by Maggie Walsh
Micah moved closer so he was next to Jesse. Their thighs were just barely touching. Micah cautiously took Jesse’s hand. Two strong, gentle fingers went under Jesse’s chin and lifted it up till Jesse’s eyes met Micah’s.
“I promise you, I didn’t agree with what Thomas said. I don’t agree with what Thomas said. I think you are very special, Jesse. You are the most beautiful man I have ever seen. You take my breath away. Your voice is so mesmerizing. I can listen to you sing for the rest of my life and it still wouldn’t be enough. I am so in awe of you. I don’t know what I did right in this life that fate smiled down so generously on me, to grant me you as my mate. If I ever meet fate I will drop to my knees, and kiss her feet in thanks for choosing you for me.”
Jesse’s bottom lip started trembling as he was trying very hard to hold in the tears from Micah’s beautiful words. He was shaking slightly, and one tear rolled down his cheek. Micah’s thumb swiped across his cheek to wipe the tear away. Micah’s heart soared when Jesse rubbed his cheek against his hand and closed his eyes. Then Jesse pulled away with hurt in his eyes that just shredded Micah’s heart.
“Why did you laugh at me? If you truly feel all of that, then why did you laugh at me?” Jesse whispered, his voice full of hurt.
Micah was stunned and confused. “When did I laugh at you sweetheart?”
Jesse pulled away, but Micah held his hand tight and kept Jesse on the couch. “Please, Jesse?” Micah pleaded.
“When you kissed me,” Jesse whispered shyly.
Micah tilted his head in confusion as he studied Jesse. Then it dawned on him, and he smiled and lightly laughed. Jesse’s eyes turned from hurt to angry, but Micah quickly explained, “I wasn’t laughing at you baby. I was so damn happy. Happy to have finally found you. Happy to have you in my arms. Happy to be kissing you, the way I had been dying to kiss you since I realized you were my mate. Happy that you didn’t push me away. That you were kissing me back, and then the most beautiful, hard-on-worthy moan escape your lips. I was just soaring that I did that. That I gave you, my mate pleasure. I was the one to make you make that sound. I just couldn’t hold back my joy. It was great on my ego, too. But I swear, baby, I swear I wasn’t laughing at you.”
“Oh.” Jesse was speechless. His face was pink from his blush. He didn’t know what to say. “Is it just because I’m your mate? That fate pushed us together, or…” Micah put a finger over Jesse’s lips to quiet him.
“No, baby. I was captivated by you the moment I heard you sing. Then when I saw you, you took my breath away, made my heart pound. Nothing like that has ever happened to me before. Then when you came to me and danced in front of me, I smelled the most intoxicating aroma ever. Like chocolate and cinnamon, with a hint of lavender. Then it hit me, that you were my mate. But I wanted you before I realized who you were.”
They sat there in silence, holding hands for a few minutes. Then Jesse cleared his throat. “I have a really hard time trusting people. Especially men. Alpha types even more.” Micah started to deflate, but Jesse continued. “Rationally, I know it’s not you. That I shouldn’t judge you based on my past, but it’s hard sometimes, you know? I don’t like when people judge me, so I shouldn’t judge you.”
“I understand, Jesse. And I’m sorry that someone has hurt you so bad that you’ve had to build all these walls up to protect yourself. I can only promise you that I won’t hurt you. Not consciously. We hold our mates so high, we give them the utmost respect, and try everything in our power to protect them and nurture them.”
Micah cupped Jesse’s face in his hands and looked in his eyes deeply. “The only thing I can do is show you, to prove it to you. But that means you have to take a leap of faith. And it scares me that you’ve been hurt so bad that you won’t.”
