by Becki Willis
The girl changed her tactics with a sudden smile. “If I take the beige one, can I look for a dress for the dance?” They were on a rare shopping excursion, if you could call visiting Wal-Mart late at night an excursion.
“What dance?” Her mother’s words were sharp.
“The Sadie Hawkins Dance next weekend. I want to go.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. No one’s asked you.” It was a statement, not a question.
Ignoring the insult, the sixteen-year-old rolled her eyes. “That’s the point, Mother. The boys don’t ask the girls. The girls ask the boys. And I want to ask Adam Hayes.”
“Who on earth is that?”
“The boy I’ve been telling you about. We have Algebra and Study Hall together. I think he likes me.”
“He likes fat girls?” Her mother dropped her eyes to hips that were full but far from grotesque. “Is he a fatty himself?”
Kenzie’s green eyes were stricken. “No,” she whispered in horror. “He-He’s captain of the basketball team.”
“Then he’ll never give you a second glance.”
“That’s not true,” she whispered. “I-I think he likes me. He carries my books and he gave me a CD of mixed songs he recorded himself. He said they were songs that reminded him of me.”
“You’ve been hiding this from me? You’ve been lying to me?” Her mother’s shrill voice was drawing stares from the handful of other late night shoppers.
“N-No. I thought I told you about the CD. I play it all the time.”
“I have no idea what you do, holed up your room all the time. Does your father know about this?”
“No.”
“I’m very disappointed in you, Shannon McWhorter.”
It was her worst nightmare; she was disappointing her parents. Again. It seemed that nothing she ever did pleased them, nothing ever gained her favor in their eyes. But since nothing she did or didn’t do seemed to matter, maybe this time she would please herself. And her name wasn’t Shannon McWhorter!
“I want to go, Mother. I’ve never been on a date before.”
“Don’t you have any pride? Don’t you want your first date to be with a boy who asks you out, instead of the other way around?”
“It’s 2003, Mother. It’s perfectly acceptable for a girl to ask a boy out.”
“Not when the girl looks like you. Dull brown hair, dull green eyes, dull pale skin. No boy wants to ask out the Pillsbury Dull girl.”
Kenzie wanted to remind her that her hair wasn’t naturally brown. She wasn’t sure exactly what color it was anymore, and it was cut in a short, shapeless bob, but neither the color nor the style had been her choice. And she was pale because she was never allowed to go to the swimming pool or the tanning bed, anywhere there might be something resembling fun. As for the fat girl comment, she was a healthy size eleven. Hardly petite, but nowhere near obese.
Lifting her chin, the teenager pretended to agree with her mother as she stuffed the beige blouse into the shopping basket.
Tomorrow, she would ask Adam Hayes to the dance.
Lost in the memory, Kenzie was not aware of the liquid heartbreak trickling down her face. She was smiling through the tears, thinking of Adam’s enthusiastic reply to her request.
“Absolutely, Shannon! I was hoping you’d ask me. I already turned down Mandy Littlejohn and Brianna Jones, just in case you asked.”
“But Mandy’s a cheerleader!” she said, in something akin to reverence.
“Aw, who cares? You’re way cooler than either of them. And you’ve got a killer smile.”
Kenzie felt her heart melting, right there in the middle of study hall. “I-I’m not sure how we’ll get there.”
“Don’t worry about it. I’ve got a car.” Adam smiled and tucked a piece of her brown hair behind her ear. “I bet your hair would be all curly if you let it grow out.”
“Maybe my mom will let me grow it out this summer.”
“Hey, why don’t I come over to your house this weekend to meet your parents?”
“I-I’m not sure that’s such a good idea.”
“Don’t they want to get to know your new boyfriend?”
“My-My what?” Her words were whispered in awe.
“Come on, Shannon, you know I like you. I think we should hook up. We’d be good together.”
She floated all the way home. Her first boyfriend! And not just any boy — one of the most popular guys in high school, captain of the basketball team, and junior class president! And by far the cutest boy she had ever known.
