“Arby’s sounds okay to me,” Haley said, knowing Kayla wouldn’t like that, but agreeing with Ethan about the ‘real’ food.
“Come on, Kayla. Let’s go,” Ethan hollered to his daughter as he guided Haley and Ryan toward his truck.
Kayla trudged toward them, then stopped at pick-up’s door. “I can’t get in by myself,” she whined.
Ethan grabbed her around the waist and lifted her inside. “No more whining or I’m taking you home.”
Tears formed in Kayla’s eyes, but she kept her mouth shut as she scooted onto her booster seat and fastened her seatbelt. Haley fastened Ryan into the car seat, glad Ethan had insisted on getting an extra one for his truck. “They have good french fries at Arby’s.”
Kayla didn’t say anything, but Ryan clapped his hands. “French fies. French fies.”
“It’s fries,” Kayla corrected in a condescending tone.
Ryan’s mouth puckered and he tried to shove her but she was too far away.
“Aren’t you glad you stopped and invited us to lunch?” Haley asked, as she buckled her seat belt.
He chuckled. “Aren’t you?” Grinning, he turned the ignition and headed down the street.
She really was glad he’d stopped by but hated to admit it. He might think she didn’t enjoy her job and that was so not true. The kids gave her a purpose, and she wouldn’t trade this job for anything, even if she did still harbor some anger toward Ethan. “You’re a great distraction,” she finally said.
“Oh, I doubt that. My guess is Kayla was behaving fine until I showed up and didn’t offer her what she wanted.”
Haley cleared her throat. “Well . . .”
“I always behave for Miss Haley,” Kayla shouted from the backseat.
Ethan arched a questioning brow at Haley. “Pretty much that’s true.” Haley grabbed Kayla’s foot when she kicked the back of her dad’s seat. “You’re not behaving so great now, though, are you?”
Kayla pulled her foot away and shrugged. “I want McDonald’s.”
“We don’t always get what we want,” Haley said gently, thinking that was the understatement of the century. “But this is fun going to lunch with your dad.” She was surprised at the truth in her words. “Just think, Kayla, all I would have made was peanut butter and jelly sandwiches when we got back to the house.”
“That’s a pretty decent homemade meal at my house.” Ethan winked at her and she smiled at him, feeling more of her anger shift and release. The man had a way of making her feel better. She hated to admit that, even to herself, but it was the truth.
“I think you’re exaggerating. Your mother already told me you grill out the best steak in the world. And don’t forget I ate your eggs a few weeks ago.”
“Mom made all of us learn to cook. I hated her for it. The guys used to make fun of Matt and me.”
“Oh, you poor thing.”
Ethan laughed. “More like poor other guys. Both Matt and I tended to be hot heads. We were always in trouble at school. And then caught you-know-what at home.”
“Grandma spanked you?” Kayla asked from the backseat.
“Many times. Be glad spanking is no longer an acceptable form of discipline.” Ethan glanced at Haley. “You have any good stories to tell about getting in trouble?”
She shook her head. “I was the perfect kid.” Truth be told, she was too scared of her father to barely talk, let alone talk back.
“I could almost believe that, except no kid is perfect.”
Haley fiddled with her wedding band. “My father was very strict,” she said softly, staring at her hands. “I didn’t dare misbehave.”
Silence filled the truck before Ethan finally spoke. “I’m sorry. That pretty much sucks.” He reached over and squeezed her hand. Without thinking, she turned it over and squeezed back, then smiled at him before pulling free. She shifted in her seat and stared out the window, at a loss for words. Ethan made her feel safe and protected. It was a nice feeling. A comfortable and warm feeling. Much better than the hot anger that had consumed her for weeks, but a feeling she wasn’t quite sure how to react to. She’d never been very comfortable with men, but she was with Ethan and had been almost from the beginning. That is until he’d gone behind her back to find out about Dale. Since then, she hadn’t felt much of anything toward Ethan but anger.
