“Sir? Sir?” Ethan turned to the woman behind him. “Are you her father?”
“Of course I’m her father,” he snapped, and faced forward again. Haley put a hand on his leg, and he took several deep breaths in an effort to calm himself. By the time they reached their car, Kayla had gone quiet. Too quiet, he thought, fear racing through him. What would it take to undo the damage Ellie had, once again, caused his child? And what could he do to make sure this never happened again? Nothing, he thought with despair. He opened the car door and set Kayla inside, buckled her seat belt and got in the front seat, determined to hire a lawyer and find out exactly what he needed to do to keep that cold-hearted, self-absorbed woman away from his daughter.
****
“I’ll come get you when dinner is ready,” Ethan said to a stone-faced Kayla. Feeling totally wrung out, he stepped out of the bedroom. He’d never felt so helpless in his entire life. No matter what he said or did, he couldn’t get Kayla to open up to him. He’d never seen her so dejected, or so angry with him, and it tore him up. Damn Ellie anyway. How could she be so insensitive? The woman used everyone. It blew his mind that he had actually married her. He started downstairs, his heart as heavy as his steps and anger churning in his gut.
Thank God Haley had put Ryan down for a late nap and volunteered to make something for dinner. He entered the kitchen and Haley stepped into his arms, giving him a huge hug.
“How is she?”
He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Not good. She won’t even talk to me.”
“She needs you even if she’s not showing it.”
“She told me to leave her alone. Right now she’s mad as hell at me. Says I kept her from her mother.” He rubbed the stubble on his jaw. “Ashley mentioned before our visit that Ellie had done a few commercials at Disneyland. She should have warned me we might see her.”
“Please don’t take this out on Ashley.” He glowered at Haley. Ignoring his glare, she took his hand and led him to the couch. “This is not Ashley’s fault, Ethan. The odds of running into Ellie were practically non-existent.”
“Probably so, but I shouldn’t have brought Kayla here,” he muttered.
“Don’t say that. This is not your fault either.” Haley glanced up as Kayla came downstairs, looking utterly dejected. Ignoring her dad, she march over to Haley and sat close beside her. Ethan had never felt such rejection, not even from Ellie the day she’d walked out on them.
“I’m going to call Ashley, let her know we don’t need her to babysit tonight.” He walked outside by the pool and hit his sister’s number.
“I’m about to stop and get food,” she answered cheerfully.
“Change of plans. Haley started something for dinner. Looks like she and I won’t be going out tonight.” Disappointment lay heavy, but he shoved it away. Kayla was way more important than a dinner date.
“Okaaaay,” Ashley drawled. “What’s the deal?”
“Kayla saw Ellie today at Disneyland. Her mom asked her to be an extra in her commercial, and then sent her on her way.”
“You’re kidding, right?”
“Don’t I wish.”
“OMG! If I ever see that woman she’ll never know what hit her.”
Ethan rubbed the back of his neck and walked farther outside. “Did you know they were filming a commercial today and that Ellie was in it? For God sakes, Ashley, this is a nightmare I’d just as soon not be having.”
“Don’t insult me, big brother. The State Tourism Department was there to film a commercial. I had no idea Ellie would be in it. Like I told you before you came, she’s done a couple of commercials here. That’s all.”
Ethan sank onto a lounge chair, his back to the townhouse. “Sorry. I shouldn’t take this out on you, but I’m beyond upset for Kayla.”
“Of course you are, but it’s not your fault. Or mine. Do you want me to tell the Tourism Bureau that we don’t want Ellie in any more of their commercials?”
“That sounds grand. And petty as hell. Leave her be. It’ll only make things worse.”
“I’m so sorry, Ethan.”
“Yeah, me too. Talk with you later.” Ethan pocketed his phone and rested his pounding head in his hands. He wanted to ring Ellie’s neck. He’d been a total idiot to ever fall for her. The woman was so cold-hearted that she’d deserted her husband and daughter and never made contact again except to call one day out of the blue and leave a message saying she’d moved to California to pursue her dream of acting.
