by Amira Rain
She climbed up the two porch steps, her wooden walking stick thudding on each one, and came to stand a few feet away from me. "Sure picked a fine day to come visit, didn't I? I knew it was going to rain, but...well, a little rain has never bothered me. A little rain is just part of life."
Perched atop Rose's shoulder, Jack suddenly cawed, as if vocalizing his agreement with Rose that a little rain was indeed just part of life. Rose glanced at him with a little smile curving her small, pale pink mouth. "He doesn't mind it, either."
There was something charming about Rose, something that made me really like her. Though at the same time, I was still a bit afraid of her. A bit afraid that she'd suddenly start going off again about me having a secret.
Seeming to read my mind, she gave me a little apologetic-seeming smile. "I haven't been into my wine today, and I'm sorry about the other day when I was. Sorry if I came on a bit strong, which I'm sure that I did."
I returned her little smile, relieved that the experience of the other day probably wouldn't be repeated, at least not right then. "It's all right. Would you like to sit down and have a cup of tea with me?"
She said she'd love to and took a seat on a wooden porch rocker next to mine.
I went in the house and made another mug of tea, arranged some cookies on a plate, and returned to the porch, setting the plate and Rose's mug on a little wooden table between us. "Please help yourself."
She thanked me, picked up a sugar cookie from the plate, and took a bite herself before offering Jack one. "He's got a bit of a sweet tooth, this one."
He sure did. He clamped his beak around the cookie, bit off a large bite, and dropped it on Rose's shoulder before nibbling on it with obvious eager enjoyment.
I picked up my mug of tea and sat back in my wooden rocker, and Rose did the same.
She took a few sips of her tea, looking out at the rain, before turning her gaze to me. "Flora told me about what happened to your sister, and I was sorry to hear that."
I nodded, kind of cradling my warm mug to my chest. "Thank you. But she's doing okay, and she's going to be just fine. The Bloodfur wolves that have her outnumber our pack here in the village, but Chase and Grayson have some shifter wolf friends from up farther north who are coming down to help them by joining in a raid. They should be here in just a few days, as long as they don't run into any trouble from any hostile wolf packs on their way down.
“I have to think positively. Even if they do run into a problem or two that holds them up, they should still arrive well before the Bloodfur's alpha, Richard does. Chase and Grayson's spy overheard the Bloodfurs saying that he intends to spend a few weeks down near Ashcrest, trying to have one of his scenters sniff out a fertile woman to kidnap.
“Chase and Grayson have already gotten word to the royal family about them, because, of course, they don't want any women kidnapped or harmed; so the shifters in Ashcrest are aware of what Richard's trying to do, and they're keeping an eye on things to make sure he doesn't accomplish his goal.
“But at the same time, they're not going to attack him and drive him away either, because they know that Chase and Grayson need him to stay gone for a while. My sister, Skye, needs him to stay gone too. Because once he returns...well, that's when she'll be in danger. The whole situation is just a...."
Sighing, I trailed off and took a sip of my tea. "A really complicated one, I guess. But as long as Chase and Grayson's friends from the north arrive within a few days or so, and as long as the raid to free Skye can happen before Richard returns, everything will be just fine."
Or, at least fine until I have to come clean and tell Skye, Chase, and Grayson what a complete fraud I am, I thought.
Rose nodded slowly, looking thoughtful. "I've had no premonitions about this situation with the Bloodfur wolves...none at all. Some things and future events I can see with crystal-clear clarity, and others not at all, and this is one of those 'not at all' instances.
“But I think you are right. I think that in the end, everything will be just fine. Like you, when there are so many possibilities and variables concerning a situation, and when I don't have any intuitive feelings about a situation, I just try to think positively. After all, what could we do otherwise? In the absence of foresight, hoping for the best and having faith can be a great comfort."
I nodded and took a sip of my tea but didn't say anything. Now that Rose had brought up her supposed psychic abilities, I certainly didn't want to say anything that would wind her up and make her continue.
For the second time during our visit, she seemed to read my mind, giving me a little smile before she spoke. "I know you don't believe, and that's fine. No one else does, either. I've come to accept this. I know everyone simply thinks I'm a delusional old woman with a tendency to overdo it on the wine, and I suppose they're not wrong about that.
“But I do have intuitive abilities. I am a psychic. And don't worry...I won't go off on a rant about what my abilities have allowed me to see and learn about you, like I did the last time I was here. I really am sorry about that. It really wasn't right for me to do that in front of your men.
“Just know...in case you ever want to talk...I do know your secret. The details about it have become even clearer to me over the past couple of days. I know exactly what you did in secret, and why, and who you were trying to protect. I know you were just trying to protect your sister.
“I can see the caring you had in your heart when you did what you did, and I know your motives were pure. I can also see other things. Things that still strike me as some sort of a funny joke."
Jack immediately did a series of short, fast caws, almost as if laughing. Almost as if he knew what the funny joke was.
Giving her head a little shake with her dark brown eyes twinkling, Rose offered him another bite of her cookie. "Yes, he knows. He's my best friend. I tell him everything."
