by Piper Stone
But I’d been able to catch the same look of sadness on his face that I knew existed on mine. We were all lost souls in a sea of lies.
Wade’s powerful slam on the table immediately drew my attention, his eyes showing exactly what he planned on doing to me. When he lifted my legs off the table, immediately sliding his tongue into the cleft of my ass, I gripped the edge, trying to control my breathing.
The feel of his tongue buried inside my asshole was unexpected, so damn incredible. All I could do was moan, incapable of even thinking coherent words. I also felt the pressure of his fingers as they pushed their way into my darkened hole, moving in a wicked orchestration with his long tongue.
When he drew back, laughing in such an evil manner, a series of shivers rushed down my spine. He remained rough in his actions as he tossed me onto my stomach, smacking both hands on my bruised backside. I wasn’t even aware that he’d released his massive cock until he rubbed his shaft against me.
“So damn wet. So fucking hot. Big Daddy is going to take that tight little ass of yours. You ready for it, darlin’?” Whether I was or not, he pulled my cheeks apart, tapping his fingers on my asshole before sliding the tip of his cock to my entrance. I expected his brutal actions to continue but the way he slid inside, allowing my muscles to expand before clamping around the thick invasion only fueled the excitement.
As I’d experienced before, a wash of pain almost instantly shifted into an incredible feeling of warmth, his cock throbbing as he filled me. I could tell my entire body continued to shake, a sizzling wave of heat running the length of my body. Even after blinking several times, I could no longer focus, merely accepting that he was staking his claim.
Taking my ass.
Stealing what little vulnerability I’d had left.
The little voice inside my head ridiculed me with the need to be ashamed, but how could anything this amazing be shameful? I almost laughed as the sound of skin hitting skin became louder than his primal cries. And suddenly everything was a beautiful blur as I squeezed my muscles, pretending as if I was actually in control.
As the warm gush rushed into my dark hole, my thoughts drifted back to several questions.
Were they capable of doing terrible things? While I knew the answer in my soul, I also realized that I wasn’t certain I cared.
Chapter Eight
Crockett
The searing flames licked at the dome of wood I’d created, embers flickering up toward the late morning sky, infusing with the clouds rolling in. There were no lingering signs of the ice storm, the frozen pellets soaking into the green grass. I’d always loved the freshness of the soil just hours after a storm had passed, but all I could do was try to rid the vicious memories that had returned with a vengeance.
The outside gazebo. The scent of fresh flowers. The feel of the warm breeze against my cheek as the lure of anticipation kept me on edge. The sound of laughter even as the beautiful strains of music floated toward the heavens. The vision clouding my senses as she walked toward me.
Then the cracking noises coming from the dense trees.
And blood.
So much blood.
I closed my eyes, my arms shaking as I held the dress against my chest. Even the pounding of my heart couldn’t drown out the screams that would never leave my mind.
I reached for my throat as a suffocating wave clenched my muscles, making it impossible to breathe. After all the years of running, I was finally forced to realize that I could never escape the past or the tragedy that had altered my world forever.
A single crack occurred to my right and my hand went immediately to my weapon, prepared to fire.
Prepared to kill without a conscience.
Unlike all those years before.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to disturb you.” Kelly’s tone was hushed, her eyes open wide as she searched for some reason I’d almost shoved a gun into her face. Then her gaze fell to my heaving chest then finally to the wedding dress I held so tightly in my arms.
Her wedding dress.
The one she’d been forced to wear.
In her hand was a glass of wine, her long fingers wrapped around one of four crystal stems placed carefully in the pristine cabinets. Cabinets she’d now altered by no fault of her own. She’d had no way of knowing the kitchen had been labeled off limits, with only the refrigerator as an exception. The scent of fresh coffee had been enough to rile me but seeing her standing with a cup in her hand, wearing clothes I hadn’t touched in years had yanked open a padlocked door, anger and sadness overwhelming.
I swallowed several times although the lump still remained in my throat, studying the way she took a sip of wine.
As if she expected I’d chastise her, screaming that she was doing it wrong.
I hadn’t noticed her formerly manicured nails were chipped and broken, another reason to hate the motherfucker who’d attempted to destroy her life.
And I didn’t even know him.
The wine was nothing more than a representation of all things civilized. Parties and barbecues, drinks with friends at the local bar. Good times. Happy moments. Memories forged. Even sadness contained. It was something I’d sworn against, turning to hard liquor in order to tame the damaged beast.
I closed my eyes once again as I released the handle of my Glock, clenching my fingers shut in an effort to stop the shaking. I’d told her I wasn’t a good man, but she had no idea just how cutthroat I was, how cold and heartless I could be.
I hadn’t realized I’d moved closer until I opened my eyes once again, but as I stood only inches away, the scent of whatever shower gel I’d purchased years before wafted into my nostrils. Everything about Kelly was enigmatic, the draw far more powerful than I wanted to admit to myself. I raised my arm, cringing at the way she flinched, and very lightly ran my fingers across her cheek, rolling the tip of my index finger around her lips.
