“Oooh . . . he’s starting.” Jamie gets all excited and hits me as if I’m not already watching him.
“I have ears, you know.”
“Shhhh . . .” she shushes me, keeping her eyes on him as he speaks again.
“First off, I want to thank you all for coming to my performances over the years. I appreciate it, and it saddens me to say that this will be my last performance here for a while.”
“No!” the crowd shouts.
“Why?” is tossed around the room.
Micah smiles and adjusts the microphone to answer the screaming fans. “Because I’ll be performing at Express. I’ll have my own place to run, so unfortunately, I won’t be around here much. You’re more than welcome to still follow my performances, but don’t forget to show my boy Alexander some love. Tweet about Vortex and continue to spread the word.”
He’s about to start playing when a random person yells from the back of the crowd. “Will you be playing shirtless?”
He laughs and shakes his head. “Sorry, ladies.”
A few random girls scream that it’s okay and I can hear others close by talking to their friends about how they can’t wait for Express to open.
I’m happy for him. I truly am, and seeing that so many others are supportive of his upcoming bar I can’t help but to smile as he begins playing for them.
It’s best to put all of my thoughts and questions aside for now and just enjoy the strumming of his guitar as he begins humming into the microphone.
I still have over two months to figure everything out, and surely I can do it by then, right?
It takes me a few seconds to figure out what he’s about to sing, but the moment he begins singing, I recognize it from listening to music videos on Youtube.
It’s called Oceans by Jacob Lee.
The lyrics are beautiful, and every time I hear the song I only seem to love it more. It’s one of those songs that are so pretty and peaceful that you can just close your eyes and play it on repeat.
Except I can’t close my eyes right now, because as usual I need to watch Micah as he performs.
I need to watch him as he pours his heart and soul into singing. And what I love the most is that I haven’t even heard him sing his own music and I can only imagine how much passion he’s going to put into those once he plays them for everyone.
I have a feeling it’ll be enough to have me drowning in a puddle of tears in front of him.
“I’ve never heard this song before,” Jamie says quietly. “It’s so beautiful.”
“Extremely beautiful,” I whisper back, keeping my eyes on Micah’s facial expressions as he stays zoned in.
I’m enjoying the night with Jamie and Sebastian, us mostly staying quiet so we can listen to Micah, but as he announces his last song my brother scoots out the chair beside me and takes a seat. “Might want to blink before you hurt your eyes, little sis.”
Sebastian laughs. “I thought I was the only one who noticed.”
“Hey, I’m watching just like everyone else here is,” I say defensively. I grab for my beer and take a quick drink, trying to act cool. “It’s his last performance here for a while, so it’s kind of important. That’s all.”
“Is it?” Alexander asks. “Is that why he’s barely looked at anyone in the crowd besides you? Or am I just imagining that too?”
“Well, she is his girlfriend, right?” Sebastian asks, causing me to stiffen.
“What the fuck, Tegan?” Alexander stands up, but I grab his arm to calm him down before his temper causes a scene.
“No,” I say quickly. “Sebastian only thinks that because Micah asked me to keep an eye on him.”
“That better be the only reason,” he grinds out.
Sebastian and Jamie both look at me with wide eyes, surprised at how upset my brother has gotten at the idea of us dating.
“My bad for making assumptions.” Sebastian takes a sip of his soda and runs a hand through his hair. “I’m not used to Micah asking a girl to look out for me. I didn’t mean to rile anyone up.”
Alexander relaxes his shoulders and takes a seat again. “Don’t work me up like that again, got it? I don’t want to hear shit about you and Micah ever again. I can’t handle the mess that would make and you know it.”
“And you won’t have to,” I lie, my heart racing. “Now can we just enjoy the rest of the show?”
My brother nods, and when I look back at the stage Micah looks tense, but is doing his best to get through his last song.
He doesn’t make eye contact with me again until right before he sets his guitar down and stands up.
Everyone is clapping and whistling for him. I hate he has to walk right past our table as if I don’t exist in order to make my brother believe that there’s nothing going on between us.
My heart sinks as random girls jump up to hug him and flirt with him on his way into the building. As much as I try to look like it’s not upsetting me, I’m pretty sure that anyone with eyes can see it just as much as I feel it.
“You okay, little sis?” Alexander grabs my shoulders and bows his head to look down at me. “I’m only keeping you away from him for your own good. I know you guys have spent a lot of time together since you’ve gotten here, but I can promise that he’d run at the first sign of commitment. I’ve seen him with more women than I can count over the years and none of them have meant more to him than a one-night stand he could get off with. He’s damaged when it comes to love, Tegan.” He pauses to make sure Jamie and Sebastian aren’t listening to us. Once he sees that they’re wrapped up in their own conversation, he continues. “If he ever hurt you I don’t think I could forgive him. And to be honest, I care about Micah too much to lose him as a friend. I hope you understand how much I love you.”
“I do.” I can barely hear myself over the sound of my heart pounding, but I do my best to get the words out anyway. “And I love you too. You’ve always looked out for me and it means the world to me. But . . .”