Cursing, he shoved to his feet and headed back toward the townhouse. Taking a fortifying breath, he went inside and sat down next to Kayla, sandwiching her between him and Haley. “I just talked with your Aunt Ashley. She’s going to come over another night and play with you and Ryan.”
Kayla shrugged without looking at him. Haley ran her fingers through Kayla’s thick dark hair, then kissed the top of her head.
Ethan picked Kayla up and set her on his lap, holding her close, glad she at least wasn’t fighting him. “You still mad at me?”
She nodded, but didn’t look at him. Her eyes filled with tears and spilled down her cheeks. “What did I do wrong?” she asked brokenly.
“Oh, honey, you did absolutely nothing wrong. Your mom’s messed up, but I promise it has absolutely nothing to do with you.”
Kayla buried her face in Ethan’s chest and sobbed. It was all he could do not to join her—but not because he missed Ellie. He leaned his head back against the couch and swallowed back his anger, knowing Ellie wouldn’t even care that she’d crushed Kayla today. As always, Ellie’s only concern was herself.
Haley touched his leg and stood. “I’m going to finish dinner.”
He reached for her hand and squeezed it, wishing she’d stay. This was way too much for Kayla to have to deal with—for any child to have to deal with—and he felt totally inept.
Haley squeezed his hand back and then headed for the kitchen. “Haley?”
She turned around. “Yes.”
“Thank you.” She smiled at him and his tension eased ever so slightly. Haley was a good woman. She cared about Kayla and he hoped that at some point they could move their friendship forward, but he wouldn’t press her. She needed this time to heal, and he needed to put all his energy and time into taking care of Kayla.
He stroked his daughter’s back as she cried. Finally her tears stopped and she sat up. “Feel any better?” he asked, kissing her forehead.
She shrugged. He pulled her close and she kissed his cheek. “I’m sorry I was mean to you,” she said staring down at her lap. “I’m glad you’re my daddy.”
Emotion clogged his throat. “And I’m glad you’re my little girl. You’re the best little girl anyone could ever want.”
She wrapped her arms around his neck, and his heart melted. He would do anything to protect his daughter. He wished like hell he could have kept her from being hurt by her mother today. God help him, but right now he wished he could hurt Ellie just as badly as she’d hurt Kayla.
****
Haley looked at the clock for what felt like the hundredth time and sighed. She couldn’t close her eyes without seeing Kayla’s grief-stricken face, and Ethan valiantly trying to soothe his daughter and keep his own pain at bay. How could anyone soothe that kind of suffering? Her own heart was heavy with grief, and she wasn’t even related to Kayla.
What kind of mother could hurt her child so terribly? Tears stung Haley’s eyes. If that woman ever so much as showed her face when Haley was there, she would call the police. To this day, Haley still cried when she remembered some of the hateful things her dad had said to her. She couldn’t even imagine how deep the scars would be for Kayla.
Brushing away a tear, Haley got out of bed and put on her swimsuit. She might as well try and work off some of her anger, because there was no way she could sleep. Grabbing a towel, she stepped out her patio door and breathed in the night air. The pool’s water was as smooth as glass. Dropping her towel onto the back of the nearest cha
ir, she walked to the edge of the pool and dove in.
As soon as her head came up, she took off swimming, quickly losing count of her laps. She would swim until she couldn’t do it anymore and then, hopefully, go back inside and sleep.
Finally when her arms were shaking with fatigue, she grabbed the side of the pool and rested her forehead on the blue tile, gulping in air.
“I’m impressed.”
Haley jumped and let out a squeal. Ethan sat in a lounge chair to her left. “You scared me to death,” she said, clutching her chest where her heart pounded like a war drum.
“Sorry.” He stood and eased into the water beside her. “Did the swim help?”
“I’ll let you know when I can breathe again.”
He nodded and rested his shoulders and arms on the edge of the pool.