When she issued a slight moan, I eased my hand away, my fingers seared from the mere touch of her.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
“For what?”
“You aren’t him. You’re not cruel or mean-spirited.”
I chuckled softly to myself. “I didn’t used to be, Kelly, but time changes a man.”
“No, I don’t buy that on any level. You might have a gruff exterior in your effort to fit in, but that’s all.”
She thought she knew me. “Don’t. You don’t have any clue what I’m about.”
“No, you’re right. I don’t.” A full minute passed. “I was told it was okay to come outside.” Her throaty whisper almost inaudible, she darted a quick glance toward the fire, her lip curling slightly.
The deep breath I finally managed to take didn’t give me any comfort, the pain in my chest remaining. When I didn’t answer, she slid her arm under the dress, tugging until I released it. She seemed emotionless as she tossed it into the fire, yet her eyes held the shimmer of someone damaged beyond understanding.
We stood silently, watching as the flames consumed the spun silk and satin a few inches at a time, the orange flame sating its hunger. She was just as mesmerized by the flames as she had been when she’d realized what I’d been holding.
There were no words needed to explain the contents of the bonfire or the reason behind the symbolic burn. We both understood the ramifications.
“Ugly dress.” Kelly laughed after saying the words.
I couldn’t help but smile. “Yes, it was.” I could tell burning something she’d loathed had already been good for her, a piece of her soul returning.
“I know you’re wondering if I’m merely being dramatic about why I left,” she said with no inflection as she continued to stare at the fire.
“There are always reasons why we do things that may never be understood by another, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t viable or painful.”
“Said like a man who understands pain well.”
As I exhaled, the slight crackling sound of the lace was sweet music. �
�Don’t we all, Kelly?”
“I suppose you’re right.”
Another wave of tension settled in, just as unnerving as before. My body ached as it had from the first moment I laid eyes on her, but my mind wanted to wrap her in a blanket just to keep her safe and warm.
“I’ve asked myself why I fell into such a horrible relationship when I knew better,” she mused.
“And did you find the answer?”
She laughed nervously, her hand shaking enough a few drips of wine spilled over the edge. “I think we all want to believe in something special, that moment when you don’t have to be alone any longer. I didn’t allow myself to catch the signs, instead pretending that he wasn’t the monster he turned out to be. I even tried to pull away from him, forming a new life in another city and for almost two years, I thought I’d put the past behind me.”
“But he found you,” I said casually.
“Yes. Don’t ask me how. I even changed my identity, using my mother’s maiden name. I switched phones and credit cards. Even the kind of job I’d been doing. Then one day I swore I saw him on the street corner. I was terrified, locking myself behind closed doors for two days. When nothing else happened, I laughed at my ridiculous behavior and went back to my life. Another week went by then two.”
I slowly turned my head, the tension running through my body creating cramps in my hands and feet.
“Then he reappeared. There was no initial pressure, no brutal angry man appearing on my doorstep. First it was little things including beautiful notes with no indication that he wanted me back. Then the flowers were sent to my job and my house. Dozens of roses with cards attached saying the most incredible heartfelt words. I knew then that he’d never let me go. I hired an attorney, even though I didn’t have any money and the jerk suggested I try and work it out. So I took matters into my own hands.” She tilted her head, her expression one of glee as the last recognizable piece of the dress shifted into dust.
“You went to see him.”
Kelly nodded, finally turning to face me. “I know it sounds crazy, but I thought I could reason with him. He seemed very different at first, apologetic but not so much that I thought it was an act. Then we went to dinner a few times and the romance started all over again, but it was short lived. A single argument and he exploded, ordering his... security detail to strip the bedroom I’d been sleeping in of everything, including my possessions. I stayed mostly in that fucking awful room for almost five months. Five. Fucking. Months.” She looked away quickly, but not before I noticed the tears in her eyes, her mouth clenching in an effort to keep from crying.
Jesus fucking Christ. How could anyone do that to another person?
What the hell do you think you’re doing?
The thoughts rushing in my mind were damning and right. I had no business making any kind of a raw and vicious deal with a woman who’d been imprisoned by some freak.
I gently cupped her jaw, pulling her face toward me. “You must think me a real monster, nothing better than the asshole who hurt you.” I brushed a falling tear, instinctively pulling my finger to my mouth. While she blinked several times, she watched me intently.
“No, I don’t. You told me that you’d punish but not hurt me and while saying the words seem insane, I believed you. Like I said, I can see an incredible man, even though you’re trying to hide it. I shouldn’t feel close to you or to the others, but I do. There is no explanation, no ability to make sense of what I’m feeling. A connection. As if fate somehow brought us together.”
I’d never been much of a romantic even in my former life. While I felt the same kinetic energy that she did, there were still so many unanswered questions, even if my primal side wanted to keep her. I rubbed my thumb back and forth. What concerned me about what she’d confessed was that if this asshole had the ability to track her down, he was entirely in a different league than I’d originally thought. I knew the asshole’s type. He was a man who’d lost a precious possession and would indulge in various and very dangerous tactics in order to get her back.
