He shook his head. “I’m gonna have to take the city slicker out of you.” He closed the tackle box, gathered up the fishing poles and straightened. “Seriously, you’re a real trooper, Haley.”
She reached for the fishing poles and smiled at him. His gaze locked on her blue eyes—eyes full of compassion as well as a touch of sadness. He had to force himself to look away.
“Guess I’d better watch myself or before I know it, I’ll be wearing boots and a cowgirl hat,” she said. “Not to mention turning my pocket inside out if I hear a screech owl.”
“That’s probably why we had such bad luck fishing. I was the only one who turned his pocket inside out. Next time that dang owl screeches, your pocket is turning out if I have to do it myself.”
He shot her a teasing grin and laughed at the face she gave him.
“I might as well just turn my pocket out now because that owl screeches all the time,” she said. They started up the path in companionable silence, the kids in front of them. “I can’t remember the last time I had such a terrific day. You’re great with the kids, Ethan.”
“I’ve always liked kids.” He sliced her a sideways look. “Speaking of being good with children, don’t underestimate yourself. You’ve done a great job with Ryan.”
“Thanks. He seems to be at his best around you. I think it’s that male bonding thing. Ryan’s not had any men in his life, so he’s really soaking up your attention.” She let out a long sigh, and he wondered if she was thinking about her husband. Of course she was. He should be thinking about him, too.
“What about your dad?” Ethan asked. “Is Ryan close to him?”
“Ryan only sees him once or twice a year, and dad’s gruffness scares my son like it did me.”
“That’s too bad.”
She shrugged. “I learned to steer clear of him when he was in a bad mood, which was most of the time.”
“That’s a bummer.” Ethan wanted to pull her close and comfort her. She’d had one helluva lot to cope with in her life. “No kid should have to deal with being afraid of a parent.”
She pretended it was no big deal, but her eyes moistened. He reached out and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “Your mother must be a super mom because you turned out terrific,” he said softly, squeezing her and then promptly dropping his arm.
“She’s okay. I always felt like my dad didn’t want me.”
“Ouch. Has he been there for you at least some?”
“I’d be lying if I said yes.” She frowned. “Mom says he was never the same after Vietnam.”
“I imagine lots of men weren’t.”
“Was your father in Nam?”
At the mention of his father, Ethan grew somber. “I barely remember my dad, but what I do remember is all good. And, yeah, he was in ‘Nam. He and my uncle went over there together. Dad was the only one who came home.”
Haley shuddered. “I can’t imagine what they went through. I guess none of us will ever know how bad it really was. My dad never talked about it. Did yours?”
“He died when I was seven, so I wouldn’t know.”
“Oh Ethan. I’m so sorry. Children shouldn’t lose their father.”
Ethan knew she was thinking about her own son and the possibility of her boy never knowing his dad. “Or their mother,” he added. “But big bro stepped in and bossed us kids. Hell, he still tries to boss us sometimes.”
“I wish I had a big brother,” she said with a faraway look in her eyes.
“Yeah, Matt’s a pretty good guy. Big brothers can come in real handy sometimes.” It sounded like Haley had been dealt a crummy hand all the way around. He shoved that depressing thought out of his mind “So what kind of pizza do you like?”
She brightened. “Pepperoni’s always good.”
The kids clamored up onto the porch. Ethan and Haley followed. Ethan set the fishing equipment in a far corner. Even though they hadn’t caught any fish and he hadn’t had time to even bait a hook for himself, the outing had been fun, which surprised him. He liked Haley and her son, but he’d had mixed feelings about inviting everyone to come with him this weekend. He’d wanted time for himself, yet now he was glad they were here. The companionship was nice. Peace and quiet later tonight would be good, too, but right now he was surprisingly content.
If he could keep himself from staring at Haley’s never-ending legs, he’d be even more content. The only problem was, the more he was around her, the more difficult it became to tamp down his raging hormones. No doubt about it, the nanny was one sexy lady. All he had to do was catch a whiff of her flowery perfume and he was like a bird dog on point.