Haley turned around and leaned her head on his bulging biceps, knowing instinctively he needed her. “How long have you been out here?”
“A long time.”
“I didn’t see you when I came out. Did you swim?”
“Yeah, for a while. Didn’t help.”
“Maybe it will at least help us sleep.” Tension filled the air and her mind went blank. She wanted to offer comfort, but words eluded her. He turned and faced her, the water lapping at her chest with his movement. His face was only inches from hers and she couldn’t take her eyes off him. “I’m sorry, Ethan. I want to help. Tell me what I can do.”
“For Kayla or me?”
She licked her lips. “Both.”
Ethan touched her face, ran a thumb over her bottom lip. Her breath stopped, then started back up, shallow and quick. He rested his forehead against hers, and she could smell his clean male scent. Feel his warmth. And his pain.
She put her hands on his shoulders and leaned in for a kiss. He did not disappoint. One minute she was breathless with anticipation. The next, breathless with need.
He pulled her hard against him and deepened the kiss. She took all that he gave and hoped for more. When he pulled away, she almost whimpered. Maybe she did. She wasn’t sure.
He ran a hand through his hair and cursed. She blinked hard, then gasped and stepped away, staring down at the water.
“Look at me, Haley.”
She didn’t want to look at him. She wanted to jump out of this pool, race inside and lock the door. He hooked a finger under her jaw, caressed her cheek with his thumb. “I’m not upset with you. I promised myself I wouldn’t kiss you, but . . .” He cleared his throat.
Her heart twisted with disappointment, even though she knew that was for the best. She was in no way ready for this. It was too soon. He continued to caress her cheek until she thought she might melt right into him. She finally got enough breath in her lungs to speak “You’re right to think that way,” she managed to say.
Nodding, he dropped his hand. His whiskey-brown eyes were filled with pain, and it sliced through her, making her ache for all he’d been through.
Feeling helpless, she wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her head on his chest. His heartbeat was fast, but strong and sure. She raised her head and cupped his cheeks. “I’m so sorry, Ethan. I wish I could help.”
With a groan he pulled her tight and plundered her mouth, then took her legs and wrapped them around him. “Lay back on the water.”
She did as he said, refusing to let herself think. Her mind clouded with need and her breathing came faster. He cupped both her breasts and she moaned, pushing into his hands. He slid his warm hands under her swimsuit top and molded her bare flesh. Need consumed her. She tried to clear her head and be smart, but she couldn’t. All she could think about was being with this man.
He lifted her up from the water and held her close. It was a few minutes before he spoke. “I’ll still respect you in the morning, but I won’t respect myself.” He kissed her cheek and set her away from him.
She held trembling fingers to her lips. “You’re right.” She looked away, ashamed but still having to fight for control. It was so not like her to be forward like she’d been. She wanted to flee, but she made herself look at him. He smiled even though his eyes held pain, and her embarrassment evaporated.
“I guess I should thank you for being strong,” she said, taking his hand. “Do you want to talk about today?”
“Hell no, I don’t want to talk about it. I want to find Ellie and hurt her the way she hurt Kayla.”
“I’d vote for that.”
He smiled and they leaned back against the pool’s edge. “I was such a fool to ever marry that woman. Young and dumb as they say.” He shook his head and made a derisive sound.
Silence filled the air, but it felt comfortable. “Seriously, I want to help in any way I can. Is there anything I can do?”
“Just what you’ve been doing all along. Kayla adores you and if she ever comes to you with this, I trust you to say and do what’s best for her.”
Fear spurted through her. “Uh, that’s a lot of trust.”
He nodded. “Yes, and you’ve earned it.”
She sincerely hoped his trust was not misplaced. “Have you thought about therapy for her?”
“Did that for six months. Kayla seemed to be coping pretty well, so I quit her therapy. Guess today probably takes her back to square one, huh?”
“I don’t see how it could not be a setback. I can’t believe her mother just dismissed her after the commercial. It broke my heart. How could anyone be so cruel, but especially a mother?”