She drew in a deep breath and looked at him. He glanced at her and she gave him a tentative smile. “You’re one of the nicest men I’ve ever known,” she managed to say without her voice cracking. “I’m sorry for how I’ve treated you lately.”
“You’ve had a lot to deal with. Still do. You have nothing to be sorry about.”
She swallowed hard. “There you go being nice,” she somehow managed to get out of her throat, which was thick with emotion.
He shrugged. “I can be a bear. Ask anyone. Guess you bring out the nice in me.” He turned into Arby’s parking lot. “You kids hungry?”
Haley let out a sigh of relief. The man even knew when to change the subject. He could probably tell she was about to cry. She wondered what her life would have been like if she’d had a father like Ethan, a father who actually took time to be there for his children and support them. She shoved her door open and stepped out, more than glad for a diversion. She opened the back door of the truck, helped Ryan out of his car seat and held his hand as he pulled her over to Kayla and Ethan.
When her son took Ethan’s outstretched hand, Haley couldn’t help but remember how warm and comforting Ethan’s hand had felt just a few minutes ago. And strong. It amazed her that this man could be so strong, so utterly masculine, and yet also gentle. She’d never been around anyone quite like him—certainly not her father. Not even Dale if she were being honest. He’d been strong but there had been times when his impatience had made her feel inadequate and not quite good enough. She sucked in a quick breath. She’d all but forgotten about that until right now—maybe because he’d been gone so much—but she still felt like a traitor to her husband’s memory.
Ethan held the door to Arby’s open and shot her a dazzling smile. Trying to shove thoughts of Dale out of her mind, she returned Ethan’s smile, determined to put Dale out of her mind for a few minutes and enjoy the spontaneous outing Ethan had provided.
****
Ethan headed toward the kitchen, his bare feet making no sound as he walked across the wooden floors in the middle of the night. He couldn’t sleep and he was hungry. For what he couldn’t say. Chocolate might work.
He turned the corner and headed into the kitchen, then stopped dead in his tracks. Haley stood in front of the open refrigerator door, her silhouette backlit by the refrigerator light. His mouth went dry.
He cleared his throat and she whirled around, grabbing the edges of her light blue summer robe and pulling it closed. “You scared me half to death.”
“Sorry about that. I thought I was the only one prowling around in the middle of the night.” He started toward the refrigerator and she stepped aside. “Anything good in here?” he asked.
“I haven’t had much chance to look.”
He edged by her and stuck his head practically in the refrigerator. “Left over chicken casserole sounds decent. Not as good as chocolate though.”
“If you want chocolate, I made some brownies earlier.”
He straightened and arched his brows. “Yum.”
She turned bright red. He hadn’t meant his remark that way, but he had a hard time holding back a grin. She fumbled with the buttons of her gown, her gaze sweeping over him. Only then did Ethan remember he only had boxers on. Well, dang, it was his house and it was the middle of the night. “Where are they?” he asked far too gruffly.
“In the bread box. I’ll get you one.”
“I’ll get it.” Ethan strode past her and opened the box, pulled out two brownies and set them on a paper towel. “How about you?”
“Just one for me, and I’ll get it.” Lord but she was hard-headed. She took a brownie and sat at the
table.
He followed her, wishing he could still see through her gown. Okay, he definitely had to quit thinking about that or he’d embarrass himself. “So why are you awake? I thought you were taking sleeping pills.”
“I’m trying to wean off of them.”
“Guess it’s not working so well, huh?”
“Obviously not. I suppose I should have taken a half of one. That’s why I hate taking the darn things to begin with. I don’t want to get addicted to them. And why are you prowling around in the middle of the night?”
“Too much on my mind I guess. I have a lot to get done before we head to California in a few days. By the way, I booked a townhouse for us. Figured the kids would like that. You’ve got your own room with a private bath and hot tub. Plus a door that goes out to the pool. I’ll check the lock on it when we get there, but if you’d feel safer, you can have one of the upstairs bedrooms.”
“Aren’t you Mr. Thoughtful.” She took a bite of brownie and gave a contented sigh. “You’re not only thoughtful but protective. It’s nice,” she added softly. “Are you always protective?”
