced, and kissed, the Christmas Eve crowds flowing around them, Jamie’s bag at their feet, while they stayed a fixed point, a moment in time. An irritable commuter tutted, in a broad Manc drawl. “Get a fuckin’ room.” And they laughed and carried on kissing.
Many ages of Lauries had walked through Piccadilly, since she was a little girl in fact. She liked this one best. Whatever happened in the future, Laurie would never forget the lessons of these months. She was a survivor of some difficult things, and she was happy.
They walked down the hill, hand in hand.
“My best friend Emily can give me away.”
“And Hattie can be my best man.”
“I like making up our own rules. Let’s keep doing that.”
Minutes later, over engagement champagnes in the Refuge, under tiles that declared THE GLAMOUR OF MANCHESTER, Laurie managed to make a phone ring in a province of Indonesia.
“Emily. You know how we said we had to define what happiness looks like for ourselves? Without fear of judgment? Now, there’s been no eggnog, but. Please remain as calm as possible.”
Acknowledgments
Something I’m learning on my sixth (sixth!) outing is that each book is its own unique beast and the process works differently each time. If I Never Met You was unusual because: (1) I somehow managed to never hate it, even when it was giving me serious trouble; and (2) it very much came together in the editing, which is a posh way of saying it needed a fair bit of work. On the latter point, huge thanks must go to my dedicated editor, Martha Ashby, who never lets me nap on the job and gives each book her 100 percent. I really appreciate it and the end result is so much better for her tireless efforts. There you go, M, read that back to me next time I am howling NOOOOO about a note.
Once again, big up to brilliant copy editor Keshini Naidoo whose thoughtfulness and humor makes her pass through the manuscript a pleasure.
My sincerest thanks to the whole HarperCollins family—the positivity and encouragement I get is truly special; please know you have a grateful author here. (I’d start naming individuals but, let’s be honest, that’s an etiquette minefield. But if you think I mean you, then I definitely mean you.)
On the agenting side, I benefit from not only the capability but the friendship of Doug Kean at Gunn Media—here’s to you, sir!
Particular thanks to poet and novelist Kim Addonizio for generous permission to quote a line from her work “To the Woman Crying Uncontrollably in the Next Stall.”
If I Never Met You required me to describe some aspects of being a solicitor, and my dear friend Serena Mandair helped me plenty, even as she was rushing around actually being a lawyer while I asked dumb questions. Thanks, Serry—any mistakes are mine!
Also, finally, a correction: in my last book, in some sort of Prosecco-clouded fugue state, I forgot to thank Sarah Brown who gave me tons of help when I stole the idea of her cool show “Cringe.” So sorry, Sarah, whenever you’re next in the UK, the drinks are definitely on me.
“What would your twin brother do?” came from a conversation with the relentlessly inspirational Sally Thorne, an author whom I was lucky enough to share events with in Toronto—thank you for your company and your wisdom.
Gratitude as always to my first draft readers: Tara, Sean, Ewan, Katie, Kristy Berry—I’d find this SO much harder without you, and that’s the truth.
Thank you to my friends and family who cheer me on, and especially to Alex, who lives the highs and lows of the creative process with the “temperamental artist,” heh heh, oh dear.
And thank you to readers who keep buying my books. I don’t want to end on a note that makes it sound like I think I’m Taylor Swift but, my God, I feel so lucky: bless you all.
P. S. Insights, Interviews & More . . .*
About the Author
* * *
Meet Mhairi McFarlane
About the Book
* * *
Author’s Note
Reading Group Guide
About the Author
Meet Mhairi McFarlane
Sunday Times bestselling author MHAIRI McFARLANE was born in Scotland, and her unnecessarily confusing name is pronounced Vah-Ree. After some efforts at journalism, she started writing novels, and her first book, You Had Me at Hello, was an instant success. She’s now written six books, and she lives in Nottingham with a man and a cat.
Discover great authors, exclusive offers, and more at hc.com.
