by Laney Powell
But once I got back, I couldn’t sit still. I moved around the room, unable to land anywhere. I couldn’t focus on my homework. Sorcha’s words rang in my ears, and I wondered if I beat her to a pulp and pulled a chunk of her hair that she was always tossing around right out of her head I’d feel better.
The knock on my door made me jump. I went and opened it a little to find Devin on the other side. I opened it all the way and stepped back to let him in.
“Are you all right?” he asked as he had the day in the dining hall, head down, hands in pockets.
“No,” I said. “But I will be.”
He looked up then. “That’s a good way to look at it.”
I smiled, feeling it falter. “Glad to hear it. I need something good to look at.”
“I’m right here,” he said, his eyebrow going up.
It took me a minute, then I burst out laughing. I laughed so hard my stomach ached, and I had to sit down in one of the chairs in front of the fireplace. Devin stayed at the door, leaning against it.
That guy was meant to lean. I’d never seen anyone look so sexy and appealing as he did just leaning. He crossed his arms, and one of his feet braced against the door—he could be a model, with that look.
When I’d gotten all the laughter out, his eyes lightened to more of a silver and he approached me. “Is it safe to come closer, or are you going to laugh in my face?”
I smiled.
“It’s hard on the ego, you know,” he drawled.
“Oh, shut up,” I said. “Come and sit with me.”
He took the other chair and brought it closer, then sat down. “Give me your feet,” he said.
“What?” I know my mouth fell open, and it probably wasn’t attractive, but of all the things I thought he might say, that was definitely not it.
“Your feet. Put them here,” Devin spoke slowly, as though I didn’t understand.
I was all about people having their own things, but I didn’t know if this was a kink, or fetish, or what was coming. I lifted up my feet and set them on his knees.
He reached down and began to massage one of my feet.
“Oh, my god,” I breathed. “How did you know that was just what I needed?”
“Necromancer,” he smiled, and his grin was wide. I could tell he was pleased with himself. This was something I hadn’t seen in any of the glimpses I’d gotten of him before. The idea that he was sharing this with me warmed me like nothing else could have. “We know shit.”
“Well, you’re on point,” I said, letting my head fall back as I closed my eyes. As he rubbed my feet, I could feel myself sinking into my chair.
“My dad does this for my mom,” Devin said. “She’s the head of our guild, and both of their families are a pain in the ass, so she’s stressed a lot. Ever since I was little, I’d see her sit on the couch in the family room, and put her feet up. My dad would come in and rub her feet. They never talked much, but both of them always seemed to feel better afterwards.”
“This makes you feel better?” I asked, my words slow, my head dreamy with how damn good it felt to have someone rubbing my feet. Someone who cared about me.
“Sure. You’re important to me, so if you’re better, I’m better,” he said simply.
I opened my eyes and dragged my head up to look at him. His face was open, his eyes were clear, and he looked younger and carefree.
The knock on the door was like watching a mask go over Devin’s face.
We both looked at one another, then he said, “You should probably get that.”
I sighed. “Yeah,” even though I didn’t want to. I moved to the door as the person on the other side knocked again, this time with more urgency. I opened to see Carrick filling the doorway.
“I need to talk to you,” he said, stepping in before I could say anything.
“I’m kind of—”
I felt, rather than saw, Devin stand up behind me as I backed into the room.
Carrick looked up and he and Devin saw one another. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d felt this awkward and uncomfortable.
Carrick spoke first. “She tell you the deal?”
One of Devin’s eyebrows shot right up into the hair that fell into his face. “You mean, did Raven explain that she would like to be with more than one person, and am I one of those people? Is that what you’re trying to ask me, Shade?”
Carrick glowered and even though he was a good six inches taller than Devin, and muscled and burly in contrast to Devin’s wiry strength, I couldn’t tell who would win in a fight. Not that I wanted them to fight! But merely that seeing them side by side showed me how different they were. It also showed me they were the same—strong, proud, not willing to give an inch.
Kind of like me. I wanted badly to grin at the thought of them squaring off, like those old Wild West movies, but it didn’t seem appropriate at the moment.
“Yeah,” Carrick grumbled.
“Yes,” Devin said. “To all of it.” He moved to my side, and I felt his fingers lace into mine. “I’ll leave you to—”
“No,” I said, putting a hand up to his lips. His eyes widened, but he didn’t say anything. I looked at Carrick. “This is how it is. You have to accept that. You don’t get to come in, and step on me or anyone else. We all play nice here, and that means everyone is important.” I gave him the stink eye. I meant this, and I knew this had to be said.
Carrick frowned, and I wondered if he was used to being told no. He was so handsome, and funny, and all sorts of good things, I would bet that many didn’t. But if he was going to be with me, he would respect the other guys that were also with me. It would break my heart again if he couldn’t, but I knew this conversation had to happen.
Carrick stared at me, but I gave him eyeball for eyeball. Then he sighed, and stuck out his hand to Devin. “Carrick Shade.”
Devin took it, his face still. “Devin Calpurnicus.”
“Raven Nox. Now that we’re all besties,” I rolled my eyes at the doing of guys, “How about you all decide that no one gets to pee on me?”
