Kate had been in the middle of chewing. She pursed her lips and her body started shaking in suppressed laughter. She grabbed the glass of water and took a gulp. Afterward she punched him lightly on the arm. “You did that on purpose.”
“What?” Colt asked, but he couldn’t help but chuckle. He so totally timed that question. He couldn’t help it. Ever since Kate had come out of her catatonic state, there was still a part of her he couldn’t reach. It was like this impenetrable membrane where he could see the promise of them on the other side but the viscous barrier would yield only so much and he couldn’t grasp it. Finally talking about Eric caused a rip in that wall and he felt he could reach in and hold on to her. To what was real.
“You know you don’t have to marry me so I’ll have sex with you.”
Her statement should have irritated him but it didn’t. It was the way she said it with a twinkle in her eye.
Colt gave the meat loaf his exaggerated attention, slicing off a piece and spearing the chunk with his fork. “I’m sorry, Kate. I think you have that backwards. If you want a piece of me, I’m not settling for less than marriage,” he said, before he forked the meat loaf into his mouth.
“Wait a second,” Kate argued. “Last time we had a similar conversation, all you wanted was to start with a date, which, by the way, you canceled. I’m assuming it was because of Josh and Olivia. So, Montgomery, I forgive you.”
“You forgive me,” Colt repeated, amused.
“Yep.”
“Because I had to take care of your kids.”
She laughed. “Honestly, Colt, I don’t know how you haven’t been snapped up yet. What’s wrong with the women in this county?”
“Apparently, I’m the problem,” he replied congenially.
“No, you’re not.”
He raised a brow. “No? Then why are you still resisting me?”
Kate was quiet again. She was shaking her head before she even uttered a word. “It sounds lame, but in this case, it’s true.” She stared him straight in the eyes. “It’s me and not you.”
He gave a derisive huff as her words chafed at his patience.
“Hear me out.” She laid her fork and knife down, finishing her meal. “Our upbringing was different. I didn’t experience any first love or have relationships.” She smiled at him. “I bet you had a high school sweetheart.”
He grunted.
“I never did. I lost my virginity at seventeen to one of my instructors.”
Colt felt his jaw clench. “How old was he?”
“Does it matter?” Kate asked. “He said it was part of my training.”
“That’s a pile of bullshit,” he growled, pushing his plate away. Fury came fast and hot.
“Maybe. I didn’t care,” Kate sighed and nodded at the box of documents on the other end of the table. “You probably know more about me than I know about myself. My life was training, going on ops. If I needed sexual release, I picked up a stranger at a bar, a cafe … and yes, I’ve run into psychos, but …” A corner of her lips tilted up. “I had superpowers back then.”
“But you and Romanov?”
A grimace flitted across her face. “It was because of my experience with him that I preferred anonymous hookups.”
White-hot jealousy mixed with his anger from earlier. Christ. How could he sit in the chair and listen to her talk about the men she’d been with. His emotions must have shown on his face.
“See, I told you it’s a me problem,” Kate said. Hearing the sadness in her words made him want to kick himself.
“Babe, I—”
“It’s not like I had sex with a different man every week. It takes months to prepare for a mission. My sex life was relegated to once every six weeks if I wasn’t recalled early to base. Some years, I went without sex for six months.” Her eyes angled at him teasingly. “Bet you can’t say the same about yourself.”
Colt cleared his throat. “A year.”
Her beautiful eyes grew round like saucers, he almost chuckled despite himself. “Seriously?”
“Since you came back.”
“But didn’t you go out with Mya?”
A sharpness in her tone caught his attention, and elation sparked within him that she could be jealous. “Keeping tabs on me, Kate?”
“It came up in conversation with Cassie.” Her eyes avoided his.
“Mya and I went out for a few weeks,” Colt explained. “It didn’t work out and that’s all I’m saying about it.”
“Any old girlfriends in town gonna give me the stink-eye?”
