by Amira Rain
When I returned to my cabin that evening, I discovered Chase and Grayson already there, sitting on the front porch with mugs of coffee. Flora had explained to me earlier that the "trouble" they and the other men needed to deal with that day was a wolf pack that had been launching small-scale attacks on a small town about twenty miles to the east.
I honestly hadn't expected Chase and Grayson to be home so soon. But, surveying their long, muscular bodies as they both stood against the porch railing right then, I was awfully glad they were.
As I climbed the two porch stairs, though, and joined them by the railing, I suddenly felt a bit shy and reserved for some reason. I knew it was probably a result of my guilt about the secret I was hiding, and I forced myself to simply not think about that.
I also forced myself to muster a little smile. "Surprised to see you two back so early."
Grayson returned my little smile with his coal-gray eyes twinkling in the fading light. "Oh, we can leave again if you'd like."
With butterflies erupting in my stomach just because of how very devastatingly handsome he looked wearing a genuine smile, I fought a grin. "No. The two of you can stay, I guess."
Chase set his coffee cup on the railing and pulled me close. "Glad to hear that, because we have plans for you tonight. Plans that involve some serious baby making. But first, dinner, which we've already got in the oven. Nothing fancy, just a baked chicken, but we wanted to fix you something, just to show that we wolves aren't all snarling and fangs all the time."
Grayson then suddenly bared his teeth and snapped them at my throat, making me actually laugh out loud, something I never dreamed I'd do around two wolves. Yes, I thought, I definitely wanted a few more days with Chase and Grayson. Despite the fact that I'd felt a sharp pang of guilt when Chase had mentioned "baby-making," and despite the fact that I was sure I was going to be experiencing many more sharp pangs of guilt over the next few days, I just didn't care. I couldn't walk away from the possibility of a few more nights of passion as intense as the one I'd experienced the night before.
The three of us began heading into the house for dinner, but just then, someone called out a hello from around the side of the cabin. I looked but didn't see anyone, though judging by a soft groan Chase made, I guessed the visitor might be Rose, the elderly woman Flora had warned me about.
Chase moved his mouth to my ear and began speaking in a very low voice. "There's this elderly woman, quite harmless and lonely, but let me warn you-"
"Flora already did."
Not a moment after I'd spoken, Rose came tottering around the side of the cabin to the front. Somehow, she looked exactly as I'd thought she would. She was a fairly small woman with a slightly hunched back, and her light gray hair was pinned up in a bun. She carried a walking stick the same medium brown color as her shapeless dress and tattered sweater. I hadn't, however, pictured one striking detail about her appearance. Sitting perched on her shoulder, seeming just as docile as a pet, sat an enormous black raven.
Rose came to a stop in front of the porch steps, seeming to observe me noticing the great bird. She glanced at it before returning her gaze to me. "His name's Jack. He goes everywhere with me. My name's Rose, by the way, and I already know yours is Rowan. A few of the shifters coming back told me that, though I was already half-thinking that even before they told me.
“I could sense a new young woman in the village, and I was thinking of a name with an R and an O. I've also been getting a few other feelings about you, and I became sure about a few different things, even before I laid eyes on you. I'm a psychic, you see. A bit of a sorceress."
Beside me, Grayson groaned softly. "Rose, it's nice to see you, but we were just about to go inside and sit down to dinner. Maybe you could come back another-"
"Hmm. Interesting. Now that I'm standing so near her, I know I'm definitely right. This one has a secret." Peering at me intently, Rose paused for a second or two. "Oh, yes. She has a secret."
My blood instantly turned to ice. But Chase and Grayson didn't seem troubled at all by what Rose had said.
Chase actually chuckled, hooking an arm around my waist and pulling me close. "What's her secret?" He turned his gaze from Rose to me with an obvious expression of amusement. "Are you already pregnant?"
Before I could respond, before I could even think of a response, Rose shook her head. "She's not pregnant yet. But still, I see some things. I see she has a secret. A secret about a deed she did in private, when no one was watching. She did this to protect someone, someone she loves.
“But even though she did this secret thing, an even bigger secret has been kept from her. There is something this pretty young woman doesn't know. But I know. And the knowing of it...well, it just makes me want to laugh, because the knowing of it is very funny."
With that, Rose did laugh, throwing her head back, even, and though Chase and Grayson didn't laugh out loud, they both seemed pretty amused themselves.
Grayson looked at Rose with his full mouth twitching. "So, what's the joke, Rose? What's the funny, secret thing about Rowan?"
After a few more chortles, Rose just shook her head, smiling. "No. I won't say. It's too funny. And when things are too funny, you don't say them. So, I won't. If Rowan ever wants to say what part of the joke is, the part of the joke she did in secret when no one was watching, that's her choice. Though I have a feeling she's going to keep that little secret part to herself right now.
“But, what's funnier still, is that Rowan herself doesn't even know the true funniness of the joke. The end funniness. The truth part. The part she doesn't even have a clue about but that may make her laugh someday. The part that may make us all laugh. Because it's just too...."