“Answer that and you win the prize.” He cupped the water with a hand, pulled it toward them, then smoothed it back the other way and watched the ripples ease out.
“You’re smart to start her back in therapy,” Haley said.” Ethan leaned his head back and stared at the star-filled sky. “You’re a good father, Ethan. Kayla will be alright. It might take a while, but she will bounce back. I’ll give her extra attention and let her know I’m there for her if she wants to talk.”
Ethan turned his head and studied her with sad eyes. “Sometimes I think we needed you as much as you needed us.”
“I hope I don’t let you down,” she responded softly, the weight of grief and responsibility sitting heavy on her.
“You don’t have to worry about letting me down, Haley.”
She looked away and tucked her hair behind her ears. “I’ve been meaning to tell you that I’m not angry with you anymore about Dale. You were right. Once I got past the shock and despair, I’ve felt better.” She cast him a quick glance. “I can see now that it was best for me to know the truth.”
“Thank you for saying that. When I called in the favor, I thought I knew what was best. Sure is easier to see what’s best for someone else, isn’t it?”
“Yes, but you were trying to take care of me. And now I want to be there for you. I’m a good listener if you ever want to talk.”
“I’m not good at sharing my problems. It’s a guy thing,” he added with a slight smile.
“You shared tonight and even lived to deny it.”
He chuckled and pulled her close, eased her head down onto his shoulder. “You’re easy to talk with.”
“So are you,” she muttered. “What should we do about the rest of the week?”
“Carry on,” as Mom would say. “I figure it’d only make it worse to go home. We’ll give her lots of attention and fun times. As soon as we’re home, I’ll set an appointment with her therapist. Maybe it’s time to get her that puppy she’s been wanting.”
“She would love that.” Haley looked up at him. “Knowing that Kayla will get professional help eases my worry. All I know to do is give her lots of love and affection. Listen when she wants to talk and support her.”
“Don’t under-rate that. Loving and supporting her will go a long way.”
“I hope so,” Haley murmured.”
“I know so.” Ethan pulled her snugger and she melted against him and hoped he could feel the comfort she offered. She could be there for Kayla. She wanted to do this. R
aising a child was not easy, especially raising one by yourself. She worried about that with Ryan all the time, and he had not had the emotional trauma that Kayla had. Why did life have to be so rough? Haley’s heart went out to Kayla. And Ethan. All Haley had ever wanted since Ryan had been born was to be a good and loving mother. She was determined to be all the things her parents hadn’t been for her, especially her father.
She hadn’t known what a good father was until she’d come to work for Ethan. He was kind and caring and showed Kayla every day how much he loved her. He was also strong and stable and made sure she knew the rules and obeyed them, all while being fair and loving. He had no idea what a gift that was to a child. Watching Ethan with Kayla had shown Haley that not every man was like her dad. Haley was grateful she had finally seen for herself how a good father treated his children. The fact that Ethan treated Ryan the same touched her deeply.
She raised her head and smiled at him. “I’m glad you trust me with your daughter, because I trust you with my son, and I never thought I’d be able to trust any man with Ryan who wasn’t his dad. Why would I after my experience with a father who either ignored me or belittled me? I didn’t even know what being a good father ‘looked’ like. But after seeing you with the kids, I’m starting to understand what that should be. Thank you for your example.”
“Don’t put me on a pedestal, Haley. I have my moments just like anyone else.”
“Maybe so, but I’ve never seen you lose your temper with Kayla or be mean to her. You’re a good father, and I admire you.”
He tucked her head back onto his chest and rested his chin on the top of her head. She snuggled in, enjoying being held. She need to be held and was certain Ethan did too. After several minutes, he shifted and she lifted her head. His lips were only inches from hers, and her breath hitched.
She thought for a minute he might kiss her, but he stood and edged her away from him. “I could talk with you all night, but we need to get some sleep, and I need to get away from you before I do something we’ll both regret.”
A Home for Haley Page 16