She skipped up the steps of their apartment and ran to her room, eager to play her CD and jot down all the delicious details in her diary. It was her only real friend.
The packed suitcase on her bed stopped her dead in her tracks.
Her mother appeared in the doorway, a smug expression on her face. “I’ve started your packing for you. Get what else you want to take, as long as it fits in two suitcases and that plastic crate.”
“Where-Where are we going?”
“We’re moving.”
“To a new apartment?” She knew the answer without asking, but she had to ask.
“No. To North Carolina.”
“Kenzie?” Travis’s concerned voice pulled her from her reverie.
She jerked back to the present as he sat beside her on the couch.
“Are you all right? Did I say something to upset you?”
“N-No, of course not.”
“You’re crying.”
“I am?” she asked in surprise. Before she could reach up to brush the tears away, he used the pad of his thumb to catch the drops on her left cheek.
“Why are you crying, darlin’? Was our first date that much of a disaster?”
“What? Why would you- No, of course not. It was wonderful.”
“Then why are you crying?” His solemn brown eyes filled with concern. “Is it your leg? You’ve been up on it too much. Is it hurting?”
“Yes is hurts, but that’s not why I’m crying. It’s got nothing to do with my leg or you or our date.” A wistful smile touched her face. “But I was remembering another first date. Or what was supposed to be a first date.”
He stiffened. “With Sweetie Pie?”
She rolled her eyes. “You have got to get over this pre-occupation you have with Craven. For your information, I was remembering Adam Hayes. He was seventeen and the cutest boy in school. I was only a sophomore, a grade below him, but for four glorious hours, I was his girlfriend.”
“Seems kind of brief, even for a teenage romance. What happened?”
“My mother found out. We moved that very next day.”
Travis put his arm around her in silent support. “Want to talk about it?”
“Not really.” She leaned into him as she said, “But I would like to talk. I’d like to know more about you.”
“I’ve already told you all the high points.”
Kenzie reached for his hand and threaded her fingers through his. “Then why don’t you share some of the low points with me?” she asked softly.
She tugged him backward, to settle against the couch cushions. Their hands were still entwined. At first, Travis did not speak, but slowly the words came.
“I don’t remember my parents. They died in a car accident when I was very young. My grandmother raised me. She was resident cook at the SonShine Children’s Home. Had her own little cottage there on the farm and everything. When I was seven, she was in town when some druggie decided to rob the bank. Gannie was killed.”
“I’m so sorry.” The words were a whisper.
“At least I was already used to living at the orphanage. It’s not like I had a big adjustment to make. Not like you did, every year or so.”
“Did you like it there?”
He shrugged. “It was all I really knew. But yeah, I liked living on the farm, working with the crops and the animals.” His fingers played with hers.
“I’m glad. I was imagining a much worse scenario.”
“It had plenty of low points. Like when my best friend was suddenly adopted out at the ripe old age of twelve. And when the Rodriquez brothers came to live there. Either one of them could have been the poster child for ‘troubled youth’. Got in my fair share of fights with those two.” A long ago memory teased a small smile from one corner of his mouth. “Both of them caused me lots of trouble. By the time I left, Rudy was in Juvy, and Emilio and I were the best of friends.”
Twined together, their fingers curled and twisted, waltzing through the air as they slowly danced to the sad tune of his life story.
“That’s the worst part of being raised in an orphanage. When you’re done, you’re done. I’ve tried looking him up, seeing whatever came of him, but do you know how many people in Texas have the name Emilio Rodriquez?”
“Do you keep in touch with anyone from your time there?”
“When you’re a ward of the state and they set you free, you’re on your own.” Gravel never scraped as low as his voice did when he admitted, “There’s nowhere to spend the holidays, no home to back go to, no one to come to your college graduation. As a kid they call you an orphan, but it’s not until you’re an adult that you find out you’re truly all alone.”
