It’s easy to pilfer a weapon from the ground in Baglie. I find a broadsword and charge the first being in my line of sight. The fighting helps me remember who I am and what I’m fighting for. Creatures that fall here only come back to suffer over and over again in a relentless cycle. The wails and war cries are a constant hum I long for to clear my head as I battle and slay whoever sets foot before me.
For the life of me, I can’t figure out how Lucifer’s gaining her trust! Does he go to her? Does she seek him out? There’s no way Jack would allow that. He’s supposed to be protecting her.
Images of Jack’s hands on her cause my fury to blaze.
Fucking prick! If it wasn’t for me, she would be bound to Beleth, and who knows what her destiny would hold! You left her to fight alone! I’m the one who held her together. I’m the one who brought her back from despair. I’m the one who’s loved her since the beginning.
A demon fractures my nose in my distracted state. I'm quick to behead him with a swift spin of my sword. It clears my head, then I start thinking straight.
She’s better off without me. She belongs to him. I may have longed for her since I first laid eyes on her, but I know I can’t be her destiny. My essence is blackened. It doesn’t belong with a heart as pure as hers. I can’t get in the way of their bond. I should sever the bond between us, but I covet the feeling of being close to her. I should find a Virtue of the Light on the surface that’ll be willing to unbind us… I will. As soon as I think it’s safe to surface again, I’ll find one.
Chapter 12
Ivy
Telly meets me in the cave of the portal to Sheol, carrying a satchel across her chest. I’ve been pacing back and forth, waiting for the last twenty minutes for her to show up.
I start in on her, “Where the hell have you been?”
She lifts the satchel over her head as she rolls her eyes, “A ‘thank you’ would be nice. You don’t know what I had to go through for this.” Setting the satchel on the ground next to the glowing pool of water, she pulls its flap open to reveal a small, black, plastic bag with a knot tied in the top. She hands the bag to me, “Here. This should get you through the gates of Sheol.”
Taking the bag from her by the knot, I have to support the weight of it with my other hand. Heat radiates through the bag, and its mushy contents are forgiving against my palm. “What is it?”
Telly’s tone turns dark and serious, “It’s a heart of a demon.”
On instinct, I release the bag, but she catches it before it can hit the ground. “Are you kidding me! Tell me your joking. Tell me that’s not a demon’s heart.”
“It’s the only thing to get on the good side of a hellhound. There’s no other way around it.”
As she passes the bag back to me, I cringe. “That’s disgusting. How did you even get a demon heart?”
She places the satchel back over her shoulder, “Some things you don’t want to know. Don’t open the bag until you’re through the other side.”
“Thanks,” I mumble.
“Good luck,” she calls with a wave over her head as she walks out of the cave.
My wings shiver when I glance at the bag in my hands. “Right.”
Standing before the green pool of the portal, I clutch the demon heart to my chest and dive in head first. The struggle to get through the water seems harder since I only have one free hand to help propel myself deeper. My wings undertake most of the task, and I try my best not to drown. The fire in my lungs and pressure in my head is almost too much before I resurface inside Sheol.
I gasp for breath, clawing at the edge of the golden portal and dragging myself out. Dammit, Solas! You better come back with me after all this shit.
When I make it to my feet, I let my eyes adjust to the darkness. I fumble with the black bag to tear it open and hesitate before scooping up the heart of a demon. I force myself not to think about who it belongs to or how Telly came by it. It’s still warm, coated in thick, sticky blood.
With tentative steps, I journey down the corridor that’s sure to lead me to Sasha. My nose burns with sulfur and death. I fight the urge to puke. Before long, the warm glow of Sasha’s eyes are feet ahead of me. I freeze in place. The low growl in her throat makes me want to run, but I have a mission. I refuse to cower away this time. She shifts forward and I want to bolt, yet her eyes appear less menacing, as if she was expecting me. Her heavy footfalls stalk forward, measuring the danger I pose.
I coo, “Easy girl. I don’t want to hurt you. I just need to find someone.”