“Made it a rule not to date anyone from town,” he said and then nodded at her. “Present company excluded.”
“I haven’t moved into town yet,” she reminded him. “And we haven’t been on a date.”
“Yeah? But you’re moving in with me.” Colt’s mood improved at the thought. He might not have been her first, but he was making damned sure he’d be her last.
“I’m moving into the ranch house because of the twins.”
“Whatever helps you sleep at night.” He winked at her.
“You’re so damned infuriating,” Kate declared, twitching her nose.
Colt barked a laugh. “And you’re not?”
“Touché.” With a smile playing on her lips, she picked up her plate and glass and headed to the kitchen.
He collected his own plate and followed her.
She rinsed her plate and loaded it into the dishwasher. When she started to wash the rest of the dirty kitchen implements, Colt stopped her.
“I’ll clean up. Why don’t you rest?”
“Stop coddling me, Colt,” she replied sharply. “If I’m going to live here, I’m carrying my own weight.”
He grasped both her shoulders and turned her to face him. “I’m sure you will, but tonight has been rough for you and I’m telling you now, babe, you need your rest.”
“You’re always telling me to rest.”
“Because every time I’ve seen you, you’ve been running yourself ragged,” he argued. “Something’s bugging you, but you’re good at shoving it into this compartment, keeping your mind and body busy on something else so you won’t have to deal with it.”
Her face paled and her eyes suddenly didn’t know where to look. Colt had struck a nerve, so he pressed his advantage. He moved his hands from her shoulders to frame her jaw, using his thumb to tilt her chin up so she was looking at him.
“I told you before, Goldilocks,” he murmured. “I’ve got your back and I have pretty damned strong shoulders. Lean on me. Tell me what you’re running from and we can face it together. Those kids have the entire town behind them, but they need you.”
I need you.
“Colt—”
He pressed his mouth against hers in a hard, but brief, kiss. Electricity zinged between them and he felt the brush of her tits against his sternum. He took a step back and smirked. “That’s a reminder.”
“Of what?”
“That I’m still after you. You still owe me a date and if we do push through with this marriage thing, it will not be in name only. Now”—he deliberately let his eyes trace her body from head to toe even as the pink flush of her skin tempted his self-control—“you better go to your room.” He cleared his throat. “You’re wearing my shirt, your sexy legs are bare and, if I kiss you again, you’re going to find yourself on the kitchen counter, your panties shredded on the floor, knees to your ears with my cock buried inside you.”
There was a hitch to Kate’s breathing and her lips parted, but she seemed to recover quickly. Her glazed look cleared as a wicked gleam entered her eyes. As she stepped to his side, Kate let a finger trail his ab muscles and his body froze.
He held his breath as she leaned up to whisper close to his ear.
“Who said I was wearing panties?”
Fuck me.
11
Kate
The kids and I hung out at the front porch the following morning. A warm October day chased away the season
al chill, so I thought it would be a good day to enjoy a respite from fall weather.
I wouldn’t say everything was smooth-sailing dealing with the twins as I remembered my standoff with little Olivia earlier. Someone neglected to tell me she was impossible to get out of bed in the mornings.
Mac was in the kitchen when I left my bedroom to get the kids. Colt left early to deal with some TAC matters and left his manager to handle breakfast. Though I occasionally cooked, it wasn’t my forte. I preferred making sandwiches or putting a Pop-Tart in the toaster, but having spent time with the Misty Grove folks, they took their food seriously. ES did too, but a calorie was a calorie, and it didn’t matter where they came from.
Josh was already up, staring out the window watching one of the ranch hands work a stallion at one of the corrals. Olivia was still in deep sleep. Her brother said she’d always been this way. I bent over her and nudged her. Her eyes half-opened and she held out her arms, wanting to be carried. I thought back to the way I coddled Lucas and made him sandwiches, but this was different. I gave affection freely, but I tended to resist when it was demanded of me. Right now, I couldn’t imagine having this scenario repeated every day and it was important to set expectations.