Jesse was quiet for a minute, then he took a deep breath as he decided to just put it all out there. “I don’t know why, but I trust you.” He paused to look at Micah for a moment. “My parents kicked me out when I was eighteen. It was the day after graduation and I told them I was gay. They gave me five minutes to pack a bag and get out. They told me to never come back. They said I was depraved and disgusting. That I was going to hell for my choice. Some choice. Who would willingly choose a life where everywhere you go some people look at you like your garbage, or a child molester, just because you’re gay.” Jesse shook his head and sighed, then continued. “The next day Taylor told his family that he was gay, too. Said that I was brave enough to tell and to be who I was, so he did, too. His father literally threw him out the door. He broke his wrist trying to catch himself. He called me and I took him to the hospital and put it on their insurance. Fuck them.”
Micah was looking at Jesse with compassion and sadness. His hand was rubbing Jesse’s back in comfort.
“So we had my crappy car, the clothes on our backs, my laptop, a backpack with some clothes in it, and a little over a hundred bucks between us, and we took off. We traveled around taking any crappy job we could get. Sleeping in the car. Most days we didn’t even have anything to eat.”
Micah was trying hard to control himself. Hearing that his mate was homeless and hungry was killing him inside, and his wolf was raging.
“We found a great job that we could work together, at a sex toy shop.” He lightly laughed. “But the owner died and we were out of work again. So it was back to living in my car, being hungry and broke. We came up with the idea that in New York City I could find a club to sing in and Taylor could find something. Waiting tables maybe. Maybe work at a clothes store or something. Maybe try out for a Broadway show. But New York is so expensive. It took us a few months, but I did find a job singing at a club on the weekends, and Taylor and I would wait tables there during the week.
“When the owner of the club found out that we were living in my car, he offered us one of the apartments above the club, rent free. We were young, stupid and naive. We jumped at it.” Jesse stopped for a moment. He closed his eyes and swallowed and then took a deep breath and let it out slowly.
“You don’t have to tell me, Jesse,” Micah said soothingly, but Jesse kept going like he didn’t hear him. He opened his eyes and they were so haunted. Staring off into the memories, Jesse continued.
“The customers would grope and grab us. Taylor more because at least I was onstage three nights a week. It would piss me off so much to see all the bruises on Taylor. Sometimes some of those pigs would jump up on the stage and start grabbing at me, trying to strip me. I couldn’t go out into the crowd like I do know, they would have attacked.
“When we complained to the owner, he would just laugh and tell us it was part of the job and to stop being whining girls. So Tay and I finally had enough. We went up to our apartment one night and packed up the little that we had and went to leave. But Nick…” Jesse was shaking as he stopped to take a big breath. He swallowed loudly.
“Nick, the owner, caught us leaving and he had four of the bouncers bring us back upstairs. He told us we couldn’t leave until we paid him back for all the rent and utilities, plus the dishes that Taylor broke when he would accidentally drop them when some pig was grabbing at him.
“He started taking about half of our pay each week. Then he said it wasn’t enough because we were still living there, and the bill would keep getting bigger. There was no way out. We were nineteen and alone, just the two of us. We couldn’t even go outside. Then one day Nick said he would cut the bill in half, but we both had to let him fuck us first. We wouldn’t do it. That’s when the beatings started.”
Jesse had tears running down his face. Micah was still rubbing his back, he was raging inside, struggling to keep his wolf in. He wanted out so he could hunt down the bastard that hurt his mate and his friend. Micah knew he should tell Jesse to stop, but he also knew that Jesse needed to get it out, to tell someone their story. To tell Micah why he was the way he was.
“He let the bouncers start to push us around, grab at us whenever, wherever they wanted. Then one night we went up to our apar
tment, we went in and locked the door. The lights flicked on and Nick and four of the bouncers were there waiting for us. Two of them grabbed me and the other two grabbed Taylor. They were big guys, we didn’t stand a chance. Nick told them to strip us and they did, and they weren’t gentle about it either. Then they held us down, while Nick raped each of us.”
Micah couldn’t believe what he was hearing. How could anyone do that to someone? He just wanted to find this Nick guy and rip him apart. The anger was growing inside him, but he needed to control it for Jesse, he’d been through enough and he didn’t want his mate scared of him.
