by KT Shears
‘How could I forget? You’re the man who won’t take no for an answer. I’m around, in the sense that I live here so tend to be here in the evenings.’
Asher grinned as he read the text. She was a real tough cookie, but she certainly had a nice, warm interior. His groin twitched just thinking about it.
‘I could come over? I could bring pizza?’
He sent the message and then waited a few minutes. No reply. Shit. As he was staring morosely at his phone, Felipe appeared behind him.
‘You close,’ he said, referring to the test times, ‘but not close enough!’ And he grinned, widely.
Asher shook his head.
‘Just finding my groove, man. Hey, fancy a beer later?’
Felipe shook his head.
‘Can’t, man, I’m seeing Elise.’
‘Again?’ Asher knew he sounded jealous, but he couldn’t help himself.
Felipe nodded, happily.
‘I take her for dinner,’ he said, and waved as he turned and left.
Asher glowered at Felipe’s back as he left the garage. He was being ditched for a girl. And his girl – well, if you could call her that – didn’t want to see him. Man, this sucked. At least there were only a couple of weeks till the season started, then he would be too busy to care. Maybe. His phone buzzed and he looked down at it.
‘Fine, get pepperoni. Lots of pepperoni. Nothing fishy.’
Asher’s face broke into a smile. So he was getting somewhere.
***
‘So he’s coming over tonight after all?’
Ava tried to ignore the way Elise was looking at her.
‘Hey,’ she said, shrugging casually, ‘I like pizza.’
‘Riiight,’ Elise laughed, shaking her head. ‘Nothing to do with the guy bringing the pizza, of course. How’s your sex-only thing going, anyway?’
‘Fine thanks.’ Ava ignored the tone in Elise’s voice. It was sex only. Or maybe sex and pizza. ‘What’s going on with you and that racer dude?’
‘Felipe?’ Elise’s voice had gone all dreamy and Ava stared at her. This was not like her friend, at all. ‘He’s amazing; he’s barely left my house since the benefit.’
Ava stared at her.
‘He’s been there all weekend?’
Elise nodded, looking happy.
‘And he’s taking me to dinner tonight.’
‘Wow, it sounds like you really like him,’ Ava said, uncertainly.
‘I do,’ Elise said, smiling at her. ‘He’s not like anyone I’ve met before.’
Ava privately thought this was hardly surprising; he seemed like a bit of an oddball. But she had to be happy for her friend, even if she thought the whole thing was bizarre. She also realised that if her friend and this Felipe guy were getting serious, then it would be harder when she called time on this ‘thing’, whatever it was, with Asher. Which would have to be sooner, rather than later, for his sake as well as her own.
‘Felipe says Asher seems really into you,’ Elise said, looking at her friend.
‘Really?’ Ava felt a little glow at that, but stamped on it quickly. ‘I’m sure he’s into every woman he meets, Elise.’
Elise shook her head.
‘No, Felipe says Asher’s been having trouble concentrating when he’s on track and stuff, and he’s sure it’s cos of you.’
‘That’s stupid,’ Ava said, shaking her head. ‘He shouldn’t be letting it affect his job, even if it is true.’
Elise shrugged.
‘And how much work have you managed to get done today?’
Touché, thought Ava.
***
Asher was just about to leave his apartment when his phone rang. Assuming it was Ava, he was surprised to find when he answered that it was his brother.
‘Dev? What’s up?’
‘Have you told mom and dad yet?’ Devlin sounded drunk, Asher thought, and it was only 7pm.
‘What? No, I told you I wasn’t going to do that. Are you drunk?’
Devin laughed, but Asher couldn’t detect any warmth or mirth in it. It sounded hollow and empty.
‘No,’ he said, but Asher knew he was clearly lying. He’d seen Devlin drunk enough to know what he sounded like it when he had had too much. He didn’t want to push it, though. It wasn’t his business.
‘Alright,’ Asher said. ‘Look, just tell mom and dad, they’ll be pissed but what are they going to do about it? Mom might cry, but dad will just do his silent disapproval thing, and then it’ll be forgotten about.’