Rose dissolved into laughter again, but her laughter was soon interrupted by a loud hiccup. And then another.
Sighing, Grayson stepped down the two porch steps and gently took her by the arm. "I think you've had a bit too much to drink today, Rose. You know that homemade wine you make always gives you hiccups. Let's go find one of the boys to walk you home right now."
Grayson began walking her out to the lane, and she let herself be led, nodding.
"Maybe I have had a bit too much today. I had to drink Jack's portion because he decided he didn't want any."
I didn't realize my sigh of relief had been so loud until Chase looked at me, frowning.
"You okay?"
I nodded, forcing a smile. "Fine. Just fine."
Just completely infertile, I thought. And somehow, this woman knows something about it. I was simply dumbstruck that she'd seemed to even know something about how I'd switched Skye's and my medical records. However, I wasn't at all sure about what Rose had meant when she'd said I didn't get the "true funniness" of the "joke." I hadn't a clue. I wasn't sure I wanted to have a clue.
I suddenly wasn't so sure if I could go through with my plan to have a few more days of pleasure before telling Chase and Grayson the truth. Not with a woman who seemed to know my secret living so very close nearby. I felt rattled to my core, knowing that my relief at Rose's leaving might be very short-lived. I knew she could be back the very next day. Back to torment my conscience.
Holding me from behind, Chase gave me a quick squeeze. "Hey. Sorry if her behavior upset you. That's understandable, but try not to let it bother you. She really is harmless. She's just an old woman who drinks far too much sometimes. And maybe all her 'psychic' stuff makes her feel important sometimes. We just kind of try to indulge her here and there. Though, again, I'm sorry if she upset you."
Chase tightened his arms around me and planted a few slow, tender kisses along the side of my neck. And that did it. Rose and my conscience be damned. I was going to have my few days of fun before telling Chase and Grayson the truth. All I needed was for Rose to just stay away so I could enjoy myself without being reminded of my deception. And without Chase and Grayson possibly starting to somehow believe Rose's psychic claims before I was ready to come clean.
Chase planted
a few more kisses along the side of my neck, causing a wave of butterflies in my stomach. "Tell me that with just a few more kisses, I can put another little smile on your face. Just like the little smile you had on your face when you came up to the porch."
I turned to face him and wrapped my arms around his neck, knowing I was smiling already. "Kiss me on the mouth and we'll see."
Smiling himself, he moved his hands to the small of my back and began kissing me with such intensity I soon became a bit lightheaded, but in the most pleasant possible way.
Grayson soon arrived home, shaking his head. "Poor Rose gets so delusional when she drinks. I really do feel quite bad for her at times."
It now occurred to me that maybe I'd just been paranoid earlier. Maybe Rose really wasn't actually psychic. Maybe she really didn't know about my little secret. Maybe my guilty conscience had just made it seem so.
I soon completely forgot all about Rose. I soon completely lost all ability to reason or attempt to think rationally about anything because Chase and Grayson forced me to apply a Tickler before dinner; if forced was even the right word, which I was pretty sure it wasn't. Like the evening before, they told me I didn't have a choice about the matter, and they both seemed completely serious about this, just as serious as they'd seemed the night before.
But unlike the night before, I wasn't quite as resentful. I was actually so excited that I became wet before even putting the Tickler on.
After dinner, which I squirmed and flushed my way through, to Chase and Grayson's very obvious pleasure and growing excitement, the three of us enjoyed an evening of passion until nearly midnight. I fell asleep in their arms, thoroughly satisfied.
The next several days passed similarly. I spent most mornings and afternoons with Flora and Lily, while Chase, Grayson, and some of the members of their pack dealt with various wolf situations. One afternoon, I spoke to Skye on the phone again, though also again, just briefly because of more static and a dropped call. I spent most evenings with Chase and Grayson in bed. Rose didn't come by to visit again even once, to my great relief.
Somehow, a full week crept up on me. Alone in my cabin, shortly after dawn, I stared at a calendar on the side of the fridge in disbelief, realizing I was overdue, but not for my monthly cycle, like I knew Chase and Grayson were hoping I'd be. I was now late on my own timetable to tell them the truth.
CHAPTER FOUR
The day I realized I'd spent a full week deceiving Chase and Grayson, I didn't leave my cabin. It was raining anyway. Flora came over with Lily that afternoon, asking if I wanted to come over to their cabin to play some board games, but I declined, telling her I just wasn't feeling up to it.
"Just a bit tired, I guess."
Depressed probably would have been closer to the truth.
Flora studied my face briefly before responding. "Tired, huh? Not by any chance also feeling a little sick to your stomach, are you? Because you honestly look kind of miserable, and I wonder if it's possible that you could already be-"
"No. No, I'm not pregnant. I know that's not it. I think I just have a case of...."
A case of guilty conscience, I thought. A case of dread about telling the truth to two men whose bodies I've become addicted to.