“He didn’t even use anything. No lube, no condoms, he simply did it, hard and fast. Then he let the guards each have their turn with us. For eight days and nights they kept us in that apartment, doing everything you can imagine to us. We were both so bruised and bloody and just…broken. We were both virgins before that.” Jesse stopped for a moment, he took a few breaths to calm himself and wiped the tears away, then continued. “On the ninth day Nick told us that because he had to force us, that we didn’t willingly give ourselves to him, the bill didn’t go down, but now it was more, because we both missed work for eight days, so now he owned us.
“To start paying off our debt, every night he was going to set up a special date with one of his V.I.P. clients, and we would do whatever they wanted. We were to make them happy no matter what. If we didn’t, he would beat us and add to the bill when we missed a night or two to heal.
“So for the next four years we were trapped there, held prisoner, doing whatever they told us to do. Then they made a mistake. One night we noticed the kitchen door was left unguarded and we ran. We left everything we owned behind and we just ran. We hid and begged for money. We saved most of it, and when we had enough for two bus tickets out of New York, we left. We had enough to get us to Atlanta. We got there with no money to spare and just the ratty clothes on our backs.”
Jesse stopped speaking and ran his hands down his face to wipe away all the tears. The whole time he spoke he just stared at a spot over Micah’s shoulder, afraid to look at him. He couldn’t stand to see the disgust or pity in this big beautiful man’s eyes. The room was quiet, Micah hadn’t said a word. Jesse looked down at his lap, still afraid to meet Micah’s eyes.
Micah was staring off into nowhere, trying with all his power to control his rage. His wolf was clawing to get out, to hunt down everyone who had ever hurt their mate and rip them apart. Jesse shivered and Micah lifted him up and put Jesse on his lap and wrapped his arms around him. Jesse went stiff for a moment. Shocked at Micah’s move. Surprised that Micah hadn’t thrown him out already. This felt so good though, so right, that Jesse relaxed and cuddled into Micah’s bare chest, laying a hand on those strong pecs. Micah’s cock twitched at the skin-on-skin contact, but he held it back. Now wasn’t the time. Micah kissed the top of Jesse’s head, then laid his cheek on it. He gently petted Jesse’s hair, comforting him.
“You don’t have to say any more baby, it’s okay, you’re safe now. I promise you, I will do everything in my power to keep you safe for the rest of our lives,” Micah said gently as he tightened his arms around his mate.
Jesse sniffled and shook his head. “No, I want to tell you everything, full disclosure. If we are mates and destined to spend the rest of our lives together, then I don’t want to go into this with any secrets. You need to know everything so that if you realize I have too much baggage and you want to move on, it’s okay. I’ll understand.”
Micah lifted Jesse’s chin up so he could look into his tear-swollen eyes. “No matter what you tell me, I will always want you, Jesse. The more I learn about you, the more in awe I am of you. Your courage, your honesty, you are so brave, baby. You are the bravest person I have ever met. I don’t ever want to let you go. You amaze me.” Micah softly kissed Jesse’s lips. He pulled back and wiped Jesse’s tears away. Jesse cuddled back into Micah’s chest and sighed. “I don’t feel brave. I always feel scared, I’m just good at hiding it. I’ve always had to. And I need to tell you the rest.” Jesse took a deep breath and continued.
“We got a job at a club in Atlanta. Again, I was singing on the weekends and waiting tables during the week with Taylor. We took every shift we could get so we could start saving money again. Taylor is really good at getting people to have fun and enjoy themselves, so the owner made up a job for him as a party host. Like he has now, Frank never heard of it either, but let Taylor show him what he could do. He liked it and hired Taylor as his party host. Well, I guess he’s your party host. Taylor is really good at reading people. He never trusted Nick or anyone else in the New York club, but we needed the money and…well anyway, he’s really good at reading people, so he gets them having a good time and spending lots of money.
“So we were there about two months when I met Will. He said all the right things, did all the right things. I didn’t want to trust him, and Taylor warned me, but he got me to trust him. I know, stupid of me, but I did. We started dating and about a month into our relationship, I started feeling like maybe he could be the one. Then he started getting abusive and controlling. First it was all mentally and emotionally. He wanted to know where I was at all times. Who I was with, what I was doing. He would come to the club and fight with any guy that would even talk to me, including the customers that I was taking orders from.