He heard Devlin sigh.
‘Maybe,’ he said. ‘How’s the car?’
Asher was surprised by his brother’s sudden interest in his career. He had never been bothered with it before, and Asher had assumed after the angry phone call he had received after signing with Pegasus, that Devlin wouldn’t ever want to hear about it. He also reflected that this was the third phone call with his brother in as many weeks, and that was unusual.
‘It’s alright. It’s not a winner but it’s sturdy enough. Doubt we’ll make a podium but gotta try, huh?’
‘Yeah. Alright I’m going to go call mom and dad.’
‘Dev?’
‘Yeah?
‘Wait till you’re sober, man.’
There was a pause and Asher waited for the tirade, but Devlin just chuckled.
‘Whatever.’
That was a weird phone call, Asher thought, as he replaced his phone in his jeans pocket. He wasn’t sure what the point of it had been. And he felt uncomfortable that his brother had clearly been drunk at 7pm. What was he doing with his time now he wasn’t racing? Just drinking? He hoped his mom and dad would be able to talk some sense into him; there was no way Asher was getting involved.
He picked up his keys and left the apartment. He had to pick up pizza before he went to Ava’s.
When he arrived at Ava’s apartment, he was expecting her to be in her pyjamas again. That did seem to be her favourite attire, and it didn’t even bother him. He quite liked her casual like that. But when she answered the door, she was wearing tight jeans and a pink t-shirt. He allowed himself a moment to take her in, enjoying the way the material clung to her curves.
‘Oh, thank God, I’m starving,’ Ava said, lifting the pizza box out of his arms. ‘What did you get?’
‘What you told me to – pepperoni and more pepperoni. Do I look like I’m brave enough to disobey your express command?’
Ava looked at his tattoos and then back at him, raising an eyebrow.
‘Remember, I’m a kitten,’ he said, smiling and following her into the kitchen, laughing at the scoffing noise she made.
‘Here.’ Ava handed Asher a plate with a couple of pizza slices on it and followed as he headed into the living room to sit at the table. ‘Wow, this is good,’ she said, taking a bite.
‘It’s the best pizza place I’ve found here so far – I’ve been doing some intense research.’
‘Don’t you cook?’
Asher shook his head.
‘Not even a little. You do though, right?’
Ava nodded.
‘I love to cook,’ she said, ‘but it always seems like such an effort for just me so I tend to just make easy stuff.’
‘Well, if you ever need a reason to cook, I love food,’ Asher said, stuffing pizza in his mouth and grinning.
‘You are gross.’ Ava smiled as she daintily took a bite of her own pizza.
‘How was your day?’ Asher asked, swallowing a mouthful.
‘Fine. I spent most of it listening to Elise gush about Felipe. Did you know they’re kinda serious already?’
Asher nodded.
‘Felipe seems pretty keen,’ he said. ‘I think it’s sweet.’
‘Sweet? It’s sickening,’ Ava said, looking disgusted, and Asher laughed.
‘Not a romantic?’
Ava shook her head.
‘Not anymore,’ she said, sounding sad.
Asher wanted to probe further, find out why, but he knew she
would clam up so he just smiled at her and took another bite of pizza.
Chapter nine
Ava lay as Asher’s hands stroked her body, softly. She should ask him to leave, before she fell asleep again, but she was enjoying the sensation. She craned her neck to look up at him.
‘Tell me something about yourself.’
‘Like what?’ Asher asked, propping himself up on one elbow.
Ava shrugged.
‘Anything,’ she said. ‘I’m just interested to know. How did you get into racing?’
‘My big brother started racing first, and, being a typical little brother, I didn’t want to be left out. I tagged along with him and my dad to all his karting races and when I was old enough, I started racing too.’
‘I didn’t realise you had a brother,’ Ava said. ‘Does he still race? Or did he give it up?’
‘He still races,’ Asher said. ‘But not this year.’
‘How come?’
‘It’s hard to explain. He had some attitude problems last year, and his wife has left him. He’s pretty messed up.’
‘Aren’t you close, then?’
Asher shook his head.