Sasha growls again, sending chills down my spine. With a shaky hand, I present the demon heart to her. Her searing breath meets my face, and I squeeze my eyes shut as my lashes curl away from the extreme temperature.
Her abrasive tongue glides against the back of my hand. This isn’t happening. This isn’t happening, I repeat as a mantra. I chance a glance with one eye. She laps the heart into her mouth with her long, black tongue. My gaze widens as she angles her head back, choking the bleeding heart down in two scarfs.
Sasha rocks back, lowering her head to the ground in a bow. I’m stunned. I still have a hard time believing my vision has come true once again. Anything can change the outcome, so I play it out.
“Sasha.”
Leveling her massive head to mine, she gives me her full attention.
“Will you let me pass?”
My breath hitches when the overheated leather skin of her face rubs my arm. Gripping the hilt of the sai strapped to my thigh, I wait for her to try and take a chunk out. To my surprise, she steps beside me before nudging me forward with her snout.
I study her over my shoulder. She coughs a bark to urge me on. Glancing down the dark corridor, I see the fork splitting off the different directions to take and wonder which way she will lead me. Sasha snorts behind me, then travels past as if the animosity between us never existed. Taking a deep breath, I follow.
For what seems like an hour, we travel the dark corridors. I question if I’ll see anything but the oozing rock walls on either side of me. A keening bark comes from ahead. Sasha’s heckles ripple with a growl in answer. I ready my hands to grab my sai. A hellhound pounces from the darkness. Sasha attacks the guard, quickly bringing him down by the neck. My heart pounds in my chest as I watch the lesser hound writhe in fear of her. She keeps her jaws locked on its throat, growling until it abandons its efforts with a whimper. She snorts at the immobile hellhound as she releases him, and makes her way back to my side.
“Thank you,” I tell her.
In answer, Sasha pushes her large head beneath my hand. I let my touch graze between her jackal-like ears and down her leathery back, causing a saccharine purr to rumble in her chest.
We walk past the debilitated hellhound and through the corridors for another mile before the gates of Sheol appear. They’re not at all what I’d expected. Instead of tall, black, iron gates that would swing wide for entry, I’m taken aback at the sight of thousands upon thousands of limbs belonging to various creatures. They intertwine and bisect each other, building a wall of blood, skin, and bones with a hundred-foot archway blocked by fire.
I stand in place as I watch Sasha step through the flames as if they don’t bother her a bit. Stepping closer, I can feel the heat. Sasha waits on the other side, then barks for me to follow.
Alright, Ivy. Just jump through. Quick and easy… Painless… Yeah, right.
Before I can chicken out, I charge through the flames. As I come through the other side, I’m relieved to find that I’m still in one piece. There wasn’t any heat as I passed. I look back to the gates, discovering an empty archway void of flames.
It was an illusion.
Sasha swipes her paw across the dirt to get my attention. When I turn around, a wide castle of infinite stories spans in front of me. Swallowing down a nervous lump in my throat, I remind myself why I’m here.
We approach an open gate into the castle, and Sasha guides me through the pitch black structure. My boots stic
k to the floor like tar. Soft moans and whispers carry through the air around me. It’s getting harder to breath the longer it takes us to pass through, so I pretend I’m in a haunted house versus the hell that’s become my reality.
“You shouldn’t be here,” one says.
Another cries, “Can you take me home?”
I pat Sasha’s hide, “Can we go a little faster?”
She scares me a moment when her teeth graze my arm, but she never clenches down as she tugs me forward and we speed out of the castle.
My lungs immediately heave, causing me to gag and cough for fresh air, only to be met with the humidity and sulfuric stench of Sheol. When I can manage to breath without choking, I ask Sasha, “What the fuck was that?”
Her howl travels like thunder. Its sadness makes my heart ache, and I reach out to stroke her neck. Not realizing the wall I built around my empathic abilities came down when I lost focus during my choking fit, her pain and sorrow flow through me unexpectedly. “I’m so sorry, Sasha. I don’t understand why you’re upset.”