He stared at her, wondering about that. “Not always,” he finally answered. Mostly with people he cared about. “Mom tried to make sure Matt and I weren’t always hoodlums, and part of that training was respect for women.”
“She did a good job. From what I saw of your brother, he’s a good man, too.”
Ethan choked on his brownie. “Too?” he muttered around a mouth full of chewy, moist brownie.
“Definitely.” She glanced at her empty paper towel, folded it up into thirds before finally looking back at him. “I’m getting over my anger with you, because I believe your heart was in the right place.” She folded the paper towel again. “But I still think you should have asked me before looking into Dale’s disappearance.”
He made himself maintain eye contact with her even though he was uncomfortable. “You’re right. I probably should have done that.” He picked up his second brownie. “I watched Aunt Jo put her life on hold, even knowing my uncle was gone. It was difficult to see. I figured you didn’t have a chance in hell of mourning and moving on until you knew what had happened to your husband.”
Haley averted her gaze. “You might be right,” she muttered. There was a long silence before she spoke again. “Your aunt is great. I’m sorry she lost her husband. She and your mom have had some rough times.”
Ethan nodded. “For sure.”
“How did Dottie handle your father’s death?”
He set down his half-eaten brownie and cleared his throat. “We all took it pretty hard. Can’t say I paid a whole lot of attention to Mom for a while, except to realize she cried all the time. We kids were grieving, too.”
Francie reached across the table and touched his hand. “I’m sorry you had to go through that.”
“My dad was good to us while he was alive. At least we have great memories,” he added around a tight throat.
She pulled her hand away. “Yes. You do have that. My father is still alive, but as for good memories . . .” Her voice trailed off. “Mom blames it on the war. I’m not so sure that’s the real problem.” Her eyes teared, and she scooted back from the table.
“Please stay,” he said before he could stop himself. “You don’t have to talk about your dad. Or Dale. I know it’s painful.”
Her blue eyes stayed on him for a long time. Finally she scooted back up to the table. He waited for her to say something but she kept silent. He wished she’d open up to him, let him help her in some way.
“I’m really glad you and Ryan are going to Disneyland with us, Haley. It’ll be a great time. If I know Ashley, she’s got some terrific places in mind for us to visit besides Disneyland. Although I’m told you could spend days there.”
“I’ve heard that, too. We’ll both be exhausted long before the kids are. Or at least I will,” she added with a slight smile.
“Don’t think for a minute that Kayla can’t run circles around me. I swear I’ve aged five years for every year of her life.”
“You don’t look in your mid-fifties.”
“I think the Richardson smart-ass attitude is having a bad effect on you.” Haley smiled and it pleased him. “I’ve missed visiting with you, Haley. I’m going to be plum worn out tomorrow, but this is worth it.”
This time her smile shone brighter. “It’s nice we’re talking. I haven’t felt much like visiting with you lately. Guess I’ve been too mad.”
“And now?” he asked, holding his breath as he waited for her answer.
“Now I’ve run out of steam. I’m tired of being angry. Tired of hurting.” She let out a weary sigh. “But I still think you overstepped your boundaries.”
“It seemed to me that not knowing would be the worst thing possible for you. If I was wrong, I apologize.”
She picked up her neatly folded paper towel and shredded it. “I don’t know how it could have been worse than this.”
“Maybe not worse, but it very well might have been your whole life instead of a season. I wish you could see that.”
She shoved to her feet. “Did it ever occur to you I don’t want to see that. I don’t want to face my entire life without Dale. Without a daddy for Ryan. I don’t want to face any of this, but what you did gave me no choice.”
She balled her hands into fists at her side. “Why can’t you understand my point of view? You know what it’s like to lose someone you love.”
He stood and tossed his paper towel into the trash. “You’re right I do. I did what I thought was best for you.”
Her shoulders sagged. “And now I’m staring at the ugly truth, and I resent it. A lot. And I have a helluva long way to go before moving on.”