“No. I’m not carrying you,” I said as I straightened and rested my hands on my hips. “You’re going to get up, put your pretty feet in your fluffy slippers, and walk to the kitchen like any normal eight-year-old would.”
One blue eye, so much like mine, peeked at me. “Sleepy,” she grumbled.
I glanced at Josh. “Have you brushed your teeth?”
He nodded.
“Go and see if Mac needs help,” I said.
Josh hesitated and looked at his sister. “What are you going to do to Liv?”
He must have sensed my mild irritation. “Nothing for you to worry about. I’m just trying to get her out of bed.” Or rather get her out of the habit of getting carried in the mornings.
When Josh left the room, she scowled at me. “You sent Josh away.”
“Because he keeps speaking for you,” I replied. “And we know you can speak for yourself. Are you going to get up now?”
“No.”
“Are your legs hurting?”
She shook her head.
“Is there something wrong with your feet?
“I don’t like you anymore,” Olivia informed me as she sat up.
“Tough,” I said. “But if you want breakfast, you’re getting out of that bed. Wash your face and brush your teeth.”
“No.”
“No?” I raised a brow. “Mac’s making bacon and pancakes and the only way you’re going to have any is if you walk out here with me like a normal eight-year-old.”
Her jaw tightened mutinously.
“You seriously want to do this now, missy?” I narrowed my eyes at her.
“My name is Olivia,” she shouted, scrambling off the bed and slamming into the bathroom.
I sighed and welcomed small victories. At least she did as she was told.
By the time the bacon was sizzling, Olivia seemed to have forgotten her little snit in the bedroom. Josh was still wary of what transpired between us and kept sneaking glances between me and his sister.
After breakfast, we settled on the front porch. Olivia sat by my side as if our standoff never occurred. She was drawing in a sketchbook.
A box arrived by courier at breakfast. It was labeled NEST. I knew what those acronyms stood for—Neurological & Empathetic Stimulation & Testing. It was the CIA’s psychological rehabilitation facility, but I had no doubt they did more than rehab there. It contained several workbooks, pencils, and crayons. Olivia immediately took to the coloring set. There were no instructions, so I let her have at it.
Josh moved to the far corner of the veranda. I had a feeling he was picking up on my uncertainty on how to handle them. I didn’t expect them to bond with me overnight. They were way more sensitive than any of my siblings. I wasn’t sure if tough love was the way to go, but that was all I knew. Still, it didn’t help when he set himself apart from me.
“Josh?”
He looked at me.
“Is there a reason you’re over there sitting on the floor? There’s another chair right here.”
The boy gave a long-suffering sigh, got up, and walked over to us.
“You’re afraid of us,” he stated bluntly.
“Uh, I’m pretty sure I’m not.” I smiled.
“You’re afraid we won’t like you.”
“I think you’re misinter—reading the situation wrong, kiddo,” I said. “I haven’t been around children your age in a long time. I’m fumbling a bit, but I’m not scared. If I were scared, you think I’d let Olivia get her way this morning?”
Olivia looked up from her coloring. “Ms. Katie was mean,” she announced, then returned her attention to her workbook.
“Hey, I wasn’t too mean now, was I?” I retorted.
She flashed me a toothy grin.
“I think,” I said, leaning forward and giving Josh an intent stare. “The first thing we need to do is help you control your empath powers.” His eyes lit up with interest, so I knew I was on the right path. It couldn’t be easy knowing what everybody was feeling. “Are you sure you’re not confusing your feelings with mine? Maybe the uncomfortable feeling is you and not me.”
Josh considered this. “Maybe.”
“How do people’s emotions come to you? Do you seek them out?”
“Most of the time.”
“Do you think that’s a good idea?”
“But that’s how I was taught.”
Anger flared inside me. “What they should have taught you is how to turn it on and off. How are you in crowds?”
“I don’t like crowds,” Josh admitted. “I get too nervous. I like being alone.”