Jack bit off another hunk of cookie, dropped it on Rose's shoulder, and began pecking it into smaller pieces. Gently rocking in her chair, Rose took a long drink of tea. I sat speechless, my mind reeling because of the things she'd said.
Now I knew for sure. She knew. My being ninety-nine percent sure that she wasn't truly psychic had suddenly turned into believing a hundred percent that she was; a fact that deeply troubled me, because of what she could tell Chase and Grayson. Because of what she might be able to convince them of.
After watching Jack peck and nibble briefly, Rose turned her gaze to me. "I don't want to upset you, so I'll say no more about this matter. And don't worry. I'll say no more to your men, either. It's your business what you want to tell them, if anything, and when. I'll stay out of all this from here on out. I'll tell Jack to keep what he knows to himself, too."
She gave me an almost imperceptible wink before popping the last bite of her cookie into her mouth. Relieved by what she'd said, I sat back in my chair and sipped my tea. I hadn't even realized that I'd inched to nearly the edge of my seat while she'd been talking about my little secret and her psychic abilities.
Rose and I drank our tea in silence for a little while while rain continued to fall on the bright green grass around my cabin. But after she'd drained her mug and set it on the little table between us, she cleared her throat and spoke again, her gaze on some of the tall evergreens that bordered the yard.
"Well, I already know some of your secrets, so it just seems like I should tell you one of mine. My secret is that I'm not quite as harmless as everyone around here thinks. Like I told you the first day I met you, I'm not only a psychic, I'm a bit of a sorceress as well. Maybe not one of very considerable power, though I'm really not even sure about that, as I've never met another sorceress to compare."
With Jack still pecking at crumbs on her shoulder, Rose paused briefly before continuing. "Maybe about a decade or so ago, I started to develop some magical powers to go along with the intuitive gifts I've always had. The gifts I've always had that always seemed to separate me from people, the gifts that have always made me f
eel like an outsider.
“They eventually led me to come out here to live on my own years and years ago. And perhaps that's why my powers developed. Perhaps I'd always had them, but just needed to be completely alone for a while until my subconscious felt like it was safe enough to let them out."
After pausing for a long moment, still looking out into the trees, she turned her gaze to me. "It's true. I'm not quite as harmless as everyone around here thinks. Though, perhaps needless to say, I'd never use my powers on anyone in the village. I'd only use my powers to defend everyone around here, if the need ever arises.
“I doubt it will. Your men and their pack seem to do a pretty darn good job of protecting everyone around here on their own."
Giving me a smile, Rose abruptly stood, eliciting an irritated squawk from Jack. "I'll leave you be now. Promised Jack I'd take him down to the stream while it's still raining. He likes to watch water falling into water. I think it's soothing to him for some reason. Thank you for the tea, Rowan, and have a good day."
I wished her the same, and off she and Jack went, her walking stick tapping across the porch and down the steps. Jack cawed softly, eying a shifter who was patrolling the village, padding down the main dirt lane in wolf form.
When Rose reached the lane herself and was maybe ten or fifteen feet away from me, she paused and stroked Jack's dark feathers while surveying the tall evergreens, periodically glancing at the patrol wolf, seeming to be waiting for him to pad away out of earshot.
Once he had, Rose turned in my direction and spoke in a voice just barely loud enough for me to hear her. "Flora's going to have a wonderful surprise soon. She's pregnant. Don't tell her that yet, though, or anyone else. She doesn't know yet. But once she finds out...she and Hunter are going to be so thrilled. They've been trying for a good little bit, here."
Jack cawed loudly a few times, giving his wings a little flap, as if expressing that he was thrilled, and Rose continued.
"It's funny. When it comes to most things concerning wolves...attacks, fights, other packs approaching the area and all that...I usually draw blanks. But when it comes to fertility issues and pregnancies...I never miss." After giving me a clear wink, Rose turned and began heading down the lane, pulling up the hood of her gray rain slicker. "I never have!"
While the rain continued to fall, turning the dirt lane into a river of mud, I watched her amble down the lane with Jack on her shoulder. Now that I believed that she really possessed psychic abilities, I wondered exactly what sort of things about my fertility deception still struck her as "some sort of a funny joke," like she'd said earlier;
like she'd been laughing about the day I'd met her. There certainly wasn't a damned thing funny about my fertility deception to me. I still just felt sick about it. Sad about it. Sad that I'd have to eventually come clean, thereby likely losing Grayson and Chase forever. Instead of ultimately having one of them as my mate for life, I'd have neither of them.
I'd probably return to Greenleaf, and word would get around town why I'd returned, and I'd probably be looked down upon and derided. Being that everyone would know I was a liar and a sneak at this point, I was sure no man would ever be interested in a relationship with me ever again.
Not that any of the men in Greenleaf could hold a candle to Chase and Grayson, anyway. Not that I could ever be happy with a man who wasn't one of them.