“So Mike, the owner, got pissed of course, and banned Will from the club. I started thinking, here we go again. I won’t go through this again. He’s not the man he made himself to appear. He would get upset at everything.
“He couldn’t go to the club, so he would just always be at our apartment. He would get pissed if we told him it was time to leave because we needed to get some sleep. He would get violent and punch the walls because Tay and I slept in the same bed. We still do.”
Micah let out a small growl. Jesse ran his hand up and down Micah’s chest to soothe him. “Sorry,” Micah said sheepishly.
“It’s okay, no one understands mine and Taylor’s relationship. We’ve known each other since the first grade, he has been the only person there for me my whole life. He’s my best friend, he’s like my brother. Back in school when the bullies would come after us, we always had each other’s backs. We’ve been through hell and back together. And with always scrounging for money, a single bedroom with one big bed just made sense. We feel safer that way. But Taylor and I have never had those feelings for each other. We’ve never had any kind of sex together. We may have kissed at times, but not like that. Nothing with tongue or hot and heavy.”
Micah let out a small chuckle and kissed Jesse’s forehead. “It’s okay, sweetheart, I understand. After everything you and Taylor have been through, if you need that to feel safe, then that’s what you both need. I’m just thankful you’ve had Taylor to be there for you, and you for him.”
“Thank you for understanding.” Jesse leaned up and lightly kissed Micah’s lips. Then pulled back and blushed, he cuddled back into him. Micah wrapped his arms around Jesse again and let out a contented sigh.
“So, anyway, Will started getting pissed if I was even one minute late coming home from work. He wanted to know who I was fucking. So he started showing up outside the club to walk me home to make sure I wasn’t fucking around. One night he walked into the bedroom, grabbed a pillow and blanket and threw them at Taylor and yelled “No more,” then grabbed me and dragged me into the bedroom. He wasn’t too gentle with me that night.
“The next day when he showed up to walk me home, I told him I didn’t think we should see each other anymore. He got angry and started choking me right there on the street. Taylor saw and jumped on his back and started punching him. Will let me go and grabbed Tay, he slammed him to the ground. Broke two of his ribs. He took hold of me again and dragged me home. Locked us in the apartment and started screaming at me that we weren’t over until he said we were over. He told me that I wasn’t allowed to sleep with Taylor anymore and that he was moving in and Taylor had to go o
r he would kill him. Then he beat the shit out of me and left. Taylor and I spent the night terrified that he would come back at any minute, but he didn’t.
“We showed up for work the next day and Mike was livid. He took us to the hospital, paid the bill and brought us back to his place above the club. Tay and I were scared to death. Here we go again. But Mike let us rest and when we woke up he had a couple of duffle bags and backpacks with all our stuff in them. He gave us three thousand dollars in cash, then drove us to the bus station. He bought us tickets to Chicago and told us that for our own safety to never come back. He gave us the number to a friend of his in Chicago. She owned a club and told us we should call her and she would have jobs for us.
“He told us he would take care of Will. I don’t know how, I can only imagine what he meant. That was four months ago. Since then Tay and I have been traveling around again. Club to club, doing special engagements. Then we landed here. After the first weekend, Frank offered us permanent jobs. We liked the offer and took it. And now I’m here.”
Micah sat quietly for awhile. Jesse was starting to get nervous. He sighed and shifted to get off Micah’s lap, but Micah held him tight. “Where are you going?”
“I thought…” Jesse trailed off. Micah tightened his hold and kissed the top of Jesse’s head. “You’re not going anywhere, baby. You don’t have to run anymore. I promise you. You and Taylor are safe here. You will both always have a home here. Can you tell me one thing though?”
“Okay,” Jesse whispered.
“Your old boss…Mike? What was the name of the club in Atlanta?” Micah asked.
Pulling back, Jess looked up at Micah in confusion. “Why?”
“Because I’d like to thank him. Send him a bottle of something special. Let him know that you and Taylor are finally safe.”