‘Not at all. We’re just very different people I think.’
They lay in silence for a few minutes.
‘What about your sister?’ he asked, and Ava smiled, sadly.
‘Rose,’ she said. ‘We were very close. There was only a year between us, and people always thought we were twins cos we looked so alike. We did everything together.’
‘That sounds nice,’ Asher said, smiling at her.
‘It was,’ Ava said, remembering her sister’s smile and laugh. ‘We were going to go to the same college.’
‘What happened? Asher said, sounding tentative.
Ava sighed and rubbed her eyes.
‘I went away to college first, of course, as I was a year older. I moved away from home. We still emailed and called, but not as frequently, of course, as I was busy with school and she said she was busy too. I got a call from my mom a few months into my course saying she was worried about Rose and thought she had fallen in with a bad crowd.’
She paused, trying to control her emotions. She didn’t want to cry in front of anyone, much less Asher. She felt him take her hand and she smiled, weakly.
‘You don’t have to tell me if it’s too hard,’ he said, gently.
‘No it’s fine,’ she said. ‘I like to talk about her. I don’t get to, much. My parents don’t like to think about it.’
Asher squeezed her hand and she squeezed back.
‘Of course I called Rose at once and asked what was going on. She said mom was overreacting and I believed her. My mom can get a bit carried away at times, so I assumed Rose had come home drunk once or something and she had freaked out. But Rose stopped replying to my emails and stopped answering my calls. When I called the house, she was always out, and both my mom and dad were worried. They said they barely saw her and when they did, she was drunk.’
She noticed Asher’s expression change – he looked almost pensive.
‘Go on,’ he said, stroking her hand.
‘Well, I came home for Christmas break and when I got home, mom was in tears and said Rose had moved out. I couldn’t believe it – we always had the greatest family Christmases together, and I couldn’t believe she would do that to mom and dad. I thought there must have been some sort of misunderstanding. But I ran upstairs to her room and loads of her things were gone. She’d taken the photo of us together that always stood on her nightstand.’
‘Did you know where she had gone?’
Ava shook her head, sighing.
‘She didn’t have a cellphone. Or if she did, she never gave us the number for it. I called up loads of her old friends and they hadn’t seen her in months. One of them, though, gave me the name of some guy he thought she had been seeing. I looked him up in the phonebook – he lived in the worst part of town, which made me feel sick to start with. I went over there on my own. I couldn’t bear taking mom or dad cos I had no idea what I was walking into. I knocked on the door and Rose came to the door.’
Ava paused, remembering her sister’s gaunt face, her clothes hanging off her skeletal form.
‘It was obvious something was really wrong. She was drunk, and it was only the afternoon, and the apartment stank of alcohol and God knows what else. She didn’t want to let me in but I pushed past and it was like a crime scene. There were syringes lying around, and about six or seven guys and girls clearly off their faces on drugs.’
Asher made a small sympathetic noise and Ava moved slightly closer to him.
‘Of course, I tried to get Rose to leave and come home with me. But she said she couldn’t, and that these were her friends. And then she told me to leave. I couldn’t believe it – this was my sister and she basically threw me out. I went home and told mom and dad. I had to. Dad went over there, he wouldn’t let me or mom come with him. After a few hours we were really scared something had happened to him, but then he walked in. Without Rose. I had never seen my dad cry before, but he sat down on the sofa and just wept. I didn’t know what to do.’
‘That must have been awful.’ Asher thought back to the day he and Devlin had fought, and the way his dad had stood there, suddenly looking old and weary. He couldn’t imagine seeing his dad cry, he thought that would break him.
‘It was. We couldn’t enjoy Christmas, of course. I spent most of the time online researching rehab programs and on the phone to helplines. One of the people I spoke to suggested I call the police, but I couldn’t bear the thought of Rose being taken to a cell. It would ruin her life.’
Ava laughed, softly and mirthlessly.
‘Turns out, that’s exactly what I should have done.’
Asher looked at her, questioningly and she felt a tear welling up. She brushed her eye furiously and he sat up.