They both looked at me, and then at each other, and burst out laughing. Which broke all the chilly currents flying around the room, and the three of us sat together in bed. We were talking about Devin’s theory of being targeted by a demon and I found that I couldn’t keep my eyes open.
“We’d better go,” Carrick said. “Madame will have our asses if she catches us.”
“No,” I said sleepily.
“Yes,” Devin said.
Carrick kissed me, his face still stubbly and I felt the desire for him flare within me. “I’ll see you later, Raven.” He gave Devin a pat on the back, and left, not looking back.
When I realized what he’d done, I nearly cried. He’d gotten the message, and he’d left first so that Devin and I could have some time together. He’d seen that he’d barged in on time that I was spending with Devin, and even though Devin had been perfect, Carrick knew he’d stepped in it a bit. So he’d left.
“I can’t wait until all these rules are gone,” Devin kissed me, and I wanted to cry because I knew I was going to sleep alone. But I kissed him back because he was delicious. His hands were cool on my face as he brushed my hair back.
“Me, too,” I said.
Devin ran his hands down my body, smiling as I arched into him. His hand came to rest at my core, and I felt myself eager for more.
“I want you,” he muttered against my lips. “I want you so bad it hurts.”
“Then—“ I began.
“I can’t stay. Not tonight, damn everything to hell,” he said, kissing me between words. “I’ll just have to go back to my own room and suffer.”
“You don’t have to,” I said, wrapping my arms around him, bringing him closer.
“I do,” Devin groaned. “Stop, woman. You’re killing me, but I have to go.”
“Since when were you all for following the rules?” I let one hand slide down to feel his hardness.
Devin�
��s eyes closed, his face looking as though he was in pain. Well, good. I didn’t want to be the only one suffering.
“Never, usually. But you’re making everything different,” he said, standing up.
My arms fell away from him. “You can stay,” I said.
His eyes smiled at me in a way that warmed me over every inch of my body. “I will, but not tonight.”
“Ohh,” it was my turn to groan. “I’m slipping in my feminine wiles,” I said.
“Never. Good night, Raven,” he said. He leaned down to kiss me once more. Then he moved away from me.
I didn’t even hear the door close. I fell asleep with a smile on my face.
Chapter Seventeen
The next day, I went to breakfast, and felt a peace I hadn’t felt since Cornelius and Margiana had hauled me out of the water. Nothing was solved, not really. And I still struggled with magic, and the whole thing about being a siren. But for the first time, I felt like things were… right.
The girls and I talked about classes, and I shared with them that I was planning to go to Guidance and face whatever had to be faced.
“What about mermaids?” I asked, changing the subject. “If we’re all sirens, what are mermaids? Do they have to put up with this shit?” I’d been dying to ask this question, ever since I’d been interrupted the first day when Sorcha had come and been a jerk, but I didn’t want to ask in class and look stupid. I knew my friends would answer me without giving me too much grief.
“Oh, they swim around, and toss their hair, and when they shift, if they do,” Nicola said, “They are all perfect. Which makes them kind of mean at times.”
“Don’t we all live in the ocean if we want to?” I asked.
“No, they tend to stay in the ocean most of the time. For whatever reason, probably because sirens could have a tail or wings, sirens live on land.”
“Well, if you’re always having to look at perfect, I guess I’d find a way to change where I could live, too,” I said.
Carla laughed. “True. We can live in the ocean if we want, but I find it pretty boring. There is a lot more diversity of life here. Mermaids tend to keep to themselves. They can go to one of the other academies, but they spend their lives in the water.”
“Hmmm,” I said, thinking about it. “When do you find out if you can shift?”
“Well, if we knew your family, we could have a better idea, but a lot of times, it happens when people aren’t expecting it,” Nicola said.
“We could throw you in the pool and see what happens,” Bettina suggested.
“Shut up,” I threw a strawberry at her, which she ducked. It fell onto the chair beside her and she tossed it back. I popped it in my mouth and she rolled her eyes. “That’s coming soon enough in class.” There had already been talk of a tank in our Shifting class. Yay me. Now I’d be struggling and wet.
Even as I was so sad over the deaths of Elizabeth and Marcus, I still felt like things were right in my part of this world. I had friends, for the first time since elementary school. Good friends. And I had my guys. Every one of them was meant to be with me, and I was meant to be with them. While it wasn’t the norm, it wasn’t out of the question. Although they were all so hot, I thought I might want to keep it kind of quiet. I didn’t need people getting shitty because I’d hit the lottery in terms of the opposite sex. I went to my first class with a lighter heart than I’d had in days.
I kept all my happy things to myself, though. The day was quiet, subdued. There were some of the sirens in my classes that gave me looks that seemed more searching than anything I’d seen from them before, but it could also be that I was being paranoid, and wearing my tinfoil hat. I’d wait and see before deciding it was me against the world. Particularly as I knew now that it wasn’t me alone, and that I did have people who would stand with me. No matter what people like Sorcha said, no matter what I might feel at times.