Overstimulated, I thought. We might need Porter’s team of experts after all. I was about to respond when my eyes fell on Olivia’s drawing.
Her fingers held a gray crayon and she had shaded the walls of a room. It had one window and that window illuminated a lone empty chair.
My Gray Room.
“Olivia.” My whisper caught in my throat. “What are you doing?”
The child sat back and looked at me sadly. “I’m trying to help you, Ms. Katie.”
“You’re not making sense, Liv,” Josh told his sister.
“No. Wait,” I said. “It does to me. Tell me why you drew this.”
She didn’t answer and looked at Josh.
“Where … where did you see this?”
“Inside you,” Olivia said returning her gaze to me, her eyes were sad. “It’ll hurt you. That’s why I drew it, so you can see how it looks.”
Goose bumps raised the hairs on the back of my neck, very close to the base where I’d shut out the Gray Room.
“Olivia’s right, isn’t she?” Josh asked me. “That’s why you’re scared.”
The only time I’d really been freaked out with children was when I watched The Shining, but this set of twins in front of me may have taken the top spot. I didn’t even have a chance to process what Olivia was telling me. Poor Josh looked shaken.
I couldn’t be more relieved when I saw a vehicle coming down the driveway and wanted to laugh bitterly that I wanted to run away from my own flesh and blood. Recognizing the sheriff’s department’s SUV, I quickly ID’d Trent at the wheel.
“Josh, Olivia, stay here,” I said, getting up from the wicker sofa. “Let me see what the sheriff wants.”
“He wants Mac, not you,” Olivia quipped, giving her attention back to her drawing.
“How do you—never mind,” I said.
This kid.
I skipped down the steps and waited for the SUV to park.
Trent stepped down, but his eyes weren’t on me. He was taking in the twins. I glanced back and saw Josh looking at us. Olivia was oblivious to the newcomer, bowed over her workbook.
“Sheriff.”
“Whose kids are thos
e?” Trent asked, bemused. “Didn’t picture you as a babysitter.”
My laugh came out forced if not a bit shrill. “What brings you here, Sheriff?” I asked, deliberately ignoring his question.
“Mac,” the sheriff answered. “I’m not so sure now. Are those kids living here?”
“Yes … but what’s that got to do with Mac?”
“I brought Sarge with me.”
“Carter’s dog?”
“Yup. None of Carter’s relatives want to take him and my handlers say he’s a smart dog, very good drive, but he doesn’t get along with any of our K-9s. We can’t keep them at the same kennel, but Mac was a military dog handler,” Trent said. “Although, I’m not sure now if the kids are staying here.”
“He’s a good dog,” Olivia spoke behind us.
I watched Trent’s jaw slacken before I closed my eyes at the inevitable.
Jesus Christ, I heard the sheriff mutter. He left my side and walked toward the porch. I turned and saw the girl standing at the top of the steps.
“Well, hello there, sweetheart,” Trent said. “What’s your name?”
“Olivia,” she replied then pointed to her brother. “That’s my brother Josh.”
Great! Now she was a chatterbox.
“Where are your parents?”
Her brows furrowed into a confused frown and then she looked at me.
Shit.
“Seriously, Trent.” I jumped in. “Interrogating kids?”
The sheriff emitted a derisive snort. “Hardly, but”—he gave one shake of his head and then angled his gaze at me—“tell me I’m not within my rights as a sheriff to make sure these kids are fine.”
“Don’t they look fine to you?” My eyes tracked warily to Josh who was frowning at us.
Trent exhaled in resignation. “Is there something we need to discuss later with Cassie and the others?”
There was no other way around it. With the way Trent was looking at me, he already had an idea, but he knew talking about this in front of the twins was not the way to go.
“Yes.”
“I’ll set it up. If I’m not mistaken, Colt and Millie already know about this.” He didn’t look pleased that he was kept in the dark. “We’ll do it at the diner when it closes. Fine with you?”
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