Kenzie’s heart broke with the sad tale he wove. “I know it’s not the kind of holiday you were talking about,” she whispered, “but the next holiday is July 4th. I’m inviting you right now to spend it with me.”
Travis turned his hand so that her fingers danced into his palm. Closing his fist around them, he brought her hand up to his lips. “Okay, but there’s a long standing Kaczmarek tradition on the Fourth. Barbeque, potato salad, homemade ice cream, apple pie, watermelon, fireworks, baseball, the whole works. Americana at its finest. How ‘bout you go to it with me?”
“They won’t mind?”
Travis actually laughed. “Have you met Travis’s mother? If you are even remotely acquainted with them, you’re considered family and expected to be there. Being that you are their future daughter-in-law’s sister, you’ll probably have your own Christmas stocking. I know I do.”
“It’s that way with me and the Reagans. They’ve become my family of choice.”
“So is it a date?”
“It’s a date.” Her smile was wide.
As his own smile died away, he grunted. “Some first date this one has turned out to be,” he scoffed at himself. “In case you haven’t noticed, I don’t get out much. Guess my conversational skills are a little rusty when it comes to appropriate first date topics.”
“I happen to think this is the best first date I’ve ever been on,” Kenzie informed him smugly, curling both her arms around his as she laid her head on his shoulder.
“All this time I had you pegged as high maintenance,” he mumbled. “Turns out all it takes to impress you is a traveling carnival, a cheap motel, and an overpriced stuffed animal. Go figure.”
“See, Travis Merka, that’s why you shouldn’t be so judgmental. There’s more to me than meets the eye.”
He looked down at her, his dark eyes warm. “I stand corrected.”
The mood of the night changed. Kenzie’s gaze moved to his mouth. Her breathing quickened and she felt his do the same. “Since this is a date,” she whispered, “do I get a good-night kiss?”
“Wouldn’t be a real date without it,” he murmured, turning into her so that she tucked snugly against his chest.
He was slow in delivering the promised kiss. He touched her face, his large hand palming her cheek as his thumb moved slowly, tracing the generous curve of her lips. His eyes held hers as he moved in close. Their smoldering depths were like molten chocolate, sweet and dark and decadent. The heavy-lidded desire she saw in his eyes stole the air from Kenzie’s lungs. She saw the blaze of raw need, just before he closed his eyes and blew out a long, shaky breath. His warm breath fanned over her face, heightening senses that were already taut.
His hand moved into her hair, tangling into the dark curls. He spread his fingers slowly, the gesture somehow sensual on the back of her skull. Positioning her face the way he wanted it, Travis moved his face in close to hers, but still he did not kiss her. He skimmed the side of her face ever so lightly, just enough for the soft stubble of his evening beard to graze her cheek. He moved slowly, leisurely, as if he had all the time in the world, but the quickened and heavy cadence of his breathing belied his patience.
He turned his face just slightly, so that his opened mouth skidded along her skin as he pulled away. He trailed his mouth over her cheek, to the very edge of her begging lips, but still, he did not kiss her. His mouth traveled down her throat, his tongue flicking out to touch the spot that vibrated with her low growl of frustration. By the time he made the journey back up to the other cheek, Kenzie’s body was humming with need, and her whimper was more of a moan.
Travis’s face hovered close, grazing her cheek with his nearness. Done with the teasing, both Kenzie’s hands came up to capture his face and drag his mouth to hers. Her fingers sank into the short nape of blond at the back of his neck and she held his face so close that he had no choice but to finally kiss her.
Travis made a sound low in his throat. It started as a chuckle, but slipped quickly into a moan. The rumble echoed in Kenzie’s chest as he finally touched his mouth to hers.
A tiny, single thought entered her head. Had she really told Makenna her world was divided into before and after; before Travis’s kiss and after? What had she been thinking? There was no before. Her world started now.