About the Book
Author’s Note
Dear Reader,
Hi, and I so hope you enjoyed If I Never Met You! (I mean it, I really do. This never gets less nerve-racking, it turns out.) Something I’m learning as an author is that no matter how much you think you’re in control of the process of a book, the story to some extent decides what it wants to be. So despite the premise of this romance being ostensibly light, it touches on some heavy themes. Only after I’d finished it did I realize I was writing about two people who’d experienced damage in their lives. (I’m deliberately phrasing that “damage in their lives” rather than “damaged people,” which I hate—they’re not imperfect items you’d return in a shop.)
Despite thinking they’re superficially very different, Laurie and Jamie discover they have deep similarities. As well as falling in love, they help each other to come to terms with things they’d not faced up to before.
So, if I were running y
our book group—firstly, there’d be lots of Prosecco and probably a cat, and secondly, there’d be these questions . . .
—Mhairi
Reading Group Guide
Laurie and Dan separate after many years together, but no marriage or children. Later down the line, Laurie reflects that although she thought their partnership was very equal and modern, she in fact played the grown-up, and indulged Dan. Does this ring true to you? Is equality about more than shared bills? Is the opposite also true: You could be in a more old-fashioned relationship but equal in other ways?
Laurie is motivated by revenge when she embarks on the “showmance” with Jamie. Have you ever been angry enough at anyone, ex or otherwise, you could’ve imagined doing something that crazy?
Laurie’s friend Emily counsels against the fake relationship as it’s lying—and, she says, lying always comes back to haunt you. Do you think that’s true, in your experience?
Laurie and Jamie use social media to conduct their showmance—at one point, Laurie describes it all as a bluff, as if they’re celebrities of their own creation. Do you think Instagram, Facebook, and so on give people a false impression of others’ lives? Do your social media accounts honestly reflect your life, or do you feel pressure to make it look more exciting than it is?
A lifelong settled monogamist, Laurie discovers she’s treated differently by men at work and by women in her social circle once she becomes single. Can you imagine this happening too, or do you feel your status in the world is completely unconnected to whether you’re coupled up?
Laurie chooses to end her relationship with her father once and for all in the story. She decides that, blood ties or not, some people shouldn’t be given limitless chances to hurt you. Do you agree? Have you ever had to end a family relationship, or put tighter boundaries on one?
Phew, and to end on a lighter note ☺ . . . When I had to give notes for the jacket artwork for the book, I said Laurie and Jamie look like the actors playing Missandei and Robb Stark in Game of Thrones. Who did you picture them as? Cast my movie! Thank you. xx
Also by Mhairi McFarlane
You Had Me at Hello
Here’s Looking at You
It’s Not Me, It’s You
Who’s That Girl?
Don’t You Forget About Me
Copyright
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
P.S.™ is a trademark of HarperCollins Publishers.
IF I NEVER MET YOU. Copyright © 2020 by Mhairi McFarlane. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.
Cover design and illustration by Vikki Chu
FIRST EDITION
Digital Edition MARCH 2020 ISBN: 978-0-06-295856-3
Version 02062020
Print ISBN: 978-0-06-295850-1
Print ISBN: 978-0-06-301591-3 (international edition)
About the Publisher
Australia
HarperCollins Publishers Australia Pty. Ltd.
Level 13, 201 Elizabeth Street
Sydney, NSW 2000, Australia
www.harpercollins.com.au
Canada
HarperCollins Publishers Ltd
Bay Adelaide Centre, East Tower
22 Adelaide Street West, 41st Floor
Toronto, Ontario, M5H 4E3
www.harpercollins.ca
India
HarperCollins India
A 75, Sector 57
Noida
Uttar Pradesh 201 301
www.harpercollins.co.in
New Zealand
HarperCollins Publishers New Zealand
Unit D1, 63 Apollo Drive
Rosedale 0632
Auckland, New Zealand
www.harpercollins.co.nz
United Kingdom
HarperCollins Publishers Ltd.
1 London Bridge Street
London SE1 9GF, UK
www.harpercollins.co.uk
United States
HarperCollins Publishers Inc.
195 Broadway
New York, NY 10007
www.harpercollins.com
If I Never Met You Page 33