She walked past him and scooped up Ryan. He followed them inside, watching the gentle sway of her hips and breathing in her sweet scent.
Oh, yeah, ‘bird dog on point’ was a nice way of saying what he was. He was in such trouble here. Big, big trouble.
Groaning, he forced his gaze away from her backside, even as her scent filtered through every pore of his body. Cursing himself for being fool enough—and too damn caring for his own good—to hire Haley when he’d known from the beginning he found her attractive and she was totally off limits, he headed for his bedroom to clean up and hopefully force his mind away from naked images of his totally unavailable nanny.
CHAPTER THREE
Haley followed Ryan and Kayla into the kitchen where Ethan was opening two big boxes of pizza. “Smells delicious,” she said, pulling out a chair and picking Ryan up.
Ethan pointed to another chair. “I put a stack of books in that one for Ryan, plus a belt to tie him in so he won’t fall off.”
“Great idea.” Haley settled Ryan on the books and wrapped the belt around him. Buckling it, she scooted the chair up to the table, and then pulled glasses out of the cabinet.
Grinning, Ryan slapped both hands on the green Formica top, chanting, “Pizza, pizza.”
Dottie came into the kitchen and grabbed a stack of paper plates.
“Sit, Mom. I’ve got this covered.”
“Don’t mind if I do. These old bones are tired tonight.”
“I thought you were going to take a nap this afternoon,” Ethan said, as he helped his mom to a chair between Kayla and Ryan, a look of worry on his face.
“I thought so, too. Tell Hank to take that damn bird to the barn where it belongs.”
“Mouth, Mother. Besides, the snakes would get the bird out there.”
Haley flinched, her stomach bouncing. “What kind of snakes?”
“Big ones.” Ethan shrugged. “We’re in the country.”
Haley swallowed hard and forced herself not to scan the floor, just in case any were in the house.
“I’m almost glad you didn’t catch any fish,” Dottie said. “I might have had to clean the smelly things.” She shot Haley a wink.
Haley smiled even as her stomach took another dip. She filled Ryan’s Tippy cup with milk, and then poured Kayla’s glass with milk. Ethan plopped ice into three glasses and filled them with soda, then set those drinks on the table.
He handed her a slice of pepperoni pizza and her mouth watered. She barely said a word as she finished off her first two pieces. “That’s the best pizza I’ve ever had.” She reached for another slice.
“I can see this crowd would have needed about a hundred fish to get their stomachs full.” Ethan took another slice of pizza, cut it in half and handed the kids a second helping. Haley was amazed Ryan could eat more after the huge piece he’d just wolfed down. A few minutes later his head drooped, even as he still chewed.
“I think we wore him out.” Ethan smiled at her and she smiled back, a rush of warmth filling her. What was it about this man’s friendship that could make her world feel safe, even with the thought of snakes crawling around?
“I’ll carry him up to bed,” Ethan said, standing and picking up Ryan.
“Wait.” Haley stood, wet a rag with warm water, and wiped Ryan’s face and hands, barely rousing him. Ethan carried him out of the kitc
hen.
“I want to watch a video,” Kayla announced, wiping her chin off with a napkin.
“Good idea.” Dottie scooted back from the table. “I’ll get you set up and then I’m going to bed. Right after I put a towel over the darn owl. Hopefully that will shut him up.”
“It was a long day for me, too,” Haley said, feeling a little sleepy herself. She began picking up the kitchen, thinking how nice it was that Ethan had carried Ryan up to bed. Her son might only be a toddler, but some days it felt like she was hauling a five-year old around. He was growing way too fast. Sadness filled her at the thought of all that Dale had already missed.
“Ryan’s out like a light and Mom’s going to her room,” Ethan said, startling her out of her depressing thoughts. “Guess it was a long day for everyone. You look beat, too.”
“I am. Thanks for putting Ryan down.”
“My pleasure. Care for some coffee?”
“Only if it’s decaf. I don’t want anything to keep me awake tonight.”