No matter how much blood he shed.
“I know that sounds insane. I’m sorry.”
“I need you to trust me, Kelly. Nothing you say to me sounds insane, but I need to ask you a couple questions. I do have my reasons and you’re going to need to take my word for it. Can you do that?”
She shifted her eyes back and forth, finally sighing. “I can try. Whatever you and the guys are into seems just as dangerous as what I’m going through.”
“You let me worry about that. What does this man do?”
She nuzzled into my hand then pulled away, flicking her fingers over her lips. “That’s just it. I have no idea other than he has his hand in several business operations. I’m not a stupid woman, Crockett. I searched him on the internet, delving into everything I could find about him. While on the surface he appeared to be exactly what he purported himself to be, I tried to dig even deeper, talking to one of his business associates. I can assure you, he didn’t like that very much. He has a very tight group of friends. As far as what his profession is, from what I could tell, he’s an investor in struggling companies, supposedly turning them around with his expertise.”
“But you don’t believe that,” I huffed.
“I don’t know what to believe. He certainly didn’t answer my questions even early on, but I can tell you that he has a significant buildup of wealth. He’s also influential. You have to understand that there is no doubt in my mind he will try and get me back. I’m scared, Crockett. For me. For all three of you. I just... When this deal is over, at least you won’t have to worry about any of this. You certainly don’t need my shit.”
She was still not only harboring his privacy but keeping significant secrets. The yin and yang of her comments indicated that clearly enough. I pulled away from her, the same demons fighting to keep me from getting any closer to her. She was right in that I had enough on my plate as it was. My desires for a beautiful taste of normalcy couldn’t interfere with the current job or any in the future for that matter.
I also refused to keep her against her will any longer than necessary.
“Why do you do that?” she asked. “Pull away from me?”
“You need your space. I respect that and as I told you, I have my reasons.”
“And you and I know that’s not what’s going on here. I could see how much what I told you bothered you, but you shut down. Yes, I get you have some big business deal going on that’s likely illegal, but I saw your face this morning in the kitchen. You weren’t angry that I’d disobeyed Wade.”
“Yes, I was.” My insistence sounded weak as shit.
She appeared exasperated, taking a step closer. “No. What I saw was a glimpse of your past. You didn’t want me touching anything in that kitchen. Not the stove that hasn’t been used a single time or a plate. And definitely not the mugs that had been positioned just so. This cabin? You built it for someone to spend the rest of your life with. And you ran away from it, returning often enough to make certain the grass was fertilized and over-seeded, the contents kept just as you’d left them years ago. Whoever she was, you can’t get over her and that destroyed you, changing you into this rough and tumble biker who from all appearances stepped on the other side of the law. And do you know what that tells me? That I’m right about you. You’re a pretty amazing guy, only you have no way of finding yourself any longer.”
I was surprised she’d realized every aspect of a life that I couldn’t let go of, a dream that had merged once again in the nightmare it actually was.
“Don’t. Just don’t, Kelly. You may think you have a handle on who and what I am, but you don’t have a single freaking clue. I am that same kind of fucking monster that you likely have nightmares about. I am not some hero that you need, the kind of man who will sweep you up in his arms.” I heard the increase in the volume of my voice as my anger heightened, but I wasn’t prepared to talk to anyone about what had happened.
; Including the woman who just might be a way back to salvation. No. I refused to allow anyone to get close to me ever again. They would only lose in the end and I couldn’t handle a single additional helping of guilt.
“Who was she? Did she leave you after you professed love? Did you talk about getting married and that’s why you couldn’t stand to see the sight of my wedding dress?”
I grabbed her by the wrist, yanking her against my chest, fisting her hair with my other hand. We both watched as the wineglass tumbled toward the ground, bouncing several times before cracking into several pieces. “Leave. It. Alone.”
“Or what?” she demanded.
“Or you won’t like what happens.”
Her lower lip trembled as she slammed her fist against my chest even as she arched her back, rising onto her tiptoes. “I don’t think you want me to leave it alone. I think you need me to know what you’ve been through. I think you’re dying to tell me. All this bullshit bravado means you’re hiding, and you know what? It’s from yourself. Push me away. I’m a damn fool not to simply get the hell out of here.”
“You can’t.”
“And you obviously don’t know me very well either. Get your hands off me. I assure you, I won’t give a shit about you.”
By all rights I should shove her away, keeping her at arm’s length but I couldn’t. Instead, I crushed my mouth over hers, thirsting for every inch of her. I wanted her scent covering my body, filling my nostrils. I hungered to keep the taste of her on my tongue, the warmth of her body contained in a bottle. I needed this woman.
To hold.
To cherish.
To protect.
To love.
Fuck. Me.
Love could never be in my life again. Ever.
She was right that I wanted to tell her, to share the horrors that had been my life, but no one needed to hear that I’d lost my shit, losing everything that had been important to me.