“But what, Tegan? What if he can change?” He grips my shoulders tighter and shakes his head. “He can’t, because deep down he’s scared of being abandoned by another woman. He has mommy issues. So please . . . please tell me that there’s nothing going on between you two. I don’t want the two most important relationships in my life ruined.”
I want to tell him the truth, regardless of the consequences. It hurts so bad lying to him, but I can’t yet. Especially after seeing the pain in his eyes at even the possibility of a Micah and me. Right now he has hope. I don’t want to take that away.
He’s truly worried that we’ll both get hurt. He may not come out and say it, but he’s scared for Micah too, and the possibility of it not working out. He’s scared for all of us.
Now I’m sort of scared too.
I’m scared that my brother is going to hate us both for lying to him and I’m scared that maybe . . . just maybe he could be right about Micah.
What if he can’t change?
What if the thought of me leaving him has him hurting me first?
I’m not sure I can handle my heart being broken by Micah, because I’m scared that it’d never fully heal.
Not after knowing what it feels like to be in his arms.
Not after getting a taste of what it’s like to be his.
I want Micah Beck, and not just for today or tomorrow or even for the whole summer.
I want him for as long as I can keep him . . .
WALKING PAST TEGAN AFTER MY performance and having to pretend I didn’t want to wrap her up in my arms and kiss her in front of everyone felt a whole lot shittier than I thought it would.
As soon as I made it upstairs to my office, I punched my desk a few times, needing to let some frustration out.
It’s been close to thirty minutes since Alexander and Tegan had a little conversation before she left, and I can’t stop thinking about what he said to her. Not knowing what is driving me crazy over the possibilities.
I’m pacing around my office, still
worked up, waiting on a text or anything from Tegan when the door opens and someone steps inside.
“Everything good, Man?” I raise my head to see Alexander standing in the doorway, watching me with hard eyes. “You seem a little upset about something? Anything you want to talk to me about?”
I run a hand through my hair and steel my jaw, while shoving my phone into my back pocket. “Nothing you want to hear. It doesn’t concern you.”
He steps further inside and closes the door behind him. “I can see the way you look at my sister. What I can’t figure out is if that means you’ve already touched her or that you want to, but either way, I better not hear shit about you two hooking up. I’ve never given you shit about your personal life. This is the only fucking request I have for you. She’s my family. Blood is thicker than friendship. I hope like hell that you don’t break my trust and five years of friendship over pussy because you can’t keep your dick in check. That’s the only one that’s ever been off limits.”
“So you thought it’d be a good idea to bring Parker in the fucking picture?” I step closer to him and look him in the eyes when I speak. “Why . . . because he had a good life growing up? Parents who looked out for him and bought him things, fed him, and all that good shit that I didn’t have? Does that make him better than me? Or is it because he doesn’t feel the need to keep everyone at a distance in fear of getting hurt? What makes you think I’m not good enough for her? That I can’t love someone when I find the right one? Am I that big of a piece of shit to you? Because you keep calling me a friend but you’re not acting like one.”
“Fuck you, Micah,” he grinds out. “You know damn well that it has nothing to do with your fucked-up childhood and everything to do with the numerous women you’ve hurt since I’ve known you. I don’t want my sister added to that list. You want to know why?” He steps in closer so that we’re almost nose-to-nose. “Because I’ll be the one picking up the pieces after you sleep with her and then crush her like you’ve done every woman you’ve ever laid eyes on. You could have any and every woman your dick wants to sink into, so don’t make me hate you because you decide to choose my sister out of thousands of other willing women who mean nothing to me.”
Fuck. My heart is beating so hard that my chest is hurting. I hate that he believes I’ll only hurt Tegan. He hasn’t seen the way I am with her. I hate that he thinks I can’t change. The part that I fucking hate the most is that I’ve already sunk my dick into her twice and I have to hide it from him in order to keep our friendship intact.
“Maybe I want to change. Maybe I just need the right girl. For someone standing here judging me I don’t see you in a serious relationship.”
He laughs and shakes his head in frustration. “You’ve had twenty-five years to find the right girl, Micah. Are you sure you’re even looking? Think about it. You haven’t had one girlfriend. Not one fucking girlfriend since I’ve known you. At least I’ve tried. At least I’ve given my heart to a woman before, and so has Parker. So, yeah . . . I brought him into the picture. I did it because I knew that he wouldn’t hurt Tegan. If anything she’d hurt him. That might’ve been an asshole thing for me to do, but I’ll do anything to protect my sister from someone like you who has the capability of crushing her world completely.”
His words have me running my hands over my face in anger. There’s so much I want to say right now but am holding back because I don’t want to upset Tegan by giving us away.
We need more time together, so I can prove to her first that I can change. That I’m committed to her and I never plan on hurting her. Once she believes it I’ll spend all my damn time proving it to him if I have to, but right now she comes first.
“I’ve gotta get out of here before I lose my shit. Stop worrying about Tegan getting hurt by me. She hasn’t given me the time of day anyway.” I brush past him and grab my keys. “I’ll be at Express if you need me. I’ve got performances and shifts to schedule.”
He nods, but doesn’t say anything as I exit my office.
After his shit tonight, I need some time alone to think.