“Go sit out on the porch. Relax. I’ll bring the coffee out in a bit. How about I add some Baileys?”
“Sounds good but I might fall asleep on the porch, and then you’d have to carry me up to bed.” The minute she’d said it, Haley realized how her words sounded. Her face flushed with heat.
“Good thing I’ve kept up with my weight training. Wouldn’t want to hurt my back hauling you upstairs.” Grinning, Ethan pulled out two mugs and started the coffee. “Go get settled. I’ll be out in a minute.”
“You sure you don’t want some help? After all, I’m the employee here.”
“As a nanny, not my servant.”
She smiled at him, glad she’d been lucky enough to land this job. She went outside and sat on the wooden swing, giving a push with her foot to get it started. The rhythm quickly lulled her and she found herself relaxing so much her eyelids felt heavy.
She closed her eyes and listened to the birds, enjoying the slight breeze that fanned her face. In spite of half-eaten mice, bugs and spiders, and Lord knows what else she hadn’t discovered yet, it was peaceful here. She could see why Ethan liked the country. Still, she would be ready to get to town tomorrow where she was familiar with the routine and didn’t have to worry about snakes and bears.
She drew in a deep breath, amazed at how good she felt, even if she was in a strange environment. She hadn’t felt this relaxed in a long time. Being with this family helped to ease the constant ache she’d carried around since Dale disappeared. And having Ethan around was good for Ryan. And her. The man made her feel safe in a way she hadn’t since Dale left.
He also made her feel special, like a friend instead of an employee. She let out a long sigh, thinking how good that felt. She could use a friend in her life.
Without warning, another wave of guilt crept through her like a storm rolling over barren hills at dusk. She’d felt so empty these last two years, and on some level knew there was no reason to feel guilty about her and Ethan’s friendship. This family had filled a void in her that had been empty for too long, and she was grateful. Their friendships would help her get through this time of waiting for Dale to come home.
“Please God let him be alive and send him home to me,” she said softly.
The screen door squeaked open and startled her. Ethan walked over and handed her a cup of steaming coffee, then sat beside her. She could feel his body heat next to her and wasn’t sure if she was comforted by it or ill at ease with it.
She took a sip of coffee. “It’s delicious. I’ll try and stay awake until I get myself upstairs,” she said with a smile.
He smiled back and let out a contented sigh. “Baileys is a great way to top off a good day.”
“And an even better way to get to sleep. Not that I’ll need any help tonight.”
“I’ve got a cattle prod in the barn if you fall asleep, so drink up.”
She laughed. “Your mother is right. You are definitely ornery.”
“It’s genetic.” He pulled in another deep breath, blew it out on a sigh. “The fresh air out here is good for the soul, don’t you think?”
She took another sip of coffee. “I hadn’t thought about it like that. It’s very relaxing, that’s for sure. Of course I walked forever this afternoon and wore myself out. Kayla showed me around while Dottie stayed with Ryan when he napped. Your daughter’s energy level makes me look like a slug.”
“She knows this place like the back of her hand. Where did you hike?”
“Where didn’t we hike, is more the question? How much land is here anyway?”
“Well over a thousand acres. Plenty to ride horses in. You ever ridden?”
“Once.” She grimaced. “I fell off.”
“Everyone who’s ever been on a horse has been thrown.”
“I wasn’t thrown. I fell off.”
He laughed. “I’ve got a couple of pretty laid back geldings. If you ever want to try it again, let me know.”
“Don’t hold your breath.” The silence of dusk filled the air, which was beginning to turn slightly cool. Haley took another sip of coffee. “I guess there’s something to this country thing. I’m relaxed in spite of the fishing fiasco and sore muscles from hiking.”
Ethan looked out across the land. “This is my go-to place when I’m stressed.” She waited for him to continue, sensing he had more to say. “Hank’s son -- my godson -- is buried out here. Up on that knoll.” He nodded to his right. “He was like a son to me. Hank’s been my best buddy since junior high school.”
Haley’s heart ached. “I can’t even fathom surviving your child dying.” Ethan’s lips thinned and her heart went out to him. This man had known the grief of losing people he loved, too. “How old was he?” she asked softly.