My hand drops away from her leathery skin, and I look to the span of openness ahead of us.
“The sorrow of the souls in limbo is heavy,” a raspy voice says.
I gasp. “Did you just talk to me?”
“Yes,” she replies.
“How long have you been able to do that?”
“Since I was created. I only speak to those I trust. You are a warrior, Ivy. You have proven you are worth my allegiance, and I am willing to protect you through your journey.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“There is no need for words. Your actions will suffice.”
I hesitate a moment. “So, that was limbo?”
“It is called Bam. It is the language of The King. It means ‘forgotten’.”
“Do you know where I can find my friend?”
“No, but I will take you through each stratum until you find them.”
“Each? How many stratums are there?”
“Nine.”
“Oh. What’s the next one?”
“It is Babalond, a place for harlots and the lustful.”
“Sasha, I didn’t realize how big this place was. I’m out of time. I have to get back, but I’ll return tomorrow. Will you still guide me through the stratums?”
“I will. Come. I will guide you back through the gates to the portal and wait for your return.”
“Thank you.”
After drenching myself in vinegar again and changing into a fresh set of clothes at my house off Red Meadow campus, I fly back to the manor before daybreak. Setting foot into the quiet house with only the sounds of my family breathing softly in their sleep, my grief hits me like a train.
I stifle my sobs, covering my mouth with one hand as my other presses against the sickness in my stomach. I collapse to the floor of my room and rock myself. Alice comes through the open french doors of the terrace, her body crumpling on top of mine. I force my empathic wall up to save her from my pain.
She squeezes me tight, “Oh, honey. What’s wrong?” I shake my head, refusing to speak. “Please, tell me. What happened? Did you have a nightmare?”
I cry, “I can’t. I’m sorry. I can’t.”
She sits back, taking me in as she brushes my wet hair from my face. “Shhh. It’s ok.”
It’s not ok. Nothing is ok. How am I supposed to find Solas? Sheol’s an endless chasm. I can’t feel him. I can’t find him. I need him back. I need him with me. It’s too hard. I’m failing him. I don’t know how long I have until a Son of Light comes for me. I won’t be able to search for him after that. It has to be now. It hurts so much. Oh, it hurts.
I cry until I have no tears left. Alice helps me to bed and leaves without another word spoken between us.
Mid-afternoon, Jack wakes me with a kiss. “Hey, Sunshine,” he whispers as he stands up.
I feel light-headed, my body aches from head to toe, and my mind doesn’t seem to want to catch up with reality. “Hey. You’re back.” I bolt upright, “You’re back! Did you find her? Where is she?”
Jack’s face falls with disappointment. “She was there, but we were too late. We tried tracking her, but she was always one step ahead of us. I don’t know how we’re going to find her now.”
I fall back to my bed. “She’ll show up eventually. She’s put in too much effort to give up now,” I mumble.
He nods absentmindedly, “Yeah. I hope so.” The silence lingers between us before he clears his throat. “You hungry?”
“Yeah. I need to eat something. I’m starving. Let me take a shower and I’ll meet you downstairs.”
Jack flashes his million dollar smile, “How about I meet you on the balcony?”
Giving him a sleepy smile, I reply, “Sounds good.”
The french doors to the balcony are shut with the curtains closed over to give me privacy while I dress after my shower. Voices travel through as Alice tells Jack she’s worried about me. After throwing on a pair of jeans and a three-quarter sleeve baseball tee over a racer back tank, I draw the curtains back to find my balcony crowded with my friends. Breakfast is coving every inch of the table while everyone holds their overloaded plates as they eat. Opening the doors wide, I greet everyone with a slight tilt of my head, “Morning.” It comes out more of a question because I wasn’t expecting everyone to have breakfast on the balcony with Jack and me.
“Morning,” they echo as Jack hands me a cup of coffee. Beck’s greeting is muffled by the food in his mouth, but his gaze is skeptical. I brush off his mood and kiss Jack on the cheek, “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
I prod, filling a plate with toast and fruit, “What were we talking about?”