And then rational thought fell away, as easily as the paisley shirt fell from her shoulders. Beneath heavy lids, his dark eyes caressed the curves of her body, displayed by the red clinging tank top. From where it rested on the curve of her hip, his hand began to move. It slipped over the quivering muscles of her abdomen, began to inch its way upward. Kenzie gulped in a breath of air, aching to have him touch her intimately for the first time.
Her phone buzzed, derailing the tentative path of discovery. Kenzie ignored the vibration, unconcerned with whomever might be calling at such an inopportune time, but Travis glanced at the device beside them.
“Mr. Sweetie Pie,” he growled, pulling away.
Stricken by his sudden withdrawal, she laid her hand against his chest and felt the quickened pump of his heart. He refused to meet her eyes.
Very deliberately, Kenzie stood up. She saw the quick flash of pain cross his face before he hid the emotion with indifference.
His aloof facade dissolved into disbelief as she turned around and settled herself astride his leg. “Who?” she murmured, pulling the red tank top over her head and tossing it aside.
Travis’s hands went to her waist and spread from there. One traveled around her, to tug her closer and linger in a caress. The other started a slow journey up her torso as she squirmed on his knee. Her lacy black bra slid to the floor and her heavy breasts fell free. And when Travis finally put his hands on her, touching her with his callused palms, Kenzie swore she heard her skin sizzle.
He trailed open-mouthed kisses along her neck, following the path of her collarbone. His broad hands splayed across her back, pressing her close into his hot, hungry mouth. The rough stubble along his jaw pricked the tender skin of her breasts and heightened her awareness. Kenzie lost herself to sensation as he marked her with love bites. He was branding the territory as his own, claiming her with his hands, stamping his mark on her body, as well as her soul.
Kenzie’s fingers were clumsy as she fumbled with the pearl snaps of his shirt. Finally unfastened, she pushed the shirt from Travis’s broad chest. She tenderly kissed the vicious scar puckering his otherwise perfect chest. When she trembled with the memory of its origin, he growled lowly and plundered her mouth with his, effectively squelching the unpleasant thoughts.
She let her eager hands roam over him, exploring the muscled expanse that quivered neath her touch. Giddy with the power she held over the man, she squirmed against him and breathed encouragement
into his ravishing mouth. “Travis.” Half whimper, half plea.
His hands stilled upon her.
With dread, her eyes opened and sought out his. One look into their tortured brown depths and she knew there was something wrong. “What is it, Travis?” she whispered in alarm.
“We can’t. I can’t.” His words were tight, a blended mess of desire and regret, salted with pain.
Her first instinct was to lash out at him. He had worked her up into a quivering jumble of need; much more of his mouth and hands upon her, and she would have come undone right there on his lap. Now suddenly he was pulling away from her, leaving her body tight and begging for more. But something in his wounded eyes reflected in his words. Pressed against him, straddling his thigh, she knew he wanted her; whatever was bothering him went deeper than desire.
She leaned her forehead against his, trying to calm her run-away breathing. Her run-away heart was another matter. “What’s wrong, Travis?” she begged.
“I’m sorry, darlin’. I shouldn’t have started something I couldn’t finish.”
“Is it- Is it because it’s only our first date?” It was only a half-jest. She knew he was all about honor and respect.
“There is that.” He gave a wry snort.
“Is it your job?” she guessed. “Is it because you’re supposed to be protecting me and you think you’re crossing some invisible line?”
“I crossed that line a long time ago.”
“So what is it? I know you want this as much as I do.”
“Of course I do.” His words were rough, his kiss gentle, as he moved his head just enough to feather his lips along her cheek. “You have no idea how much.”
Thrilled at the low timber of his words, she wasn’t above begging. “Then why can’t we?”
Travis carefully extricated himself from her arms and gently pushed her off his knee. She stood back as he got up and paced away. When he wheeled around to face her, his face was a study of pain and confusion. “I live by a very strict code of honor.” His usually firm voice was suddenly uncertain.
“Yes, I know you do.” She crossed her arms over her bare chest, suddenly feeling exposed and vulnerable.