“Four.”
She wrapped her suddenly cold fingers tighter around the warm mug. “Was it a car accident?”
“No. He’d been sick all his life. Cystic fibrosis.”
She laid a hand on his arm. “I’m so sorry, Ethan.”
He covered her hand with his. A bright red cardinal flitted from one bush to another at the side of the porch. Several rabbits hopped around the front yard. “Hank and I bought this old ranch about eight years ago. Tommy never seemed as sick when he was here. Of course that wasn’t really the case, but this place definitely lifted his spirits.”
“And yours,” she added.
Ethan nodded. “And Hank’s.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“Hank and I bought this land when his ex was pregnant. Tommy always loved to come here. Hank’s wife couldn’t handle the day-to day caring of Tommy and vamoosed. She also wasn’t too keen on living out here full-time at some point. That lady was a piece of work. She came to see her son from time to time but that was it.”
“How could a mother do that? How could anyone do that to a child they loved?”
Ethan seemed to close in on himself for a minute. When he spoke, his voice was laced with anger. “Kayla’s mom left to become a movie star. Hank and I joke about our lady-pickers being broken. We both chose total losers for wives.”
“I’m so sorry.”
He blew out a long breath. “We’ve both gotten past it. This place has been good for all of us. Even Mom likes it, but of course with Tommy buried out here, it gets her down sometimes. She adored that kid.”
Haley’s heart ached for Ethan and Dottie’s loss. They’d lost a dad and husband, and then a little boy they both loved. She’d never dreamed they’d had so much tragedy in their lives. No wonder Ethan hired her. He’d had a lot of grief in his life and totally got what she’d been through.
“Now I understand why you’re such a good father to Kayla. You learned early how to nurture. She’s a lucky little girl to have you.”
He stole a quick look at her. “Thanks. She might be lucky to have me, but she’s sure as hell unlucky to have Elisa for a mom.” He shook his head. “I can’t believe I ever married her.”
“Why did you?” H
aley slapped a hand over her mouth. “Sorry. That popped out unexpectedly. You don’t have to answer. It’s really none of my business.”
He shrugged. “I was young. She was hot. I thought I was in love.”
“Maybe you were, but you changed. Or she did.”
“She definitely changed. Got all crazy on me from the day she found out she was pregnant. She couldn’t stand the thought of slowing down the partying and being a mom.”
“I can’t even wrap my mind around a woman not wanting to be a good mother.”
“God, you’re so innocent.” Haley puffed up, feeling somehow put down.
He frowned. “No offense meant, Haley. You’re a good woman. I’m glad you’re on board, and I’m glad you will have an influence on Kayla.”
Haley’s heart softened. For the first time since Dale disappeared, she didn’t feel totally alone. She fought back a flood of emotions. “Thank you,” she said around a thick throat. “That means a lot to me. She’s a precious little girl.”
“She thinks you hung the moon.”
“She thinks I’m a total wuss. She laughed at me all day.”
“You are a wuss, but we’re going to change that.”
“Ah, I’m not sure I’m on board with much changing,” she said, trepidation seeping through her.
He pushed the porch with a foot, starting the swing again. “Then I guess you can stay in town next time we come out here.”
She shook her head. “I’m the nanny. I can’t do that.”
“I’ll dock your pay. Make you feel better about it.” She wasn’t sure if he was teasing or not. “But you’d miss out on a lot of fun and so would Ryan,” he added.
“Not seeing half-eaten, bloody mice is not what I’d term fun let alone deprivation.”
“How about not seeing freshly hatched quail? Or newborn lambs?”
“You have sheep out here?”
“No, but my neighbor does. And you never know what Hank will bring in that needs fixing.”
“I have to admit the owl is beautiful. Loud but beautiful.”
Ethan stretched out his long legs, crossing his booted feet at his ankles. “Had a bobcat kitten last summer. Kayla cried for a week when we took it to the zoo.”
A Home for Haley Page 4