It’s been a few days since my performance at Vortex, and ever since Alexander had his conversation with Tegan it feels as if she’s been keeping her distance from me.
Even though we’ve still been spending time together at Express, she’s only crawled into my bed to sleep with me once since that night.
It’s pretty obvious that she’s worried I don’t want her there or that I’ll hurt her if she gets too close.
I don’t blame her for being cautious around me, but it kills me that she’s acting different, that she’s afraid of us . . . of me.
The last thing I want to do is hurt her and I need her to see that. That’s exactly why I’m standing in the dark hallway, about to do something I’ve never done before.
I’m about to give her a piece of me that I’ve been afraid to give to anyone before, but I need to show her how much she means to me and that she’s not one of those girls her brother has told her about.
I stand here briefly, staring at her closed door with my hands in my hair.
My heart has never beat so fast before. I’m truly terrified right now, but still I push the door open and step inside, gently closing it behind me.
From the rhythm of her breathing I can tell that she’s sleeping, so I crawl into her bed and kiss her neck.
The moment my lips meet her skin she lets out a slight moan and whispers my name in the dark.
“Micah . . .”
I kiss her neck again, before crawling above her, settling my body between her legs. “I can’t stand you not being in my bed,” I say against her forehead. “It feels so damn empty without you.”
She opens her eyes to look at me, and I can see the worry in them. “I wasn’t sure you wanted me in it still and I didn’t want to make you feel pressured.”
“What the hell, Tegan? Of course I want you in it. I’d want you in it every night if I had the choice.”
She reaches up to twist a strand of my hair between her fingers as she studies my face. “I’m afraid of getting hurt by you, Micah. Everyone is putting stuff in my head. I’m falling and I’m falling fast and hard. It terrifies me and I don’t know what to do. This is so much more to me than a fling like I thought it’d be, so I feel like I need to be careful when it comes to you.”
I grab her hand and kiss it, before placing it on my bare chest, showing her just how hard and fast my heart is beating in this very moment. “Do you feel what you do to me, Tegan?”
She nods.
“I’m terrified too, babe. But it’s not because I’m afraid I’ll hurt you. I’ll never fucking do that. It’s because I’m afraid you’ll hurt me. That’s the only way I’m walking away from us. Got it?”
“I won’t,” she whispers. “I won’t hurt you. Not on purpose at least. But . . .”
“But what?” I cup her face and look into her eyes to show her that I’m listening. I hear every single word she’s speaking. It’s not just going in one ear and out the other like it’s always done in the past. I don’t want to ever miss anything she says. “Talk to me. Tell me.”
She releases a small breath and moves her hand up to run over my bicep, focusing on the tight muscle as she speaks. “You’re opening your bar soon and I promised my parents I wouldn’t move away yet. What happens once summer is over?”
My heart sinks at the mention of her family. I almost forgot that she didn’t actually live here. The selfish part of me wants to tell her to stay anyway, but because I don’t want to be selfish when it comes to her, I say the only thing I can at the moment. “We’ll make it work, Tegan. I’ll take care of everything when it comes to us. I’ll do anything it takes to make us work. You have my word.”
“I trust you,” she whispers.
As soon as the words leave her lips I capture them with mine, kissing her soft and sweet to show her that I’ll be gentle with her and take care of her.
With our lips still pressed toge
ther, I slowly lift her shirt up her body, only breaking the kiss long enough to pull it over her head.
Even that is too long to go without tasting her lips.
As soon as our lips meet again, I pull her up to her knees and gently tug her bottom lip with my teeth as her hands work on removing my jeans.
I’m so incredibly hard and horny right now that I feel as if I could bust just from the feel of her hand when it runs over my length. I’ve never needed to be inside a woman more than I do at this very moment.
Within seconds I’m laying her back on the mattress and spreading her legs so I can move in between them. With our eyes locked together, I enter her in one deep thrust.
We both moan into each other’s mouths as I still my movements, giving her body time to adjust to mine.
“Move . . .” she whispers against my lips. “I need to feel you, Micah. Please.”
I move on her demand, taking her slow and deep, our bodies molded together and covered in sweat as I give her the most important part of me: my heart.
No other woman has ever experienced me in this way before and I want her to be the only.
I run my hands through the top of her hair and gently kiss her neck, making my way up to whisper against her ear. “Are you on the pill, baby?”
She nods and grips onto my triceps with a moan when I push in deeper and stop. “Yes . . .”
“Good,” I say against her neck. “Because I’m going to come inside of you.”
I move my mouth along her neck, over her jaw and up to meet her lips as I continue moving in and out of her.
Her hands are all over me, gripping at me as if she wants me deeper, but I’m already as deep as I can go, so I pick up speed, which results in her nails digging into my back.
“Micah . . . faster . . . keep going,” she pants.
Her demands have me gripping onto her waist, moving at a steady rhythm. As badly as I want to take her fast and hard, moving slow and with meaning feels way too good to change it up now.
I want her to feel me and not just physically.
Tegan
The way Micah moves inside of me is torturous, because I can feel every last inch of him. My body can hardly handle taking all of him, so I find myself begging for him to move faster.
Strung Page 17