He stepped over to her and tried to rest his hands on her shoulders, but she shoved him away. “You cannot make me feel better. I’m going to bed. Like you said, we’ll be exhausted tomorrow.” She turned on her heel and stormed out of the kitchen.
“That went well,” Ethan muttered, trying to tamp down his anger and hurt. Her bitter words had sliced right through him, making his own anger boil. That woman could push his buttons like no one else. Maybe he should have kept his nose out of this. Not forced an issue that really wasn’t his business. But, dammit, he cared about her and he’d wanted to help. When was he going to learn that caring mucked up everything? No wonder his mom and Aunt Jo had never remarried. Life was a whole lot simpler without all the emotional turmoil that came with caring. He, of all people, should know that.
He grabbed a glass out of the cabinet, filled it with milk, and drank it. Tomorrow, he’d head out to the dude ranch by himself, toss back a few beers with Hank, ride like a bat out of hell, and hopefully clear his head. Maybe he’d even go over to the new house and help the construction workers, put some muscle into something and work off steam. Yeah, that definitely sounded like a plan.
He left the kitchen and started up the stairs, counting the hours until he was out on his land and thinking straight again.
CHAPTER NINE
Haley checked on a sleeping Ryan and then headed downstairs, carrying the baby monitor with her. What she really wanted to do was crawl back into bed, but she was Kayla’s nanny, and she was sure the little girl was already up and at ’em.
She hoped Ethan wasn’t too upset with about last night. She’d been so distraught at her outburst, that she hadn’t been able to get back to sleep after their conversation. It still bothered her that their talk had ended on such a sour note, and she supposed it was her fault. She didn’t know what it would take for her to totally forgive Ethan for meddling in her life.
She pulled in a few calming breaths and walked into the kitchen. Aunt Jo stood at the stove making bacon and eggs, and Dottie and Kayla sat at the table. Ethan wasn’t there and she wondered where he was. Maybe he was sleeping in like she wished she were doing.
“Morning Haley. Where’s that cute little boy of yours?” Dottie asked with a grin.
“S
till sleeping, lucky guy.” Haley smiled at Dottie then set the baby monitor on the kitchen counter, pulled open the refrigerator, grabbed a pitcher of orange juice, and poured herself a glass.
“Go sit, Jo. I can finish this.”
Jo waved her away with the spatula. “I heard you didn’t sleep well last night. Ethan said he found you in the kitchen when he came down to prowl.” Jo arched her eyebrows in an invitation for Haley to talk, but she ignored it. “Anyway,” Jo continued, “he looked a tad rough this morning. Took off for the dude ranch about an hour ago. Said he’d be back in a couple of days.”
“I wanted to go with him,” Kayla said with a pout. “It’s boring here.”
“Gee thanks,” everyone said in unison, making Haley smile.
“You only have a few days to stumble through Kayla, and then we’re off to Disneyland.” Haley patted Kayla on the back and sat beside her. “Think how exciting that will be. Now put a smile on your face, kiddo.”
“I second that.” Dottie picked up her coffee mug and took a sip of the still-steaming liquid. “Your father never got to go to Disneyland when he was a child. Consider yourself lucky.”
Kayla scowled at her grandmother. “But I wanted to go with him this morning.”
“Everyone deserves some time alone. Now zip it.” Dottie shot her granddaughter a warning look, and Kayla ducked her head and started back in on her scrambled eggs.
Haley did the same, barely tasting her food. She felt sure that her outburst last night had something to do with Ethan leaving. She held in a sigh. They had started out so well, and then she’d gone and opened her mouth, spilling the anger that she couldn’t seem to totally shake. And now, even though a part of her was glad Ethan was gone and she didn’t have to face him, another part of her wished he were here. And that irritated her to no end. She should be glad he was gone. She needed time away from him to process last night’s conversation. She imagined he needed the same. She should have kept her mouth shut. It wasn’t like her to be insensitive and hurt someone. And she knew she had hurt Ethan by the look that had crossed his face after her outburst.
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