‘Let’s stop talking about it,’ he said. ‘I don’t want to upset you.’
Ava shook her head, fiercely.
‘No, I have to get it out.’
Asher lay back down, but didn’t look happy.
‘Anyway, I got all the information written down and I planned to visit her to go and hand it all over and try to get her out of there again. I thought if anyone could, I could. But a couple of days after Christmas, there was a knock on the door. Dad answered and it was the cops. At first I felt relief. I thought perhaps they had found her and were bringing her home. Or that she had been arrested and maybe we could get her into a rehab program.’
Ava’s voice cracked and she felt Asher’s arms around her, hugging her close.
‘But they took us into the living room and I knew something had happened. One of them was a woman and her eyes were red, like she had been crying. My mom looked so hopeful, though. I remember looking at her and thinking that her world was about to be destroyed. My dad knew, too. I’d never seen him look so tiny. He just fell back into a chair.
‘The male cop told us that they had responded to a 911 call at a property and had found my sister unconscious, surrounded by syringes. No one else was there, just her. Someone must have been there to call 911, though, but we never found out who. Anyway, they called an ambulance, but she was dead by the time they got to hospital. She’d taken a massive overdose of something. They said it was probably a mix of drugs, just the leftovers all mixed together. Apparently it’s a cheaper way to get high.
‘I went to see her in the morgue. She had to be formally identified – I couldn’t bear mom or dad seeing her like that, so I told them I would do it. They didn’t even argue – that’s when I knew how destroyed they were.’
The tears were rolling down Ava’s cheeks now, and she felt Asher’s thumb gently wipe them away.
‘She looked so small and skinny. Not like Rose at all. But it was definitely her.’
‘Fuck, Ava,’ Asher said, and somehow his swearing made her feel better and she smiled at him.
‘I don’t like to remember her like t
hat, though. She was so full of life, so vivacious. It seems like a disservice to think of her lying in the place. That wasn’t her.’
‘How long ago did this happen?’
‘About five years. My parents have never really recovered. Dad just went totally into himself – he spends all his time in his shed restoring cars. And my mom, well she just stopped going out, stopped seeing her friends. She just sits at home watching soap operas.’
‘That is fucked up,’ Asher said, shaking his head. ‘I’m sorry you had to go through that.’
Ava shrugged.
‘It’s life,’ she said. ‘It can be shit, but it happens.’
Asher shook his head.
‘It shouldn’t happen,’ he said. ‘Not to good people.’
He kissed the top of her head and Ava smiled up at him.
‘I’m sorry for boring you with my life story,’ she said. ‘It’s just been so long since I’ve been able to speak about her to anyone. Elise has heard the story enough times, and I can’t talk to mom and dad.’
‘Don’t be sorry,’ Asher said. ‘I’m glad you told me.’
They lay together for a few minutes, Asher stroking Ava’s hair.
‘I have to get up early tomorrow – I’ve got work,’ she said.
Asher nodded.
‘I have to be at the track for 9. I can leave, if you want…’
Ava shook her head. He might as well stay if he was going to be leaving early
‘It’s fine,’ she said. ‘Just no cuddling.’
Asher chuckled and she glared at him.
‘I mean it, Asher.’
‘Fine.’ He held his hands up. ‘I will stay on my side of the bed.’
Ava nodded, satisfied, and turned on her side. She felt Asher’s lips graze the back of her neck; felt his breath against her ear as he whispered, ‘Goodnight, beautiful.’ She shivered slightly and pulled the covers around her. Just sex.
***
Asher lay there, wide awake. Ava’s story had really affected him. Shit, he wished he had never asked about her sister. He felt like he had forced her to relive the worst day of her life. And it made him think of Devlin.
He thought about the phone call earlier, Devlin clearly drunk. Surely he couldn’t be an addict? The guy was loaded, and Asher was sure he had loads of friends. But maybe they were only the type of friends who stuck around when you were a championship contender and racing for the best team on the grid. He’d been around the racing scene long enough to know friends could be fickle. And now his wife had left him, perhaps she been the only thing keeping him grounded, however disinterested in her he had seemed.