CHAPTER EIGHT
For the rest of the rainy afternoon, I moped around the cabin, realizing that I was spiraling into some vortex of negativity. And this, after I'd told Rose earlier that I was determined to think positively. Though, of course, I'd been speaking about Skye's upcoming rescue when I'd said that. As for me and my own situation with my fertility deception, I was pretty much feeling like there was no hope.
Sure, I knew it was possible that once I revealed the truth and told them that I was not fertile, Chase and Grayson might forgive me, or at least one of them might. One of them might agree to be my mate for life even though I couldn't produce children. I knew this was possible. However, I just didn't think this was probable. Not at all. In fact, I guessed improbable probably wasn't even the right word to think. Impossible seemed more likely.
I figured it would take a miracle for Chase and Grayson, or Chase or Grayson, to forgive me and accept me as an infertile woman. To continue to care about me and maybe even grow to love me even though I couldn't produce a child. Yes, it would take a miracle, I was sure. The thing was, I was sure that Skye being rescued without her or anyone else being hurt was going to take a miracle, and I just couldn't think so positively as to believe that I actually might get two miracles back-to-back.
I was deep into my negativity funk when Flora and Lily came over for dinner that evening. The men still weren't back from patrol yet, and I'd forgotten that days earlier I'd told Flora to come over for a meal the next time the men still hadn't returned by dinnertime.
Embarrassed to not have anything ready, I quickly assembled a casserole and stuck it in the oven, apologizing. "Guess I've been a little spacey today."
A little spacey from being preoccupied about my impending doom, I thought. A little spacey from being preoccupied by how I'm going to have to soon reveal to Skye, Chase, and Grayson that I deceived them all.
Sitting up to the kitchen table with Lily on her lap, Flora said she didn't mind at all that dinner wasn't ready. "I'm actually not very hungry yet, and I don't think Lily is, either. We've both been nibbling on crackers all afternoon, and maybe I had too many. I was just trying to settle a little queasiness I had all day.
“Probably a result of me not cooking a piece of fish well enough last night." Frowning, Flora paused for a moment, seeming to be thinking. "Though I guess Lily had some, and she hasn't felt sick today. And Hunter was just fine this morning. My personal tolerance for food-related ickiness has always seemed to be quite low, though."
I turned from the oven to look at her, knowing full well that a mild case of food poisoning likely wasn't the cause of her feeling queasy that day. A little thrill of joy rippled through me while I thought of how joyful she was going to be once she learned what the real cause of her queasiness was.
I hadn't doubted it, but now I knew with absolute certainty that Rose had been right. Flora was pregnant, but she didn't even know it yet.
She suddenly set Lily down and took a sip of ice water, clutching her stomach. "Ugh. Here it is again. Just...a feeling of complete yuckiness. Next time, I'm going to leave the fish in the oven for a solid hour."
I looked at her with another little ripple of joy coursing through my body, making butterflies flap their wings in my stomach. But almost instantly, the butterflies disappeared, becoming replaced by a feeling something like a stone dropping in my stomach, when I realized that I'd never be experiencing myself the joy that Flora would soon be experiencing.
Skye might experience it, but I never would. I'd never mistake morning sickness for food poisoning. I'd never take a home pregnancy test and watch while it turned positive. I'd never get to tell Chase and Grayson any happy news.
However, Flora was my friend, and I was determined to be happy for her. I was determined not to let my own disappointment cloud my joy for her. My joy that I realized I couldn't show right then. With Flora not seeming to have a clue about her condition yet, I had to keep a bit of a poker face. However, I figured, maybe I could help her get a few clues.
While Lily twirled from the kitchen to the living room area, singing a happy little song about deers and rabbits all "a-leaping through the forest," I took a seat at the table, across from Flora. "Are you...." I paused, clearing my throat. "Are you late for your period or anything?"
She shook her head, smiling, though it wasn't a smile that reached all the way up to her big blue eyes, or even close. "No. I'm not late. Won't be until tomorrow. But, knowing my luck, I won't even be late tomorrow. I'm just betting my monthly friend comes before then. Though I'm hoping it doesn't. I'm always hoping. Hoping for another miracle."
&
nbsp; She took another sip of her ice water, relaxing her hold on her stomach. "See, when I had Lily, she was a miracle herself. The medical tests I underwent before getting married revealed me to be only 'possibly fertile.' And the doctor said it was a very, very long-shot possibility. So, when I became pregnant with Lily, it truly was a miracle. I was so happy I told myself I'd never dare even hope for another miracle.
“I'd just enjoy having been blessed once. I'd be content. But, of course, then my husband passed away, and I eventually met Hunter and fell in love again. And no matter how hard I tried not to, I started hoping for another miracle. Just one more.
“And most days, I'm convinced I won't get it. But then other days...." Flora sighed, lifting her slender shoulders in a shrug. "I don't know. Do you believe in miracles, Rowan?"
I believed that was probably the most loaded question I'd be asked all week. I believed in miracles when it came to her, because of Lily, and because of the baby I knew she was carrying. The baby that I knew was going to overwhelm her with pure bliss once she learned of its existence.