The end of the day came faster than I wanted. I took a deep breath, and walked into Guidance with my head high, and took my seat. People came in slowly, some looking at me with expressions I found it hard to decipher, and some wouldn’t look at me at all. Sorcha, thank holy hell, wasn’t there. While I was determined to hold my head up, and not act like that crazy chick had discovered something about me, I was glad she was absent today.
“All right, ladies. We’re all here?” Zoe came in, looking around. “Good. Let’s make it clear that there will be no more outbursts as we saw yesterday. Even if what Sorcha intimated was true, then it would be an attack on all of us. Because when one Underworlder is attacked, we all are.”
I looked at Zoe with gratitude.
“You might not have known that, Raven, but one of the ways we manage against all those who would make us something evil or bad is that we stand together. An attack against one is an attack against all. I am sorry that the class forgot that yesterday, but they won’t again, will they?”
There were murmurs, but no one spoke.
“Why is it happening around you?” A dark-haired girl I didn’t know asked.
“I wish I knew,” I said.
“Are you telling us the truth?” Another fair-haired girl asked.
I nodded. “I am. I wish I knew what was going on. I’d like to know. If it was me, I’d want to know.” I realized as I spoke that I was telling the complete truth. “It’s not fun for me to be here, in a completely new place, and know that people around me are dying.”
Zoe didn’t speak for a moment, watching me along with the rest of the class. Then she said, “Ladies? What do you hear?”
Another silence. Then the dark-haired girl who had initially spoken said, “She’s telling the truth.”
Zoe smiled, but I could tell that behind her smile she was tired. “Very good. I sense the same,” her eyes met mine. “And we can tell. That’s kind of our thing.”
A ripple of laughter moved through the room. I ventured a look around, and I could see Sorcha’s two closest friends rolling their eyes. But everyone else looked thoughtful, at least. Which meant the pitchforks were put away for another day. I hoped, anyway.
“Thank you for being a part of the lesson, even though it wasn’t planned at all,” Zoe said. “Let’s talk about how we could tell that Raven was being truthful.”
And with that, the discussion moved into how to sense when someone was lying. At first, I wasn’t thrilled to be the topic of the lesson, but about fifteen minutes in, I saw what Zoe was doing. She was making me real, making me a person, and beating home the idea that I wasn’t lying. I could have kissed her.
As class let out, I smiled gratefully at her. She gave the tiniest inclination of her head, and then looked away.
It was hard to keep my happy thoughts and feelings to myself at dinner, along with my thoughts of all the guys, but I did. The girls asked me how Guidance had gone, and all of them snickered at the knowledge that Sorcha hadn’t been there.
“She’s not used to having to shut up when told,” Carla said.
“Really? I would have never guessed,” I said, rolling my eyes.
After dinner, during which I saw Xavier huddled with a couple of demons, and Carrick and Mikhail, even as none of them came to sit with me, I hurried to my room. I’d made sure to smile at all three of them, and I wanted to see them. Tonight.
I sighed. But that wouldn’t be possible. With no cells, I couldn’t text, and I wasn’t going to be passing notes, or stopping them in front of the whole school. This communication barrier was going to take some work. I was tired of sitting here waiting to see what would come to my door. I wanted to be part of deciding exactly who came to my door.
And even though I raced through my homework, and freshened up, no one came to my door. I went to bed mad. I knew it wasn’t their fault, but really? Leaving me entirely alone? Just as I’d gotten everything sorted out with the four of them?
Definitely needed to manage the communication part of this. No cell phones really sucked. Apparently my smiles hadn’t been enough of an
invitation.
I went to bed disgruntled and frustrated.
The nightmare came roaring in. This was different than before, though. It was a man, looking at me with dark eyes that had no bottom, no soul. He was all want and need and hunger. Not in the way I wanted all of my guys, or they wanted me—I had something he wanted. His hair was dark, and he had a cruel, hard smile.
“I know you’re there, girl. I’ve felt you for some time now.”
“Go away,” I whispered. We were in a dark room that had an orange-reddish glow around the edges. I didn’t recognize it, and frankly, it scared the shit out of me. “You’re not real. You’re just a bad dream.”
“I am a bad dream, but I’m very real. I almost had you,” he said, tapping his fingers on the large, dark carved chair he sat in.
I looked down to see that I was tied to a chair. What in the fuck?
“Who are you? Why won’t you leave me alone?” I shouted.
“Where is it?” He came out of the chair, rushing at me. His face was close to mine, and I could feel the heat coming off him, angry and almost unbearable. “Where is it? Where is she?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about! Let me go, asshole!” I screamed the last word right into his ear.
He stepped back. “Very well, you may choose to pretend you are not in possession of what I need. But I will have it. You are the one who has it. I will not be trapped,” he said. “No one holds me in. Not any longer. Give it to me, and this will all be over.”
“Asshole!” I screamed again. “Let me go!”
He looked down at me, his eyes dark and hard. Then he started to laugh, and it was loud and overwhelming, echoing in the dark room around us. He laughed more and more and it became the roaring I’d heard in previous nightmares. This was him. This was the demon who was haunting me. But why?
I wanted to cover my ears but I couldn’t. I wanted to run away, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t do anything except struggle against the bonds holding me still and close my eyes, trying desperately to shut out that horrible, roaring, mocking laugh.