"I guess I just have a case of general tiredness. No big deal. Guess I just want to rest up today."
I really just wanted to be alone. Flora had become a very good friend, and I'd begun to feel terrible around her, knowing that I was deceiving her, too. She thought I was a fertile woman like her, and that I'd likely be pregnant soon. She thought I'd be staying in Shadowfen indefinitely, with one of the alphas as my life mate.
I knew that revealing my deception to Chase and Grayson wouldn't just be a disappointment to them, Flora would be disappointed, too. She'd be disappointed to lose a person I knew she hoped and thought would be a long-term friend. I knew she'd probably also feel betrayed as well, as I expected Chase and Grayson to feel, too, of course.
I'd considered telling Flora about my deception and my predicament, but the time had just never felt right. Also, it didn't seem right that I would tell her about my infertility first, before Chase and Grayson.
I figured that at best, they'd allow me to stay in Shadowfen, pawning me off on one of the men who cared more about simply having a mate than having a child. I figured at worst, and probably more likely, Chase and Grayson would return me to Greenleaf, disgusted.
I didn't want to go back to Greenleaf. I didn't want to be pawned off on one of the pack members in Shadowfen, either. I just wanted to continue enjoying nights of endless pleasure with Chase and Grayson, like I'd been doing. I felt like we hadn't even scratched the surface of different pleasures the three of us could enjoy together. We'd been having so much fun with Ticklers that they hadn't even yet introduced me to any of the other little toys they'd brought home from their last trip to Ashcrest.
I knew things couldn't go on the way they'd been forever. And it wasn't lost on me at all that the longer I waited to tell Chase and Grayson the truth, the more angry with me they were likely going to be. The more betrayed they were likely going to feel. I knew they'd probably be upset that I'd wasted their time when they could have been trying to get an actually fertile woman pregnant.
After Flora and Lily left, I spent most of the rainy afternoon just pacing around the cabin, thinking, unable to make up my mind and decide on a course of action. On one hand, I felt like I'd taken my lie this far, another few days of enjoying sharing a bed with Chase and Grayson couldn't hurt.
On the other hand, I knew in my gut that another few days with them would just make me that much more addicted to the passion we shared together. It would just make it that much harder for me to finally tell them the truth. And two or three more days would just make them that much angrier and disgusted with me when I finally did tell them my secret.
When fate finally stepped in that evening to help me decide on a course of action, I was relieved and glad. Fate came in the form of a text message from Chase, who, with Grayson, was dealing with some sort of a wolf problem a few miles from Greenleaf. They both periodically sent me text messages, some sexy, some just to say hello. Most of them made me smile, though after scanning the first lines of this new text message from Chase, I knew this one wasn't going to have the same effect. The text read:
Having first moment of peace all day while waiting for enemy wolf pack to approach and just wanted to tell you something. I care about you. And not just in the bedroom, although needless to say, I enjoy our activities in that department tremendously. But I've grown to care about you on a different level. I care if you're happy or sad, and I care that you're content and satisfied in your new life in Shadowfen. And, although I don't want to speak for him, I know Grayson feels the same.
We've both grown to care about you, and I just wanted to let you know that you're not sharing a bed with two men who are only interested in you on a bedroom level. We're now both very, very invested in becoming the one to get you pregnant and become your mate for life, and all I've been able to think about lately is that I hope it's me. Maybe the longest text I've ever sent, but I just wanted you to know all this and seemed easier to say in text. See you later tonight.
I finished the text sniffling. I knew it was over. I knew fate had stepped in to end my charade, my shameful deception. I knew I couldn't continue on deceiving Chase and Grayson one more day. Not now that I knew they'd both developed strong feelings for me, which I'd begun to suspect. And not now that I had strong feelings for both of them, too, as I'd realized while reading Chase's text.
It was over. It was done. I'd had my fun, and now it was time to come clean, come what may. It had been horribly unfair of me to continue my deception for as long as I had. I knew that.
I didn't respond to Chase's text. I got into bed and cried. I clutched part of the blanket that still held traces of his and Grayson's woodsy, masculine scents. I did some thinking, and I decided that no matter what their reactions were to my coming
clean, I'd voluntarily go back to Greenleaf.
Even if they allowed me to stay in Shadowfen, mated to one of the pack members, I wouldn't be able to stand it, that I knew for sure. I wouldn't be able to stand having another man touch me when it was really Grayson and Chase that I wanted. I wouldn't be able to stand seeing them in the village, knowing that I could never have them again, knowing that I'd disappointed and betrayed them.
No, I decided. I'd just volunteer to go home. And if Mayor Jackson wouldn't refund the money the alphas had paid for me, I'd find a way to repay them myself. Even if I had to work three jobs for decades to do it. I'd prove that I was sorry and I regretted my actions.
Eventually, when Chase and Grayson still hadn't returned by ten or eleven o' clock that night, I fell asleep without even having had any dinner. After Chase's text and the realizations that had come along with it, what little appetite I'd had simply vaporized.