Alice crosses her legs and balances her plate on her knee before picking up her glass of orange juice, “Jack was just going to tell us what happened in Death Valley.” She takes a drink, and I walk behind her to sit cross-legged on the terrace wall with my food and coffee. Letting the mug warm my hands in the chilly weather, I look to Jack, waiting for him to start telling us what happened.
He gives me a smile with a wink. The corner of my mouth quirks up before I take a sip of the scorching caffeine. Jack begins, “Not much to tell. We showed up at one of the protected areas where tourists aren’t allowed. There was an opening deep in a cave, with evidence of her living there for a short time. It looked like she’d been going there frequently over the years. It was obvious the place was lived in. It reeked of sulfur. We just missed her by time we made it there.”
I ask, “How did you track her?”
“Michael has some unique ability for finding others. Nobody really knows how it works. I just followed along. She was always a step ahead of us though. Everywhere we thought she would be was a dead end.”
Cass adds, “She knows she’s being hunted. Why would she not hide in Sheol as she always has? Why stay on the surface?”
Eric answers, “To stay closer to what she’s hunting for herself… Ivy.”
Jack concurs, “Agreed. We need to be on the lookout for anything suspicious within five-hundred miles. I’ll talk to some friends and see if they’ll help us keep an eye out. They’ll contact me if anything shows up.”
Beck pushes off the terrace wall and steps towards the table to refill his plate, “With the increased threat level, do you think that’s why Michael grounded Ivy?”
My irritation surfaces with a growl before I can stop it. Every head snaps in my direction. I reign back the scowl on my face. Alice tries to comfort me, “It’s for the best, sweetie. Nothing can sense you while you’re inside the barrier of the wards.”
I jump off the terrace wall, tossing my plate and empty mug on the table, “I’m sick of this shit! Why am I being forced into hiding? I don’t need you guys to babysit me. I’m not made of fucking glass! I can take care of myself. If they want me, they can come and get me.”
No one says a word or tries to stop me as I stomp through my room and make my
way to the barn for some peace and quiet, yet my thoughts are loud.
If Michael has a way of tracking people, he knows I’ve been leaving the manor. What’s he going to do about it though? I wonder if he told Evelyn and that’s how she knows. Has he told Jack? Jack would’ve said something if he knew. Does Michael know why I’ve been leaving or does he only know that I haven’t been following his orders. You would think an angel of his stature would have better things to worry about—finding Lilith, for one—than trying to keep track of me.
Max greets me with a soft nicker when I open his stall and close it behind me. “Hey, Max. Can I hide out in here with you?” I rub his neck and give him a little pat before sliding down the far corner to the straw bed of his stall. “This is ridiculous, Max. How do they imagine me to be the warrior I’m expected to be if they keep trying to protect me from every threat that comes my way. I can’t keep hiding from Sheol.”
Maximus grinds the grain from his feed bucket. I let the constant sound fill my tired mind. Leaning my head back against the stall, I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I’m extremely tired. I haven’t had enough sleep between my trips to find Solas, and it’s catching up to me. As I fall asleep sitting up, I plan to start hoarding energy drinks, because coffee is not doing the trick for me.
One moment I’m dreaming of Solas as Gideon again, the next moment Jack’s laying me in my bed. I blink a few times, trying to wake up. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to fall asleep out there.”
The worry across his face has me feeling guilty. He asks, “What’s going on with you? Why are you so tired all the time?”
I push myself to sit up, “I’m not.”
“Alice said she’s noticed you’re exhausted too. It’s not just me. Is it the nightmares? Are they back?” I don’t answer. “You don’t have to hide them from us. We understand.” I focus on the wall over his shoulder, not wanting to meet his eyes. “I don’t mind staying in here with you. You need sleep, Ivy. Let me help you.”
“No,” I object a little too forcefully. “I mean… I’m not having nightmares. It’s just… I have a lot on my mind with everything going on. It’s just hard to fall asleep.”
Gilded Inferno (The Helio Trilogy Book 2) Page 13
